Cursed, So I'll Take It
“Hey, I’m gonna die in a hundred days.”
Pffft.
The ridiculous declaration from my childhood friend, the former Saintess, made me spit out my drink. This girl had always been a bit off, with her weird personality, but hearing her casually announce her own death was so absurd that water dribbled straight down my chin.
“What the hell kind of nonsense is—”
“I’m dying. For real.”
Irene Luten sat there as if it were nothing, sipping her coffee while the breeze tossed her blue hair. Her white veil and dress fluttered along with it, and the sight was so breathtakingly beautiful that it really did suit a Saintess.
I couldn’t tell if Irene was completely serious or if she was just messing with me for fun.
She gazed up at the bright blue sky filled with pure white clouds, her grey eyes full of quiet longing as she drank her coffee.
“Hey, you’re the Saintess… What do you mean you’re going to die within a hundred days…?”
Irene was the Saintess. The one with the highest divine power and authority in the entire Holy Order, second only to the Pope. Even as a high-ranking Holy Knight, I normally wouldn’t have been allowed to sit across from her like this, one-on-one.
The only reason we could relax together on a cafe terrace, casually drinking like this, was simple.
“Morris… It’s going to be really awkward if even my childhood friend doesn’t believe me.”
Because we were childhood friends. If I had to put it in guy terms, we were basically balls-to-the-wall close—friends since birth, the kind who knew every single corner of each other’s lives.
“By the authority of the Saintess, I command you to believe me!”
Irene said it in a playful tone. I let out a sigh and decided to just go along with it. The difference in our authority was that big.
We’d joined the Order on the same day, but this talented bastard had been blessed with overwhelming divine power and became the Saintess. I’d clawed my way up to high-ranking Holy Knight through pure sweat and effort.
The gap between genius and hard work extended all the way to authority, so when this girl gave an order, I had no choice but to listen.
“Yeah, yeah, I believe you…”
Of course, exactly how far I was willing to believe her was a special privilege that only her childhood friend got to enjoy.
“Ugh, you really don’t believe me at all, do you?”
Irene looked at me with disappointed eyes.
“Well, obviously. You suddenly tell me you’re dying in a hundred days. How am I supposed to believe that?”
“I guess that makes sense. There’s no proof. Should I show you something?”
The Saintess, Irene, snapped her fingers. A circle of blue light formed around me like a crown of thorns, then began to glow and projected something right in front of my eyes.
Saintess Irene — D-100 Until Death
“…What the hell is this?”
“What do you mean, what is it? It’s my Life Information, summoned with divine power. I pulled it straight from what God told me.”
“Even for a Saintess… aren’t you on way too casual terms with God? How am I supposed to believe this is really a message from Him?”
Am I not God?
“…”
Ah. Yes. I see.
You’re God. Right. I believe you. I mean, I’m a member of the Order that worships You, so of course I’ll believe it.
The text faded, and new words appeared on the screen.
By the way, you’re dying in 100 days too.
“?”
What the hell is this supposed to mean?
God, what exactly are You doing right now?
My childhood friend is going to die in a hundred days, and now You’re telling me I am too?
Isn’t this just a scam artist pretending to be God?! Why does everything coming out of this thing sound like complete bullshit?!
Your life force is tied to Irene’s. Also, if you tell anyone about this—directly or indirectly—you’ll be instantly killed, so watch your mouth. Bye lol.
The screen vanished. The text disappeared, and the blue crown of thorns that had been surrounding my body faded away as well.
I sat there completely stunned, staring at Irene.
She was looking up at the sky with misty eyes, as if she couldn’t find the words to say anything.
I had a mountain of things I wanted to argue about. A flood of questions I wanted to ask.
“What the hell is going on?”
“It just turned out that way.”
“‘It just turned out that way’ doesn’t explain a damn thing. What exactly did you do to make God give you a trial like this?”
“That’s probably because…”
Right then, Holy Knights suddenly stormed the cafe terrace. A group of massive, fully armed knights rushed in and surrounded us.
“W-what the—?! Who are you people?! What unit are you from?! How dare you surround us like this?!”
“High-ranking Holy Knight Morris Eugene, sir, please remain calm. We are not here for you.”
One of the knights stepped forward. He was one of my juniors.
Older than me, actually.
The junior gave me a polite salute, then drew his sword.
“We are here for the Saintess.”
The blade was immediately pointed at Irene. The other knights followed his lead and leveled their weapons at her as well.
But Irene simply closed her eyes and kept sipping her coffee, as if she had been expecting this all along.
“For Irene…? Don’t you know that treating the Saintess this way is a sin?!”
“That would only apply if she were still the Saintess.”
If she were still the Saintess? What the hell does that—
“Ah, Morris. I forgot to tell you.”
Irene finished her coffee, let out a small sigh, and looked at me with a bitter smile.
“I killed the Pope.”
*
“…”
“…”
The verdict handed down by the Holy Court was surprisingly clean.
Although the accused was found to have killed the Pope, the evidence was insufficient. Objectively and logically, a direct causal relationship could not be established.
Furthermore, executing a Saintess who communes with God by human hands was deemed highly inappropriate.
Therefore, the death penalty was not issued. Only the revocation of the Saintess title and a sentence of exile were imposed.
Even though she had killed the Pope, there apparently hadn’t been enough evidence, and the causal links didn’t quite add up if you looked at it rationally.
Besides, killing a Saintess who could speak directly with God must have felt too uncomfortable for them to actually go through with an execution.
So instead of death, they stripped her of her title and sent her into exile…
“Then why the hell am I being exiled too…?”
I was currently riding along with Irene to her place of exile.
The carriage was loaded with supplies for banishment, and the two of us sat alone as it carried us toward our new prison.
In effect, I had been demoted right alongside her. The reason was simple: I was her childhood friend, and we were unusually close.
And since someone had to take responsibility for failing to protect the Pope, I—a former high-ranking Holy Knight—was chosen as the example and sent into exile with her.
Whatever the official excuse, it all came down to the fact that I was Irene’s childhood friend.
Well, I didn’t particularly mind helping a friend who had fallen on hard times.
In fact, I thought it was the natural thing to do.
We’d been friends for a long time, after all.
But.
“Irene, why did you kill the Pope?”
“…I don’t remember.”
Irene refused to explain why she had killed the Pope.
Or rather, she couldn’t explain it.
From the moment the verdict was handed down until now, as we headed into exile, she hadn’t said a single word about it. Whenever I asked, she dodged the question.
Maybe she thought I would hate her if she told me the real reason?
“Then at least explain why I’m cursed to die together with you.”
“…I don’t know that either.”
She didn’t know anything. It was frustrating. I couldn’t tell if she was deliberately acting like this or if she genuinely had no memory of it.
I kept pulling on the reins and let out a long sigh. Irene, who now only had her white veil as a remnant of her Saintess status, sighed as well.
“…Do you hate me now? Are you disappointed?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Because I keep saying I don’t know anything.”
“…You really don’t remember?”
“Yeah. I really don’t remember anything. How it happened, why it happened… nothing at all…”
So she truly had no memory of it. It really was an unavoidable situation.
I let out a deep sigh, set the reins down for a moment, and gently stroked Irene’s blue hair. She leaned her head against my shoulder as if my touch was welcome, quietly enjoying the soft caress.
“Then I guess that’s how it is.”
“…You really believe me?”
“We’ve known each other for over twenty years. After building that much history and trust, there’s no reason for me not to believe you.”
“Then… you don’t hate me? Even though you’re going to die because of me?”
“…I don’t hate you.”
I cupped Irene’s cheek in my hand.
“But thinking that our lives got tangled together for no reason at all is starting to piss me off, you know?”
I gave her cheek a firm tug. It was soft and squishy.
“Euuueh! Sthop ith, you idioooot!!!”
“Shut up, dumbass! How am I supposed to feel good when I’m going to die in a hundred days because of you?!”
“I shaid I can’th help ith!!”
“Can’t help it my ass! You say you don’t even know the reason—does that excuse even make sense?!”
I tugged on her cheek a little more before finally letting go. Irene rubbed her stinging face, eyes glistening with tears.
“Sigh. I have no idea how I ended up tied to you like this.”
“…I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. We’re both going to die in a hundred days anyway. Might as well just accept it.”
“…That easily?”
Hearing that we only had a hundred days left felt both far away and terrifyingly close at the same time. It left a bitter taste in my mouth. But the water had already been spilled. No matter who spilled it, there was no putting it back in the cup.
I still had no idea who had actually done it. The only thing I knew was that the unlucky person standing next to the culprit had been Irene.
So when I asked who was responsible and she said she didn’t know, it just made me angry.
But getting any angrier would only make our upcoming exile together uncomfortable, and it wouldn’t change the fact that we were both going to die in a hundred days.
So I decided to just accept it.
Everyone dies eventually. Might as well live young and die young.
“Doesn’t it bother you?”
“What?”
“That you’re going to die without experiencing so many things.”
“…I’ve already experienced plenty.”
I had risen to the rank of high-ranking Holy Knight at a young age. I had even participated in elite monster subjugation campaigns.
I had tasted honor. I had known glory. I had lived a life that came with appropriate rewards. It was a life that I could accept dying after in a hundred days.
But Irene seemed to want a different answer. Her eyes darted around before she bit her lip and asked,
“Even though you’re going to die without ever being with a woman?”
“What the hell, kid?”
Where the hell did that provocation come from all of a sudden? And why was her face turning bright red? Was it because she had never made jokes like this before? It was ridiculous. Was she going all out now that she was about to die? A dry laugh escaped me.
“…Yeah, it bothers me! Dying a virgin! Happy now?!”
So I decided to go all out too. She had provoked me first—let’s see what kind of reaction she gives.
“Never getting to touch a woman’s tits, never getting to suck on them, never getting to fuck—having to die in a hundred days without any of that is seriously such a damn shame!”
There. Satisfied? Now shut up. I can accept that we’re going to die, but if you keep messing with me about being a virgin, I won’t stay quiet.
But Irene just hung her head. Did I say something she really couldn’t handle?
Good. My attack landed perfectly. She probably won’t bring it up again.
“…I’m not a Saintess anymore.”
“That’s true.”
“…So I don’t have to protect my virginity anymore.”
“…?”
What the hell is she suddenly talking about? Where is this going?
“It feels unfair that you’re going to die because of me…”
Irene grabbed my arm and pressed my hand against her own breast. Her face was flushed crimson as she spoke.
“Do you… want to take my virginity?”
?
Excuse me?