The Pathetic High Priest's Past
But in the end, a small town was just a small town. The items were all utterly mediocre.
Is there really nothing here? Tae-hyun hadn't expected much anyway. He had only been browsing out of sheer boredom while Lee Da-bi conducted her business as the town's exclusive merchant.
“Excuse me, Adventurer. Um...”
“...?”
“If I tell you about a great place, will you let me go?”
“Sure, if it's actually a good place.”
“That house over there! That house sells amazing things!”
Tae-hyun looked at the house with a puzzled expression. It didn't look like a shop at all.
“That's not a shop.”
“It's not a shop, it's the village herbalist's house. But the medicine that herbalist makes is incredible!”
“In what way?”
“...He is exceptionally good at making potions that cause paralysis, stun, and confusion...”
“Spoken like a true slave trader.”
“I-I'm not a slave trader!”
“Quiet.”
Tae-hyun ignored him and walked inside. Come to think of it, they would have to fight pirates soon. Considering Tae-hyun's cooking skills, stocking up on those herbs beforehand wasn't a bad idea.
Dear pirates! Please try this Weird Food I made!
Hmm. Perfect.
Picturing a happy future, Tae-hyun opened the door.
Click—
Inside the dark house, a massive cauldron was boiling, emitting a peculiar odor.
“Who's there?”
“A goblin?”
“What, a goblin can't be here?”
Surprisingly, the herbalist inside was a goblin. The old goblin grumbled as he walked out.
“More outsiders from who knows where... *gasp!*”
“...?”
“Y-You!”
“What? Engineering? I am a master of engineering.”
“No! Not that garbage!”
“Garbage? Aren't you a goblin?”
For a goblin to call engineering "garbage". It was as shocking as a dwarf calling blacksmithing "garbage"!
“You! You're a human who knows how to cook Weird Food!!”
You possess the Intermediate Weird Food Cooking skill.
Stau is extremely shocked to see you!
“To think there's a human who can cook Weird Food! Amazing!”
“I'm more shocked that you're a goblin who doesn't like engineering.”
“Engineering is useless!”
Tae-hyun felt slightly hurt. Engineering was so good! But Stau was confident.
“Engineering only hurts people! All skills do! But there is one skill that never hurts anyone. That is cooking!”
“...?”
Tae-hyun tilted his head. It sounded plausible, but come to think of it, wasn't this guy a Weird Food chef? Weird Food definitely hurt people!
If that's the case, shouldn't he just learn regular cooking?
“And Weird Food is the pinnacle of culinary arts! It is the essence of cooking that shatters conventional concepts!”
“...Sure, if you say so.”
You shouldn't take a crazy person seriously. Tae-hyun decided to treat Stau as a crazy goblin.
“But why are you here? The goblin tribes are elsewhere.”
“...I left.”
“Why?”
“...The other goblins couldn't understand my Weird Food.”
Stau spoke hesitantly. Tae-hyun immediately realized. This guy got kicked out!
“Did you get kicked out because you fed them your Weird Food?”
“No! How dare you! I only told you because you seemed to know a bit about Weird Food!”
“You definitely got kicked out...”
“...The chief did get a bit sick after eating it.”
Stau finally confessed the truth! Tae-hyun stared at him with a pathetic look.
“Why are you looking at me like that!”
“Nothing. Anyway, I came to buy herbs, so just sell me some.”
“Human, seeing as you learned Weird Food, you must have had many worries.”
“Not really.”
It was just a skill he got randomly while playing!
“You must have wondered what path Weird Food should take, what you must do to improve... and thought, 'I need a master!'”
“I'm leaving.”
It didn't seem like he was going to sell herbs, and dealing with a crazy goblin was getting annoying. Tae-hyun turned to open the door.
“Wait! Wait! Don't go, human!”
Stau rushed over and clung to Tae-hyun's ankle!
“Ah, why are you being so annoying? Let go if you're not selling herbs.”
“No! I will be your magnificent master!”
“Don't need one.”
If it were swordsmanship, engineering, or magic, and an NPC offered to be his master, he would have accepted with a 'thank you'. But Weird Food... did he really need a master for that?
“Don't go! Human! *Sob sob sob!* No one around here understands Weird Food! If you leave, I'll never meet anyone like you again!”
“People will think we're dating. Let go. Let go, you bastard!”
Tae-hyun shook his leg to fling Stau off. But Stau held on tight and wouldn't let go.
“What do you want, human! Tell me what you want!”
“I want you to let go. Honestly, I have enough weirdos around me already.”
“Not that! Something else! Learn my Weird Food!”
Stau's Successor
Stau, the greatest chef in the Uruk Region, has reached the pinnacle of goblin culinary arts and opened his eyes to a new path: Weird Food. Though banished from his tribe for his creations, Stau has wandered endlessly in search of a talented successor. Learn the secrets of Weird Food under his tutelage!
🎁 Reward: Class change to Goblin Secret Weird Food Chef
You are the Pope of the Akisus Cult.
Class change is impossible.
Right. Well, this is obvious.
It wasn't the first time a class change quest popped up only to say 'You cannot escape Archisus!', so Tae-hyun wasn't even surprised.
“Sorry. Impossible.”
“No! You don't have to change classes! Just learn the skills! Please learn my skills!”
“Man, why are you so persistent?”
If you cause a disturbance in the village, the guards will be dispatched.
With the warning window popping up, Tae-hyun decided to at least hear him out.
“If I learn, what will you do for me?”
The situation was completely reversed! Normally, the student would be the desperate one, but now it was the exact opposite.
“Tell me what you want, human! Other than letting go!”
Stau spoke hurriedly. He must have been truly desperate for a student. Tae-hyun felt a bit bad.
He seemed like an outstanding chef, but...
He's outstanding in the Uruk Region and outstanding as a goblin chef, so he's definitely not a useless NPC. Having him around wouldn't hurt...
But something felt ominous. He had a history of getting kicked out for feeding Weird Food to his chief! No matter how he looked at it, Stau seemed like a dangerous NPC suited for Weird Food.
I already have enough crazy people...
After some thought, Tae-hyun finally made a decision.
“Fine. I'll learn.”
“...!!”
Stau's face lit up.
“Great decision, human! I shall teach you well!”
“But I'm busy right now and don't have time to stay here. You'll have to follow me around and teach me. Can you do that?”
“Of course!”
“And while you're following me, you'll have to do other chores. You can't just eat and live for free.”
“Of course! ...Wait, why is teaching you considered living for free—”
“If you're going to talk back, I'm not taking you.”
“No, no! Take me with you!”
Since Stau was the desperate one, he ended up signing the slave contract.
“But you must fully learn my Weird Food! You must master all of my secret Weird Food!”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“If you don't learn it all, I will stalk you to the ends of the earth!”
“Sure... Wait, what?”
Tae-hyun answered half-heartedly, then flinched. Didn't he just say something incredibly creepy?
“Hehe, since I guided you to a good place, will you let me go...”
“There you go.”
“Thank you!”
When Tae-hyun actually untied him, the merchant NPC was overjoyed. The other captives stared with pleading eyes, but the merchant NPC ignored them.
“Well then, farewell...”
“Huh? Where are you going?”
“Pardon? I have a hometown to return to...”
“No, didn't we agree to go to the pirate ship together?”
“...”
“...”
Realizing the situation, the merchant NPC's face turned pale. Tae-hyun had literally just untied him, nothing more.
“Come on, let's go. Feels good to have the ropes off, right? You should row with a refreshed mind.”
“N-No! Adventurer!”
Seeing this, Stau asked curiously.
“By the way, where are we going?”
“A pirate ship.”
“...Why on earth are we going to a pirate ship?”
“It's a bit funny for someone learning Weird Food to ask for logic.”
When they returned to the group, Lee Da-bi was waiting, having finished her business. And Galakpad and Pelmas were arguing.
“We must go and purge them all, demonstrating the grand majesty of Lord Archisus!”
“Are you insane? That is a perfect way to get ourselves killed! We must approach this intellectually! ...Tae-hyun, who is the goblin?”
“Our chef.”
“Pardon? A goblin?”
Pelmas looked utterly baffled. A human chef—that made sense. An elf chef—that also made sense. They seemed like they would cook high-end dishes. An orc chef—a bit strange, but acceptable. They would probably cook large, cheap, stamina-boosting meals. But a goblin chef? It was a combination he had never heard of.
“What, a goblin can't be a chef? You looking down on goblins?”
Stau glared at Pelmas. Pelmas flinched under his gaze.
“N-No, I'm not looking down on goblins...”
“Look at him! He's totally looking down on us!”
“I didn't think you were like that, Pelmas. I'm disappointed.”
Suddenly branded a bad guy, Pelmas looked like he was about to cry.
“Alright, looks like we're done. Let's head to the pirate ship.”
“So what's the plan? Are we fighting?”
“We took all the merchants' cargo anyway, so let's go see. If they look strong, we'll disguise ourselves as merchants and act friendly. If they look weak, we'll just subdue them. We'll play it by ear.”
“Halt! Are you merchants?”
“Yes.”
“Wait here for the captain to come out.”
“Can't we just sell our goods?”
“The captain inspects and buys everything personally. And we need to check those rowers you're selling too.”
“Mmph! Mmmph!”
The merchant NPCs mumbled through their gags. Tae-hyun nodded.
“What do you think? Can we take them?”
“There are three ships, so it's a bit tricky... but yeah, I think we can manage.”
Tae-hyun fell into thought. At that moment, a thunderous voice roared from the deck.
“YOU!!!!!!”
“...?!”
An immense voice echoed from the pirate ship's deck! Tae-hyun was startled. Did they get caught?
“Y-You...! How dare you! How dare you!”
“Ah, there seems to be a misunderstanding...”
Tae-hyun tried to make an excuse quickly. Wait, what? But something was strange. The captain on the deck was staring at someone else.
That person was...
Pelmas!
Pelmas's face was pale with shock.
“You dare show your face in front of me after running off with my money?! You've got some nerve! I'm no pirate if I don't rip your liver out and eat it!!”
“...”
“...”
Realizing the situation, Tae-hyun's group stared at Pelmas. That pathetic guy!
Pelmas looked at Tae-hyun with the most desperate, pleading eyes.
Please help me!
Got it.
Tae-hyun placed a hand on Pelmas's shoulder. Pelmas was deeply moved by the reassuring gesture.
“Captain! I have captured the thief who dared to deceive you and run away!”
“...Huh?”