Chapter 95
Chapter 95
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 95
Chapter Title: Seeing the Bare Face -1
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Like a snake slithering over a fence.
Spring, which had been threatening winter's position whenever it found a gap, had at some point sent winter to the bench and claimed the starting spot for itself.
During that time, we faced Torino FC at home, and the following week, we played Udinese Calcio in the Coppa Italia Round of 16.
I started against Torino, playing for 75 minutes and scoring one goal. Against Udinese, I played 77 minutes and recorded one assist.
To be honest, they weren't games I could be fully satisfied with.
Of course, we won both games, and it was a great joy to advance to the quarterfinals by defeating Udinese...
But apart from that, my individual stats, which are quantified by numbers, felt lacking compared to my previous games.
Truthfully, it might be an arrogant thought.
To score one goal and record one assist in two games and still not be satisfied.
If someone heard me, they might throw stones at me, telling me not to be so full of myself.
Just a few months ago, I would have reacted the same way.
But the me of now and the me of the past are different in many ways.
Whether it's me myself, or my environment and situation.
Almost everything was different from before, and it couldn't be the same.
And because I know that, I had to raise my own standards even higher.
It meant I couldn't just be satisfied with merely participating in a game like I used to.
That was my situation.
Somehow, our team was on a winning streak and sitting atop the league table, and I had become something like the hero of that team, and to top it off, a player seen as the hope of the league.
I'm not ignorant of this.
That was the objective position of the current me, the player Lee Jee-an.
Regardless of how I think of myself, that's how I looked from the outside.
If it were the old me, I might have felt unhappy about this situation.
No, I definitely would have felt unhappy.
I wouldn't have understood why I had to live under such pressure and would have just cried.
While wishing for people to look not just at the front of me, but also at my back.
But that's not the case now.
I'll say it clearly, I am happy right now.
I don't feel unhappy.
I think I've received an unbelievable blessing.
To be honest, I have no choice but to feel that way.
Everything is so perfect that it feels like heaven is helping me, how could I not be happy?
All the people I met in Florence treat me with goodwill, my best friend has come to study abroad in our neighborhood thousands of kilometers away, and the lies that were only my wishes are all becoming reality.
If this isn't a blessing, I wouldn't be able to find a more appropriate word.
However, because of that, I'm just keeping my nerves a little more on edge.
Well...
It's a bit hard to explain exactly, but because everything is too perfect, the fear of that perfection being broken is even greater.
For example, when drawing a picture.
If you feel it's ruined from the very first line, you might draw the rest of the picture with a more relaxed mind.
On the contrary, if it starts to turn out far more perfectly than you intended, wouldn't you start drawing even a single line with incredible care?
Because you're afraid of ruining this perfect picture with your own hand.
It's a similar feeling.
At some point, the only thought I have when stepping onto the field is this:
Just a little bit, let me do better than the last game.
Since I couldn't do that in the Torino and Udinese games, I couldn't be satisfied.
"How is it? Is it uncomfortable?"
"No. It's fine."
"And this side?"
"This side seems fine too."
I answer with a thumbs up as the trainer kneads my body this way and that, asking questions.
I've stopped by the treatment room after training to get a massage.
"Ugh...!"
"What? Does it hurt?"
"Ah, no. It's just a strange feeling..."
"You have to tell me exactly. Does it hurt, or does it feel ticklish?"
"...It's ticklish."
I let out an involuntary strange sound as the trainer's thick fingers dig into the back of my calf.
Hearing this, the seniors who were also getting massages beside me burst into pointless laughter, and I buried my face in the round hole and gritted my teeth.
"..."
Actually, it hurts a lot.
It's not that it doesn't hurt when fingers dig deep between the muscle fibers.
Especially since the trainer kneading my calf now, Pablo, is famously known for his rough hands.
However, I can't just scream out unsightly. I'm afraid that if I show signs of pain for no reason, things might get complicated.
What if... this pain isn't just the kind you naturally feel during a massage, but a signal that something is wrong somewhere in my body?
I might not be able to train, or I might not be able to play in games.
That can't happen.
The me of now is very different from the me who used to raise my hand and signal for a substitution whenever I had a hard time.
The current me has a body that needs to do better next week than I did last week.
So I didn't want to create any unnecessary problems.
Ultimately, I think it's because I know it all too well.
The problems and worries I had were resolved solely because of my skills.
Thinking about it, isn't that the case?
The manager, the coaches, my senior teammates.
They all like me because of my skills.
The same goes for the fans who support our team.
Also, the reason my dad's face has brightened up, and the reason I can meet Jiu with a comfortable heart, are no different.
Every problem was solved because I was good at soccer.
I knew I wasn't the kind of person who could be loved just by standing still.
That's all it is, I just want to do better.
Things are going so perfectly these days that I even think it would be great if every day flowed just like this.
I don't want to break that perfection with my own hands.
That's why I want to do better, and I'm suppressing the screams that threaten to escape by biting my lip.
Well... to be honest, it also looked cool the way my seniors were getting massages so calmly, while I was writhing with every touch of their hands.
"Done. You should feel a lot better now."
"Whew... thank you..."
As the massage, which felt like an hour even though it was only a minute, ended, I let out a long sigh at the hand patting my back.
I pulled my buried face out and sat up. The trainer looked at my face and gave a small laugh.
"Your muscles are really knotted up all over. I think I need to talk to the manager about your playing time."
"Ah, it's fine. It feels like it's all loosened up now."
"It's just temporary. If fatigue builds up, recovery slows down too. For now, use a foam roller often at home too. And be more thorough with your warm-ups. Be careful."
"Yes. I'll do that."
I gave a deep bow to the trainer, who was sweating profusely, and left the treatment room.
My legs felt much lighter, which was a good feeling.
Foam roller.
Be more thorough with warm-ups.
As I pondered the trainer's words, I headed to the locker room to get my things.
A disturbance appearing in this perfect daily life was something I couldn't allow.
Even if you see someone's face every day, there are times when you feel incredibly glad to see that face in an unexpected place at an unexpected moment.
For example, when you happen to run into a classmate at a local bookstore.
Even family members you live with feel newly welcoming when you meet them outside the house.
So when I spotted Jiu on my way back from training, I couldn't help but widen my eyes in surprise.
"Hey!"
Seeing her walking along cheerfully with a backpack on, I couldn't help but smile and called out to her from a distance.
At that, Jiu's head whipped around, and her eyes met mine...
"...!"
Then Jiu's eyes widened to a size I had never seen before, and suddenly, she turned around and started running away.
"Wh-where are you going?"
Completely taken aback by her unexpected reaction, I called out to her once more, but Jiu just ran away as if she had met some kind of assailant.
It was strange.
Even if there have been more Asian tourists in the neighborhood lately, there's no way she didn't recognize me.
Why did she suddenly run away?
I felt dejected for no reason and trudged towards home, but what was even more absurd was that Jiu came to my house a little later.
And then she said this:
"Hey! How can you ambush someone when they're completely off guard! You really scared me!"
"...What are you talking about?"
"You saw me with no makeup on earlier! Ah, I was so startled. How could we meet there of all places."
"...So that's why you ran away?"
"Yeah! You pervert."
"Th... how on earth did that process lead to me becoming a pervert?"
"A woman's bare face is no different from being naked! You saw it, so you're a pervert."
"..."
I was so flabbergasted that I was at a loss for words.
It's absurd to be called a pervert, and it's also absurd that she ran away because she wasn't wearing makeup.
It was so ridiculous that I let out a hollow laugh, and Jiu pouted her lips.
"I usually go to school with no makeup on. And today, I didn't even have any tint on, so it was a completely bare face."
"...No, I don't get it."
"What?"
"Then what are you saying you put on now?"
At my question, Jiu rolled her eyes and looked up.
"Just... the basics?"
"For what?"
"...What do you mean, for what?"
"I'm asking why you'd put on makeup to come to my house."
"Wow, what are you thinking? You're not misunderstanding, are you? You don't know why people wear makeup?"
I obviously didn't know.
"It's for self-satisfaction, self-satisfaction. It's not to look good to someone else, it's based on my own mood."
"But you said you don't do it for school."
"That's because school is a place to go and study."
"...It's complicated."
"Don't try to understand it. Anyway, geez. You really scared the life out of me earlier. Hey, you couldn't see my face clearly from back then, right? Right?"
I thought back for a moment at Jiu's question.
She was a bit far away, but I saw her clearly.
I have good eyes.
But for some reason, I felt like I shouldn't answer that I saw her eyes, nose, and mouth clearly.
"...I didn't see."
"Really? Then that's fine."
Fortunately, my intuition seemed to be right.
At my answer that I hadn't seen, Jiu nodded, and only then did she stop huffing and start humming a tune.
And as I watched Jiu like that, I shook my head.
I just don't get it.
Even if it's for self-satisfaction... wasn't she prettier earlier, when she had no makeup on?
I had no way of knowing why she was embarrassed about that.
Especially when she looked perfectly fine just as she was.
···
Serie A, Round 30.
We welcomed Empoli FC to our home.
Currently, Empoli was a team sitting in 14th place in the league, and for us, whose goal was to maintain 2nd or at least 3rd place, it was a team we had to beat.
That's why the captain's voice was more powerful than ever.
"Our goal today is to win cleanly, without any lingering dissatisfaction. I don't want to be overly serious for a game like this anymore. Let's take down Empoli easily."
"Okay!"
"Now, Forza─!"
"Viola─!!"
The other seniors also shouted "Viola" with refreshed voices and dispersed to their positions.
I too shook my legs and walked towards the center circle.
Although it was back in my U17 days, Empoli was a team that held good memories for me.
It was against Empoli that I made my first start.
And in that game, I had scored two goals and recorded one assist.
Most importantly, I received the call to discuss a professional contract right after that game.
The reason I could be earning four thousand euros a week now was all thanks to that Empoli game.
Because of that, I had a good feeling about today.
Tap, tap-
I kept shaking my legs as I waited for the referee's whistle.
Following the trainer's advice, I had warmed up much more thoroughly than usual today.
Thanks to that, my body was already heated up as if I had been running for 10 minutes, so the wait for the whistle felt especially long today.
It's a game our team must win today, and it's also a good opportunity to resolve the personal dissatisfaction I felt in the last two games.
Because of that...
Peeeeeeep-!
The referee's whistle blew, and after sending the ball back, I started my run with more vigor than ever before.