I'll Come Again
"I'll come again next time!"
That is the phrase I hate most in the entire world.
People who visit the orphanage for volunteer work toss it out so casually as they leave, but the children left behind hear something completely different.
Those ordinary words become hope and a shackle all at once, and so the children wait endlessly for people who never promised to return.
Just like parents they can never see again…
As the wounds in our hearts multiplied, we learned.
No—we acquired it.
The skill of never giving affection.
So we would not get hurt.
So the old wounds would finally dull.
We live isolated, pretending to shine for an entire lifetime.
Because new connections have long since become exhausting…
Shin Ye-in stared fixedly at the phone in her hand.
……
Swoosh—
The smooth texture felt foreign.
The latest-model phone she was holding for the first time in her life.
A gift from Unnie Ara, who had suddenly visited today.
So this was what had happened that afternoon.
.
.
.
The moment I first saw her, I felt it.
She shines on people.
Was it because she had helped me? Because of her looks? Or simply because she was a celebrity?
I still do not really know the reason.
Light radiated from her.
When I first heard why she had come, I was disappointed. But the moment I understood her true intention, admiration rose on its own.
I felt a little brighter.
"So I'd like to look around the whole place thoroughly."
"Yes. Of course you should. Would it be all right if I guided you?"
"If it's okay, could I have Ye-in show me around?"
Huh? Me?
Shin Ye-in flinched at the sudden nomination.
"We'll have to ask Ye-in first. I don't have the authority."
"That makes sense. Ye-in."
Ara turned her head toward where Ye-in stood.
"Ye-in, could you show me around?"
"Ah—yes? Yes!"
She accepted before she even realized it.
"Manager, stylist, you two rest. I'll walk around with Ye-in for a bit."
"Okay."
"Sure."
The two of them began touring the orphanage together.
What on earth is going on all of a sudden?
She had been suddenly assigned as a celebrity's personal guide, but she decided to focus on the task at hand first.
Just like always. I've done this plenty of times.
Ye-in started the tour the same way she always did for people who came to volunteer.
"This is the room where the middle- and high-school girls live."
"Hmm…"
Ara looked over the room filled with bunk beds.
Creak—creak—
She examined every corner and even shook the ladders before speaking again.
"Anything uncomfortable?"
"No. It's fine."
"Hmm… Really?"
After a moment of thought she rephrased the question.
"Let me ask differently. From your perspective, is there anything that feels dangerous or inconvenient for the kids? You can be honest."
"Ah…"
Ye-in remembered an old accident.
"The beds are a little…"
"The beds?"
"Yes… Because they're bunk beds, they can be a bit dangerous when it's dark… I think…"
"Is that so?"
"Yes."
Ara looked around a little longer, then left the girls' dormitory.
Ye-in's tour continued.
Ara entered every room Ye-in showed her and seemed to memorize every detail with careful eyes. Ye-in watched her with growing puzzlement.
Why is she going this far?
It did not make sense.
The sponsorship is already decided. Couldn't she just leave the rest to someone else?
Most people who came to volunteer did exactly that.
They glanced around, played with the kids for a little while, and left.
Almost no one examined the living spaces this thoroughly.
Especially not a celebrity.
Of course, this was the first time a celebrity had ever visited.
Is she worried about her public image?
Even though only Ye-in was watching, maybe that was it.
But…
Her expression was far too serious for that.
Ye-in looked at her with eyes that could not quite understand.
They reached the bathrooms.
Ara examined even the filthy parts that ordinary people hesitated to touch, without the slightest flinch, committing everything to memory.
……
Ye-in kept watching her in silence.
Little by little the image of Ara she had held in her mind was peeling away.
Paradoxically, the light around her seemed to grow even stronger.
They finished touring every space in the orphanage.
"Is that everything?"
"Yes. I've shown you all the facilities."
"Hmm, okay."
Ara checked the time on her phone.
They had left early in the morning, so it was still only eleven a.m.
"Then let's go."
"What? Where?"
"Where else? To spend money."
"Excuse me?"
"Follow me."
Ara led Ye-in over to where Nam Tae-woo was waiting.
In the blink of an eye she obtained permission from Jo Na-kyeong, added Ye-in to the group, and they were all climbing into the van headed for the city.
"????"
Everything had happened so fast that Ye-in could not process it.
Whoa, I've never ridden in a van before.
There were plenty of cars she had never ridden in, but a van—something she had always thought of as exclusive to celebrities—felt especially special.
Whoosh—
The curtain was drawn, separating the driver's seat from the back.
Rustle—
"?"
And Ara suddenly started taking off her clothes.
"W-wait, why are you suddenly undressing…?"
"Hm?"
The flustered Ye-in asked.
"Why else? If I go out like this people will recognize me."
"Ah…"
That was completely reasonable.
She was simply too beautiful.
Still.
Holy crap, that body.
The muscles under that smooth skin burned themselves into Ye-in's mind.
Ara completely hid them under baggy clothes.
What a waste.
While Ye-in was still feeling that regret, Ara pulled a hat low over her eyes and put on a mask as well.
But doesn't that make her eyes stand out even more? Anyone can tell it's Gil Ara.
The question formed in her mind, but the answer arrived almost immediately.
Pop—pop—
Ah, she's putting in contact lenses too.
"Done."
Ye-in was freshly reminded of just how inconvenient a celebrity's life could be.
"Anyway…"
Stare—
Beside her, Jang Min-a was looking Ye-in up and down with intense interest.
"W-why are you looking at me like that…?"
Unable to bear the weight of that gaze, Ye-in asked.
"I've been thinking this since last time—want to try some makeup? I bet you'd look gorgeous."
"W-what? Makeup?"
"Ye-in, try it once. You'll look pretty."
Ara chimed in.
"B-but I've never worn makeup before…"
The most makeup she had ever done was sunscreen.
"Really?!"
Jang Min-a's eyes sparkled.
"Don't worry! I'll do it for you!! Come here!!"
Huff—huff—
Strange breathing sounds brushed against Ye-in's skin.
"U-um, excuse me…?"
Ye-in shot Ara a desperate look for help, but Ara's eyes were equally dangerous.
There was nowhere to run inside the cramped van.
In the end Ye-in was caught and subjected to a full makeover with no escape.
"Oh my, oh my, young skin really is the best, isn't it? Baby-soft, I swear!"
Jang Min-a cooed like a middle-aged auntie while applying makeup.
"Stylist, should we try putting her in some of my clothes too?"
"What?! N-no, I'm fine—!"
Clap—
Ye-in tried to protest in panic, but
"Hm? Ara, is that okay?"
"Yes. I want to have a little fun too."
Jang Min-a, still doing her makeup, simply covered Ye-in's mouth with her hand.
"Hehehe, really? Then I won't hold back—let's pick some clothes."
Ye-in had no allies here.
After essentially kidnapping her, they drove for quite a while until they reached the department store in downtown Cheongju.
Chungju was a city too, but it had no department store, so they had come all the way to Cheongju.
One by one they climbed out of the van.
"Ta-da!"
"Oh!"
Nam Tae-woo got out and immediately marveled at the pretty girl in front of him.
"Whoa! Who is this?"
Seriously, who is this and why is she getting out of my car.
He was genuinely startled.
"Who else? It's Ye-in!"
"Ye-in? Oh, it really is. I knew she was pretty, but… at this level she could debut as an idol."
With her hair, makeup, and outfit carefully done, she looked like a completely different person.
"I put her in the overall denim skirt Ara said she would never wear, finished with a light white tee!"
Late May heat.
She looked refreshingly cool.
"And by coincidence Ye-in's shoe size is the same as Ara's, so I even got her sponsored sandals!"
Ye-in shriveled up from embarrassment.
Meanwhile the now-baggy Ara climbed out of the van.
"It suits you. Shall we go?"
"Yeah."
"Sure."
Ara's group led the shrunken Ye-in into the department store.
This is so embarrassing…
Makeup for the first time in her life.
A skirt for the first time outside of her school uniform. She had no idea what to do with herself.
C-can people see my underwear…?
She kept tugging at the hem that refused to go any lower.
The group passed a full-length mirror beside the elevators.
Wow, that girl is really pretty.
Ye-in admired the woman reflected in the mirror.
Huh?
Then she noticed something strange.
Whip—whip—
The woman in the mirror was making the exact same movements as her.
And wearing the exact same clothes.
W-wait?
Ye-in froze in panic.
Thud—
From behind, Ara placed both hands on her shoulders.
"Well? Pretty, right?"
"What? You didn't even show her a mirror?"
"Of course not! I wanted her to see it in good lighting!"
Everyone had something to say, but none of it reached Ye-in's ears.
"Whoa…"
That single unconscious syllable was enough for them.
Grin—
"Shall we go?"
"Yeah. Let's go."
"Right! I'm getting hungry!"
"……"
Shin Ye-in followed them with a strange feeling in her chest.
I've never been to a department store before…
Every time the group moved, eyes followed.
And those eyes were fixed on Ye-in, not Ara.
"Wow, look at that girl over there—she's gorgeous."
"Looks like she came shopping with her unnie and oppa."
"Coming to a department store at this hour, she must be an adult? Her face is so young. I'm jealous…"
I can hear everything…
Ye-in's face turned faintly pink.
"But the one next to her—does she think she's a celebrity or something? Why is she wrapped up so tight?"
"Just looking at her makes me hot. And that fashion sense is tragic, pfft—"
"Her eyes are crazy pretty though. Total magician, lol."
Those comments were clearly aimed at Ara.
Ye-in felt her mood sour.
Yet even though they had definitely heard, the group acted as if nothing had happened.
"Shall we move on?"
"Yeah."
"Mm."
With completely unbothered faces they started walking again.
They continued shopping while checking the notes they had written down.
So this is why people call it window shopping…
She was not buying anything for herself, but shopping for the first time was still incredibly fun.
Ah! That would look great on Gyeong-su. And this would suit Da-eun and Ju-yeon.
As she followed the group past the stores, Ye-in kept spotting clothes and thinking of the younger kids.
"“?”"
Whoa, this would look perfect on Ju-hui.
Ara's group looked at her curiously, but Ye-in was too lost in thoughts of her siblings to notice.
"Ye-in, is there anything you want?"
"W-what? Me?"
"Yeah."
Ye-in climbed out of her mental swamp.
"I-I'm fine! Please don't worry about me!"
"Really?"
"Yes…"
Ara thought for a moment, then spoke again.
"Then what do you think the younger kids need?"
"Huh? The kids?"
"Yeah. I was planning to buy them new clothes anyway. As the eldest, what do you think would be best? I haven't met them yet, so you pick."
Ara offered a new suggestion.
"O-oh. Then…"
"It's okay. Don't hold back—just choose."
At those words Ye-in hesitated, then picked out a few pieces.
This was one of the more affordable brands, so what she chose did not cost much.
"Excuse me."
"Yes?"
Ara called a clerk over.
"Everything she picked—ten of each size up to XL, please."
"Y-yes?"
"U-Unnie?"
The clerk and Ye-in both froze in shock.
"You can deliver, right?"
Ara casually held up her card between two fingers.
"Yes! Of course! Please wait just a moment."
"Ah, one second."
"Yes, ma'am?"
Ara stopped the clerk who was already hurrying away.
"Everything else here too—same conditions, all of it."
"Yes!"
Ara began her full-scale money-spending spree in earnest.
This is more fun than I expected.
She had always wanted to try something like this at least once, but the chance had never really come.
Heh— I might actually look pretty cool right now.
Meanwhile Ye-in was still panicking.
W-what is happening…?
One word from her and something enormous was unfolding.
"Ye-in, is there any clothes or anything else you want for yourself?"
Ara asked again.
"No, I'm fine."
Ye-in answered the same way every time.
"Okay. Got it."
Ara accepted it calmly.
Grrr—
Ye-in's stomach let out a hungry growl.
She clutched her belly, face turning red.
Smirk—
"Shall we go eat?"
"Yeah, it's already past twelve."
"Great! You're hungry too, right?"
"……"
They went to a restaurant inside the department store.
"Order whatever you want, no pressure."
"Y-yes!"
Ye-in looked over the menu.
Hup!
And nearly choked on her own breath.
W-why is everything so expensive?!
The prices written there were absurd for a single meal.
"I-I've chosen…"
"Are you sure that's what you want?"
"Yes."
What Ye-in had chosen was ramen.
Even the cheapest ramen was nowhere near a reasonable price.
"Ye-in, the meal is on the company card."
"W-what?"
"In other words, you don't have to care about the price at all. Here—pick again."
Jang Min-a handed the menu back to her.
"Of course, nothing ridiculously expensive like king crab. If we order that the boss will yell at us."
"I-I understand…"
Ye-in looked at the menu again and chose one dish.
"Th-then this…"
"Oh? Nice! Ara, what about you?"
"Hmm… I'll have the assorted sushi."
After ordering, they began to eat a short while later.
Ye-in had chosen spicy braised short ribs.
I-it's delicious!
She tore off a piece of meat and marveled.
Like the cotton candy she had tasted only once as a child, the meat melted in her mouth.
And suddenly she thought of the younger kids who were at school.
They would have loved this too…
She felt guilty, as if she alone were indulging in luxury.
"Try some of this too."
"Eat this."
"This one's good too."
Watching Ye-in eat so happily, Ara's group kept sharing their own food with her.
"I-I'm fine, really!"
"Tsk— your unnies and oppa are giving it to you, so just eat!"
"Y-yes… Thank you…"
Nom—
Chew chew—
Ye-in ate with genuine delight.
It might have been the most delicious meal of her entire life.
When they finished eating,
"Stylist, Manager and I are going to step out for a bit. Wait here and have dessert."
"Okay. Call if anything happens."
Where are they going?
After the meal Ara and Nam Tae-woo left for a while.
Separately, the shaved ice they ate for dessert was incredibly sweet and delicious.
The kids would have loved this so much…
She kept drifting into thoughts of her siblings.
"Thinking about the little ones, huh?"
"Y-yes?"
Jang Min-a spoke to her.
"H-how did you know?"
"Hm? It's written all over your face."
"Ah… is it…"
"Yeah. Super obvious. Do you miss them?"
"N-no, it's not that. Well… it's not not that…"
Snicker—
Jang Min-a smiled quietly.
"Next time we should bring the kids along too, right?"
"What? Yes…"
Next time…
While Ye-in and Min-a quietly ate their shaved ice,
"We're back."
"Huh? You already finished?"
"Order another one."
"Nah, it's fine. We can eat later."
Ara and Tae-woo, who had stepped out briefly, returned.
And the shopping continued.
Not only the department store—they also went to a relatively cheaper outlet and even a secondhand shop.
In between they bought snacks too.
Shopping for the first time in her life was pure joy.
.
.
.
"The rose of Sharon has bloooomed!!!!! All of you, over here!!"
Kyaaaaaah!!
From a distance Ye-in watched Ara playing with the younger kids.
There was not a single trace of pretense in her.
Waaaaah—
"The world of competition is ruthless, little one. You're it."
The only problem was that she took it far too seriously.
W-why is she so fast.
She never went easy on them even while playing with children.
"Are all celebrities like that?"
Ye-in shook her head.
"What a strange unnie."
She watched for a while longer.
"Okay, I'll play with you again next time. For today, these unnies and oppas will play with you."
"Nuna, will you come again?!"
"Of course. I'll play with you then too, so that's enough for today."
"Will you bring more yummy stuff too?"
"Yeah, I will."
"Yay! Unnie! Promise? Promise!!"
"Got it. Don't worry."
Ara walked over to the bench where Ye-in sat.
"Unnie, I'm sorry. The kids are a bit spoiled, aren't they?"
"Eh, they're kids. It happens."
Thud—
She sat down right beside her.
Together they quietly watched the children play among themselves.
A brief silence settled.
"Um… Unnie."
"Yeah."
Ye-in forced the words out with difficulty.
"When you said you'd come again… did you mean it…?"
She did not want to be fooled anymore.
She no longer wanted to form new connections.
But today Ye-in had experienced so many firsts.
Makeup for the first time. Pretty clothes for the first time.
Shopping at a department store for the first time. Eating all kinds of delicious food for the first time.
Three years ago the last older brother had left the orphanage, and as the eldest sister Ye-in had worked hard to take care of the remaining children. Today, for the first time in a long while, she had been taken care of as a younger sister herself.
The precious experiences these sudden unnies and oppas had given her.
She would probably never forget this day for the rest of her life.
So she asked.
To the unnie who had shared an unforgettable day with her.
She herself spoke the words she hated most in the world.
"Of course I will."
Ara answered far too easily.
Just like everyone else always had.
"I see…"
"Yeah."
Ye-in looked at the younger kids still playing.
"Unnie…"
"Yeah."
"I hate that phrase more than anything in the world…"
For the first time she spoke the story she had only ever kept inside.
"Everyone… everyone says they'll come again and then they never do…"
"……"
"They should just not say it at all…"
One by one the faces of the unnies and oppas who had once played with them so happily flashed clearly through her mind.
"Why do they say things like that and make us wait? Why…?"
Ye-in lowered her head, hiding her face behind her hair.
Moisture fell onto her thighs.
"Hmm…"
Ara draped an arm over the back of the bench and looked up at the sky.
Then she put into words the thought she had been carrying since morning.
"Ye-in."
"……"
There was no answer, but that was fine.
"You've been thinking about the younger kids all day, haven't you?"
Clothes for the kids.
Toys for the kids.
Books and blankets for the kids.
Today Ye-in's entire attention had been only on the children at the orphanage.
"Why are you so considerate? Why do you want to give even the things you have to the younger ones?"
"Because…"
Ye-in forced the words out.
"My unnies and oppas used to do the same for me…"
"I see."
"Unnie, we… we have to be good."
"……"
"Otherwise there's always a sound that follows us…"
She spoke the words she hated hearing most.
"Things like 'Didn't you get any home education?' or 'This is why orphans are no good'…"
Even though she said them herself, the words stabbed into her chest like thorns.
"So we have to be good… Do you understand?"
"Yeah."
Ara answered calmly.
"Even so, the protagonist of your life is you. You can't keep giving everything away. Got it?"
"No… I don't understand at all. What do you even know, Unnie?"
"Who knows? Anyway, what I want to tell you is to have some greed."
"I used to have greed too. But I compromised and let it all go. For the younger kids. So I wouldn't repeat the wounds I received… What's so wrong with that?"
Ye-in asked as if accusing her.
"I never said it was wrong. But it's not right either."
"Then why say things like that? You don't know anything, Unnie."
Hearing that, Ara thought for a moment.
It should be fine.
Then she reached her own conclusion.
"I told you. The protagonist of your life is ultimately you."
"Yes. You did… But isn't that a privilege for people who live ordinary lives? Or people who live glamorous lives like you, Unnie!"
"What do you think 'ordinary' means?"
"Well… having parents… going to school normally and making friends. Living satisfied with reality… that kind of thing."
That was what Ye-in considered ordinary.
"Is that so? I see."
"Yes…"
If that was Ye-in's idea of ordinary, then Ara was not ordinary at all.
So she spoke.
"Ye-in. I'm an orphan too."
A story known in this world only to herself and Jeong Yeo-un.
She told it today to a girl she had just met.
Of course Ara had never particularly intended to hide it, but she had kept quiet because of Jeong Yeo-un's request.
"What?"
Ye-in's eyes widened.
"From the moment I became aware that I existed in this world, there were never any parents."
Well, it was not a lie.
"And I've never gone to school either. Still, I'm satisfied with reality. So? Do I look ordinary?"
"W-wha…? Yes…?"
Ye-in's mind went blank at the sudden revelation.
"Life is like a movie. And each of us is the protagonist of our own. You are, and so am I."
Ara looked up at the sky.
"You said 'I'll come again next time' is the phrase you hate most in the world."
"…Yes."
"What if you think of it this way?"
"H-how…?"
"In the movie of your life there will be supporting roles and extras, right? There's only one lead—you."
……
"What if you think of them as supporting roles or extras? They left the stage, but they stayed in your memory, didn't they?"
"Yes. That's true…"
"Conversely, to those people you are also supporting roles or extras. But they will probably remember you for the rest of their lives. I'm sure of it."
"If they remember… then they should come visit… We waited so long……"
Snicker—
"Who knows? Those people also have to make the movie where they are the protagonist, don't they? They might forget. They're human."
"……"
"That's why I came. In case people have forgotten you, I came to bring those memories back to life."
Ara smiled a comfortable smile.
"Unnie…"
Looking at that smile, Ye-in forced the words out.
"Please come again next time… You have to……"
She once again spoke the words she hated most.
"Yeah."
Ara answered calmly once more.
But the feeling was completely different from before.
Trickle—
"You have to… Really……"
Ye-in repeated the same words as tears fell.
Rustle rustle—
Ara pulled something from a shopping bag beside her and held it out to Ye-in.
"Here."
"W-what is this…?"
"A gift from your unnie to the little sister who's been working so hard taking care of everyone."
Just a short while ago, after finishing lunch at the department store, Ara had gone with Tae-woo to an electronics store.
"Your phone looked pretty old."
On top of the phone box was a sticky note.
Gil Ara 010-xxxx-xxxx
"W-wha……?"
"In this entire world, only you and our CEO know this."
"What? Know what……"
"That I don't have parents. It's confidential."
"Ah……"
"In other words, it's a secret. Got it?!"
"What? Yes!"
Ara suddenly raised her tone, pressuring her.
"If."
"If…?"
"Even a little bit of that secret leaks out? Then I'll come catch you. Understand?"
"W-what? Yes?"
"And I'll also come to check whether you're keeping the secret well. This is important."
"Ah… Yes!"
Ara ruffled Ye-in's hair.
The carefully styled hair Min-a had worked so hard on became a mess.
Suddenly she wondered if this was what it would feel like to have a little sister.
"When you come to Seoul, contact me on that number. It's my phone number."
Ye-in stared at it as if it were something miraculous.
Snicker—
"I'll come again next time."