Something Is Seriously Wrong Here......? (1)
The Crown Prince's Palace.
The Crown Prince lifted his head, looking genuinely surprised.
"Really? So in the end, the Blue Faith chose different knights?"
At those words, his personal attendant shot him an apologetic, sidelong glance. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined that Isaac would pass over the knights the Crown Prince himself had sent and pick a different team instead.
But what was truly baffling was the Crown Prince's reaction.
Why?
Why do you think!
'He's practically telling them to openly help the Blue team.'
It was true that the Imperial Knights had been dispatched to keep watch over the Papal Court, but who could have guessed that, entirely separate from that mission, His Highness would take such a personal interest in Isaac?
'I don't see how the Blue Faith is going to be of any use to the palace, though.'
But an order was an order.
And so it seemed the Imperial Knights had been quietly waiting, standing by until young Lord Isaac deigned to choose them. Even after the Gold team had been selected, the very best of their elite had been scattered among the other groups, left available for Isaac to pick.
And then he had gone and kicked every last one of those elites to the curb......!!
Which left the attendant with no choice but to say what he said next.
"Perhaps... young Lord Isaac's judgment simply isn't what Your Highness believes it to be. With all due respect, I think you may have overestimated him."
"Allen. The knight we sent to the Gold Pentagon this time, Sir Xylon — he's an accomplished unit commander and a first-rate fighter, but the truth is, he's half Spirit."
"I'm sorry — what?"
"It means he's vulnerable to demonic mana. Weak against demons."
"What?!"
The attendant nearly leapt out of his skin. The knight who had come along to deliver the report felt his jaw drop clean open.
"He was... a half-Spirit this whole time?"
"We've been with him every single day and none of us ever noticed."
"More importantly, for someone to even be half-Spirit at all......"
Well, it wasn't exactly a secret. In fact, Xylon himself would have been perfectly happy to tell anyone who asked — yet somehow nobody had ever caught on. That was precisely why the imperial family had asked him to keep it quiet......
"And if Isaac knew all of that, and deliberately chose the Vagrant team anyway? Now that would be extraordinarily interesting."
The Crown Prince's eyes glittered, but the attendant and the knight merely exchanged glances.
No way. There was simply no chance of that.
Put it this way: if Isaac really had known all that and picked them regardless, he would already be far beyond an ordinary person. It would mean he possessed the discernment of a Pope.
"On the other hand, the Vagrants are half-demon blood to a man. Their leader in particular carries the blood of a high-rank demon — he could never be poisoned by demonic mana, no matter how much of it swirled around him."
"......!"
"In any case, the Imperial Knights would have been a genuine asset to the Blue team. Yet he chose the Vagrants instead. Could it be that he doesn't just intend to rescue the hostages — that he plans to fight the demons head-on himself?"
That sent the attendant and the knight into an even deeper chill.
'Does he have any idea what kind of demons they were fourteen years ago?! There's no catching them. None.'
That was prey that even high-ranking paladins had to gamble their lives against.
"At best, they'll come back carrying the keepsakes of the abducted paladins. That's the ceiling of what they'll manage."
"Agreed. On paper, the Vagrants would be an overwhelming hand to play... but they can't be handled. You're well aware of their 'habits,' aren't you, Your Highness?"
Those men were dogs who would pick a priest's pockets clean and then hurl him straight into a demon's den.
"Haaah. Which is exactly why I told him to wait and leave once his imperial uniform was finished."
The truth was, the moment Isaac had chosen his knights and tried to march straight out the door, the attendant had thrown himself at the boy in desperation to stop him.
"M-My lord Isaac?! Please, take the imperial uniform with you! What could possibly be so urgent?!"
"You already measured me, didn't you? If you're not paying me, I'm leaving."
Setting aside the sheer gall of this tiny brat's manners toward the imperial attendant — money?!
"Well, at the very least, if those thieving Vagrants see priests wearing imperial livery, even they won't dare rough them up carelessly."
There had been a very good reason to make him take the clothes. That little wretch.
"Take them! Otherwise those Vagrant dogs will look all the way down on you!"
"Eh, I don't need any of that."
Don't need—?! You cursed little—!
In the end, the attendant could see exactly how this would go, sighing and shaking his head.
"By now they've probably already been chewed up by the Vagrants and are sleeping in some gutter."
Yes... surely that was it.
The royal messenger who had been dispatched to follow Isaac's party thought the same thing.
Yes. That was certainly what he'd believed......
So what... what was this......?
A village near the border of the Holy Empire.
The messenger who had caught up with Isaac's party was in the middle of a full-scale earthquake of the pupils. An utterly absurd scene was unfolding right before his eyes.
"Now, repeat after me, loud and clear. I am!"
"I am......!"
"A son of a bitch lowlife!"
"A s-son of a bitch lowlife!"
"I can't hear you. Again!"
"I aaaam!"
"A dirty, rotten, dog-bastard lowlife!"
"A dirty, rotten, dog-bastard lowlifffeeee......!!"
Up in the tree, the messenger's eyes were shaking violently.
What is this.
Why — no matter how many times he blinked and looked again — why were... the village thugs standing there stark naked, receiving re-education from a tiny little priest?
Five of them squatting and rising in unison, a massive log balanced across their shoulders, in front of a platinum-blonde child......
"Hey! You, over there! The log is tilted! Are you going to do it properly or not?!"
"We're... we're short-staffed as it is... hck!"
"No, could you at least give us some clothes?! It's hard to focus with everything just... hanging there......"
"No! You lowlives! I already traded every last stitch for candy!"
"Why would you trade our clothes?!"
"Why? What did you just say? Whose fault is it that you've got no money in your wallet? Being broke is your fault!"
...The priest. Is shaking down. Extortion money?
But what was even more mind-breaking were the thugs currently being drilled by Isaac himself.
Gritting their teeth, they whispered among themselves.
"Hey...... what the hell! This isn't what we agreed!"
"Why are we the ones... damn it all!"
Right. This was never the plan.
'All we had to do was take their money and their stuff......!'
The Pentagon trials of the Hella priests were famous everywhere. In a village sitting right on the Holy Empire's border, they were more than well known — and last evening, the village thugs had received a surprisingly juicy commission at the tavern.
"Around midday tomorrow, a group of Papal Court apprentice priests will pass through here — with a platinum-blonde little brat among them."
Going by his bearing, he'd been a courier-class paladin. But what he said next was strange.
"Teach those brats a lesson — nothing too rough — and take every coin they carry, plus anything that can be turned into coin."
"Do it well, and you get half the take."
Pffah! Now THAT'S what I call a windfall!
Apprentice priests on their Pentagon trials were, almost without exception, hot-blooded young noble brats who knew nothing of the world. And since they'd be out representing the Papal Court, they'd be duty-bound to act the righteous priest's part.
Better yet, it was the Blue Faith — faith for the weak and downtrodden! Raised on chivalric virtue, saints-in-training, the lot of them. An even easier mark!
'Grab one of the little ones, throw a bit of a scare into them, and they'd hand over everything they've got.'
They weren't the type to let banditry slide right in front of their eyes, either, which made it even better.
And then......
"Ah, I'm going to go eat. Don't block the road, move, you degenerates."
He's ignoring us?! A priest is walking right past a robbery happening in front of his own eyes—?!
So they'd switched tactics and gone the blackmail-and-intimidation route.
You know the one. The classic 'oops, we bumped into each other and now my clothes are dirty, my shoulder's hurt, pay up' routine.
Ordinary priests would write it off as bad luck, hand over some coin, and walk away — especially wealthy young nobles on a pilgrimage. That's just how it went.
Yes... that's how it should have gone......
"You sons of bitches bumped into ME first and you won't apologize?! HUH?! I broke my arm bumping into you lot! How do you plan to take responsibility?! HUH?!"
Why did he pull out a weapon like he'd been waiting for this?!
And why — why — was the weapon a baby's rattle?! Damn it!
What came after hardly bears telling.
Figuring there was nothing to fear from a brat waving a rattle, they'd swung their fists — and some invisible something had come down on them with ruthless, merciless force. Then, while they were still reeling, the little demon had batted his eyes, claimed his shoulder had been dislocated, and stripped them of their clothes. And now here they were.
"Alright, lowlifes. No money, huh? Then don't go around bumping into people. You broke MY arm! Like THIS! And now you're telling me you have no money? No. Money?"
Nothing's broken, you little shit......
Have some conscience and stop swinging that rattle with the arm you claim is shattered.
Meanwhile Isaac, in the middle of re-educating the thugs, was grinning with an expression of pure fiendish delight.
'Ha. To think I, the Skeleton Demon King, would live long enough to be shaken down for lunch money.'
He knew priests got treated like suckers, but how exactly did wearing a priest's robe make someone a target for extortion?
'You know what? Even the gods never dared to shake ME down. And now, of all things — where'd these bastards even crawl out from?!'
[Perhaps you simply weren't worth extorting?]
Get lost?!
[You did look rather destitute......]
Shut it!
Well. In any case, he knew all too well how easily a newly reincarnated body became prey. So he'd taught them a lesson. Using Shuri, that is.
Of course, he'd lent a small helping hand — snaring the thugs' ankles with Whisper, invisible to their eyes, toppling them over, and seasoning them just right for the beating.
But for all his generous stage-setting, the Blue team, ignorant of the favor they'd been shown, were clutching their faces in agony.
Well, they couldn't help it.
'Damn it...... so THIS is what he was like back in the Empire. He was the tame version?'
So this is his true nature.
The moment he steps out of the Empire, it all comes pouring out.
But what could he do about it now that he'd noticed? He was the older cousin. Someone had to handle him with a firm but gentle hand.
Right. As his senior, it was his job to instill discipline!
"Isaac...? We're still representing the Papal Court and the Blue Faith. And the Blue Faith — attacking people is......"
"Cousin. Are creatures who covet what belongs to others even people? Or beasts?"
"...Beasts."
"Beasts only understand when it's taught with their bodies. There. All sorted now, right?"
...Is anything about this sorted?
"Ha, look at these brats. How many kids' allowances must they have stolen to be this flush with cash? Puhet!"
...Is anything about this SORTED?!!
And sure enough.
A stir rippled through the surroundings.
"Th-those children... aren't they priests of the Blue Faith?"
"The Blue Faith... is shaking people down...? Extorting them?"
At the sound of those murmurs, Shuri felt an overwhelming urge to drive his skull into the nearest tree.
Only after the Blue team had dragged Isaac away by the collar did he finally stop.
"I think that's enough now, don't you?"
"Fine! We're holy priests! There are limits! What kind of priest shakes people down for lunch money on a pilgrimage?!"
When the Blue team — Shuri at their head — glared at him with bulging eyes, Isaac heaved a sigh.
"Well, if you insist. I'll give up on shaking them down."
Yes! That's it!
Finally, the little bastard has come to his sen—
"Village Chief. We caught these ruffians for you, didn't we? So why isn't there a reward? If you don't pay up, I don't think that's going to work out."
DAMN IT ALL!
Changing the target doesn't fix anything!
But the village chief, summoned by the commotion, only laughed heartily.
"You priests of the Blue Faith have brought peace back to our village — of course we'd offer that much at least. Money is beyond us, but we'll host you properly, as generously as we can."
Isaac smiled with deep satisfaction.
"Ah, then whose domain does this village fall under?"
"The, the lord's house? Why do you ask......"
"These shiftless layabouts lurking around? It's actually because a demon has latched onto the lord's castle. I'll exorcise it for you — so, care to pay a bounty?"
ISAAC!!!
How much more are you planning to squeeze out of these people?!
Shuri seized Isaac by the throat.
"You do NOT touch the nobility, you do NOT touch the—!!"
"Commoners are fair game, then?"
"...N-no, that's not— that's not the point!"
"Wow. How does a person even get like this. And you call yourself Blue Faith after that? Are you even human, cousin?"
Shuri felt his blood pressure climbing toward a collapse.
...Hearing that from anyone else would be bad enough, but from this bastard—?!
At the same time, the villagers began to stir.
"The Blue Faith priests say a demon's latched onto the village......"
"Can we trust that?"
"Well, the Blue Faith priests are trustworthy, at least......"
As the attention swelled around him, Isaac's eyes curved into delighted little crescents. Ah yes, the Saintess's bloodline! A good reputation really does pay dividends!
Back in my Demon King days, this NEVER happened!
Isaac let out a great, gleeful laugh — puhi-huhet!
"That's right! We are priests of the Blue Faith! The nagging deadbeats, the aching knees, everything — it's all because of the demon gathered right here! For a limited time, the priests of the Blue Faith will handle it all at a special low price! First hundred customers only!"
You little bastard! Don't sell the Blue Faith's name to fund your money-making scheme!!
Shuri buried his face in his hands.
"Ha... if the Papal Court hears about this, forget the Gold Pentagon. Forget Saint or anything else. Straight-up excommunication."
And there were shadows watching the whole spectacle unfold.
They were none other than the Vagrants — the very team scheduled to join forces with Isaac.
"...That's them, right? The Blue team we're supposed to be joining."
"Yeah......"
The Vagrants had reached the village first and made contact with its local toughs, ordering them to strip the incoming Blue team of every last coin.
Profit was profit, sure — but really, it had been about breaking their spirit. The surest way to strip a person of their sovereignty was to strip them of their economic power.
That was the order their leader had given. Just like he always had.
Yes... and yet......
"...What the hell is that."
Somehow......
It felt like they'd just hooked themselves a properly deranged one.