Covered in Blood
"Mmph..♡ Nngh..♡"
This… this isn't right…
"Chuuup-♡ Schlick…♡"
I feel like I'm going to pass out…
My head was swimming. I couldn't even exhale.
Rrrrip—
She tore at clothes already shredded to rags, ripping them further still.
I'm scared… Dragon, I'm scared…
Why… why all of a sudden…
My heart was hammering far too fast. At this rate I really was going to faint. I wanted to breathe—but my lungs were so full of carbon dioxide I couldn't push any air out.
"Mmph..♡ Chuuup-♡"
My throat is being forced open… violated…
Thump thump thump—
I pounded on Dragon's shoulders. Air… I need air… I can't… My whole body was going numb, tingling strangely. I…
But Dragon did not stop. Like a machine with the brakes cut, she drove into me without mercy.
One idea surfaced. If I bit down on her tongue with everything I had, maybe I could make her stop. But… that would hurt her. I didn't want that. I didn't want Dragon to be hurt.
"Haah-♡ Nngh..♡"
A low ringing filled my ears, and amid the tangle of jumbled thoughts my consciousness began to fade.
I violated Yuan's mouth. Until he couldn't even breathe.
A black flower bloomed wide in my chest, and I poured every drop of my desire into a body so much more fragile than my own.
Violate him.
Violate him.
Violate him.
Violate him.
Violate him.
My mind seethed with nothing but the urge to force myself on him. Every other thought had sunk away—nothing else mattered. Nothing at all.
I love you…♡ I love you…♡
I love you so much I could die…♡
I want to kiss Yuan more…♡
I love Yuan…♡
Love you…♡
I can't live without Yuan…♡
So this is what Yuan's saliva tastes like. It's so sweet.
After I've kissed him plenty, I'll make a baby with him♡
I'll strip him bare and cover him in kiss marks, okay?
I'll turn him into a body that goes into heat just from the scent of my wetness♡
You like that too, right, Yuan? You do, don't you?
Let's stay together forever.
For-e-ver!
But…
Yuan.
Why aren't you breathing?
Yuan's lips went slack and limp inside my mouth. In that instant, something inside my head snapped clean through.
"…?"
At first I didn't understand. If I just kept kissing him, he would twitch and start moving again—that was what I thought as I gripped his jaw even harder.
But…
Yuan's head lolled backward with a soft thunk.
His lips didn't tremble. His tongue didn't move. And his breath… was gone.
Yuan?
The moment the tip of my tongue registered that there was no breath left inside his mouth, my mind went white with a violent crash and froze solid.
"…!!"
I tore my mouth away on pure reflex and seized his face in both hands.
His lips had gone deathly pale. His eyes, flooded with tears, had lost their focus and hung half-lidded. His body hung limp—
And…
His chest wasn't rising.
Breath.
Breath.
Breath.
Breath.
…There was none.
"Yu…an…?"
My voice came out. My heart was screaming. It hammered so hard it felt ready to burst—a high, grinding ring filled my ears—my fingertips went ice-cold and shook—my wings shuddered and folded in on themselves as if twisting of their own accord.
"Yuan!! Yuan!! Wake up! Yuan!!"
I shook his shoulders. No response. That fact tore through my chest like a blade.
"Ah… ah… ah… ah… What have I… what have I…"
Terror climbed my throat like a noose, and my windpipe burned as if it might split open. I pulled Yuan into my arms—too hard, so hard I was afraid I might break him, and still I couldn't let go.
My body shook. Wings, hands, tail—everything.
Yuan.
Yuan.
Yuan.
My mind reeled as if it were shattering, and the fire of desire froze solid in an instant, hard as ice.
With trembling hands I stroked his cheek, my lips quivering.
"Breathe… please…"
I clutched his tear-streaked face and begged.
"Why… why won't you say anything… why… why…"
Tears slid down my cheeks.
"Please… I want to hear your voice… I'm begging you…"
My heart ached as if it were splitting open. Air caught in my throat and wouldn't go down.
"If something happens to you, Yuan… I… I really can't…"
I whispered it to him. There was no answer.
"Breathe, please!!!"
"Hah—!"
Yuan's body shuddered, and he began to draw ragged, desperate breaths.
"Aaa… ah… aaaa… Thank goodness… thank goodness…"
His consciousness still hadn't returned, but I wept with relief all the same.
"Your mom and dad are dead, right?"
Huh…?
"Word's already gotten around. You're the kid from an affair, aren't you? That's why your whole family fell apart."
A cluster of classmates stood around my desk. Were they friends? I wasn't sure.
"Pwahaha! Yeah! The real wife flipped out, killed both of them, then killed herself too, right?"
No… no… no…
"So an entire family got wrecked because of you?"
"Ugh… that's seriously disgusting."
"I'm gonna puke. Bleh."
The mockery on top of my desk kept spreading. Someone's laughter echoed and re-echoed, and the classroom stretched strangely. The walls warped, the windows twisted, and people's faces melted like water, soft and formless.
"Filthy."
"Born from an affair, and you still show your face."
Those voices rang only inside my ears. My breath locked. My chest dropped like a stone.
Ah… ah, stop it…
My lips trembled. My fingertips went numb, and my vision flooded red.
Mom…
Dad…
Help me.
Why… did you leave me…
Please… please just—
Bang—!
My heart slammed so hard it drowned everything. In that instant every sound tore away, leaving only a thin whistle of wind in my ears.
I gasped and snapped my eyes open.
"Hah—! Hah… hah… hah…"
My whole body was ice-cold and shaking. Dragon was nowhere beside me. Cold sweat ran down my face, and my heart pounded like mad.
There was no classroom. No people. Only the rough cave wall and the faint glow of a campfire. On the wooden table sat a single bowl of stew.
"…It was a dream."
I pressed a trembling hand to my chest. My heart was still racing out of control. The tear tracks left at the corners of my eyes had gone cold and dried along my cheeks.
"Dragon…? Where did Dragon go?"
I was alone in the cave. Only a cold wind kept blowing through, and it felt lonely. I looked around, then found writing on the floor.
The sentence twisted something deep in my chest.
I'm sorry enough to die
What am I, really?
I thought it as I drove my forehead into the rock for the forty-eighth time. A dragon's skull wasn't going to crack anyway, so it was a perfectly adequate way to hurt myself. My forehead split open and the rock was smeared with blood, but I didn't care. The wound would heal soon enough either way.
I almost killed Yuan.
I… almost killed the person I love more than anyone in the world… with my own hands.
Squelch—
Blood ran from my forehead and pooled on the ground.
No. This still isn't enough for you.
You need to hurt more.
You need to suffer more.
I took a sharp stone and drove it deep into my wrist. Blood sprayed out like a fountain.
It hurt.
It hurt, but…
How much had Yuan hurt?
I couldn't find the courage to face him. More than the blood-soaked wrist, the thought that Yuan would hate me shook my heart as if it meant to shatter it completely.
Hate wouldn't be enough. He would despise me. Yuan would… he would definitely despise me…
What… what am I supposed to do?
I love you, Yuan… and yet I did something so terrible to you…
Maybe just dying wouldn't be so ba—
Whump—
"Dragon!!!"
A warm touch against my back.
Huh.
Why…
"Dragon… hic… where did you go… I… I missed you so much…"
Am I seeing things…?
Or… did he really come for me?
Arms locked tight around my waist. Holding on as if they would never let go.
"There's… there's so much blood. At this rate something terrible is going to happen…"
I turned and faced Yuan.
"Let's go back to the cave. Dragon."
Me.
Am I even allowed?
My feet wouldn't move. Even as Yuan pulled at my arm, I couldn't take a single step from that spot. My forehead, the backs of my hands, my wrists—all stained with blood. It kept dripping, drop by drop, onto the ground.
"Dragon… please… come with me."
Yuan's voice was shaking, and the traces of recent tears still clung to the corners of his eyes. That sight stabbed through my chest with cruel precision.
I looked at him as if to ask whether someone like me was even allowed to go. Yuan nodded firmly.
"Come with me."
As blood continued to stream from my wrist, Yuan gripped my hand even tighter.
"You're bleeding this much… I'm so scared you're going to die that I can barely stand it."
The moment I heard those words, my pupils trembled, just slightly. I stared into empty air for a moment.
And then…
At last, very carefully, I slid my fingers between his.
Then I picked up a twig and began to write on the ground. Neatly. Letter by letter.
I'm sorry
Am I allowed to stay with you, Yuan?
Yuan answered.
"Yes. Come on. I like you, Dragon.
Oh—and it's a good thing you weren't that far from the cave. I almost couldn't find you."
In that instant the strength left my legs, my wings went slack, and I nearly crumpled to my knees. Yuan caught me and helped me up.
"Come on… let's go home… The cave is our home, right?"
Those words pressed gently down on my heart. And at the same time, they made me want to live long enough to go back.
A quiet night wind brushed past the two of us. We walked slowly. Blood-soaked footprints stretched out long behind us, and every time I swayed, Yuan caught me by the side and set me upright again.
The light at the mouth of the cave shimmered ahead, and we returned to the Dragon's Cave once more.
And that night, shamelessly, my body went into heat all over again.