Now That I've Come Here, I Should Do It Once

To some, the Empire's south is a warm region, the Great Forest, a place of the most interaction with the elves. And a place renowned for its hot springs, called the best resort area for a very long time.

And to some, none of that is remembered. Just the thought of it would send chills down the spine, and even screaming wouldn't come out properly, tormented by nightmares. It could be such a place.

So, what about me now? Am I really out of the latter case? Can I now say that I'm no longer struggling in nightmares?

'I don't know. If I could be sure, it would be a lie.'

I try not to show it. I try to forget. Since I've recovered the life I wanted so much, now I'm trying to melt into that life completely.

Whenever I try to recall, it feels like the wound that's almost healed bursts open. Like returning to that hell.

But sometimes, when that moment comes to mind, my body shakes without me realizing it.

The injured comrades, the dead comrades-in-arms. And the battlefield that was like hell. All of it sweeps through my bones like a harsh winter wind.

Even if I try to forget. No matter how much I think about the past. Even though I know that recalling it now brings me no good, it's still hard to escape from there.

“Don’t just run away from it.”

Perhaps someone was guessing my inner thoughts. Since they were veterans, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠they had no choice but to say that.

At the recent imperial New Year audience, the senior medal recipients patted my shoulder and started talking.

“There’s no need to avoid it just because it hurts. Rather, facing that pain calmly is a good method. That way, you can see the present more clearly.”

“I heard you fought on the southern front. You might not want to go back there again, but you should face it. And organize the emotions you left there one by one.”

If it weren't for those words, even at this moment of coming to the hot spring trip, I wouldn't have turned my head towards the Great Forest. Or I would have been busy talking to avoid thinking about that time.

But when the thought of having to face it came, the outline of what I needed to do next became clear.

“…”

It wasn't something I planned. Coincidence. Yeah. It was really by chance that I heard the news right as I arrived at this hot spring.

By the way, the memorial service is not in the region I fought in. My battlefield is quite far from here.

Still, it's for all the fallen soldiers. They are praying for peace, and surely my comrades are included among them. So, it doesn't matter where it is.

At first, I was worried. Is going there not rude? I survived, but they died.

It could be that I was only giving unnecessary pain to the families of the deceased.

So, when I conveyed that opinion to the organizers of the memorial service, this answer came back.

“If you can attend, it would be an honor. Sergeant Karl Adelheit.”

“Perhaps they would also want you to come, Sergeant. Thanks to you, the Empire's citizens all know that they fought their best for the Empire.”

It was truly ironic. All the senior veterans like me, the moment that was like a hell we wanted to forget.

However, to honor and remember the ones who died at that time, we ourselves must recall it. Only then will the whole world remember their names and their noble sacrifice.

'…Yeah.'

Perhaps what the seniors said. The meaning of 'don't run away' and 'face that pain calmly.'

It's not just carrying guilt for surviving and running around. But to think about what ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠we can do for the dead, since we survived.

Then, we can face it many times. Even if it's painful and horrible. If it's for the ones who were with me in every moment, willingly.

“The reason we eventually want to return to the battlefield is not loyalty to the Empire or the desire to become heroes. It's just to be in the same place as the ones who ate and bled with us yesterday.”

These messages flew to the people preparing the memorial service.

Simply put, he is the eldest son of the Friedrich Count family. As a common soldier, until a few years ago, he was on the battlefield. Moreover, the current count is also a person who has achieved great merits as one of the 'soldiers'.

Just the fact that such a person will attend the memorial service would be a great comfort to the families.

Now, if a Medal of Honor recipient is added to that? If it's a person who received the medal from the princess and the crown prince respectively?

'For those who have lost their lives, it's a good thing, and for the families, it's a kind of glory.'

'Not only the nearby ones, but nobles from relatively far places will all attend.'

More people, more great people will honor their spirits. They thank their sacrifices.

For the families, there could be nothing happier than that. If they see that their loved one's death was not in vain, they will gain the strength not to break down even in grief.

The memorial service will be able to continue. For a very long time, remembering their names and deeds, and never forgetting.

It seems a bit worrying that too many unbelievable people have gathered, but

I really couldn't imagine that the three marquis families and two imperial counts would secretly raise their heads.

Former commander of the Heigens Annihilation Force, Eloise Lohengrin.

Currently, she was sitting on the rooftop of a building slightly away from where the memorial service was being held.

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

There's Karl there. A bit absurdly, four nobles. And, Selena.

She wanted to be there too. Since she is a person from the Heigens side, and also a comrade of the Empire, she thought it was possible to offer a flower in front of their memorial.

But soon she corrected her thoughts. Well, perhaps it would be better to endure this time.

'Even if I was Heigens and their enemy was Luzens. In the end, they are all elves. If I went to that place, it would only make the atmosphere weird.'

Eloise, who is considered strange by other elves, but it wasn't abnormal.

She knew the line to be respected and the power of the gaze. To that extent, she knew well.

So, Eloise replaced it with just watching from afar for a moment.

Karl also didn't stop her. Rather, he smiled a little, saying he was grateful for considering him and his family. For Eloise, that was enough.

Meanwhile, the families started coming forward to give their impressions.

“I really want to thank you for not forgetting us… And I want to specially convey my gratitude to Sergeant Karl Adelheit who attended this place. Thanks to you, this memorial service has become even more shining.”

“Our husbands, fathers, sons. Not anyone else, but the ones who fought in the same space. The Empire's soldiers who received the Medal of Honor. I will be grateful that they came to this place.”

It would have been a difficult decision for Karl. Because he also had to dig up the past.

But he came. And by coming, he illuminated their names as his glory. The more he shines, the more the buried ones will be remembered as heroes of the Empire forever.

“…Suddenly, I don't like this.”

Eloise muttered, unconsciously touching her ears.

Suddenly, I worry. Karl thinks of me as a comrade, not an elf, but was there a moment when unconsciously 'elf' meant 'enemy'?

Perhaps that's why Karl is distancing himself from me. Even if the relationship progresses somehow. When looking at the child born between us, recalling the past, where else could there be more miserable things?

'Damn Luzens bastards. Anyway, I have to catch them all and cut off their ears.'

Once in the previous battlefield, and once more in the joint operation with Ricata. Even though I literally chewed up the remnants of Luzens, something is bubbling inside.

Why did I suddenly come out of the Annihilation Force? If I had stayed, I would have returned immediately and dismantled the Luzens prisoners one by one to relieve this irritation.

“…Ahem. Hello. Everyone. First, despite having suddenly announced that I would attend this place, I want to send my gratitude to those who readily accepted it. And to the families who are holding up well even in grief.”

Meanwhile, this time, Karl came forward.

“As I said before. I am not a hero. I am just one of those who fought alongside the heroes. And those heroes, as national heroes, will protect the Empire forever from yesterday, today, and tomorrow. By our side.”

Ah. Aah. Looking at that expression, my heart suddenly hurts too much.

Don't make that face, Karl. If you keep doing that, I want to run to your side right now and tell you not to cry.

Eloise kept pounding her head with her fists to maintain patience.

I came to have a pleasant trip. Did I choose the wrong place? Did I touch a painful ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠wound unnecessarily? Eloise, sitting on the rooftop, had to groan while clutching her head for a while.