Let Me Go Home!
Thirty minutes later, Manager Kim was breaking out in a cold sweat. Though he was a seasoned veteran in the entertainment industry, he had never experienced an atmosphere this chilling. 'W-what is this?!'
It was Lee Se-yeon who struck first. "Wow, why don't you wear your makeup like that all the time? You look so innocent."
Yielding the first strike to Tae-hyun was a fool's errand. Se-yeon launched her opening salvo without mercy. But Tae-hyun remained completely unfazed.
"I've always been innocent. By the way, Jang Ssu-an was trash-talking you. Said you used dirty tricks during the tournament."
"You were the one who told me to do it!"
"Why are you raising your voice, Captain? You're the one who has to take responsibility. Isn't that what a captain is for?"
"You didn't listen to a single damn word I said...!"
'W-was Lee Se-yeon always like this?' Manager Kim couldn't hide his bewilderment. Her current demeanor was a far cry from her public image.
The public image of Lee Se-yeon? Cool, calm, unshakeable, professional to a fault, and perfect in every way... But what was he looking at right now? 'She's... she's so childish!'
Tae-hyun had always been a bit of a wildcard, but he never expected Se-yeon to stoop to his level. Suddenly, Tae-hyun tilted his head. "Wait, I feel like someone was just badmouthing me."
"...?!"
Manager Kim flinched. Tae-hyun possessed a beast-like intuition for these things!
"Is that really a surprise? There must be dozens of people doing that," Se-yeon remarked.
"True."
"Maybe Cain?"
"That's highly likely. I have been working him to the bone lately."
"Who else are you exploiting?"
"Well, first there's Cain..."
Se-yeon nodded at Tae-hyun's words. She grabbed a drink to wet her throat; she was parched from rushing over.
"And Lee Da-bi."
"Ah, Da-bi. She has such a great personality. She seems like the nicest of your friends."
"Haha. That's a massive misconception on your part."
"...?"
"And then there's Su-hyeok, and his gull—er, I mean, Su-hyeok's friend, and Jang Ssu-an."
"Right, right... wait, what?" Se-yeon wondered if she had misheard. "Who did you say?"
"You don't know Su-hyeok? He got famous for his god-tier controls..."
"No, not him! The one after! There was a glaringly out-of-place name at the end!"
"Su-hyeok's friend?"
"Jang Ssu-an!!"
"Ah, Jang Ssu-an. Yeah. He came over and we made up."
"Cough, cough!" Se-yeon choked on her drink, coughing violently. Tae-hyun patted her back with a look of mock concern.
"Tsk, tsk. I know you're thirsty, but you should drink slowly. Why the rush?"
"I-I didn't choke because I drank too fast...!" Se-yeon stared at him, utterly dumbfounded.
"How on earth did you 'make up' with Jang Ssu-an?"
"I told him you made me do everything."
"..."
"Just kidding."
"Don't joke with a straight face like that..."
"Well, once we had a heart-to-heart, he was very understanding. I don't get why everyone else can't be like that. It's such a headache having so many people chasing after me since Pan-On 1."
"I'd tell you to reflect on what you actually did to them... but I know you wouldn't listen anyway. More importantly, how did you threaten him?" Se-yeon didn't believe for a second that they had simply "made up."
"Wow, what an absolute honor to meet you both!"
"I won't be playing Pan-On with you. Actually, Lee Se-yeon will do it instead."
"Pardon? What do you mean by that?"
The PD in charge of Let Me Go Home! tilted his head in confusion. Tae-hyun felt a wave of relief. 'At least he won't hound me to play Pan-On with him.'
"Haha, it's nothing."
"I am truly, truly delighted to have you both here. I'm actually a huge fan of yours."
The PD appeared gentle and friendly, but Se-yeon's expression remained tense.
"Don't let your guard down. That man is a beast."
"Huh? Why? Is he a weirdo?"
"No, not a weirdo... but once the cameras start rolling, he is absolutely ruthless."
The concept of the variety show Let Me Go Home! was simple. They would hand the guests a randomly selected game, and they weren't allowed to go home until they cleared it! Usually, there would be some behind-the-scenes compromise, but this show took its premise literally. That relentless stubbornness was precisely what made it so popular.
"We can just beat it and leave."
"Ah, yes. Of course you would say that."
"You two seem to get along incredibly well! I suppose it makes sense, considering you played on the same team..."
"We don't."
"We don't."
"Ah, right. My apologies."
As they denied it with deadpan expressions, the PD bowed his head in embarrassment. 'S-scary!'
While the crew set up the stage and the MC warmed up the crowd with a brief introduction, the PD approached Tae-hyun. Unlike Se-yeon, who was a seasoned broadcast professional, Tae-hyun had rarely appeared on television. He was bound to be nervous. 'CEO Lee Dong-pal asked me to take good care of him, so I should pay extra attention. Besides, this is the legendary Kim Tae-hyun!'
Tae-hyun was easily one of the top contenders for the most popular and recognizable pro gamer in the country. Having him on the show was a massive coup. 'If it were up to me, I'd sign him to a regular contract and build an entire show around him, but he hates that kind of thing, so there's nothing I can do.'
In the PD's eyes, a show bearing Tae-hyun's name would easily succeed. While many other pro gamers were brilliant at playing but lacked any sort of broadcast sense, Tae-hyun was different. He had a natural talent! He was the type of person who could make any conversation entertaining with minimal effort.
"There's no need to be nervous. You just have to play a simple game. Our show is much more laid-back than other broadcasts!"
Of course, that was a blatant lie. Although Let Me Go Home! boasted high ratings and a loyal fanbase, there was a reason many celebrities actively avoided appearing on it. The show was notoriously strict about not letting guests leave until they cleared the game!
"I want to go home! Please let me go home!"
"Sob, I'm never playing games again!"
Watching the guests suffer was the main draw of the show. In other words, the more miserable the guests were, the more entertaining the broadcast became.
'Hehe... Kim Tae-hyun! I have nothing against you personally, but please suffer as much as possible...! That's exactly why we invited you!'
The PD imagined Tae-hyun and Se-yeon writhing in agony, unable to clear the game. Just the thought of it made him envision the ratings skyrocketing! However, he had no idea what kind of players he was dealing with. Nor did he realize the sheer, explosive competitive fire that ignited when the two of them were put in the same room!
"Come to think of it, you two competed on the same team. Which of you would you say is the better gamer?"
The MC asked the question without much thought. But the answers shot out simultaneously.
"Me."
"Me."
"..."
Crack! For a split second, sparks practically flew between Se-yeon and Tae-hyun. The MC could have sworn he saw them. 'W-what is this?'
"Haha. If we look at who won the tournament MVP, wouldn't that show who played the best?"
"The tournament MVP is naturally biased toward the player whose class is best suited for making flashy plays, isn't it?" Se-yeon countered. "Shouldn't we look at a more objective result? For example, our 1v1 record in Pan-On 1?"
"Pan-On 1 was ages ago, and you're still bringing it up? Is that really the only thing you have to brag about? Haha."
Though they were using polite honorifics for the camera, their eyes looked ready to tear each other apart. The flustered MC cast a desperate glance toward the staff for help.
"W-what should we do? Should we stop them and retake? If they start fighting..."
"No! Keep rolling! This is exactly what I wanted!"
Although it was entirely unexpected, the PD was ecstatic. This was pure gold. Two hyper-competitive players clashing!
'This kind of explosive chemistry is what's trendy these days!'
If they had just sat there saying, "Haha, no, Se-yeon is much better," or "What are you talking about? Tae-hyun is far superior, teehee," it would have been incredibly boring. It might have protected their polite public images, but that wasn't what the viewers wanted to see.
"Now, t-then, let's begin the game!"
The MC, unable to bear the tension any longer, quickly changed the subject. Up close, their banter felt genuinely terrifying.
"Have either of you played this game before?"
"No."
"Never."
The game was The Jar Game 2. It was a simple game where a man stuck inside a jar had to use nothing but a single sledgehammer to climb up various obstacles. As for why such a simple game was chosen for this broadcast... 'Because it's brutally, disgustingly hard!'
The PD pumped his fist in his mind. The prequel, Getting Over It, was already infamous for its clunky controls, frustrating physics engine, and extreme difficulty. On top of that, if you fell, you plummeted all the way back down to the bottom, forcing you to start all over again! But The Jar Game 2 raised the stakes even higher by increasing the difficulty and adding traps.
Even self-proclaimed gaming experts took over twenty-four hours on average to clear it. Even the dedicated speedrunners who played nothing else were struggling to break the three-hour mark. 'I've already verified that neither of them has ever touched this game.'
For first-timers, it would take them at least twelve hours, even by the most generous estimates. And that was already highly overestimating them!
"Hmm... what a peculiar game. Why are there traps on the way up?"
"Ugh, I hate traps."
"Why?"
"Probably because some lunatic runs around with traps literally strapped to his body in Pan-On."
"Oh dear, there's actually someone like that?"
"..."
Even as they sat in front of their respective monitors and began the game, their mouths didn't stop moving for a second. The onlookers were growing increasingly anxious on their behalf. 'Are they even focusing?!'
But such worries only came from those who didn't truly know them. These two were monsters who could maintain absolute focus even while bickering.
"But seriously, if we clear this, can we really go home?"
"Pardon? Of course! We are men of our word," the PD declared, thumping his chest confidently. Hearing this, Tae-hyun let out a cheerful whistle.
"Then I won't hold back. I'll finish this quickly and head home. Don't blame me."
"Haha. Of course!"
The PD immediately gestured to his staff. 'Make sure to add subtitles to this scene!' The more Tae-hyun suffered later, the funnier this arrogant statement would look to the viewers.
Clack, clack, clack—
"W-what?"
The PD rubbed his eyes in disbelief. Tae-hyun, who had been hesitating and struggling to move in the starting area just moments ago, was suddenly rocket-jumping forward at a terrifying speed. His control was unbelievable!
'N-no... even so, since he knows absolutely nothing about the game, he's bound to get caught by the terrain or the traps! This is a game where a single mistake sends you right back to the beginning. Moving that fast is unexpected, but it might actually make him fall even faster...'
"Ah. A trap."
"?!"
The PD saw it clearly. Tae-hyun had reacted and dodged before the trap even fully triggered!
"H-how did you just do that?"
"Do what?"
Tae-hyun didn't even pause to look at the PD as his hands kept flying across the controls.
"That trap just now... did you already know it was there?"
"No."
"Then how did you dodge it?"
"Oh, the terrain shifts ever so slightly right before the trap triggers. I just saw that and reacted."
"?????"
No matter how hard the PD stared at the screen, he couldn't see any such shift. 'Does this guy have high-speed cameras for eyes?!'
But Tae-hyun wasn't the only one leaving the PD speechless. Se-yeon was hot on his heels, climbing at an equally terrifying pace. 'What is up with this one too?!'
"Ms. Lee Se-yeon! How did you dodge that trap?!"
"I just watched Kim Tae-hyun's screen and memorized where they appeared."
"Hey, that's cheating!"