Does This Even Work?
"Why are you crying like that?"
"It hurts... knowing you saw me that way."
Gwang-deok pulled a tissue from the box sitting to one side and held it out to her.
"Here. Wipe your tears with this. Crying like that only hurts you."
"Ugh..."
But Ju Han-yeong showed no sign of stopping easily.
Watching her, Gwang-deok hesitated a moment over what to do, then subtly lifted his hips and shifted sideways, closing the distance between them.
"It's nothing to be that sad about."
"Don't try to comfort me..."
"I'm not trying to comfort you. I'm saying you should actually be glad."
Learning the truth(?) had already left her chest aching this badly, yet he was telling her she ought to be happy about it.
It was a statement she couldn't possibly understand, yet Han-yeong seemed to take the bait. She lowered her hands and looked up at him with tear-soaked eyes.
"Think about it. If you'd never found out, you wouldn't get hurt right now. But you were always going to get hurt eventually."
"Why...?"
"Because once he meokbeo'd you, that's when the real pain would hit."
"Ah..."
"Is it better to take the hit now, or wait until later when the meokbeo is even worse and the wound cuts deeper? That's the only difference."
Sensing she was hanging on his every word, Gwang-deok pressed the advantage and kept talking.
"Honestly, finding out now is the lucky break. You want to stay unhurt for now, give him everything, then get dumped and feel the real pain later?"
Han-yeong immediately shook her head.
"Think about your brother. Han-hyeok was exactly like that. You've seen him cycle through girls one after another."
She nodded.
Even though her brother had been a delinquent and the two of them had gotten along well as siblings, Han-yeong knew full well that as a school bully he hadn't been a good person. More than anything, she had seen how he treated Gwang-deok more than once—ordering him around like a bread shuttle, dragging him about like a servant.
"Your brother being a delinquent might've made your own school life pretty smooth, but this time you were the one who became the real target."
"So... it's actually a good thing?"
"Would you rather be sad after it happens, or sad before it happens?"
The phrasing was a little off, but Gwang-deok figured even this would sound perfectly logical to her.
"I'd rather be sad before it happens."
Just as expected, Han-yeong accepted his words as reasonable.
"Then is crying your eyes out right now the right call, or not?"
She shook her head.
"It's not..."
"Then it's a good thing, right?"
"I... guess so..."
The wound and the sense of betrayal had made her chest ache and her heart surge until the tears poured out, but now that she thought it through carefully, realizing the truth in advance was a thousand times better than actually getting meokbeo'd and discarded later.
"Exactly. You're seriously lucky."
He held out another tissue, and this time she took it, dabbing the tears from her eyes. Then she looked at Gwang-deok and gave him a shy little smile.
"Thank you, oppa."
"Lucky you found out the real face of that senior guy thanks to me, right?"
"Yes. I really almost got into big trouble."
"That's why even something that looks bad can turn out to be an opportunity if you look at it right. I basically saved you."
Han-yeong nodded.
"I'm pretty damn nice myself. Even after getting called 'loser oppa,' I still came here and rescued you."
"I'm truly sorry for calling you that at the convenience store. Let me apologize again right here."
"You really mean it?"
"Yes. I think what I said was too harsh."
Han-yeong was sincerely sorry. The reason she had treated him to chimaek at the chicken place was because that guilt had been so overwhelming.
Should I try something?
Watching her, Gwang-deok felt his words landing so perfectly that—even if it was a gamble—he wanted to test how far he could push it.
He picked up his coffee cup, wet his lips lightly, and used the moment to settle his nerves.
"You know something?"
"Yes?"
"Back in first year of high school, one weekend when you were home with Han-hyeok, he called me over. Said he had something to pass to Kang-su and couldn't be bothered going himself, so he summoned me to your house."
"Ah... yes. I remember."
"That was the first time I saw you. You were in third year of middle school, watching from the side of the living room while your brother made me run errands."
"Yes..."
Han-yeong remembered it too. That was the first time she had laid eyes on Gwang-deok, and she had realized this oppa was marked by her delinquent older brother and forced into bread-shuttle duty. From that day on, the image of "loser oppa" had been stamped into her mind.
"I'll be honest with you right here, right now. Getting dragged out on a weekend to play bread shuttle was so fucking humiliating... but once I saw you, I couldn't take my eyes off you."
"Y-yes...?"
Han-yeong looked flustered.
"I've been thinking about you ever since. You were my first love."
"......!"
Her eyes flew wide, pupils trembling.
Does even this work?
Gwang-deok was just as tense as the startled girl in front of him.
First love. He actually did have someone like that. But sitting here saying it out loud—that first love had never been Ju Han-yeong. So why was he lying right now? Because he knew his words landed as pure logic on women. He had already walked into her place and completely trashed that senior guy's image; now he was testing whether this would stick too.
"I... I was... oppa's... first love...?"
She managed the question in a trembling voice.
"Yeah. Otherwise why the hell would I come all the way here after getting called 'loser oppa'? It's been over four years. I'm twenty-one now. Want me to tell you one more thing?"
"Yes?"
"I've never had a girlfriend even once, all the way to twenty-one. Know why?"
"M-maybe..."
Gwang-deok nodded with the most serious eyes he could manage.
"Yeah. Because I still like you."
"......!"
Han-yeong stared at him in fresh shock.
I never dated because I'm a loser, but whatever.
Of course that was a lie too. For a timid, awkward guy who had never even held a proper conversation with a girl, getting a girlfriend was like a boss-raid quest. So why was he running his mouth like this in front of Han-yeong? One reason only: the more they talked, the more certain he became that no matter how clumsily or crudely he spoke, it would work on her. He was moving past hope into conviction that this was the special ability he'd been given.
"Do you have any idea how shocked I was when I stopped by the convenience store today and saw you? I thought I'd never see you again, and then there you were, right at the register. When I bought that canned coffee and paid—you saw how badly I was shaking, right?"
"I... I think so."
Not even close.
"Right? So when you called me 'loser oppa,' how much do you think that hurt?"
"......"
Han-yeong nodded again, guilt flooding her face. She had never imagined he liked her that much. And she had gone and called that friend of her brother's a loser—how deep must the wound have been?
"And you think I made you buy me chicken just for the hell of it? Even after hearing 'loser oppa,' even after that humiliation, I asked for chimaek just so I could look at your face one more time."
"......!"
Gwang-deok watched a faint flush rise across her startled cheeks.
"Then I see interlocking fingers on your KakaoTalk profile. And it turns out it's only been a week, and that senior's Instagram is pure player energy. My first love is about to get meokbeo'd—you think I'm just going to sit there and watch?"
"...Oppa."
Her eyes grew moist.
"You understand how I feel now?"
"Yes..."
She nodded shyly.
"I... want to stay with you tonight. Is that okay?"
In that moment Gwang-deok gambled one more time. If this offer landed, he truly possessed a special power. If it didn't, the disappointment in whatever that mysterious man had given him would be crushing.
Please work.
He thought it desperately as he lifted the coffee cup and wet his throat.
"I... it's fine."
Fuck, it failed.
The tension drained out of him, disappointment flooding in.
Figures.
But Han-yeong wasn't finished.
"Being with oppa... I think that would be... okay..."
"?!"
Time passed.
Before long the table was cleared and Han-yeong had laid out bedding on the floor so Gwang-deok could sleep. He stepped into the bathroom, came back out, and lay down.
"I'll turn off the light."
"Yeah."
She pressed the switch, killing the fluorescent, then walked to the bed and settled comfortably. She was wearing a short-sleeved T-shirt and sleep pants.
"Sleeping with the AC on feels great."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"You said you live in a rooftop room, right?"
"Yeah. No AC, so I just run a fan."
"The landlady won't install one?"
"Apparently the options don't go that far."
"I see..."
In the darkened room they traded small talk back and forth.
"You know something? This is the first time I've ever slept in a girl's room like this."
"Me too..."
"What do you mean?"
"This is the first time I've ever slept alone with a man who isn't my real older brother, not since I was little."
"Yeah, that makes sense."
But Gwang-deok knew the truth. Even without him, Han-yeong would soon have been sleeping in this one-room apartment with a man who wasn't family. Having a boyfriend meant she would eventually sleep with him—on that very bed, with that senior. But I stopped that. And the one spending the night in her room wasn't that senior; it was him.
Getting this far means I've already won.
Even a virgin loser like Gwang-deok understood what this situation meant. The fact that she had accepted him staying the night meant she was prepared.
How much time passed? Conversation eventually stopped, leaving only the quiet sound of breathing. No words came from the bed where Han-yeong lay. No rustling either. But Gwang-deok knew she wasn't asleep.
Time to move.
Slowly he sat up in the darkness, then crept toward the bed on quiet hands and knees.
Tonight I leave my virginity behind!
By the time this night was over, the virgin loser Lee Gwang-deok would no longer exist.