A World Without Karens...?
"Hey, part-timer! Why's my coffee taking so damn long? Don't you know how busy I am?"
It was Thursday at 7 p.m. In the heart of Gangnam, at an atmospheric private cafe. A pointing finger flew over the counter, and I swallowed a short sigh inside.
"D-Do-hyun, help me out..."
Ah, it's starting again. Why are there so many Karens today?
I was cursing up a storm inwardly, but as a slave to capitalism, my outward appearance remained perfectly serene. No, it was practically saintly. I rolled up my sleeves to lightly reveal the toned muscles on my forearms, then equipped the capitalism smile I'd honed over three years of service jobs.
"Oh, ma'am! So sorry to keep you waiting~ We've got a bit of a backlog from previous orders. I'll make it as quick as possible! Super delicious too, I promise—just a tiny bit longer, okay..?"
Soft voice. Cushion words perfectly matching her mood. Add in the neat, warm looks and the killer smile radiating from them, and the middle-aged woman who'd been fuming like she was about to flip the place moments ago was left speechless by my service spirit. She quietly backed down.
"Huh? Well... fine. Just hurry up!"
Situation resolved. Do-hyun flashed a soulless smile like nothing happened and expertly pulled an espresso shot.
He couldn't even remember his parents' faces, and the insurance money they'd left was tied up with a guardian until he turned twenty. An orphan living alone. The one reason he put up with all these Karens at such a young age for part-time gigs was simple.
Tomorrow's finally the Elden Souls Limited Edition release. Once I snag that, I'm quitting part-time work and going full NEET until I see the ending...
"Ah, oops! Sorry!"
Then, a sharp shattering sound and a panicked voice erupted from behind the counter. It was Ji-eun, the college student noona who'd just started a month ago. Distracted by the piling receipts, she'd dropped a smoothie cup on the floor. To make matters worse, heavy 12-packs of milk from the storage room had tumbled down right at her feet, even the milk crate rolling around.
"What do I do? More customers are coming—I gotta clean this up fast...!"
Ji-eun's face crumpled as she flailed around, trying to pick up the broken plastic shards with her bare hands.
"Noona! Don't touch it. You'll get hurt."
A low, calm voice cut in abruptly. I'd already approached and gently grabbed her wrist to stop her. As she looked up in surprise, there I was, apron neatly tied over my uniform, gazing down at her with an impassive expression.
"D-Do-hyun..."
"You don't touch sharp broken stuff with bare hands. Step back."
Too busy to even make proper eye contact, I grabbed a broom and mop, sweeping and mopping the floor in seconds. The precise way I cleaned aligned perfectly with the floorboards—a pro part-timer's movements, ingrained to the bone from service jobs and warehouse gigs.
In just over a minute, the floor was spotless again. I effortlessly lifted the milk crate she'd been struggling with using one hand. Forearms toned from past jobs. The compact, battle-hardened muscles under my sleeves made it easy.
"Heavy stuff like this, ask me or the other guy part-timers. If you strain and drop it or hurt your back, it's a headache. You came in last time with that wrist pain, sticking on a patch, right?"
Casual half-respectful tone laced with detailed memory. To me, it was just checking a coworker's condition per the 'work manual'—thorough efficiency to avoid delays in my precious quitting time from a newbie getting hurt.
But to her twenty-year-old ears, it sounded like perfect flirting.
"Y-You remembered my wrist hurt...?"
"What... it's basic as a coworker. If you're struggling, I'll take care of it, so don't worry—just tell me."
Her face flushed like an active volcano. Embarrassed as the older one, she cupped her red cheeks with both hands and took deep breaths.
"Th-tha... thanks...! I'll clean up at closing and buy you dinner!"
...Dinner? Work ends at 9, and she's gonna steal my time for food?
"Nah. Let's just finish the orders. Gotta clock out sharp today."
Sharp clock-out. Yeah. That was my top priority. Today, I had to hunt the new mob in Drake Hunter that I'd been waiting for. And tomorrow was the big Elden Souls Limited Edition release. Had to settle up today's pay, clock out on time, farm mobs quick, sleep, then dash to Gukjeon for the open run. For that holy goal, cleaning someone else's mess was nothing—I'd do it a hundred times.
I'd just refilled the fridge with milk at light speed and returned to the counter for a breather when—
"Do you do group orders?"
Group order. That hellish echo... On a day like this, right before closing in this warzone hour...
"Um... how many drinks?"
Forcing a capitalism smile, I asked.
"Hmm... 5 iced Americanos, 3 cappuccinos, 2 Java Chip Choco Smoothies, 1 hibiscus tea, 5 caramel macchiatos, 3 hot chocolates, 2 cafe mochas, 4 decaf iced Americanos. Total 30."
Wow... Of all days, this many? Don't people go to places with loose closing or chains for this? Why our little neighborhood cafe?!
No choice. Pro part-timer's gotta turn it down. For my precious clock-out...
"W-We close soon..."
"Of course we can! We'll push closing if we have to!"
The damn Cafe Owner/Manager butted in, shattering my clock-out plan.
"Do-hyun... please, I'll up your hourly! Just grind today... No more orders after this!"
Ha... fine, just this once... really...
"Yay, thanks! Then throw in 5 slices of cake and 5 waffles?"
Nooooo!!!! That's not helping, that's a nuisance!!!!!
"Alright, Do-hyun! 1.5x hourly! Let's go!"
At the manager's cheery shout, I retied my apron strings, shedding bloody tears inside.
Capitalism... fucking capitalism.
I immediately kicked into part-time mode. Both hands gripping shot glasses, firing up two espresso machines at once.
"Noona! Fold 5 cake boxes ahead, preheat waffle iron to 200! Pull all three blenders, set ice!"
"Huh? Oh! Got it!"
Orders poured from my mouth like a field commander. My body moved like a machine. Right hand tamping, left steaming milk. While three smoothie blenders roared, I poured waffle batter, set timers.
Click, click, whirr—! Beep!
"5 Americanos up! Java Chip smoothies next!"
Customers gawked, mouths agape, as I buzzed around the counter like an eight-armed asura.
Faster... shave off every second and clock out. My new mob's waiting!
Fueled by blind faith in 'clock-out then game,' I pulled off the miracle of 30 drinks and 10 desserts in one hour.
"Thanks! Come again!"
With half my soul gone in a smile, I saw them off and collapsed behind the counter. Burned out white.
****
Time flew to 10 p.m. Back in my cramped studio after clocking out, I tossed clothes aside and dove into bed.
"Haa... wanna be a rich NEET..."
Mumbling at the ceiling, I flicked on the console like always. Vibrant graphics filled the monitor, washing away the day's Karen fatigue.
Familiar logo, pounding BGM. Fantasy world of smashing dinos with a massive greatsword. I'm game-addicted. No, one with games.
I transferred my coffee-machine frenzy straight to the controller.
Tap-tap-tak!
My character frame-dodged a house-sized drake's tail swing by 0.1 seconds, then slammed the greatsword into its skull.
"Ha, my reflexes haven't died."
10,000-won hourly part-timer in reality, but here? I'm the boss. Downside: gotta keep the gigs to live like this.
"Want a quiet life, no Karens, no watching eyes. Can't I just game in my room forever..."
Eyelids drooped heavy, controller in hand, staring blankly at the screen. Tomorrow was a weekday—school. Annoying, but sleep won. Clutching the controller, I plunged into deep slumber.
***
Eyes opened to all-night game glow and blinding sunlight. Hurried into uniform, grabbed phone, headed out. But en route to school, an eerie dissonance crept in.
Billboards showed muscle-bound male idols in cosmetics ads, not girl groups. Construction fences revealed burly women in hard hats hauling rebar. Street guys strutted with heavy makeup, luxury wrapped, noses high.
"...What? Hidden camera?"
Do-hyun trudged to school with unease, through the gates, to the classroom. Then, opening the back door of Class 2-3.
"Jae-min! Movie this weekend~?"
"Nah, seen it."
"Haven't even said the title..."
Over thirty girls crammed the room. Center: one guy lounging like an emperor on his throne, legs crossed arrogantly. Girls fidgeting around him. Another guy snickering at the sight.
Do-hyun froze in the doorway at the unimaginable scene.
What? Where are all the boys?
And thirty girls whipped heads toward me, standing dumbstruck in the door. Sticky, dangerous gazes stabbed my whole body, like they'd been waiting.