Episode 4: The Swap
"Hey, Han Yeo-reum! Normally you'd at least give me a heads-up before an appointment, right? Huh? Weren't we supposed to meet just the two of us today?"
"I'm leaving."
The two of them fired off whatever was on their minds at me. I looked at Jun-seo, already halfway out the door, and said,
"I'm sorry. I just thought it'd be fun for all of us to watch episode 4 together.... If you head out, won't the two of us look a little sad sitting here alone?"
"Hey! You're with me, what's lonely about that!"
"Whoa, Ga-eul. When you shout in head voice the pitch really carries. But seriously, are you going to leave?"
"Then you should've said so in the first place. I'll watch episode 4 and go."
And just like that, Jun-seo came back in without a fuss. Remembering how he'd blown up at his manager during the script reading had paid off. Play a little pitiful, and the man caves every time.
Ju Jun-seo. Finest comrade. Five stars.
Myeong Je-ha, you absolute liar.
'How is a guy this docile supposed to have a rotten temper?'
Of course, there was a reason I'd gathered them like this. The Snob Calculator had churned out an excellent answer at record speed.
'I want to build what you might call the Han Yeo-reum Fam.'
This was the season when mutual fame snowballed into mutual recognition. Rookie actors name-dropping each other was free publicity all around.
'And these two have agencies behind them, so....'
Good for keeping an ear on industry currents, too. This was a world where a single mention could land you a role. If I wanted to take off quickly and climb over Do Gyeo-ul's head, I needed every tool I could get my hands on.
Before the episode went up, we traded updates on our lives.
"Did you two line up anything for after the web drama wraps?"
"Eh, I've got a couple of auditions, one photocall event. Acting lessons, too."
"A pictorial shoot and an interview. And lessons for me as well."
Exactly as I'd expected.
'I'm dying of envy. You really do need an agency.'
As if she'd read my mind, Chu Ga-eul cleared her throat.
"Well, want to audition for our agency? A few of the department heads have actually said nice things about you. We're pretty big, and we're—"
"No. Don't go."
At Jun-seo's lightning-fast gag order, Ga-eul's eyes sharpened into points.
"Excuse me? Our agency happens to be a good place, thank you very much."
"She can go somewhere bigger."
"Bigger than here? You mean... Bon Entertainment? That place is kind of old-school, you know. They're worlds away from anything trendy. Hey. Han Yeo-reum. Come take the LM audition."
"Don't go."
"I'll call them right this second! They'll tell you to come in today! The department heads will take one look at you and just praise and praise—!"
"Don't go."
Jun-seo's conversational style was remarkably cost-efficient. Three words for every ten of hers, and he was the one steering. I turned to him.
"Why are you telling me not to go?"
His answer caught me off guard.
"There's been talk lately. That JC ENM might be starting an agency of their own — and that they might scoop you up."
"What!!!"
The same Ga-eul who normally ran her mouth for minutes at a time suddenly barked out three syllables.
'JC ENM...? That's news to me, too.'
JC didn't run a separate talent agency yet. An MCN, sure — but right now the MCN world ran on influencers. On Intubers.
'It would only be later, when Intubers graduated to broadcast, that the line between MCNs and agencies blurred. Definitely not now.'
Jun-seo must have caught the meaning behind my gaze, because he added an explanation.
"Not an MCN — they're in the middle of building a brand-new agency. A whole separate label. That's what I heard. Not confirmed yet, though."
Which meant, in other words—
"Then you'd be the first actor ever to sign an exclusive contract with JC ENM?"
Chu Ga-eul's mouth fell open. Then she summed it all up in short order.
"Right. Don't come to our agency. Good thing I didn't make that call."
"Exactly."
"You've got to go swim in the big pond. If it's JC, you grab it."
"My thoughts exactly."
And just like that, Ga-eul and Jun-seo reached their conclusion together. Suspiciously clean, almost rehearsed — like a two-man act they'd prepared in advance.
'The first actor to sign with JC ENM.'
Just thinking it made my heart race. By then, episode 4 of The Cherry on Top of the Parfait Belongs to the Heroine! had finished uploading.
Ae-ta-mi, refreshing as she did every single day, clicked the moment it appeared.
"It's up!!!"
Having made up her mind, Chae-won chose one method to secure her screen time. And that method was—
"Get lost."
"Hey, you know... doesn't being alone get lonely sometimes?"
It was the cost-effective heroine strategy. A technique that targeted one guy, and one guy only.
The essence of any shoujo manga was, in the end, the romance front between the male lead and the female lead. Chae-won, who could no longer manufacture black history in front of the entire school, began firing off lines that belonged to a shoujo heroine — straight at Jun.
One guy was better than a love-letter fiasco in front of the whole auditorium.
With that narration, she lobbed her daily ration of heroine lines at Jun — one per day, like clockwork.
"I can't speak for anyone else, but I can see you."
"...."
"Don't even think about hiding it. Sometimes, even in a relationship that means nothing at all, you find a reason to keep going...!"
Having said her piece, Chae-won simply walked on. Tap, tap, tap.
There was zero context. Whenever her eyes landed on Jun, she reflexively spat out one of those lines and then switched her brain off. Left standing alone, Jun stared into empty space wearing the same dead-fish eyes as Chae-won herself.
"Whatever. It's a shoujo manga anyway — everything loops back around to Hina. He probably won't even remember what I said."
The moment she rounded the corner of the hallway, Chae-won thunked her forehead against the wall and worked through her rationalizations. Some of those lines were simply too hard on a Korean sensibility to say with a straight face.
"Heroines are truly incredible.... Saying things like that. Stone sober."
Chae-won spread her hand open and stared at it. It wasn't going blurry anymore — as if to say her choice had been the right one. It was the very moment she was about to play Jun's heroine, same as always, when—
COME TO THE GYM STORAGE SHED.
— Jun
The note was sitting on Chae-won's desk.
"Ah, it's THAT one!!! The gym storage shed cliché!!!"
Ae-ta-mi kicked her legs against the mattress, and only then noticed she was covering her mouth with her fist. The show kept putting tension in her hands and feet.
The scene to come was obvious. But the obvious ones were always the tastiest. Already she was aching to see Jun sprint for the storage shed to save his Chae-won.
Creeeak—
At last, Chae-won pushed open the storage shed door and stepped inside. She hadn't even finished her first step when — clang — the door slammed shut behind her. Darkness swallowed everything in an instant.
"Ah.... It's that one."
Chae-won — the one actually trapped inside — reacted far more flatly than her viewer Ae-ta-mi. As if it were nothing at all, she sat down on the mat and pulled out her phone.
"Pi Chae-won! Answer if you can hear me!"
And then it happened. A familiar voice calling her name from outside—
"...Huh. So he knows my name?"
But even hearing Jun's voice, Chae-won didn't answer.
"Pi Chae-won!"
"Tsk.... He looks like the type who'd break the lock off a storage shed. But that would be going a bit far."
She had no particular desire to ask Jun for a rescue.
"I only wanted my screen time, and now I'm going to become the actual heroine."
So Chae-won, once again, made the sensible choice.
"Hello, is this 911? I'm currently trapped inside a school building — oh. The teachers' office phone? Well, aren't we clever."
She had just hung up briefly to call the teachers' office when it happened.
"Ugh, damn it.... This is driving me insane."
A voice drifted over — far too sharp for a shoujo male lead. A voice soaked in very realistic irritation.
"How long am I actually supposed to keep doing this?"
At the same moment — pop — came the sound of a soap bubble bursting. Something clicked in her head, and a new light flickered in Chae-won's eyes. She vaulted off the horse block and stuck her head out the high window.
"Hey."
A voice completely different from the heroine act she'd been performing in front of Jun just days ago.
"Don't tell me you're—"
"...You too?"
Eeeee— A ringing like tinnitus filled her ears.
[The Cherry on Top of the Parfait Belongs to the Heroine!]
"Ahhh!!! How dare you end it there!!!"
Ae-ta-mi rolled across her bed, over and over again.