Chapter 22
Chapter 22
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 22
Chapter Title: That Team in Turin - Part 1
-----------------------------------------------------------------
"Okay, that's enough. Let's take a short break."
"Hah... Yes, sir."
"What's this? Your breathing is perfectly fine? Was the training not that hard? You should have a look on your face like you're about to die."
"Huh? Ah, ah."
"Haha! I'm joking. Just kidding."
I let out a hollow laugh at Coach Luca's words.
Egok.
Today, after finishing the team training, I was having a personal training session with Coach Luca again.
As usual, I trained dribbling and shooting with the coach, and even finished up with some physical conditioning.
Still, perhaps because I've been at it for a while now, I don't feel like I'm about to die like I used to.
Even though the training sessions keep getting more intense.
Maybe my body has adapted.
Or maybe it's just because summer is passing by.
"It's a bit refreshing to be doing this now."
"For real. It's getting cooler."
It's definitely gotten a bit cooler.
The midday sun is still hot, but when it's time for personal training like this, I can clearly feel that the angle of the sun is much lower.
It seems autumn is already on its way.
It started as summer. The thought that the days I've trained hard, one by one, have piled up as time has passed, makes me feel proud.
Time really does fly. I'm changing too.
"Ah, right. Come to think of it, you got your first weekly wage last week, didn't you?"
"Ah, yes."
"How was it? The feeling?"
"Hmm... I was grateful. Grateful to you, Coach, and to the manager, my friends, and the team too..."
"What is there to be grateful to me for?"
"If it weren't for you, Coach, I might not have even gotten the contract."
"Haha. What did I do? You earned it by working hard."
I feel the sweat cooling as I share a small talk with the coach.
Actually, more than the weather or the height of the sun, it's moments like these that make me feel the passage of time.
When I discover myself, able to freely exchange personal stories with the coach like this.
It was awkward at first.
No, rather than awkward, the coach didn't care about me at all. Not just the coach, but everyone. I was just a nobody.
There were more days than not when I'd come to the training ground and go home without a single word.
The kids I trained with didn't even know my name well.
And yet, now I'm even having small talk with the coach like this, and I talk a lot during team training too. Sometimes the kids tease me in the locker room, and I've learned to laugh and play along.
Looking back on it now...
I get the feeling that I was deceiving myself back then. I thought that being treated like a nobody was actually comfortable and nice.
But now is much more enjoyable. Maybe back then, it wasn't that it was truly comfortable and nice, but that I had no choice but to think so.
Thinking about it now, all I needed was a little bit of courage. Just a tiny bit of courage to participate earnestly in training, to speak up and say I'll try it first. That would have been enough.
Just like now.
Why was taking this small step so frightening?
What was so scary that I hid away on my own isolated island? I was content just to survive day by day, but why couldn't I muster the courage to set out to the sea again?
I didn't even know that was dying, not living.
I was so foolish, wasn't I?
"Well, was there anything you wanted to do after getting your wage? I went out for a drink as soon as I signed my pro contract."
"...Drink?"
"I signed when I was twenty, you punk."
"Ah... I had a meal with my dad and a friend I've been close with since I was little. I bought them a gift too."
"...That's the complete opposite of me. Is this friend a girl?"
"Yes. She's a girl, but she's just a friend."
"So, your girlfriend."
"...She's just a friend."
"You buy a gift for a 'just a friend' with your first wage?"
"She's the only friend I have, that's why."
"That's what you call a girlfriend."
"I'm telling you, she's just a friend."
"Alright, alright. Don't get mad."
When I pouted my lips at the coach's teasing, he let out a hearty laugh.
"Anyway, she must be a precious friend, then."
"...Yes, she is."
She's not my girlfriend, but... she is a precious friend.
No matter the reason, it's a fact that it was because of Ji-woo that I, who was hiding on my isolated island, found the courage.
I, who didn't want my solitary kingdom to be exposed as a shabby, isolated island, had no choice but to muster the courage to get back on the ship.
I wanted to introduce Ji-woo to my island, to tell her it was bigger and better. So, even though I was scared, I set out for the sea again.
But, in doing so, I realized something.
The sea was calmer than I thought. The sea in my memory was a scary place with raging storms. But when I actually gathered my courage and tried again, it wasn't like that at all.
It was plenty navigable.
"You must have felt proud, and a little puffed up with pride. Right?"
"Well... haha."
"You must have thought you had to train even harder. Right?"
"...Yes. I did. A lot."
I nodded at the coach's words.
The thought that I had to train even harder. I felt it a lot.
After all, I still haven't reached that island yet.
The road is still long. I'm lucky to be sailing on calm waters now, but I never know when I'll encounter a big wave.
But I can't go back now.
It's not just because I don't want my lies to be discovered. It's because I don't want to go back to my isolated island anymore.
To do that, I have no choice but to row harder. I won't return to my isolated island anymore, even if I meet a storm.
I will definitely reach a large and beautiful island.
"Coach."
"Hmm?"
"I... I want to play well in this week's match."
"...Huh?"
"I feel like that's the only way I can keep working hard from now on."
"...Right. I see. You will do well."
This weekend, our team is going on an away trip to Turin.
Because that team in Turin is our opponent.
To be honest... I'm still scared.
I've had the thought that I don't want to go countless times.
I like Florence and I hate Turin. I was swept away by the waves I met there and drifted all the way to my isolated island. I didn't want to go back there.
But... I want to be brave.
I feel that if I can't overcome my fear here again, I won't be able to head out towards a bigger sea from now on.
And, I already know this.
That if I just close my eyes and muster my courage just once, it won't be so difficult afterward.
So I'm going to try to be brave this time as well.
Last Monday, when I had a meal and went shopping with my dad and Ji-woo, that was to get the strength to take that leap of faith. Seeing the way they looked at me with pride, I felt like I had to find a courage I didn't even have.
"Right. Let's just have fun playing the match."
"Yes."
"They're nothing special, you know that, right?"
"I know."
I nodded and looked at the sun, which had now turned orange.
"..."
Then, it suddenly occurred to me.
Why am I suddenly acting so cool like this?
What's with the isolated island and the storm?
Ugh, this is so cringey.
Phew... It's a good thing I'm only thinking this. If I had written this in a diary or something, I would've kicked my blankets in regret later. I'm past the age for middle-schooler sickness, so why am I acting like this?
They say men get sentimental in the fall.
The autumn sun is so scary.
···
"Did anyone leave their luggage behind?"
"No, we didn't!"
"Good. Let's get going."
With a low rumble, the bus starts to move.
The bus, carrying twenty kids and a few adults, is headed for Turin.
It leaves the city at a slow speed, and once the vast vineyards start to appear outside the window, the bus picks up quite a bit of speed.
After staring at the rapidly passing scenery outside for a long time, a thought suddenly crossed my mind.
Can't we go a little slower?
I wish we could go slowly.
Is there any need to go so fast?
"..."
Actually, Turin is quite far from Florence.
No, it's very far. It takes more than 5 hours by car.
Five hours sounds like a short time, but five hours spent in a cramped bus is almost like ten.
And I can't even sleep properly. If I sleep now, I won't be able to sleep at night, which will affect tomorrow's match.
So, there's no reason to go slowly.
And yet, I have this feeling that I wish we could go a little slower. Why is that? I was talking about courage and all, but am I still scared?
"..."
I remember the first time I arrived in Turin.
I still remember that time vividly.
The feeling of alienation the moment I stepped off the plane.
The people walking by were all foreigners, and there wasn't a single word I could read.
Even the smell of the air was different, so everything was unfamiliar.
So I remember that I held my dad's hand tightly until we got out of the airport and into a taxi.
Back then, I was only 13. It was like I was five years old or something.
For me, unfamiliarity was synonymous with fear.
It was even worse before my first training session.
I was as nervous as I was before starting elementary school for the first time.
I couldn't sleep a wink the night before.
But to say I'm scared now, we've already come a long way.
I remember enduring the stomach ache and heading to the training ground.
To be honest, my first impression on the kids there probably wasn't very good.
I understand. They spoke to me first, but I couldn't answer a single word.
There was a teacher who provided interpretation, but they weren't always by my side.
In the locker room, or in the cafeteria... the kids played pranks on me at all hours. They'd throw things at me, or eat my food.
But when I didn't play along, the pranks gradually turned into bullying.
One day, I opened my locker and it was full of garbage. It was a mess with leftover snack bags, milk cartons, banana peels, and the moment I opened that locker, the kids burst out laughing.
By then, I couldn't take it anymore, so I told the interpretation teacher.
And the next day, or was it the day after?
The coach scolded the kids, but that was it.
It just ended with him telling them not to do it again.
There was no solution offered to me.
He just told me to think about adapting quickly, that it was partly my fault for not blending into the team.
In the end, I thought maybe if I just played soccer well, everything would be solved... but that didn't work out either.
My skills, which weren't great to begin with, weren't showing up well, and the kids didn't help me either.
There was a kid who would only go hard into tackles with me during training, and another who would never pass the ball to me no matter what.
It was an everyday occurrence for them to pretend to make a mistake and kick the ball at me.
Thinking back on it now... it was so foolish.
If I was treated like that, I should have fought back, or at least told my dad about it early on.
I was scared of both.
"..."
Actually, to call that me foolish... the me now doesn't seem to have changed much either.
Since I'm still scared and wishing the bus would go slower.
Will I really be able to go out on the field and play well against those kids?
I still don't know.
But... it was all the same anyway.
Did I think I would play well in the Napoli match and then run? No, I just ran desperately with courage, that's all.
This time is the same.
It's not important that I feel scared.
It's doing it even when I'm scared.
This is one thing... I think I've changed now, too.
I definitely have regrets.
Why couldn't I do anything back then, and just faced everything alone?
Why didn't I think of fighting back?
I want to erase those regrets.
With this opportunity.
Vrooooom-
Feeling a vibration from my pocket, I take my eyes off the scenery outside. I take out my phone to check, and it's a message from Ji-woo.
Ji-woo: School's over
Ji-woo: Are you on your way?? On the bus??
I reply saying yes, and another reply comes right away.
Ji-woo: You're playing against that team you were on before, right?
Ji-woo: The one you said you left because it wasn't a good fit
Ji-woo: Go get 'em!!
Ji-woo: Don't you go boo-hooing just because I'm not there
Ji-woo: You got it???
...Who said anything about boo-hooing?
I was trying to act cool by looking out the window. Ji-woo never gives me a moment to be alone with my thoughts.
Now that I think about it... she's always been like this.
Whenever I fall into a deep, dark thought, Ji-woo would talk to me, and by talking with her, I could escape those dark thoughts.
The reason I could even breathe was probably because she provided that ventilation for me.
I sent a reply.
Me: I'm going to kill them all and come back
I sent that... and then suddenly thought it was a bit much, so I turned my phone back on.
And just as I was about to delete the message, the '1' had already disappeared.
"..."
I watched as the screen filled up with 'ㅋ' characters, put my phone back in my pocket, and quietly looked out the window.
My face felt hot.