If You Die Before I Kill You, I'll Kill You

"You've asked what a beount is three times."

"Have I...? No. It is not yet time..."

"A madwoman after all. I've wasted my time."

Steel hissed free of its sheath.

The black knight Balthazar couldn't stomach my Kelsi patter any longer. He drew his sword.

Still, I'd bought thirty seconds. Call it a win.

The stroke he unleashed came down as a black shockwave.

It hit with a shattering crack.

"Ghk...?!"

"Hoh. Quite sturdy."

Yesterday's defense skill stopped the blow cold—and then the golden barrier spiderwebbed in an instant and broke like glass.

"Hmph...!"

The CC skill landed clean, and he didn't stay down for three seconds. He barely even checked his step.

So it really was going to come down to close quarters.

"Haaaaah!"

"Uhahaha! Good! Crossing blades is far clearer than a string of meaningless questions!"

My thrust met his guard, and his booming laugh rolled over the clash of steel.

In that case...

"Ngh?!"

The instant our weapons locked, I drove a holy fist straight into his face. The impact burst wet and bright.

"Hey. That sting?"

"Krht..."

A clean, dead-center hit, and the damage was still pathetic. A shallow scratch on the helm, at best.

"No more than this. Block ten more, if you can!"

"Hhh...!"

The black knight's sword-dance crashed in.

Steel rang. Something grated and tore. The ground jumped under a heavy blow.

"Huuurk...!?"

Every time I took a blade on the shaft, the shock ran straight through me. My fingers wanted to go slack, my wrists went numb and hot, and the muscles in my arms felt like they were ripping.

"H... hiiik!"

"..."

If there hadn't been citizens behind me who still needed protecting, I might have quit right then.

A thin whistle of air. A wet slash.

Little by little, the strikes I couldn't quite stop started kissing past my guard. My thigh opened. Hot blood ran down my cheek.

"Hahk... hhk..."

"I did moderate my strength, mind you... and yet you endured all of it. Impressive. A-Rank, at the least."

I hung off my spear, shaking, dragging in ragged breaths, and Balthazar clapped as if thoroughly satisfied.

"That iron will. That wish to protect others. I felt them well enough."

"Haa... ha..."

"But it is precisely such people who die young."

Steel scraped stone.

Slowly, the black knight came on, dragging his point along the asphalt, lining it up with my neck.

"I still have no idea what a beount is... but I shall end you with due courtesy."

"Truth is... that was all bullshit..."

"Unbelievable."

Even with my whole body trembling, I managed a crooked little laugh, and the black knight lifted his sword with a solemn face.

"Farewell, last daughter of a waning god."

"I'm... a man, you dipshit."

"...Last son of a waning god."

The blade shrieked in.

And in the instant before the black knight's edge reached my throat—

A bright, stupid ting.

"Hey, you tin-can bastard!!! Look over here!!!!"

"...Hm?"

A rock had come out of nowhere and bounced off Balthazar's helm. He turned his head, faintly puzzled.

"Madness."

"That guy..."

The one who'd thrown it, pale as a sheet, was someone I knew all too well. Gwak Ducheol, B-Rank hunter—the criminal I'd personally re-educated and gotten booted out of the hunter business.

So why had that man just stopped a black knight to save me?

"Hey! If you die, how the hell are the rest of us supposed to run?!"

"Give me a break..."

His reason wasn't noble. The monsters had stopped attacking, but that didn't mean they'd cleared a path. He was stuck where he stood, with nowhere to move.

"H-hey! Mr. Gwak! Stay still...!"

"Team Leader, pipe down! I'm telling you, if that woman dies, every last one of us gets eaten!"

"..."

And huddled beside him, a whole crowd of Physical Labor Corps workers crouched and fidgeted, not one of them sure what to do with their hands.

"You wrecked my life, so the least you can do is save it!"

"I wrecked it? You wrecked it... pfft..."

Former hunter, current Physical Labor Corps grunt—Gwak Ducheol's mouth was shameless beyond belief.

I kind of liked it.

If you executed every criminal who did something bad, who exactly was left to pay for it? Bastards like Gwak Ducheol needed to keep living and grind themselves to death.

"Then why don't you pray to a god?"

"I get it, all right!!! I'm begging whatever god is out there!!!! No matter how much grunt work they pile on me, it's better than croaking, so please, just let me live!!!"

"Ha... honest, at least."

I swallowed a hollow laugh at Gwak Ducheol's painfully sincere howling and drew my spear again.

"You would stand again to protect wretches such as these? You are not in your right mind."

"Hell if I know. Whether somebody deserves to die is a judge's call. Not mine."

"Khahaha! A most entertaining little zealot."

Balthazar flicked a glance between the terrified Gwak Ducheol and me, then spoke.

"The saintesses we met when the legion marched into the otherworld... truly, they were so dull I could not bear to watch with my eyes open."

"..."

"They never even tried to fight until they died. They wept, and they prayed. Ah, God! Please, save us! Amid this despair and trial, show us hope! So they cried..."

"..."

"Foolish bitches, the lot of them."

The point of his sword leveled on me, and the black knight went on.

"But you are different."

"How."

"From the moment you fought me, you never once prayed. Not once did you look to anyone for help. You took up your weapon yourself."

"..."

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

I listened, quiet.

"I am saying I was moved—by the sight of you cutting your own path, without leaning on some frail little faith. Last Saintess."

"Pretty words. And I don't hate being complimented."

I tapped the butt of my spear lightly against the ground.

"But that's not your line to ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠say, you fucker."

"..."

"True colors come out in a crisis? You son of a bitch. Even the Buddha stubs his little toe on a corner and it hurts so bad he starts swearing."

"..."

"You shove people into the crisis, and then it's oh, you're just a bunch of prayer freaks~ why aren't you doing anything? You should've struggled~ and a lot of tsk-tsking. Looking at that, you seem like a genuine idiot."

"Hoh... amusing."

"Amusing, my ass. You killed a bunch of perfectly fine people, and this is fun to you?"

The shaft creaked in my grip. I squeezed until it complained, and I spat the words out.

"You don't have the right to judge anyone. You don't have the right to insult them, either."

"No. I already possess that right."

"..."

"With power alone, one may become a judge. With power alone, one may kill anyone at all."

Steel whispered as we brought our weapons together.

"Your mom."

"Khh...! That mouth of yours is truly filthy!"

Maybe I imagined it...

But at the very last moment, the status window was looking at me, and ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠smiling.

Steel crashed. Something grated and split.

"Good! Come at me with that spirit!!!"

"Aaaaaaaah!!!!"

How long had it been since then?

I couldn't tell if time was passing. I couldn't even tell what was in front of my eyes. One exchange. Two. By the time ten had gone by, I was only swinging the spear wherever instinct pointed, and batting danger aside or slipping it whenever something felt wrong.

Mushin. The realm of no-self.

Whatever petty reason I'd had left, I'd thrown it away. I was just moving like an animal.

A heavy impact drove me back.

"..."

And when his blow caught me and slammed me into a building, I didn't feel a thing. A thin whine screamed in my ears. Sight, touch—none of it reached me. Only the smell of blood brushing the tip of my nose let me know, dimly, that this was the end.

"To rise twice... I am growing sick of it."

"..."

Even so, through the blur, I could see a black shape striding closer, wearing a killing air that said this time he really would cut my breath short.

And then something fell out of the sky.

"Newbie."

"Huh...?"

Pink hair stirred in the wind. A solid silhouette. A lance gleaming cold under the moonlight slid into my vision.

"I told you not to die until I was done killing you, didn't I?"

"Ah..."

Reinforcements.

The one who'd taught me the spear—the Incompetent Warrior—had shown up.

"Hoh. You are..."

"I'll show you, clear as day, what C-Rank technique can do."

A metallic click.

She cut the black knight off mid-sentence and hurled her spear.

She called out the name of a skill so ordinary it barely deserved the word. I wasn't even sure you could call that thing a skill.

The air screamed.

"...!!!"

But the force behind it was overwhelming. She had taken the simple idea of throwing a spear and twisted it to the absolute limit.

The impact landed like a falling star.

The spear she'd thrown came down beside the black knight. A low rumble followed. High-rises across a hundred-meter radius crumbled like tofu and went whirling off in the storm.

"Hu... huhaha...! Magnificent."

"There are no weak techniques in this world. Only weak bastards."

A massive crater had opened, and at the center of it the black knight was still standing, aura pouring off him.

"Come, then. See if you can entertain me."

Light cracked the air.

Every technique she used was simple. Throw a spear. Move fast. That was the entire list. But each throw hit with the force of a tactical nuke, and her basic movement skill was close enough to lightspeed that the difference didn't matter.

"Kh... heheh! This one's a bit much!"

Think the Incompetent Warrior looks manageable just because all she's got are C-Rank skills? She'd swung the spear once, and the buildings around us—and the clouds themselves—had split clean in half. Humbling, really.

"Just... knock me out nice..."

Reassured, I closed my eyes.

A vast roar rolled overhead. She called it a chain of thrusts, and spearheads the size of asteroids were ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠punching through the atmosphere, burning as they fell. I very much wanted to pretend I wasn't seeing that.

"Ugh... where..."

I came to at last, forced my stiff, aching body upright, and opened my eyes.

This wasn't the battlefield. It wasn't a hospital, either. It was something like a gym.

"Finally awake."

"Uh... who..."

"Me. Hunter Gallery's favorite regular—Incompetent Warrior."

"Aha."

The woman I'd seen right before my eyes shut—white dress shirt, white slacks, spear in hand, one punctuation mark away from a much ruder job title—looked down at me with a cool, unreadable stare.

"So where is this?"

"My gym. And my house."

"Why didn't you take me to a hospital..."

"I'm about to kill you. Why would I bother treating you?"

"..."

Turns out she was a complete psycho.

Fuck. Somebody help me!!!!

Don't just smile, help me!!! Somebody's about to die!!!