Were You Trying to Run Away?
I was going to die. I couldn't draw even a sliver of breath. I struck her shoulder as hard as I could and tried to shove her off, but she didn't budge an inch.
They say your life flashes before your eyes before you die. What surfaced for me instead were all the things that had felt wrong from the start.
A body weaker than it should have been. The eerie sense that everything around me had grown too large. A woman who didn't look particularly tall, yet stood a full head above me. And last of all — the way she called me Unni, not Oppa. By the time that final thought registered, my consciousness was already slipping.
"Hahk! Hh—hh—!Cough!"
The woman peeled her hands from my throat. The hellish pressure vanished, and tears and snot poured out of me in a flood.
"Haa... I'm sorry, Unni. I got so angry. I love you more than anyone in the world, but your head is always full of thoughts about running away."
She stuck out her tongue and lapped up the tears I'd shed. It should have been disgusting, but she showed not the slightest hint of distaste — as if she truly loved every last part of me.
"Why aren't you denying it? Are you really going to run?"
The atmosphere flipped in an instant. The affection that had seemed warm enough to melt me from the inside vanished, and a resentment so cold it could freeze me to the bone rushed in to take its place. The mood swung so fast I couldn't keep up. Under that icy gaze, the throat she'd just been choking started to ache all over again.
A warning bell went off in my head — I had to say something, anything — but the words wouldn't come, as if a stone had lodged in my throat.
"...Yeah. This won't do. It's a shame to lose those pretty feet, but I'll have to cut them off after all."
I sat there stammering, speechless, and she took my silence as agreement. That blood-chilling mutter sank straight into my ears.
"N-no! I-I won't run! I won't run away!"
I felt not a shred of shame at using formal speech with a girl who looked years younger than me.
This bitch is insane. Her face was fine — it was everything underneath that had rotted through. A complete psychopath.
This wasn't a medieval slave market. I hadn't stolen anything. I'd merely thought about running away. And for that, she was going to cut off my ankles? In the twenty-first century?
This has to be a joke, right?
"...Unni. Do you know what I hate most?"
"......"
Look at those eyes. She was dead serious. Every single word dripped with sincerity.
I was so thoroughly crushed by that murderous presence that all I could do was roll my eyes. She shoved a finger into each corner of my mouth and pulled upward, forcing me into a smile.
"It's doing things you'll regret. It hurts me too, you know. Your pain is my pain. How much will it hurt? How hard will it be on you mentally? Just thinking about it makes my eyes well up."
"But if you're going to run away and regret it later, then as much as it breaks my heart, it'd be better to cut your ankles off now, wouldn't it? You think so too, right? Because you love me. You love me, so you can endure a little pain, can't you? You love me, so you can understand this much. Right?"
You're smiling, she murmured, then pulled her fingers from my mouth and brought the saliva-slicked digits to her own lips.
Slurp—
Her face filled with rapture. Whatever she was imagining, her cheeks flushed a deep, feverish red.
"There are upsides, though, so you don't need to be so scared. You won't have to do anything. I mean, you don't do anything now either, but from now on you really, truly, won't have to do a single thing. Haa..."
She was panting, as if she could barely contain her excitement for the future she was describing.
"You'll become a doll that can't do anything without me. You won't be able to go to the bathroom, of course — you won't even be able to get out of bed. Once I've cut off your feet, I'll start tying your hands. Not those flimsy cuffs. Proper iron ones. No matter how hard you pull, it won't be the cuffs that snap. It'll be your wrists. And while we're on the subject, should I just cut those off too? Then I wouldn't even need to tie you up. Convenient for both of us, right?"
"I-I won't run... I-I swear..."
"How am I supposed to believe you? I believed you, and you're the one who betrayed me. And now you want me to trust you again? For nothing in return?"
Her madness had me terrified. I shut my eyes, unable to look at her — and she forced them open. She lifted my chin so I had no choice but to face her. Her gaze was sharp enough to cut through any lie I might tell.
"And I told you, didn't I? Look me in the eyes when you talk to me. Why can't you meet my gaze? Unni, are you really going to run?"
"Th-th-there's a b-b-bodyguard outside... H-how could I... h-how could I even r-run..."
I forced the words out through a jaw that was clacking with fear. If I just said I wouldn't run, she'd see right through me. This seemed like the better play.
"...A bodyguard?"
Her pupils dilated until they swallowed her irises whole — until her eyes went completely, terrifyingly empty.
"O-eh, wh-why... th-there's a b-bodyguard outside... hic."
"How do you know there's a bodyguard outside?"
"W-well..."
The reason she'd reacted so violently flashed through my mind. And only then did I understand the situation I was in.
"Unni. Did you go outside?"
The reason this woman had snapped like this was because I'd gotten out of bed. She wasn't doing this because she knew I'd gone outside.
"I'm asking you. Did you go outside?"
"Ah, ah... th-that's... ah..."
I couldn't say a word. Every muscle in my body had gone slack, the way they do when you're standing in front of a predator. I'm going to die. I'm definitely going to die.
If I die in this body, will I go back to my own...?
"...Let's just cut them. Let's cut them right now. No. Cutting them off would be a waste... I'll crush them, Unni."
Her hands reached for my ankle. It looked so thin. She wrapped both hands around it completely. Veins stood out on the backs of her hands as she squeezed.
Crrrk—
"Ghk— KYAAAAAAAAAH!"
A pain more intense than anything I had ever felt in my entire life tore through me. Any naive thought that she wouldn't actually go through with it was gone.
"S-save me! Save me! Save me! P-please, please save me! Please!"
I grabbed her wrist as it moved toward my other ankle and begged. Her gaze shifted from my ankle to my face. She smiled at me.
"Don't worry, Unni. This won't kill you. It'll just hurt enough to make you wish you were dead."
"I-I just wanted to see you! Y-you — I missed you so much, that's why!"
"...You should have said that from the start, Unni. Shall I pretend to fall for that obvious lie of yours, just for today?"
"Please, I'm begging you..."
"Alright. That's enough for today. I think you've reflected enough. Right?"
"Yes. That's right. I-I love you."
"Mm. Unni. I love you too."
The last thing I remembered was her gently stroking my hair, as if it were all over. The relief of still being alive was enough to make me lose the last thread of consciousness I'd been clinging to.
Day one of living with her.
I lost my right ankle.
I woke to a hideous, searing pain. The source, of course, was my right ankle.
"Nngh... i-it huuurts!"
"Please bear with it a little longer. The surgery was a complete success. The anesthesia has simply worn off."
I thrashed against the pain, and a woman who appeared to be a doctor pinned my shoulders down, trying to calm me. Once I'd settled enough to speak, I asked the only question that mattered.
"M-my foot... is it healed now?"
The doctor wore a bitter expression.
"The surgery was successful, but by the time I received the call, the golden hour had long since passed... Cosmetically it looks fine, but you'll likely never be able to use your right foot again... And since the ankle wasn't amputated, a prosthetic isn't an option either."
The words hit me like a bolt from a clear sky. My mind went blank.
I can't walk? Me?
I have to live as a disabled person for the rest of my life? In this place?
Impossible. This is impossible.
My ankle had been shattered in a single night. There was no guarantee it wouldn't happen again today. I clung to the doctor in front of me with everything I had.
"D-doctor, p-please, take me with you. Please? I-I can't live here. Th-there's a crazy bitch in here. I'm being held captive! Please... save me. Doctor..."
"I'm sorry..."
But the doctor only looked at me with pity, then stood. I grabbed at her coat with what little strength I had, but she firmly shook my hand off.
With that, the doctor walked out the door.
Click.
The sound of the lock sliding into place, and then silence filled the room. A silence so complete it made my skin crawl.
"Hic..."
Quiet enough that I could hear my own tears falling.
Quiet.