Are You Out of Your Mind? (1)
Murmur, murmur.
A ripple of commotion swept through the Papal Court's banquet hall.
The vast hall was filled not only with priests but also nobles and knights of every stripe. Yet all of them, as if under a spell, had turned their gaze toward one single spot.
The team of Blue.
Of course, being the center of attention was a good thing. For the Saint candidate, it was a path to the papacy; for ordinary priests, it was tied to their rise through the ranks.
Yes, it was a good thing, and yet……
"Did you hear? The mission assigned to Team Blue this time?"
"Good grief… sending apprentices to the Magic Empire wasn't enough, now they're telling them to rescue captured holy knights?"
"Wow… how are apprentices supposed to pull that off? Gold is seriously trying to bury Blue."
"Apprentices? They'll have their heads lopped off by the mages before they even arrive……"
Son of a—!
Why did every last one of those looks scream pity, like they were offering condolences for the dead?! And why was there not a single soul who believed the mission would succeed?!
No, fine—he could have put up with the dirty looks alone.
"Oh no, what do we do! Not a single holy knight is coming with us!"
Yes. That was the real problem.
The Gold Pentagon was a mission that took them beyond national borders into dangerous territory. Which meant they needed an escort.
The moment you leave Hella, demons are crawling everywhere.
And it wasn't just demons.
The priests of the Hella Papal Court were famous across the entire continent. No, honestly—it was no exaggeration to say there wasn't a soul who hadn't heard of them.
A mere 6th-Tier clergyman was treated as an honored guest by whole nations, and 7th Tier or above? In the kingdoms, they received treatment reserved for the most distinguished of dignitaries.
Well, it was only natural. Hella was the mother church of the five major faiths rooted in the continent, and the primary institution that produced its priests.
Even the apprentices' Pentagon alone was famous enough that people in the farthest backwaters knew its name.
And that wasn't all.
It's also well known that more than half of those priests are sons of nobles.
…And what, you ask, does that mean?
Son of a—!
It means bandits set up camps specifically waiting to ransom them! They're kidnapping targets, is what that means!
Thanks to this, it had become customary for apprentices to undertake joint missions alongside holy knights.
Sure, they could hire common soldiers or mercenaries, but such a worldly practice would never be tolerated in the sacred Pentagon.
So we need to bring the best holy knights we can possibly get—and not a single one is coming, dammit!
Good knights, my ass!
"Damn it! Nobody's coming!! NOBODY!"
It was so blatant it was almost impressive—the way absolutely no one would join Team Blue.
And this Pentagon was no ordinary Pentagon, either.
It was a gathering of those destined to become the next Pope.
Because of that, interest was hotter than ever—active-duty holy knights and senior knights bringing along their juniors, familiar famous faces appearing left and right……
"Damn it. They're avoiding us so obviously it hurts."
"…Not a single young lady has come by either."
"I went to greet a holy knight I knew earlier, and he started edging away from me."
And into that situation, one man seethed with righteous fury.
"What a pack of pathetic cowards. Why won't anyone come to OUR team?"
At Isaac's complaint, the entire Blue team could only clutch the backs of their necks.
Would YOU come?
Would you?!
Unable to grab Isaac by the collar, the Blue team simply buried their faces in their hands.
"The rumor's already spread far and wide…. Everyone knows this is a mission you go to die on."
Holy knights, in the end, were men with ambitions of their own.
The better a priest they assisted performed in the Pentagon, the better evaluations the knights themselves received, paving their road to promotion.
Naturally, everyone wanted to pick a winning ticket. Who on earth would volunteer to draw the booby prize?
But Isaac only looked more baffled than ever.
"If you cooperate on a high-difficulty test, you get bonus credit. Why won't they come?"
The Blue team clutched their chests as if their throats had seized up.
Difficulty? YOU'RE lecturing us about DIFFICULTY?!
There are limits to difficulty, you brat! Who wants to go to the Magic Empire, land of mass murderers?!
"Good grief. What a spineless bunch."
THE ONLY ONE WITH GUTS STICKING OUT OF YOUR CHEST IS YOU, YOU LITTLE—!
But whether he knew it or not—probably not—
"Hey, why have you big brothers been making stuff all morning? Arts and crafts class? How admirable, trying to earn some pocket money?"
"We're writing our WILLS, you little monster!"
"Because of YOU! Because of YOU!!"
The Blue team was practically in tears as they prepared their keepsakes in the traditional Hella manner, while everyone around them mocked them openly.
Congratulations on going to hell, they said, all because you picked the wrong leader.
"…Damn it all. I have a baby at home who was born just recently."
The leader, Isaac, patted his team member's shoulder in apparent surprise.
"…Brother! I thought those wrinkles meant something, but you're married?! Congratulations!"
"BWAAAAAH! A sibling! A sibling!"
The team members stared at the ceiling, their souls visibly leaving their bodies.
"Doesn't your family say anything about this……?"
"Oh, there's chaos. They keep asking if Blue has lost its mind."
Most of the team members were children of noble houses.
Naturally, there had been protests. Of course, since most of them came from vassal families, they couldn't raise their voices too loudly against House Eshua—but still.
"In any case, the Duke says he wishes to speak with me……"
"Oh…? Must be nice. My family packed me a lunch box and said that even though she's young, our lady is Blue's heiress, so she must have everything thought out……"
At those words, the entire team fell silent, all eyes on Isaac.
Thought out…, is it.
"…Does THAT look like someone with a plan to you?"
Isaac was snickering—puhet, puhhhet-het—as he rifled through his packed luggage.
"Mines, mines, puhet-puhhit!"
…Does that little demon think he's going on a picnic or something……?
"Right, you're just a kid—you don't understand! What kind of place that is!"
The Magic Empire.
A nation bordering the lands of the demons; just as Hella raised priests, the Magic Empire raised mages.
And the priests who entered that place almost never came back alive. An armistice had finally been signed after hundreds of years of war, but they remained, for all intents and purposes, sworn mortal enemies.
That was the place by location alone—and what was that? They were saying a demon who had flipped the Gold Pentagon on its head fourteen years ago was out there?
"You don't even know what happened fourteen years ago, do you?"
"It's just a demon, right? Won't it be good training?"
Training… WHAT?!
"…That is NOT something you train on! It's a high-rank demon!"
But Isaac merely furrowed his brow.
High-rank demon or not, every one of them would be beneath me.
"Ugh, don't you even know that the genius uncle of your house is the only one who never took King in that event?!"
Genius uncle? Rillai?
"That's right! He deployed for the Gold Pentagon just like us, and back then, an entire team of his classmates was slaughtered! A demon who hunts young priests for fun! The very one your uncle has been hunting for fourteen straight years!"
If it's someone Rillai's been chasing, that'd make it 7th Tier or above?
Well, whatever kind of demon it was, this was actually a good opportunity. It was the Magic Empire, after all—he'd be free to test every spell the Holy Empire had forbidden him from using.
A chance to gauge just how far his current strength could carry him against gods and their cheap knockoffs.
And if the demon specifically hunted young priests, he had a fair idea of its temperament already.
He was starting to understand why the Pope had deliberately assigned this mission to Team Blue, too.
Humiliation?
Blue would be disgraced whether they gave up or not, but if they failed, it wouldn't end there.
It'll escalate into a question of whether House Blue even continues to exist.
The problem was that they'd handed that mission to the Skeleton Demon King—and the Skeleton Demon King did not fail.
If he succeeded, the ripple effects would be enormous. No one would dare look down on Blue again.
"Don't worry. Just trust me and follow along."
The team members pressed their hands to their foreheads.
Eventually, at Isaac's seemingly irresponsible words, Kina looked at him with thinly veiled contempt.
"You haven't thought this through, Eshua. A training trip, honestly."
At Kina's disappointed scolding, the team members' faces brightened.
"Yes, Kina! You tell him……"
"If you're going to train, you should bring me along. Why did you strike me from the team roster?"
At Kina's dead-serious expression, the team members tore at their own hair.
Ah. We're doomed.
This team is DOOMED!!!!
"No, no! Don't give up! We still have the holy knights!!"
"Right! Among the knights still unassigned, there's the 1st-Priority order!"
The Blue team members' eyes went wide as they looked toward where the knights were gathering.
Most of the knights mobilized for the Gold Pentagon were 2nd-Grade knights—seasoned with practical experience, well-versed in outside affairs. Perfect for escorting apprentices.
Most had already signed contracts, but four groups of knights remained unclaimed.
Group One was everyone's first choice—the Imperial Knights, renowned for both skill and prestige. With a commander-ranked knight among them and offers pouring in from all sides, they were the only group still unsigned for the Gold Pentagon.
Groups Two and Three were unremarkable but dependable 2nd-Grade knights.
And Group Four, astonishingly, included a single genius senior knight genuinely famous across the Empire……
Avoid that contract at all costs.
THAT group, above all, must be avoided!!
For good reason: Group Four had the best skills of all—but they utterly despised priests. Knights who wouldn't bat an eye if a priest died mid-mission.
In fact, there was a record of them abandoning their escort duty in a crisis, leaving the priests behind—and returning badly wounded themselves.
The worst possible partners for escort duty. Dead last in every preference ranking.
No idea why they're even here, though.
Going by their faces, they looked like they'd been dragged here against their will.
"Anyway, Group One! We absolutely must secure Group One——"
But at that very moment.
"Ah! Team Gold just locked them in!"
And what was even more shocking—who was it that had brokered that deal with the Group One knights?
"Isn't that Molech's father?! Count Molech!"
"Molech? THE Molech, from our team?!"
The very Molech who had tried to betray Shuri during Harmony, and who had tried to tattle on Isaac to the Saintess—and been thoroughly made to regret it.
"But why is someone from OUR team doing Team Gold a favor?!"
As if to answer that very question, a laugh rang out.
"Why do you think? Because that's the team I'm joining."
"Molech!"
Appearing alongside Count Molech, Molech smirked at Isaac and Shuri.
"You should have betrayed us back during Harmony, then."
"What did you say?!"
Standing beside his son, Count Molech clicked his tongue at Isaac.
"Blue must truly be in decline, sending their heir based on nothing but past glory."
Isaac looked at the man as if to say, who let this one out of the barn?
"I regret to inform you, but my son and his companions have withdrawn from Team Blue and will be joining Team Gold instead."
Ah-ha. So he brokered the Group One deal and stuffed his son into that team, did he?
The Papal Court had permitted it without a whisper of protest.
Well, that said plenty about how much of a benefactor Molech had become to Team Gold.
Sure enough, Molech was bowing and scraping before the Gold team, apparently covering every last expense of their Gold Pentagon out of pocket.
Hm. Their house must have considerable pull.
Plenty of influence to whip the nobles into a frenzy and manufacture public opinion, at least.
But Isaac simply smirked.
"You've made a miscalculation, Count. If we succeed and come back, you'll be the one in the doghouse."
Count Molech sneered at him.
What else would you expect from the Saintess's house, where muscle outranks brains.
"You truly believe that's possible? The nobility is already preparing Blue's funeral as we speak."
He stripped the members from Team Blue with the smugness of a man savoring his triumph. As their numbers dwindled in an instant, the remaining Blue vassals clutched their heads in despair.
"Damn it! Then the backup plan! We have to secure someone from 2nd Priority! No—3rd Priority will do!"
"Anything but 4th!"
Soon, the call went out from the front.
"Any team that has not yet contracted with a knight group, come forward!"
"Ah. I'll handle this. Just trust me."
The team members looked at Isaac with desperate hope.
"Ohhh yes! The power of Blue's direct bloodline!"
"Right, Groups Two or Three! Make them take us!"
When Isaac finally finished negotiating with the Papal Court official, the official's eyes went wide as saucers as he shouted:
"Team Blue has been assigned to Group Four!"
The Blue team cheered.
"Yes, that's it! Group Four……"
…Wait. Group Four?
At those words, the entire banquet hall erupted into commotion.
The Blue team froze solid.
Group Four?
You mean THAT group—the genius holy knights who despised priests so thoroughly they'd dump you mid-mission and walk away?
Yes, their skills were coveted by all, and having them would be the best outcome imaginable—but, well.
That group that no one could control, the one with the personality disorders? The ones even the Knight Commander and the Papal Court had written off? The problem children?
"…Seriously?"
Isaac smirked.
Ah. So that's why they called them geniuses.
Picking out the finest holy knights in the land? For the eyes of a Demon King, that hardly counted as work.
"They say that group has the best skills of anyone here. Good job, me."
HEY!!!!!!!!