Swimsuit Surprise at the Onsen
According to my memory, this world is a fantasy setting dripping with Western vibes. Now it includes guns, gunpowder, and quite sophisticated levels of science and technology.
Ah, if anyone is thinking that I’m judging whether I’m treating the people and world here as characters in a novel, please stop right there.
This place is definitely real, and my previous life is just my previous life. I’m fully immersed in my current life. After all, this is my life, and if I don’t immerse myself, that would be even stranger.
So why at this timing is the foundation of the world being shaken? The foundation is there, but it’s strange because strange cultures have been mixed together in odd corners.
For example, you wouldn’t see “Long live the Emperor, long live, long live!” in a Western-style setting, or menus that secretly use Eastern ingredients despite looking like they’re made of flour-based bread.
“This hot spring we’re planning to go to is one of them. It has a neighbor-island kind of feel.”
At first I was dumbfounded, but now I’ve decided to just accept it. The world setting is up to the author, after all.
“But, you hydras. Even so, isn’t that a bit much for a hot spring?”
The place the four idiots dragged me to while claiming they were preparing for a hot spring trip was, of all things, a swimsuit shop.
It’s surprising that such open-minded clothing exists in a fantasy world, but what’s even weirder is why they want to wear swimsuits at the hot spring.
You idiots. Swimsuits are for summer. Summer! After you go, wrap a white towel or robe around you! And pull down those see-through bottoms! Wow, look at those women’s swimsuits. They’re so revealing, so revealing!
“Hey. Schlippen. Take off those trunk panties right now. I thought you were a fifty-year-old uncle.”
“No. What the hell is that fluorescent color? Wilhelm. You want to die?”
“Take off that Hawaiian shirt when you’re saying nice things. Alexander. …What Hawaiian? I’ll explain later, so take it off first.”
“Of course it would be. It says it’s for children. Joachim, you idiot…”
You foolish, naive protagonists. Please. The hot spring isn’t a swimming pool. It’s not the sea! I said no!
So stop that! There’s still half a year until summer, I’m going crazy!
“Everyone, stop. Hydra training recruits. Put down what you’re holding immediately. Execute.”
“E-execute?!”
The saving grace was that these guys still remembered their training days.
Calling them recruits in a low voice made them reflexively reply “Yes, sir!” which probably isn’t a bad judgment, as it would be like sending them to the military forever.
“My proud friends. Is there any need to swim at the hot spring?”
“But! I heard they wear swimsuits, so…”
“Just go and wear a towel or robe.”
“But when entering the bath?!”
“Wrap a towel around your body roughly and enter. Or take it off.”
Because I recalled my previous life, the idea that wearing clothes to enter the hot spring is nonsense has become stronger. Well, imagine it. Going into the hot spring with clothes on after filling it with hot water… Kyaaak!
Originally, in this world too, you either wear a robe or go naked when entering the hot spring. Where did they hear that they have to wear swimsuits?
“…Yeah. Good. Well, assuming they can wear swimsuits a hundred times over. Even if not all, there are people who wear them. But. But why! Why fluorescent swimsuits and Hawaiian shirts!”
At this point, I have no choice but to have a rational suspicion that “maybe these idiots are testing if they die or not by themselves.” Maybe it’s because they’re jealous of me dating Selena.
“…I don’t think that’s the real intention.”
Sighing, I do a dry wash.
These guys are usually fine, but when they hit on some weird part, they turn into gag characters as if they made a promise. It’s so absurd that I wonder if they made a bet with each other.
What makes it worse is that these guys are 100% serious mode.
Look at them. Right in front, they’re grumbling “I heard they wear swimsuits, so what’s the problem?” while holding those fluorescent swimsuits, and I really want to tear them apart. Wow.
“I have a thought that sometimes, seriously, I’m worried about the future of the Marquis of Ricata and the Count of the Empire.”
After barely convincing the four idiots, I was about to leave the shop when…
“…Eh?”
A strangely familiar back of the head appeared from the side. I thought it was a hallucination, but it wasn’t.
Pointy ears poking out from between the hair. Just that was enough to know who it was.
“Eloise?”
What's this? Why did this woman come to the swimsuit shop? She couldn't have taken the wrong path…
Why is she doing the same thing as these four idiots next to me?
“…”
Fortunately, Eloise didn’t notice that I or the four idiots were nearby.
More precisely, she seemed distracted by the clerk and the swimsuits.
“What? Karl. Why are you staring… Eh.”
“Isn’t that the elf student? Eloise, right?”
“Yeah. Eloise. That name, right? But…”
The four idiots are grumbling, and Eloise receives something from the clerk and smiles satisfiedly.
In her hand is a swimsuit that looks very dangerous at first glance.
It’s not even a normal swimsuit. Black bikini… no, mini bikini level.
“Wow. There are such swimsuits. Amazing. Did they make this for wearing it?”
“Oh my, oh my. Elves, not very likable species.”
“H, don’t misunderstand. Is it true that this covers everything?”
“It seems insufficient no matter how you look…”
Hey, hey. Stop there. If someone hears, they’ll think these are not the Empire’s promising youths but playboys.
To avoid being noticed by Eloise, I quickly herded the four idiots out.
But these guys suddenly turned their gaze to me and stared silently.
“…Why. What.”
“No. I just had this thought.”
What thought is that, you hydra leaders.
“No matter how much I think, Karl, don’t you think you should pay more taxes?”
“What are you talking about suddenly. Schlippen. Why taxes.”
“This time, I agree with Schlippen’s opinion.”
“Me too.”
“I concur.”
*
They seem to be deliberately not looking. Right? Right. They’re deliberately not looking!
“I expected it wouldn’t be easy… Phew. Too much. This guy’s not easy, is he?”
Did they not know that Karl is here? I knew from before entering.
His voice was heard, and I saw the faces of the imperial noble kids who were with him last time.
Still, deliberately pretending not to know was to see how Karl would react. Honestly, I hoped he would at least pretend to know.
But Karl didn’t move so easily. It felt like “If you don’t pretend first, I have no reason to pretend first.”
“Is it that? Since he has a romantic interest, he won’t give a glance to other women.”
What did humans call that? …Ah, right. Love? I think that’s what it was called.
There are plenty of such loves among elves too. More precisely, as long as one of the two doesn’t die first or their heart doesn’t change, the rule of one man one woman applies.
Looking at it, their compatriots call it a very beautiful love, an unbreakable beautiful heart… but in my opinion, well. Do you have to live like that?
“It’s unfair. Even looking at a man who’s tempting for more than 10 seconds when he’s already taken! And if the wife has many, so what! I want to taste a capable, handsome man like me too!”
In this regard, human society is very likable. Much better than elves!
Why do they call them gganf? If they just live like that without changing, believing in their little pride, they’ve caught up to the humans they despised!
They need to change! Throw away the old! Accept the good immediately! In that sense, my husband is more broad-minded and capable than the tiny elf… sigh. Sigh. Up to here.
Anyway, I learned a few days ago that Karl has a woman he’s dating.
Precisely, I heard the elf students who entered the academy before me talking.
“The academy is strangely chaotic lately. What’s going on?”
“Did you not know? That, the student named Selena Ifreet. For several years, the Empire’s male students have been confessing to her one after another.”
“I heard. But?”
“That student is starting to date a human man named Karl Adelheit who received the Legion of Honor for our elves’ glorious honor this time.”
“Is that why it’s so noisy? Humans are really…”
Sigh. Those idiots. With them being so closed-minded, it’s like I’m saying elves aren’t allowed.
Without understanding their minds, what scholarship? Just all go back! Disappear! Do you know that the scholarship you received at this Empire Academy was paid by your compatriots’ taxes?!
Bigger problem. Selena Ifreet. Selena. I saw that woman once…
“That woman is definitely pretty. A bit less confident.”
Thinking about it, it’s a bit unbelievable.
When I first met her. When we met on the train, Karl didn’t care even when looking at me. So I thought he was a man who didn’t care much about appearance.
But what the hell?! Seeing him like this, he was a man who valued appearance more than anyone! But why! Why am I the only one who is the real deal!
…Anyway, it seemed like a pretty tough fight.
Right now, I can’t break through the “Ricata” gate. I don’t know about Selena, but… from Karl’s reaction, no matter how Ricata, he probably can’t oppose me as much as he does with me.
“Hmm.”
I looked closely at my full-body reflection in the fitting room mirror.
Good. With this, I can create a gap somehow. After all, the more area, the better, right?