[No title provided]
It all started with the princess's visit.
After circle activities wrapped up, as I stepped out of the dormitory for class, there she was—Her Highness the Princess, sparkling brighter than ever, waiting for me.
"Heading to class at last? I've been waiting for you for a good twenty minutes."
"Uh... why is Your Highness here?"
Spotting a beauty first thing in the morning wasn't the thrill I thought it might be. Sure, the onlookers could cleanse their eyes with just a glance at her stunning looks after a quick wash-up, but for me, stuck walking side-by-side with her in real time? It was pure agony.
The princess, who smiled radiantly, suddenly rushed at me and clung to one of my arms. The guys around us gaped in shock—couldn't blame them; even I was floored, mouth hanging open to its limit. It was the kind of cartoonish scene where eyes and tongue would pop out. In my daze, she whispered in my ear.
"Why the shock? I proposed we play fake lovers, and you agreed to go along with it, didn't you?"
"No, there's a time and place for everything! I thought we'd just act a little cozy around campus!"
The academy was half a sealed-off world, so rumors spread like wildfire. Every time she smiled at me or sidled up with feigned kindness, those nagging "maybe" suspicions would turn into solid "yep, it's true" gossip, spreading far and wide.
The ambiguity of our not-quite-lovers distance would spark questions. And those questions would balloon in people's heads into wild speculations. Once the rumors swelled out of control, they'd reach the emperor's ears, and I'd be dragged to the palace as the traitor who seduced his daughter.
There, the emperor would demand she dump a lowly baron's heir like me, but she'd insist on marrying me over some Cretian crown prince. After a fierce argument, she'd scrap the prince marriage in exchange for swearing off our "relationship." End of story. But if things escalated straight to "oh, hell no," I'd be the one catching hell.
My odds of surviving socially—or physically—were under 15%.
"Waiting for one's husband is a virtue of companionship. Even if we're fakes, I won't half-ass it!"
For some reason, she looked thrilled. She'd tried all sorts of things, but playing lovers with a guy? This was new territory, and she seemed unexpectedly excited. Her ambiguous position meant she'd never dreamed of romance, and the one shot at love she'd found was crumbling under the emperor's schemes.
A woman who'd survived solo, relying on no one, was tasting the thrill of a lover's company—like a fresh sense of freedom?
In the end, that day I paraded to class arm-in-arm with her for the whole school to see. Classes dragged on with students—and even professors—sneaking glances at me, turning my stomach.
And adding to my misery, there was another culprit keeping my eyes glued forward during lessons.
"......"
"......"
Lady Celine, who just stared daggers at me without a word.
Her detective-rabbit glare made eye contact impossible—I'd look guilty no matter what. So I just focused on the professor and powered through the morning.
"Class just ended for you too, right? Perfect timing—join me for lunch?"
Lady Celine tried cornering me at lunch to grill me on this mess, but the princess swooped in and shut it down. No chance to refuse; I got dragged to the cafeteria. She ordered me to sit without buying food, so I awkwardly plopped down at an empty table.
"Um... Your Highness? To eat, we need to get food from over—"
"No need. I brought ours."
With a signal, her personal maid appeared out of nowhere, basket in hand. She unpacked cute yet luxurious bento boxes—delicately for the princess, roughly for me. As her close aide, she knew the score, but clearly hated seeing her lady fake-date a nobody like me.
"Made these myself to share with you."
"...This?"
Fancy dishes worthy of a high-end restaurant. Hard to believe the princess whipped them up, but food's innocent—I dug in. Worried she might have that heroine cooking-curse, but nope: visuals matched the taste. Surprisingly delicious. I scarfed down her handmade lunch until I was stuffed—
"Good, huh? Enjoying grub from a pretty girl?!"
"Nah, it's just surprisingly tasty..."
"Haa... what an idiot..."
That evening, heading back to the dorm, Lady Celine grabbed me and chewed me out. Fed and cursed—balanced diet. I'd live forever, probably.
She ranted about how great the princess's embrace must feel. I spilled the truth in secret; after some thought, she understood and agreed to help.
Grateful for her backup, I sent up my first post-reincarnation prayer of thanks to the gods.
The gods are dead.
Goddesses are gods.
Thus, goddesses are dead.
"What kind of blasphemy is that?!"
The religious nut next to me yammers, but it falls on deaf ears.
Their UFC-level aura brawl was too much; I bolted to the clubroom. The saintess was praying inside, but it wasn't off-limits—I'd just hide quietly.
"I heard the rumors. Not satisfied with one, you snagged two hearts then ran? Compared to someone, you're worlds apart."
Shut up, lady. And the comparison's off—better than that dense guy blind to three girls' interest.
"Hah, I don't get it. Lady Celine, now even the princess... What does he have that wins them over...?"
The princess was fake-dating me, but Lady Celine's reaction surprised me. Yesterday, when I confessed our contract, I figured she'd mediate if bullies targeted me. Instead, she declared in front of everyone she'd claim me.
"This guy's one I scouted. Saw potential in his swordsmanship—planned to recruit him as a knight under our house. You can't just steal him like this."
Ooh. Solid excuse. I had talent (unshown), and her "protesting a talent poach" act was chef's kiss.
...It was acting, right?
"Ho? My future husband has such talent? Makes me fall even deeper."
"I wouldn't know why a princess clings to a guy like this, but if you're blackmailing him, stop. It's not even real affection..."
"...Your resolve intrigues me more about him. Does a woman need a reason to like a man?"
"People have matching levels. Like storks and sparrows can't pair up—better face reality. Don't you think it's a waste for someone like Your Highness? Duke's houses or foreign royals would beg for the match."
I swear I saw her grit her teeth. Touchy subject sparked an instinctive backlash.
When Lady Celine grabbed my hand to drag me off, the princess slapped it away with uncharacteristic menace.
"What do you think you're doing? Challenging a princess's authority?"
"Oh? No idea what you mean~ More actors mean more drama, right?"
"Kidnapping trauma's got you confused about your foes."
"Real fear makes weak threats feel tame~ Who's the kitten meowing~?"
Crushed by their auras, I slipped away in the chaos and holed up in our clubroom.
"Are you... some hidden royal bastard from another kingdom or something?"
Translation: "Without that pedigree, you shouldn't even look at women like them—how'd you snag this popularity?"
I shot the saintess a glare, but she played innocent, eyes closed in mock prayer.
"There you are! New dress just dropped—escort me shopping?"
"Found you! Date at that famous dessert spot now?"
They burst in, kicking the door. Shit! I snuck here unseen!
Scanning for the leak, I spotted a familiar communication stone glowing in the "praying" saintess's hand.
Damn you, saintess!
Dragged off again, I toured their whims till late night before release.
Days of sandwiching between them, drawing envy and jealousy from the masses. My mind and body wrecked, heaven dropped a bombshell surprise.
"Mars Noctus. Come with me. His Majesty's summons."
Haha, fuck. It'd finally arrived.