Anomaly (5): Scales of Equivalent Exchange
"I'll ask outright! What you want is the 'way to make money' that I, Sigurd de Lavallier, know, right?!"
Sigurd loomed over me, demanding an answer. I nodded.
"Then I'll ask again! What you'll pay for it is saving the life of I, Sigurd de Lavallier, correct?!"
This time, he flung his arms wide open. I nodded again.
Kreeeak—
The scales tipped to one side. Sigurd bellowed in satisfaction.
"Excellent—! Deal sealed, young wizard—!!"
I had no idea what was going on, but if it meant learning a way to make money right now, fine by me.
My gaze drifted to the scales behind him.
...But isn't it tipped way too far to one side?
When I pointed it out, Sigurd replied with an arrogant smirk.
"Fool! Scales can never be perfectly level to begin with!"
You said it was equivalent exchange.
Shouldn't it balance even then?
"Just tilt your head, and it looks level!"
"……"
Whatever. It was just a half-assed threat in the heat of the moment anyway, and as long as I could make money, I didn't care.
"So, what's the money-making method?"
"Follow me."
Sigurd spun on his heel with a dramatic flourish of his cape and strode out of the Adventurer's Guild. Evel and I trailed after him.
Once we left the noisy guild lobby, instead of heading down the bustling main street, he veered into a narrow, shady back alley.
We wove through the maze-like paths for a while until we reached a deserted slum alley, empty on all sides with no sign of life. That's when Sigurd finally stopped.
"……Should be no eyes or ears here."
He dropped his voice to a whisper and glanced around warily. Hard to believe this came from the guy who'd been flashing his golden scales and shouting his lungs out in the middle of the guild lobby just moments ago, but I let it slide.
"So, how do we make the money?"
I glared at him half-lidded. If this led nowhere after dragging us all the way here, heads would roll.
Sigurd soon pulled a crumpled sheet of black parchment from his pocket.
"Behold! This is the 'secret mercenary' request I obtained through my dark connections!"
"Secret mercenary?"
"Indeed! A clandestine deal from the underworld that lesser folk could never even glimpse! No guild rank restrictions, no blood-sucking fees... pure crimson rewards for the strong alone!"
What? No fees, no rank limits?
My furrowed brow smoothed out in an instant.
"Oh? How much is the pay?"
Sigurd thrust his chin up triumphantly and unfurled the parchment with a snap.
"A whopping five gold coins! What say you, mortal? Does your soul not tremble before this overwhelming sum?!"
Five gold coins. The silver-rank request we'd been rejected for at the counter was only three. This was serious money—enough for one bed per person from here on out, and greasy meat instead of stale bread scraps every day.
"Impressive. So, what's the job exactly?"
As my sharp expression softened, Sigurd lowered his voice conspiratorially.
"Infiltrate the mansion of a Red Beard Gang executive on the city outskirts. The target is the rare mana stone he recently smuggled in. Snag it and hand it to the client, and you'll have those five gold coins in your hands on the spot."
In short: theft.
Not petty pickpocketing, either—this was raiding the home of a mid-level crime boss with a rep in these parts. The danger was obvious, but that's why the pay was so insane.
"Isn't that illegal?"
"Ha! The law is a chain for mere mortals! This great body of Sigurd de Lavallier bows to no such worldly shackles!"
You're whispering like someone's listening, but sure.
"Whatever, fine."
I nodded without hesitation. No options for legit cash right now, so legal or not didn't matter. And it wasn't like we were robbing innocents—this was just lightening a crime syndicate's pockets.
Satisfied with my cool response, Sigurd nodded approvingly, then straightened up ramrod-stiff, eyes unblinking, and spoke.
"But there's one tiny issue."
"What?"
"They spotted me."
"Pardon?"
"Last night, I personally parted the veil of darkness and descended upon their mansion to reclaim that pathetic mana stone... but..."
"But?"
"To test their vigilance with a touch of mercy, I ever so slightly released a strand of my mighty heart image aura!"
I went silent for a beat, then translated his bullshit in real time.
"So, you hopped the fence last night, got caught, and bolted?"
"I savored their frantic flailing under my overwhelming presence before leisurely withdrawing."
"Couldn't escape in time and got your face seen?"
"Not seen! I merely graced their lowly retinas with my radiant golden hair and noble visage, impossible to hide even in darkness!"
"So you're being hunted now?"
At my prodding, Sigurd fell quiet, then flung his arms wide and shouted.
"Time to uphold the contract, young wizard!! I've bestowed upon you the golden knowledge, so now you must safeguard the life of I, Sigurd de Lavallier, in return!!!"
"Wanna die?"
This bastard tricked me. Should've known something was off when he dragged out that scale for a "deal" out of nowhere.
He'd failed once already and pulled me in because his own neck was on the line!
I grabbed his collar and shook him like a ragdoll.
"Gack, cough. It's no use, young wizard. Once the deal is struck before the scales, it must be fulfilled...!"
Coughing up a lung and still yapping—infuriating.
What was this feeling? A first in my life.
Murderous rage?
No time to write a reflection essay on that parchment. He had a god-given talent for stoking others' fury with zero downtime.
"Evel! Stomp this asshole!"
"Okay!"
"Urk, eurk!"
Evel and I vented on the guy rolling on the ground, kicking away.
Zepeto's parting words flashed in my mind.
—Go out into the world, mingle with people, and awaken more emotions...
Is this what you meant by 'more emotions'?
Thanks, I've learned a valuable one today.
"Kuhahaha...! Not bad for mortal physical prowess...! But this noble body of Sigurd won't yield to such paltry blows... Urk!"
After the beatdown, Evel and I caught our breath, heaving.
Sigurd brushed the dirt off and stood, surprisingly unscathed for the thrashing he'd taken.
"Fools. You can't even scratch this body, fortified by the scales."
He scoffed as if nothing happened, slicking back his dusty golden hair.
That shameless, flawless face reignited my anger.
"How the hell are you that tough? Did you dump everything into tankiness with that equivalent exchange crap?"
I asked incredulously. Sigurd struck his signature arrogant pose, chin high, and declared proudly.
"Precisely! I offered everything to the scales except my name, healthy body, handsome face, luscious hair free of balding woes, the illustrious noble title from my father, my vast mansion with dozens of servants, and my big-breasted childhood friend who's loved only me since we were kids—and gained this immense power!"
"Evel! Stomp this asshole!"
"Okay!"
"Urk, eurk!"
We stomped him even harder this time, pouring in extra sincerity.
"Kuhaha! Mortal, this is a clear contract breach...! The vow to preserve my noble flesh... Urk!"
If you're gonna hold onto stuff, why not keep some conscience or shame too?
The sight of him taking it without resistance yet never shutting up was beyond exasperating.
"Hoo."
After round two, my crumpled reason started piecing back together. I sighed deeply, called off Evel, and straightened my clothes.
Fact was, I'd accepted the deal before the scales. Shitty wordplay or not, pretending ignorance now that I knew his life was at stake might trigger some penalty.
Plus, five gold coins. Couldn't walk away from that.
"Get up."
I nudged the curled-up Sigurd with my toe.
"Hahaha! Finally calmed your rage and ready to join my grand plan?"
"Cut it. How long does this contract last? Not lifetime protection, right?"
"Hmph. No need to worry. It's one-and-done."
Good. Once this is over, I'll beat him within an inch of his life for real.
That's when it hit.
A gaze from beyond the deserted alleys.
"...Hoh. Faster than expected. Impressive for scum."
Sigurd muttered casually, combing back his hair.
No sooner had he spoken than footsteps echoed from both alley ends.
"There he is!"
"Don't let him slip! Finish quick before the guild or guards show!"
The alley mouths filled with rough-looking thugs. Easily over ten. And their hands gripped sharpened blades and axes.
"Young wizard! At last, the stage is set to unleash your fearsome magic!"
Sigurd smoothly ducked behind me, clapping a hand on my shoulder.
Furious, but calm down. This was business—for cozy lodgings and solo beds.
Sudden mess, sure, but money was money.
I stepped forward and addressed Sigurd over my shoulder.
"Sigurd."
"Yes?"
"Bring out the scales. One more deal."
"Excellent. What do you desire?"
I placed a hand on my left arm and turned to him.
"From here on, including whatever you see now, you won't breathe a word about my left arm to anyone."
"And the price?"
"I'll forgive this one trick you pulled. No payback beatings or sabotage."
"Hmm..."
He pondered, hand on chin, silent for a moment.
"Hahahahaha!!"
Then he burst out laughing, arms wide.
Dooong—!
A radiant golden scale materialized behind him.
"Deal sealed!!! Young wizard!!!"
Kreeeak—
The gold tipped decisively.
As the scales fully tilted, the bandage on my left arm peeled back a layer.
"Dusty, come out."
Shoooo—
Darkness blanketed the alley.