The Tongue Is Mightier than the Shield

"I can only feel ashamed. To arrive so late and do nothing but wag my tongue like this!"

"Well, that is the obvious truth..."

"Hmm?"

"Ah—cough. I mean, I am simply grateful that you came at all. It is the thought that counts, is it not?"

Quickly covering up his slip of the tongue, Kim Tae-hyun praised Admiral Brangsong. After all, there was no need to mistreat a noble who was so fond of him. Let's stay close friends for a long, long time!

"I will be sure to report today's events to His Majesty the King! Especially the heroic exploits of Count Kim Tae-hyun!"

"Haha. You flatter me."

"No! I absolutely must tell him!"

"Well, if you insist, please make sure to explain it in the longest, most detailed manner possible."

"I-I shall do just that."

Splash!

"Hmm?"

Tae-hyun looked out in confusion at another ship appearing in the distance.

"Is that part of your fleet, Admiral?"

"What? My fleet...? Hmm? No, that is not one of my vessels."

A single ship was emerging from the distance. Fortunately, since it wasn't an entire fleet, there was nothing to fear.

"That flag... It belongs to the Paitos Church!"

The Paitos Church. It was a religious order that worshipped Paitos, the God of the Hammer and Shield. It was one of the more prominent denominations on the continent. While they had no presence in Erance, Espa, Dungland, or Oston, they had temples in almost every other nation, including the Atali Kingdom.

Tae-hyun scowled. The sudden appearance of these church NPCs did not seem like a good omen.

The ship anchored near the shore, and high-ranking priests and paladins of the Paitos Church disembarked. As soon as they stepped onto land, they began to shout.

"No, no, no... How wicked! I can sense a foul, malevolent energy radiating from that vessel! To think you would harbor such things... As expected, Count Kim Tae-hyun is—"

"What? We salvaged this from a pirate ship."

"And it doesn't even belong to Count Kim Tae-hyun. It's ours."

The players spoke up, sounding utterly dumbfounded. Tae-hyun had just promised to distribute the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠loot to them, and they were all grinning from ear to ear. Who were these random paladins and priests trying to ruin their parade?

"You must not accept such cursed items!"

"Yeah, whatever. I don't even worship Paitos."

"Who are you to tell us what to do? Beat it, will you?"

"Y-You impudent fools...!"

The players collectively ignored them! Unless it was a church they actually worshipped, they had absolutely nothing to fear. The Paitos Church NPCs weren't the type to attack non-believers like the Sadiq Church NPCs did.

The high-ranking priests and paladins of the Paitos Church trembled with rage at the blatant disrespect.

"Ahem."

Tae-hyun approached them. Even though they had clearly arrived with ill intentions, he figured he should at least make an effort to play nice first.

"Greetings."

"Greetings, Count Kim Tae-hyun."

The Paitos Church NPCs glared at him with deeply disapproving eyes.

Tsk.

Even with his Supreme Eloquence skill and the passive skills of his Archisus class, he couldn't completely erase their suspicion! But then again, this was also proof of how much the Archisus Church had grown.

"Count Kim Tae-hyun. We have heard several unsavory rumors regarding your conduct..."

"Heavens! Don't tell me you are the type of priest who blindly believes idle gossip, Your Eminence?"

"……."

Tae-hyun was never one to take a hit lying down.

The verbal sparring between Tae-hyun and the Paitos Church began. However, the outcome was practically decided from the very start.

His Speech skill was at the supreme grade! On top of that, this was his own fief!

"We heard that in the Uruk region, you led goblins to..."

"I merely introduced the primitive goblins to the glorious name of Archisus. I am sure they have embraced the faith and repented. Look at that goblin over there. Normally, goblins are obsessed with bombs and gunpowder, constantly trying to blow others up. But look at him now—is he not peacefully cooking?"

As soon as the battle ended, Stau, the Bizarre Chef, had rushed out to prepare a dish using the tentacles of the cursed pirate warriors. Of course, everyone was actively ignoring him.

— "Hey, try it! Try it! Give it a taste, human!"

— "What is this crazy goblin talking about?! How are we supposed to eat that?!"

— "Kim Tae-hyun said if he spoke with such confidence, we should eat it! He lied to us, Kim Tae-hyun!"

Fortunately, they were far enough away that their voices didn't carry over.

Admiral Brangsong clapped his hands in admiration.

"Incredible! To think Count Kim Tae-hyun has even reformed the goblins of the wild Uruk region!"

"...Admiral Brangsong. Why exactly are you standing here?"

"This is currently a private matter concerning our religious orders..."

The Paitos Church NPCs glared at Brangsong with irritation. They say a meddling bystander is more annoying than the actual opponent, and Brangsong chiming in from the sidelines was testing their patience. However, because he was a high-ranking noble NPC of the kingdom, the Paitos Church NPCs couldn't treat him poorly.

Just go away already!

Unfortunately, Brangsong was completely oblivious to their hints.

"Hmm? Am I supposed to leave?"

"Ah, no. It is not quite that..."

"Then I shall remain. The tales of Count Kim Tae-hyun's heroism are truly fascinating."

"……."

"……."

The Paitos Church quickly changed the subject. Since the goblin angle had failed, they moved on to the pirates.

"Then what about those pirates! To think you would welcome such scoundrels into your order! Does the Archisus Church openly recruit criminals?!"

Brangsong also turned to Tae-hyun with startled eyes. He accepted pirates into his church?

"Those pirates..."

Gulp.

The sound of Brangsong swallowing hard echoed in the silence.

"...are individuals who have abandoned their life of piracy to join our faith."

"What utter nonsense!"

"You might as well claim a lich has sworn off dark magic! How can we possibly believe those pirates have truly reformed? They will return to their old ways the very first chance they get!"

"They... literally destroyed their own island before leaving! That is how desperately they wished to escape their past lives. If we refuse to believe such sincere devotion, what hope is there for redemption?"

"……?!"

Brangsong, listening intently from the side, gasped in shock. They destroyed their own island?

"If you do not believe me, feel free to verify it yourself. Skull Island in the Uruk region has been completely obliterated!"

Tae-hyun lied through his teeth without batting an eye! It didn't matter who actually destroyed it!

"To think... Count Kim Tae-hyun is not just a hero of the kingdom, but a hero of the entire continent!"

Brangsong was so deeply moved that tears welled up in his eyes. What other noble in the world would venture into such a remote wilderness just to persuade and redeem a band of pirates!

Of course, the church NPCs were utterly losing their minds. They had come here to corner Tae-hyun and diminish his influence within the Atali Kingdom, but Brangsong kept throwing a wrench in their plans. They wanted nothing more than to smack him!

"Grr... You have certainly managed to wrap Admiral Brangsong around your finger, Count Kim Tae-hyun."

"I have no idea what you mean. I have merely lived in accordance with the honor befitting the title bestowed upon me by His Majesty..."

"Magnificent!"

"Ah, Admiral Brangsong, please..."

Brangsong was testing the limits of even a highly disciplined paladin's patience! The Paitos Church NPCs gritted their teeth and spoke.

"Whew. Fine, Count Kim Tae-hyun. We shall let those matters slide for now, as we lack the immediate evidence to press the issue."

"Sniff... Members of the Paitos Church, I have lived my life guided solely by pure faith and honor. How could you say such hurtful things..."

Tae-hyun was thoroughly enjoying himself now. Beside him, Brangsong was glaring at the Paitos Church NPCs with fierce, narrowed eyes.

A miraculous technique of tearing down the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Paitos Church's power using nothing but his tongue!

The Paitos Church NPCs, who were barely holding onto their sanity, finally managed to compose themselves and spoke.

"Then let us get to the main point. Carbanog! You possess the sacred relic of Carbanog, do you not?"

"Yes, I do!"

"……."

"……."

The NPCs, who had fully expected him to lie and deny it, were caught completely off guard.

"Y-You do?"

"I just said I do, didn't I?"

"Ahem! Excellent. Hand it over!"

"Pardon? Why should I?"

"That relic is not something a person like you should possess!"

"Did you just insult a Count of the kingdom...?"

Shring—

Brangsong's hand slowly drifted toward the hilt of the sword at his waist.

The Paitos Church NPCs flinched and hurriedly clarified.

"We were not referring to his noble title! We meant his position as the Pope of his church!"

"Ah. I see. You came all this way to interrogate me so aggressively that I thought you were completely disregarding my status as a Count of this kingdom."

"I am a Paladin!"

"Hmph. The Paitos Church is not accepting recruits. Unless you are a paladin of another order... say, the Archisus Church, perhaps."

"What?!"

The novice player who had advanced to a Paitos paladin was utterly dumbfounded. Normally, paladins were a highly welcomed class in any town—as long as they weren't part of an evil god's order like the Sadiq Church. So why was this happening to him?!

"But why shouldn't I be ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠allowed to keep it?"

"That relic is far too dangerous to be left in the hands of the Archisus Church!"

"And why is that?"

"Because the Archisus Church lacks the capability to protect it!"

"Hmm..."

Tae-hyun let his voice trail off. His relaxed demeanor made the Paitos Church NPCs feel uneasy.

"Now, who was it that begged me to lend them my strength during that subjugation quest in the past...?"

"……."

"……."

The subjugation quest where Tae-hyun had obtained the relic! Back then, the orders that had begged Tae-hyun for assistance were the Tyran Church, the Yata Church, the Paitos Church, and the Demer Church. While the Demer Church was relatively friendly toward the Archisus Church, the other orders despised them. Consequently, Tae-hyun had stripped them of everything down to their very souls—and dragged them along to the Demon Realm as a bonus!

Having their sore spot poked, the Paitos Church NPCs were left entirely speechless.

Admiral Brangsong asked in surprise,

"Did such a thing occur?"

"Sniff... The other orders despised and looked down on me, but for the sake of the continent's safety, I..."

"How could they...! To persecute Count Kim Tae-hyun after all he did!"

"I barely managed to protect them and guide them safely out of the Demon Realm..."

"Unbelievable!!"

Tae-hyun's words made the Paitos Church NPCs' blood pressure skyrocket. Their colleagues who had been dragged to the Demon Realm because of Tae-hyun had suffered immensely. They had heard that those poor souls only managed to escape after surrendering all of their church contribution points. Ever since then, those survivors would break out in hives at the mere mention of the name 'Archisus'!

"How dare you tell such blatant lies!"

"Do you not fear your own god?!"

"Pardon? I am not lying. I swear to God."

"Y-You...!"

Tae-hyun swore to his god with absolute composure and confidence!

"Enough!"

It was ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Brangsong who cut off the conversation. Tae-hyun felt a twinge of disappointment. He had been enjoying teasing them and chipping away at their influence and reputation!

"I will no longer stand by and watch you persecute Count Kim Tae-hyun in my presence."

"Admiral Brangsong! This is a matter concerning the churches..."

"Count Kim Tae-hyun may be the Pope of the Archisus Church, but he is also a Count of this kingdom and a hero of the continent!"

"……."

"……."

"On my name, I will not tolerate any further harassment of Count Kim Tae-hyun here!"

The Paitos Church NPCs gritted their teeth, their eyes bloodshot with fury.

"Ugh...!"

"Just you wait, Count Kim Tae-hyun...!"

"Anyone watching would think they were the villains here."

Tae-hyun chuckled. It sounded exactly like the parting threats the Sadiq Church NPCs used to make after getting thoroughly trounced by him.