Berserker Gallery Revival Project: Day 4
It's day 4 of my grand "Berserker Gallery Revival Project" under the infamous auth girl Seola from Lord of the Warrior. The lofty name notwithstanding, I still hadn't produced any real results. Sure, over the past four days, I'd flooded the gallery with posts—tons of them. And not just any crap; I focused on super useful info posts for Berserkers. I poured every bit of know-how I had on the class into carefully crafted guides. But the results were abysmal.
I wrote a post called "Berserker Thumbs Up" and got buried in downvotes calling me a griefer. Then "Berserker Playstyle Pro Tips," and they hit me with downvotes again, labeling me a theorycrafter. At this point, the Berserker Gallery might as well be the Holy Knight Gallery—most gallery users had ditched Berserkers for Holy Knights. These people had zero interest left in Berserkers.
Posts like "Holy Knight Early Game Tips," "Pro Tips for Holy Knight Stats," "Skills Ex-Berserkers Switching to Holy Knight Need to Learn First," "Mei Narna Run Day 68," "Made a Berserker Rank 1 Mad Movie with Seola's 'That Moan.'" And so on. Dumping total unrelated garbage like that in a dead gallery? Posting info there was pointless. Ditching the job you loved for performance... filthy meta-chasers.
...I get it, though. Picking a class for the romance, then swallowing the red pill and switching to meta picks happens in every game, not just Lord of the Warrior. Plus, I'm the weird one who adapted freakishly well to Berserker. Yeah, it's objectively a trash class not worth the devotion.
Theoretically, Berserker is the strongest class. Right from game start, pop Berserk and you could theoretically solo dozens of scrubs. But that's just theory. The hallmark of "theoretical strongest"? It's the worst in practice. Take me: I popped Berserk, lost control of my emotions, and birthed the all-time black history of "That Moan."
No matter how I think about it, there's no answer. Not a single sign of revival. If the Berserker Gallery dies like this, the few remaining Berserker users will vanish too. No Berserker users means no interest in the class, no one knows about Berserk, and I'll forever be remembered as the moaning perv who wins fights. Community folks aren't idiots—they've all read the Berserk tooltip. But reading a skill description and feeling it firsthand? Totally different.
You gotta use Berserk yourself to get it. If even one or two users had reacted like me right after using it, things wouldn't have spiraled this bad. I scoured Berserker Berserk usage videos, but they were all useless: die in 1 second after activating, force-logout, groan "Ughhh" and pass out. That's it.
God, if someone would just pant like a dog after using it... Anyone like that out there? At this point, maybe I need to pull massive aggro. It's a dead gallery anyway—maybe if I shitpost aggro bait like these guys, they'll pay attention to me. Luckily, I've got titles: "Berserker Rank 1," "Fucking Disgusting Griefer," and "Star of That Moan." ...Not sure if that's "ticket power," but whatever.
So, I stopped anonymous posting. "Seola" was already burned, so I made a semi-fixed ID and started shitposting like a typical worthless Berserker Gallery user.
How to Pull Aggro, Chapter 1: Class Baiting.
Masterpiece. For someone like me whose hobby and daily routine is scratching players, tossing class-bait shitposts was child's play.
These were people who never even replied to my super useful info posts. Just a light scratch, and they react this beautifully. Should've done this from the start.
My shitposting continued after that.
Humans learn and grow. They raged hard at my class baiting at first, but soon pegged me as a braindead griefer and stopped replying entirely. Time for the next step.
How to Pull Aggro, Chapter 2: Authenticate.
No need for fancy prose or long rants. Short and sweet. I let everyone know I was the real Seola.
And wow. No one had impersonated me for aggro before, so comments poured in this time.
No one believed me, of course. I have a conscience—I didn't expect one post to make them buy it. Hope this auth becomes the revival signal.
Then I logged into the game, typed "BerserkerGalleryAuth" in chat, screenshotted roughly.
Boom. One minute after posting, it hit best, comments flying in seconds.
I'm the kindling. Light a fire under "Seola" kindling, and it'll blaze on its own, activating the gallery. Active gallery means more Berserker users, spreading my grievance across communities.
Rise up, Berserkers!
Ah, of course—not that my tits are water rockets.
Sentiment toward me tanked hard. Why? Why? I auth'd properly. No manipulation suspicions, everyone bought I was real Seola... Am I losing objectivity? Is "Seola's" value lower than I thought?
While groaning alone in confusion, one post caught my eye.
One thing I overlooked: These fuckers are just insane. I'd committed the fatal sin of authenticating to dopamine-crazed lunatics with a boring game screenshot click.
Titty selfie? Fine, you pervs. Nothing left to lose now. My pics are all over town already—I can snap titty selfies all day.
For a split second—just a fleeting moment—I wondered if I really had to go this far. But I steeled myself. Yeah, I plan to stream for a living going forward. To avoid perv treatment, I must activate Berserker Gallery and snag gallery lord spot.
This is necessary. I grabbed a marker from my desk, wrote "Seola" on my tits, snapped a pic making sure they showed nice—
Not fully stripped, mind you—and posted it. Then quietly shut off the internet.
Couldn't bear to check comments. Even I know the feeling of shame.