The Art of Self-Destruction
When Cain got angry, the giants were flustered.
"Why is that tiny thing so mad?"
"Probably because we treated the food carelessly."
"But those are just rocks."
"What does that tiny thing even do anyway?"
"They say he's Aykisus's Slave."
"...So he's a nobody?"
"Slaves are weak. He is weak. Giant smart. Giant can use syllogism."
Tremble, tremble! Cain shook with rage.
Who did I go through all this trouble for?! In reality, it was because of Tae-hyun, but in Cain's mind, it was entirely the giants' fault. It's your fault for living near a dungeon like this!
"You bastards! Follow me to the clearing! A one-on-one duel!"
"Ha! Tiny thing. We will show you the strength of a giant—"
Five minutes later.
"Gasp! Slave is strong!"
"Slave is incredibly strong!!"
The giants were shocked. Cain had actually won the one-on-one duel against a giant.
You have defeated a Flower of the Desert Giant Tribe Warrior in a 1v1 duel!
Your reputation with the Flower of the Desert Giant Tribe has increased!
"You punks!"
Cain puffed his chest out in triumph. The giants admired him, showering him with praise.
"Slave is strong!"
"I know! Praise me more!"
"Slave. Eat this. A warrior like you deserves to eat this."
◈ A wriggling desert delicacy. Highly prized by giants.
"..."
"It's a delicacy. Slurp."
"N-No, if it's such a delicacy, you guys should..."
"Slave is kind-hearted too."
"A noble warrior. We can yield that much to a noble warrior. We have our pride."
"The Avatar will feed us anyway."
"..."
Meanwhile, Tae-hyun was grabbing the giant warriors one by one and tossing the rock rice cakes into their mouths.
"D-Delicious!"
"Delicious! Delicious!"
Phew. At least I don't have to worry about food anymore.
Tae-hyun breathed a sigh of relief. Giants ate an astronomical amount of food. If he had to prepare separate rations for them, it would have been an immense hassle.
"Ooooh! I feel the power of magic!"
"?!"
A giant warrior has consumed <Akisus's Primitive Magic Dish>!
They can now use <Akisus's Primitive Magic>!
Giant shamans were an extremely rare class. Shamans and mages generally required a decent amount of intelligence, and giants were a race that would rather swing a club one more time than spend time thinking. To think such warriors could use magic!
"Look at this! Aaaaaaargh!"
A giant warrior uses <Akisus's Primitive Magic - Sonic Wave>!
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom!
A massive wave of sound erupted from the warrior's mouth. Like Jeong Su-hyeok, he was a barbarian warrior using randomized magic, but this was far cruder and infinitely more powerful. While they couldn't use as wide a variety of spells as Jeong Su-hyeok, they could unleash a few limited spells with devastating force, backed by their giant strength!
"Magic is fun! I want to use more! Give me your food!"
"No! This is my food!"
"Hmph! Aaaaaargh!"
"Argh!"
The giant warriors were already using their newly learned magic to beat up their own kin. Watching this, Tae-hyun had a sudden epiphany.
Feed the giant warriors quickly → Have them collectively cast Akisus's primitive magic → A giant magic legion!
Not bad. They might be hard to control, but their raw firepower would be absolutely explosive. And since when did Tae-hyun ever care about having easily controlled subordinates? He always looked for raw power and high damage first!
"Dammit! What kind of pathetic trick is this?!"
The members of the Guild Alliance fumed with rage. The Power Warrior Guild and the Mechanical Engineering Blacksmiths truly possessed a divine talent for driving people absolutely insane.
Using a carriage loaded with bombs as a trap was only the beginning. On the next carriage, they had actually hung a banner that read: [The Real Gold Carriage]. When the Guild Alliance ignored it out of sheer annoyance, the blacksmiths kept their distance, opened the carriage doors to show that it actually was filled with gold, and then ran away.
It felt like they weren't trying to win the game, but were solely focused on making their opponents as miserable as possible!
If it were just petty tricks, they could have endured it. But after provoking them like this, the blacksmiths would ambush them with all kinds of booby traps. Traps littered the roads as a matter of course.
The absolute highlight was when they planted explosives under a bridge spanning the river in front of a village. The moment the Guild Alliance members stepped onto it, the Mechanical Engineering Blacksmiths blew the bridge to smithereens without a single shred of hesitation.
The Guild Alliance was utterly dumbfounded.
"You crazy bastards! What the hell are you doing?!"
"This is your territory! Who the hell blows up a bridge in their own territory?!"
It was a sturdy, expensive stone bridge. To destroy something like that... the bridge itself was worth far more than any gold they could plunder from the village. From the Guild Alliance's perspective, it was completely absurd!
But the Mechanical Engineering Blacksmiths remained resolute.
"For the sake of our goal, sacrifices must be made!"
"That's right! To stop the invaders, we must be willing to carve away our own flesh!"
Of course, the ones whose flesh was being carved away weren't the Mechanical Engineering Blacksmiths. Nor was it Tae-hyun.
The lord, Count Bolone, is furious at your demolition!
Your Infamy has increased!
Count Bolone's soldiers are pursuing you!
Count Bolone's...
...
To be precise, this wasn't Tae-hyun's fief, but the territory of a local noble NPC. Blowing up a bridge on a whim in such a place was enough to give the lord a stroke. What are these lunatics doing in the name of stopping invaders?!
"I heard there's a proverb in Lord Kim Tae-hyun's country, Korea."
"?"
"To burn down a three-room thatched cottage just to catch a bedbug!"
"Oh... what a wonderful proverb...!"
"A proverb meaning that even to catch a trivial bedbug, one must be prepared to burn down their own house."
The foreign Mechanical Engineering Blacksmiths were deeply moved by this solemn, resolute proverb. Of course, the Korean players were just utterly bewildered.
"Uh, no, that's not what that proverb means..."
"It's a proverb telling you not to do that..."
"Let's burn down the thatched cottage!"
"Burn the house!"
"Burn the village!!"
In a way, they were causing far more damage to the territory than the Guild Alliance. Thanks to them, the noble NPC lords and the Guild Alliance were the ones weeping tears of blood!
"Kill everything in sight! Summon all the Rogue players! Check every single trap!"
They mobilized all the trap-finding Rogues. Whenever a suspicious carriage approached, they bombarded it with ranged attacks first. They launched fireballs at every bridge and village entrance before even getting close.
As the Guild Alliance grew more obsessive, the Mechanical Engineering Blacksmiths matched their intensity. When it came to sheer stubbornness, these blacksmiths were second to none!
"Bomb! I found a bomb!"
"Where?!"
When a player ran up and shouted, the Guild Alliance members cried out in alarm. Where did those persistent bastards put one this time?!
"Right here!"
The player who ran up shouted, and then immediately self-destructed.
Kaboom!
"Seriously, you crazy bastards!!!"
The guild members screamed in agony. Please, just calculate the cost-benefit ratio and play like normal human beings!!!
There was nothing scarier in the world than someone with absolutely nothing to lose. And the engineering players truly had nothing to lose.
Infamy in other territories? They didn't care. They were going to stay in the Valley anyway.
Level loss or death penalties from self-destruction? They didn't care. As long as they had their engineering skills, they were fine. The only thing that mattered was how artistically they could blow themselves up!
It had reached a point where the Mechanical Engineering Blacksmiths were actively competing over who could pull off the most creative self-destruction. Simply disguising themselves and walking up to explode was no longer enough!
"Is... is that a bird?"
"Is it Superman?"
"No! That's... a crazy mechanical engineering blacksmith!"
The absolute peak of their artistry was a blacksmith who loaded himself into a catapult and launched himself into the air to self-destruct. It was a beautiful aerial suicide bombing, achieved through a triple-combination of mechanical wings, a mechanical parachute, and a mechanical bomb.
The other Mechanical Engineering Blacksmiths applauded, tears streaming down their faces.
"10 points...! 10 points!"
"An 11 out of 10!"
Despite suffering these absurd casualties, the Guild Alliance stubbornly pushed forward, systematically plundering the villages and hoarding gold. Although their losses were heavy, their gold reserves were steadily growing.
For Su Ning and the high rankers, there was no reason to back down. The ordinary guild members bore the brunt of the damage, while the profits flowed directly into the guild vaults.
And so, while both sides were locked in this relentless, agonizing war of attrition...
Tae-hyun returned.
On one side, the [Flower of the Desert Giant Tribe]. On the other side, the [Demon Legion].
Seeing Tae-hyun's uncanny ability to pick up NPCs like stray animals wherever he went, the players could only watch in awe.
"Can we eat them?"
"No."
"Tae-hyun, by the way..."
"Yeah?"
"When we set sail..."
When they had departed from the port of the Asbian Empire, an undead in the distance had shouted, Wait! Avatar of Archisus! I... I am a subordinate of the great Al-cough-cough!
Tae-hyun had pretended not to hear, but the rest of the party had heard it loud and clear!
"Wasn't that an emissary sent by... Alexeos?"
Since Tae-hyun had ignored him to the very end, Alexeos had resorted to sending an emissary!
"He said 'Al-cough-cough.' How was I supposed to know that was Alexeos from just that?" Tae-hyun said shamelessly.
Of course, shouting Alexeos's name in the middle of the Asbian Empire was practically shouting, I love dragons! Please kill me! Knowing this, Alexeos's messenger had disguised the name as a cough...
"True, there was no way to know."
"Exactly. Who even is Al-cough-cough?"
Tae-hyun's party decided to play dumb. We have no idea who Al-cough-cough is!
Rumble—
Tae-hyun entered the capital. He planned to install the [Akisus's Primitive Magic Cauldron] in the plaza. He would feed a thousand players with a single loaf of bread!
But what caught Tae-hyun's eye was a long queue stretched out in front of the royal palace. And it wasn't a line of players, but of NPCs!
"What's that?"
"Nobles...?"
Fascinated by the line of NPCs, players had gathered around to watch.
"Whoa! That's Count Bolone's crest!"
"And that's Count Bonazo's crest!"
"This is so cool. I'm taking a picture. Do I look good?"
"You look great!"
"..."
The emissary NPCs sent by the noble houses wore extremely displeased expressions, but the players happily snapped photos anyway. This was a rare sight, after all!
"Why are they lining up?"
"Ah...! Tae-hyun. The territories near the northern border of the Atali Kingdom are currently being plundered. They probably sent emissaries because of that."
"Ah. Right. That was happening. Are they getting plundered a lot?"
An expectant question! Was he really their king?
"Everyone is trying their best to defend, but..."
"Damn it!"
"...Since the Guild Alliance's forces are so overwhelming, it seems they're continuously being looted."
"Phew."
"And the damage to the territories is apparently quite severe."
"The Guild Alliance destroyed the territories too? Are they insane? Did Su Ning change his class? To a bandit or a plunderer?"
Tae-hyun was puzzled. He knew Su Ning was desperate enough to bear the Infamy and all kinds of penalties, but was there really a need to destroy territorial facilities? That would only increase his own penalties.
Well, I suppose they destroyed them because they're part of my kingdom... but it's not like those are my personal fiefs anyway.
Unlike the Auston Kingdom, Tae-hyun didn't rule his kingdom directly. The nobles operated independently!
"Uh, actually... the ones who destroyed the territories were the Mechanical Engineering Blacksmiths."
"..."
The party suddenly fell dead silent.
"Well, when you're... when you're defending, things like that can happen."
"Yeah, exactly."
Cain and Choi Sang-yun hurriedly tried to make excuses. How were they going to salvage this atmosphere?
"Ah! Your Majesty!!"
Perhaps their conversation had been too loud, because the noble emissary NPC at the very back of the line turned around and spotted Tae-hyun.
"Your Majesty!!!"
"Why are you here?!"
"Why have you only arrived now?! Do you have any idea what is happening at the border?!"
"Some lunatics are blowing up our lands!"
"How can Your Majesty not be present when such a disaster is unfolding?!"
The noble emissaries swarmed him like a flock of angry hornets.
"...I'm not the king, though? You must have the wrong person," Tae-hyun lied shamelessly.
The party was dumbfounded. Who would ever fall for—
"..."
Supreme Eloquence has been activated...
...
"O-Oh, my apologies..."
"We must have mistaken you for someone else..."
That actually worked?!?!