Recognized
The tears only came once I had bowed in greeting and was walking back to my seat. Clutching the trophy tight in my hand, I returned to Director So.
"Director... look, look—my name's engraved right here...."
"I know. You did wonderfully. Aigoo, really... don't cry."
Director So patted my shoulder, and the cameras captured the whole scene. From the MC's seat, Yoon Hyeon-jo chimed in with a joke.
"Yes. She delivers her acceptance speech calmly and flawlessly, then goes back to her seat and cries. Extremely efficient. A moment longer and she might have ruined her speech with all that crying."
Laughter filled the hall. My face was reflected on the big screen. I'd wiped my tears away quickly, but they kept coming anyway.
My first acting award ever. The trophy glittered under the lights.
"I knew it! I knew you'd do well! Aww—my little Kkamjjik-i!"
This was the marketing office at JC ENM's new Cheongdam headquarters. Manager Ma, who had been watching the broadcast live, burst into applause. The foundation for the branding had been laid long ago; all that remained was for Han Yeo-reum to grow exactly according to his plan.
"How is she this good, huh? Perfect! Just perfect!"
They had made it to the final shortlist of the Seoul International Drama Awards. A rookie director and a rookie actress—the two of them alone. That was more than enough to build a brand on. It fit the keyword of genuinely skilled perfectly.
"Oh, by the way, Team Leader Hong. It's me. Let's do a little comparison with Do Gyeo-ul. Why? No, no, you're right—this isn't the time to be picking fights. Her fans might get a bit riled up. But so what? Everyone in this industry does it."
Manager Ma called the PR team right away, his eyes skimming rapidly over articles the whole time.
"The Jury Special Award, Seonwoo Seon-uk sitting on that panel, and—oh—and Do Gyeo-ul getting shredded by the critics. How fun is this? We need to sketch the frame and paint the picture ourselves before anyone else does, otherwise some other outlet will go and make it way more inflammatory. Right? We go with, hmm... friendly rivals. Isn't that lovely? Two fresh little sprouts cheering each other on."
Reporters with quick fingers were already cranking out articles with Han Yeo-reum's name in them, one after another. Perfectly measured, perfectly safe pieces.
But this wasn't what Manager Ma wanted. He needed something more—a lever that would send Han Yeo-reum soaring even faster.
"The faster we raise her, the more fun the next round gets!"
"Heh. That maniac, honestly."
"What did you say?"
"He wants us to trust him for once."
Articles and press releases were technically the PR team's domain, but that didn't mean they could ignore the opinion of JC ENM's other Jegal Rok—the man everyone called that maniac. Provocative, sure, but dead certain.
"What do we do, then?"
"Let's wait a bit, kid."
The articles JC ENM had intended were already out: Han Yeo-reum's award, how prestigious a stage the Seoul International Drama Awards was, how dazzling the efforts of a rookie director and rookie actress shooting on a shoestring budget had been, and how netizens were reacting to her acceptance speech.
Model-citizen information, delivered straight into the public's hands.
"Honestly, the reporters have been trying to stir up some delicate rivalry with Do Gyeo-ul since last time anyway. I think Manager Ma's idea isn't bad."
"Agreed. People reading articles love it when you toss them something juicy. Just build the frame around Seonwoo Seon-uk being on the awards panel this time—'the Han Yeo-reum Seonwoo Seon-uk himself recognized'—then dig up his old critical review of Do Gyeo-ul and bump it back onto the forums."
"Then people will get the vibe on their own. Do Gyeo-ul has a script reading tomorrow, so it'd be a good pre-emptive strike, too."
Hearing opinions flying in from every direction, Team Leader Hong mulled it over for a moment, then said:
"No. Full stop."
He shook his head.
"Huh? Why? This is literally the perfect moment, Team Leader."
Rookie Shin, who had been typing away, voiced his confusion. Team Leader Hong answered with his usual easy, chuckling smile.
"Pairing them up as classmates from the same acting school—that much is fine. School ties, blood ties, regional ties, those are staple material. But you can't compare two people when nothing's actually been pinned between them."
Do Gyeo-ul hadn't even been nominated at this Seoul International Drama Awards. She had paused her career for a stretch to prepare for college admissions.
"At the very least, let's put them on the same stage before we have them fight. Hm?"
In the end, JC ENM's PR team did not follow Manager Ma's plan.
Team Leader Hong would later explain it this way: Manager Ma believed that to brand Han Yeo-reum as the unchallenged top of her generation, they first had to show the public that there was no actress worthy of standing beside her. Team Leader Hong, on the other hand, replied that the public would come to feel exactly that, and soon enough.
"Anyone would think Team Leader Hong is the one doing her branding."
"Heh. Anyone would think Manager Ma is doing her PR."
Manager Ma's position: branding is the company's job, and so is publicity.
Team Leader Hong's position: branding may be the company's job, but the best publicity comes from the public. The two men's views clashed for quite a while.
"Come on, how long have you been doing PR? Remember every time we launched a new show? You were practically going shotgun with both barrels, Team Leader Hong. The terrestrial network that lost to cable. How many shows did we burn through like that? We're all people who know exactly what's what here, come on."
"I know, I know. Until now, that's been the fundamentals of our show business."
"Then why—!"
"Manager Ma. Have we ever actually raised a talent under our own agency from scratch like this?"
Manager Ma's mouth shut. Team Leader Hong was right. JC ENM had built project-variety groups out of celebrities who already belonged to other agencies, but it had never once taken in a chick and raised it itself.
"I want to make something really good this time. Something where anyone who looks would go, whoa. I want to make JC's flagship. The scraps of paper that come flying off the presses don't satisfy me anymore. A star raised by JC. How good does that sound? Let's take it one careful step at a time."
A star raised by JC.
At those words, Manager Ma's shoulders sagged. Whatever the method, the two of them had arrived at the same conclusion. Only the road differed; the destination was the same.
"And who knows? Maybe we won't even need that kind of branding and PR. Maybe there'll be nothing left for us to do at all."
"Listen to yourself. What in the entertainment industry runs without marketing and PR?"
"A real star shines even without the spotlight, that's just how it works."
"You're always such a smooth talker...."
In the end, it closed with Manager Ma raising the white flag.
"...But if she actually ends up on the same stage as Do Gyeo-ul, then you have to say yes to my plan, no arguments. Deal?"
"Even if you didn't ask, I would. When the kid's grown enough to fight over Best Supporting Actress, Best Actress, the Daesang—that's when we do it!"
JC ENM issued no separate instructions, but a handful of reporters who specialized in sensational pieces went ahead and wrote exactly what Manager Ma wanted anyway, setting Do Gyeo-ul's name right beside Han Yeo-reum's.
Cheap, third-rate articles that anyone could see through—ones that made some readers smirk with interest and others furrow their brows. They were an eyesore.
"...."
Gyeo-ul read the articles. Then read them again.
"Gyeo-ul, you didn't sleep? Your eyes are all bloodshot. Go to bed early tonight, okay?"
The next morning, Do Gyeo-ul's manager, arriving with her for the script reading, was startled by her haggard appearance. Never once had Do Gyeo-ul—who was always dead serious about condition management—looked like this.
"...I couldn't sleep."
"Goodness, what happened? Come on, tell me—just tell me. We can talk on the way to the studio."
Gyeo-ul gazed out the window. A pleasantly crisp, cool autumn was drawing near. Her manager watched her through the vanity mirror.
"Gyeo-ul. Why couldn't you sleep?"
Gyeo-ul cracked the window open, let the wind hit her face, and then spoke.
"Because I want to be recognized."
"For one script reading? You, Do Gyeo-ul?"
Her manager laughed as if the very idea were absurd. This was Do Gyeo-ul, who had never missed a script reading for any project, big or small. A veteran among veterans, losing sleep over wanting recognition?
"Is it because it's your first romance? It must feel like a lot of pressure, doing something this charged now that you're an adult."
Gyeo-ul knew perfectly well how she was supposed to answer in moments like this.
Whatever lay in her heart had to be hidden, buried, sealed up tight so that no one—not anyone—could ever see it.
As taught by Do Mun-jeong.
"...I suppose so."
It's not Han Yeo-reum I want recognized—it's me. Even if I have to steal everything that's hers, I want to be recognized. Let Han Yeo-reum disappear, and let me stand in that place—like Han Yeo-reum. More than Han Yeo-reum.
"I want to be recognized."