A Glorious Mess
Regardless of Tae-hyun's guilt, the Demer priest continued to shower him with praise.
"The hero of the continent! The vanquisher of Sadiq!"
"A true paragon of virtue in this era, who selflessly steps forward to strike down monsters!"
Is this bastard doing this on purpose?
Tae-hyun felt a sudden pang of suspicion, but there was no malice in the Demer priest's eyes. Realizing this, Tae-hyun froze.
Wait... If he's praising me like this...
Treating him like a "hero who saves the continent" and waiting specifically for him could only mean one thing... They were definitely about to dump some incredibly difficult task on him!
Tae-hyun halted in his tracks.
"I just remembered a very urgent matter..."
"?!"
"I must be going. See you next time! Haha!"
"Ah, Count Kim Tae-hyun! Please, at least hear us out before you go!"
"It's really urgent!"
"Then I shall tell you on your way out! Priest Haron! Count Kim Tae-hyun is here!"
The Demer priest bellowed at the top of his lungs, his voice echoing through the halls of the church. Right on cue, Priest Haron came scurrying out from the inner chambers.
"..."
"Count Kim Tae-hyun! It brings me boundless joy to gaze upon your heroic countenance once again—"
"...What are you trying to make me do this time?"
His tone naturally turned blunt. Come to think of it, the last time the Demer Church summoned him, it was to defeat the God-Devouring Monster. Of course, Tae-hyun had made a killing back then, acquiring incredibly broken cheat skills... but any ordinary player would have died multiple times over. He had been dragged all the way to the Demon Realm to fight a God-Devouring Monster that was completely beyond the level of any player.
"O-oh, no, of course not. Why must you always think of us that way?"
"So you didn't call me here to dump a quest on me, is that it?"
"Well... it's not exactly like that... but... um... there is a small favor we would like to ask of the continent's greatest hero..."
Priest Haron reached out to grasp Tae-hyun's hands, but Tae-hyun coldly brushed him off.
"I knew it! You do want to make me do something! Look, the Demer Church is doing perfectly well, so handle your own business! Do you have any idea how hard things are for the Archisus Church lately? The Phytos Church and the other denominations won't stop breathing down our necks. On top of that, they just snatched away Carbanog's sacred relic!"
"What? They did such a thing? How utterly insolent of them!"
Tae-hyun smoothly slipped in a slanderous jab at the Phytos Church.
"The Demer Church never helps me, yet you always expect me to do your dirty work, huh?"
"W-we had no idea... How could we possibly know what the other churches are plotting?"
Judging by his reaction, it seemed all the other churches had banded together, excluding the Demer Church.
Well, the Demer Church is full of gentle, naive souls, so the others probably didn't even bother inviting them to their little coalition.
Even Tae-hyun had to admit they weren't the type to go along with such underhanded schemes.
"And this time, we did not summon you out of selfish greed, but for the peace and stability of the continent..."
"Ah, forget it. Right now, I need to focus on the stability of my own fief and church."
"Please do not say such things! We know those words do not reflect your true heart! A hero like Count Kim Tae-hyun would never—"
Your Reputation is too high.
Your accumulated achievements are too vast.
Priest Haron does not believe your humble words.
"..."
Tae-hyun stared at the message window in sheer disbelief. Seriously? You'll believe me when I scam you with a fake sacred relic, but you won't believe me now?
"Count Tae-hyun, this matter is actually related to a sacred relic of Archisus!"
"Huh?"
"We have found highly reliable records indicating the existence of an Archisus relic!"
Tae-hyun flinched. The Demer Church wasn't the type to lie about something like this. Usually, the only church that pulled scams like that was his own Archisus Church!
A real sacred relic?
Lately, Tae-hyun had been running ragged dealing with the bastards targeting him, which had forced him to put his class quests on the back burner. Under these circumstances, a relic quest that could grant him an Authority skill was an absolute godsend.
The only problem was...
Seeing how desperately they're calling for me, this quest is bound to be ridiculously hard...
Tae-hyun smacked his lips. The Demer Church was a major power in its own right. The fact that they were begging Tae-hyun for help meant the difficulty of this quest was off the charts. Unlike the previous encounter with the God-Devouring Monster, he had far fewer tricks up his sleeve this time.
Ugh... What do I even have left for burst damage? I couldn't get any Orihalcon, I can't use my trump card yet... Should I clear the 5th stage now? But doing that before resolving the issues with the other churches is a bit risky...
Tae-hyun was not the type of person to blindly rush into a difficult quest. He needed to have at least a basic plan of action! In that case...?
"Before I hear what this is about... it's going to be insanely difficult, isn't it?"
"Ah! How did you know? As expected of the hero who never hesitates to throw himself into the most perilous and challenging trials of the continent..."
"Cut the chatter. Anyway, it makes absolutely no sense for only the Demer Church and the Archisus Church to participate in such a difficult task. Let's drag the other churches into this too."
The water ghost strategy! Tae-hyun was recycling the exact same tactic he had used before. He could torment those obnoxious other churches while simultaneously creating a sturdy meat shield... The priests and paladins of the various churches made the absolute best tanks. Paladins were already incredibly durable with massive HP pools, and having priests constantly heal them made them practically unkillable!
Priest Haron hesitated.
"But... the other churches have already refused..."
"Wait, so when I refuse, you ignore it, but when those other bastards refuse, you just say okay?!"
Tae-hyun snapped, genuinely offended.
"Well, you are a hero, Count Tae-hyun, but the leaders of the other churches are... um... a bit..."
"Cheap, petty, and selfish?"
"I-I wouldn't go quite that far..."
"So they're cheap, petty, selfish, wicked, and downright filthy. Got it. That's why I've come up with a solution."
"...And what would that be?"
"We go to His Majesty the King and blow this up. If we tell him, 'We're trying to do a good deed, but those bastards refuse to cooperate,' won't His Majesty step in to help?"
"But... using the kingdom's authority to force cooperation in a sacred church mission is a bit..."
"You think it's a fantastic idea? Great. I'm glad we're on the same page."
"N-no, that's not what I meant..."
"Yes, yes, I understand your heart completely. But what exactly is the quest? I still haven't heard what we're supposed to do."
"It is to go to the Eternal Exile and lift the curse."
"...Why on earth would we do that?"
Just when he thought he was done with it, that name popped up again: the Eternal Exile! As Tae-hyun's face went completely blank and he turned to leave, Priest Haron desperately began to explain.
"The Eternal Exile, which was originally inaccessible due to the notorious pirate Gardu, has finally opened up now that Gardu has fallen! This is our chance! We must go to the Eternal Exile and free those who are trapped under the curse!"
It wasn't just foolish players who were trapped in the Eternal Exile. Long ago, the souls of the churches' paladins and priests who fought against Gardu had been dragged there and imprisoned!
"If that's the case, then we absolutely have to drag those other bastards along!"
Slam!
"Count Kim Tae-hyun! So this is where you were!"
"...?"
The temple doors burst open with a loud bang. Tae-hyun flinched. Don't tell me they already realized they got scammed? That was way faster than I expected...
However, the person who stormed through the doors wasn't an NPC from the other churches, but Admiral Brangsong.
"I heard the news! Is it true that you surrendered Carbanog's sacred relic to the Phytos Church?!"
"...Ugh! Yes, it is true, Admiral!"
Tae-hyun staggered backward as if collapsing from sheer grief and resentment. Beside him, Priest Haron gasped in shock. Why is he suddenly acting like this?
"A noble as fiercely responsible and proud as you would never simply hand it over! The Phytos Church must have threatened you, did they not?!"
"Sob... No... I gave it to them willingly... *sniff*... All for the peace of the continent... *sob*!"
Though his words claimed he had surrendered it willingly, his face was a perfect mask of profound sorrow and suppressed rage. Admiral Brangsong stomped his foot heavily against the floor.
"Those church bastards! I let them slide, and now they think they can walk all over us! How dare they persecute a noble of the kingdom?! I absolutely will not let this stand."
"Please, how could I allow myself to cause trouble for you, Admiral? Summoning the noble coalition's order of knights to launch an all-out assault on the Phytos Church's cathedral in the capital is simply too much..."
"I-I hadn't planned on going quite that far..."
Tae-hyun's terrifyingly specific plan caught even Admiral Brangsong off guard.
"...I have already spoken with His Majesty! If we let this slide, those church zealots will only grow bolder. We must teach them a harsh lesson! I shall formally denounce them at the royal court council!"
"Oh, come now! Wouldn't a slightly more violent approach be much more effective?"
"...?"
"Haha. Just a joke."
Crash!
"Count Kim Tae-hyun!!!"
"...?"
Yet another group of uninvited guests burst through the doors. It was the paladins and priests of the Phytos Church, their faces flushed bright red with fury. One look at them made it obvious they had finally realized the truth.
Whoops. Caught red-handed.
"How... how dare you pull such a stunt and think you would get away with—"
Tae-hyun didn't even need to reply. The perfect shield was already standing right in front of him.
"Those are my words, you insolent priests!" Admiral Brangsong roared in fury.
"Admiral Brangsong?! Why are you here?!"
"Barging into another church's temple without permission! Does the Phytos Church care nothing for the laws of the kingdom, let alone basic courtesy between denominations?!"
"No, we obtained permission to enter this—"
"I don't want to hear it! I have already heard how you coerced Count Kim Tae-hyun and extorted his sacred relic! If you do not return it immediately, I will show you no mercy at the upcoming royal court council!"
"How are we supposed to return it?! From the very beginning, we—"
"...So you never had any intention of returning it?"
Tae-hyun smoothly cut off their explanation to fan the flames. Hearing this, Admiral Brangsong's rage reached a boiling point.
"So that's how it is! The insolence of the Phytos Church truly knows no bounds! Get out of here this instant!"
"But, Admiral Brangsong—"
"Get out!"
• Your relationship with the Phytos Church has deteriorated to the absolute worst state.
• All of your Phytos Church Contribution Points have been completely wiped out.
• You have been placed on the Phytos Church's Blacklist.
• Assassins from the Phytos Church may target and attack you in the future...
A flurry of system messages popped up in brilliant colors! But Tae-hyun remained completely unfazed.
As if this is the first time assassins have come after me.
He wasn't scared at all. Let them come!
The Phytos Church's reputation within the kingdom has plummeted significantly.
The Phytos Church's influence within the kingdom has plummeted significantly.
It was the Phytos Church players who ended up suffering the consequences! Low-level players who hadn't accumulated much contribution points began to jump ship in droves.
Though they had no choice but to retreat due to Admiral Brangsong, the Phytos Church was absolutely seething with rage. To think there was a bastard out there who would pull a scam using the name of their own god! That guy didn't deserve to be called a believer! He was an utterly wicked villain!
...The problem was, almost no one believed a word the Phytos Church said. Admiral Brangsong was naturally on the side of the nobility, but even the other churches maintained an ambiguous stance.
"Hmm... Did they really receive the spear and then play dumb? It's highly suspicious."
"The rumors that they got the spear are everywhere... Surely they aren't pulling such a cheap trick just because the council is about to convene?"
"Those cursed bastards!"
Since they had all been plotting to snatch the sacred relic for themselves, none of the churches trusted one another.
The Demer Church, on the other hand, refused to believe it for a completely different reason.
"How could a hero like Count Kim Tae-hyun ever do such a thing?"
"How is that guy a hero?! Wake up, Demer Church!"
"The Phytos Church is the one that needs to wake up! Count Kim Tae-hyun is a true hero! He was the only one who seriously listened to our request for the subjugation holy war, which all of you refused!"
"You mustn't believe him! It's all that bastard's trickery!"
Hehe. What a glorious mess.
Tae-hyun rubbed the bottom of his nose, watching the scene unfold with immense satisfaction. The plaza in front of the royal palace, where the various church NPCs had gathered, was in absolute chaos. There were the Phytos Church NPCs desperately trying to clear their names, the other church NPCs looking on with deep suspicion, and the Demer Church NPCs whose eyes were completely blinded by their adoration for him!
The results were far better than he could have ever hoped for.