[No title provided]
The next day, I headed to the cafe with my heart pounding in excitement. Sure, I'd gotten scolded for not focusing in class, but who cares about that? If connecting with three women preparing to confess to me leads to secretly having their kids, isn't that the true way to serve the empire patriotically? The professors ought to give me credit for this level of effort.
After afternoon swordsmanship practice ended, I quickly showered, dressed neatly, and opened the cafe door, brimming with tension.
It was before evening rush, so the place wasn't crowded.
"Welcome~ Please have a seat at any empty table?"
"Oh, no thanks. I have a reservation in a private room."
I glanced around briefly and headed toward the private rooms designed for quiet conversations. Spotting Room 2, I approached and lightly knocked on the door.
Knock knock—
"……."
"Hasn't arrived yet?"
No response, so I figured I'd go in and wait first.
"……Huh?"
"Come on in."
But inside the silent room sat a familiar golden-haired beauty, poised gracefully. Her skin was smooth as if carved from marble, her breasts so enormous they bordered on violent. The beauty mark near her eye added a subtle mature allure…
"Princess?"
Why the hell are you here?
"I get the surprise, but don't just stand there dumbfounded—come inside already."
"Ah, y-yes—right away."
I awkwardly closed the door behind me as instructed and stepped in, staring at her in utter confusion. Her? Calling me? Why?
"Have a seat. We have important matters to discuss."
"……Then, if you'll excuse me."
The table was empty—no orders yet. Tense situations usually make your throat dry, but whatever.
"Mars Noctus, correct?"
"Pardon? Ah, yes."
"Straight to the point, then. The reason I summoned you today is for a most crucial affair."
"A crucial… affair?"
Something felt off. Facing someone she supposedly liked, the princess was far too composed and detached, stirring unease in me. And no drinks ordered? In a cafe private room like this, skipping orders meant the business would wrap up fast—before we could even finish a beverage!
"I want you to help me get together with Polo."
"……Pardon?"
"I want you to help me get together with Polo."
"N-no, I heard you, but my brain's not processing it."
The princess had called me via letter for a confession. The twist being it wasn't for me, but Polo…
Well… what was I even expecting? Romance has nothing to do with a nobody like me. As long as my soul draws breath, that word stays worlds away.
All the wind went out of my sails in an instant. Princess who? Whatever—enlightenment washed over my mind.
"J-just one thing… why write it on that stationery and send it?"
"Oh, my secretary prepared the letter. I didn't have any on hand. With my workload, I had him draft what I wanted to convey and deliver it to your seat."
……Yeah, fair enough. Not everyone carries letter paper everywhere. As student council president, she's swamped, so delegating a letter makes sense.
Yeah, I get it all…
But your secretary's a dude…
And a hulking musclehead character at that…
Fuck.
That faint sweaty scent from the stationery? Not a beauty's fragrance, but some jacked guy's sweat soaked in.
I'm burning it right now. Assaulting my precious olfactory cells with a stranger's man-sweat demands severe punishment.
"Background check shows you're Polo's childhood friend. Territories nearby, frequent interactions. And at the entrance ceremony, you two sat side by side…"
"You say that so boldly—like admitting to digging into his life."
Don't people usually hide that stuff? Admiring or fearing this gutsy princess who confesses to snooping right to the target's face—I couldn't decide.
"Hm? To know someone, you gather info from those around them, no? Besides, there was hardly anything on you."
"That's not the issue—never mind, yes… under…stood."
The worldview gap between highborns and lowly folk like me is vast. I just have to swallow it silently—what else can I do?
"Then, same time next week, here. Bring a detailed report on Polo by then."
"I never said I'd do it?"
My lifelong dream of a confession sim crashed, and her high-handed push to sell out my friend's info without consent sparked defiance. I snapped curtly, and sure enough, one eyebrow twitched in irritation.
"You'd ignore the words of this empire's princess?"
"No, but… nothing in it for me, and selling out a dear friend's secrets feels… off, you know?"
I didn't know if she approached Polo like this in the original story, but her "request" backed by power (or threat, in other words) just rubbed me wrong. And zero benefits for me.
Zero benefits! (Emphasized twice for importance.)
She's the one who needs something here—not me.
"Polo's lived cooped up in his territory since childhood, no friends but you~ He really hates folks who treat others carelessly—"
"One million gold enough?"
"Curious about Polo's underwear color, perhaps?"
Ah, can't resist money. In this world, cash is king. Money's always right.
"To think this man's Polo's only friend…"
Hey, Princess. I can hear you whispering.
Who was the one flexing power and threatening again?
"If money's tight, you could introduce me to someone from the student council?"
The academy's student council is an elite clique. They vet bloodlines, grades, conduct, talent—landing one of those would supercharge my future harem plans.
"……Just take the gold."
She eyed me up and down, then opted for cash over pimping out her people. Even she can't stomach introducing trash like me to her precious subordinates, huh?
Fuck, that stings…
"Send it over once compiled. Contact me via this Communication Stone."
She plopped the stone on the table—no thanks, no "looking forward to it"—and just left.
To her, I was merely a treasure goblin spilling Polo's intel. Nothing more, nothing less.
It's fine, Mars. Two left, right?
I shook off the emptiness, clutching the Communication Stone like a lifeline and tucking it safely into my uniform pocket.
Stepping out, I bumped into a server about to take orders—ignoring her pitying gaze, I killed time outside.
* * *
Time passed; 6 PM. Returning after just an hour, the cafe was a bit busier.
"Welco…me?"
"……Hello."
The familiar server eyed me curiously, but I played dumb and re-entered Room 2.
Knock knock—
"Come in."
A slightly low, mystical, elegant voice. Voice passes, I thought, opening the door—
"……?"
"You've arrived, brother. Please, take a seat."
A stunning woman with moonlit silver hair that stole my gaze. The Saintess sat across, eyes closed in meditation. As I entered, she slowly opened them, staring straight at me.
"Sai…ntess?"
"Yes. I am she who is called Saintess, though unworthy. My true name is for my future husband alone—pray forgive me."
"Ah, of…course…"
I knew from the game, but… that's not the point.
"Did my letter find you well?"
"You sent it, then."
Thank goodness. If another dude had handwritten it, I'd have seriously wanted to die.
"Ah. With the annual event prep this week, I was swamped, so I asked one of my guarding Holy Knights to pen it. I requested a feminine touch to avoid seeming jestful, and he delivered nicely."
……I'm done. Death it is.
First love letter of my life, penned by buff knights.
And why do those guys write in such cutesy, girly script? Fooled me.
Fuck.
"The… reason for such a letter to me…?"
"Ah, I haven't yet stated why I summoned you, brother."
Ahem. She cleared her throat softly, face turning grave, and revealed her purpose.
"I wish to swear eternal vows with brother Polo. Aid me in uniting with him, and the Goddess herself shall rejoice."
Same pattern as the princess. This pure-hearted boy (mental age 40s) was getting his dreams crushed. At this point, "heretic inquisitor" fits better than saintess.
"Hm, and what's in it for me?"
"……Weighing gains from the start?"
Her expression twisted subtly at my demand for compensation.
"Gotta give to get—that's basic trade, right?"
"……I sensed it when we met before: you truly don't suit brother Polo."
That cat incident, probably. I tried ignoring the injured one to avoid being late for first class; must've painted a bad picture for her.
"Can't risk being marked as the guy who skips class for a cat on day one. You saintesses have the clout to ditch lessons scot-free, but us normals can't."
"And for such a trivial reason, you'd ignore a small life's fate?"
"Not ignoring—people have priorities, and we respect that."
I like cats. In my past life, I watched cute cat videos often. But reality bites. Without her intervention, we'd have taken it to the infirmary—using student supplies on a cat feels iffy, and the nurse isn't a vet, so treating an animal's tricky.
Sure, Polo treasures all life, but I'm coldly rational: my well-being trumps unknown beasts. Selfish and emotionless? Maybe. But I'm no god or superman—born without that saintly compassion.
"Such a mindset will rebound on you someday. When you're gravely hurt and need aid, the Goddess shall ignore your pleas."
"Yeah, could happen. She's a busy lady, after all."
My casual tone, like chatting about a neighborhood sis, offended her. She left a Communication Stone and stormed out.
"I can't bear more. If you seek Her grace, bring the answer I desire soon."
Loathing further contact, she left without waiting for a reply.
Having bombed with two of three heroines, I pulled out the last "love letter"… no, declaration of war.
"Two down… the rest must be her, then?"