Don't Laugh Because I Enlisted in the Military
Why are there such bastards? Guys who confessed to their classmates and got rejected, then ran off to the military.
Honestly, I still can't wrap my head around it. No, it wasn't even a breakup—it was a straight-up rejection. Why the hell would someone do that?
Especially when they confessed the moment they entered the academy and got rejected right away, then jumped straight into enlistment? This is stupidity on a whole new level.
But that bastard is me! Fuck!
"Sorry, Karl. You're a good person, but I don't see you as the opposite sex."
The me from the past committed the ultimate sin of confessing to someone I liked after just a month at the academy. And in front of everyone, no less.
I still wonder what kind of confidence I had to pull that off. Maybe someone spiked my lunch?
"Really sorry. I hope I don't make you uncomfortable in the future."
He even had the nerve to talk about male pride, haha! I got it! And coolly withdrew.
Then? I immediately applied for a leave of absence. A month after entering the academy. Hehe. Crazy bastard.
The next one is even more legendary. Without telling his family, he just applied for military enlistment.
It's already ridiculous that a noble would volunteer for service, but to do it as a soldier, not an officer? Even this is enough to make one eat rice and barley in shame, but the cherry on top is yet to come.
The Empire's war ministry accepted my enlistment with an enthusiastic 'Oh my!'
- Is this not the most delicious propaganda?! -
The Empire's own noble volunteered to enlist as a soldier, not even as an officer!
This is the Empire's class! Huh?! Can you see it?! You bastards!
...The propaganda department side had a topic that made one's eyes roll. I'll admit that much.
Anyway, that's how the me from the past became a second lieutenant who was a high noble.
Naturally, from the very first day of transfer to the unit, eyes and suspicions rained down on me.
"No, fuck. You were happy when a new recruit showed up, and now you're sending a young master?"
"Hey. Is this a disguised transfer officer?"
"Real military life at the end is full of bullshit."
And before I could even remember the seniors' names, war broke out and I was sent straight to the battlefield.
There, I rolled in the mud like a bastard for three straight years.
If I could, I wanted to strangle the past me's neck.
Ah, why am I always saying 'the me from the past' here.
After getting bombed by magic and heading to the rock, the past life came rushing back.
The me from the past was someone living in the world called Earth, and this world was the content of the book I was reading at that time.
But it was a romance fantasy, not a comedy or a cheat skill.
Crazy bastard. If I was going to read it, how about hypnotizing girls to seduce them?
Or flying in the air shooting beams like a cheat skill.
But it was romance fantasy. And the protagonist was not even a supporting character but the ultimate loser.
Most importantly, the heroine rejected me in the early role.
Life is tragic from afar and tragic up close.
"Hey!"
"Ah, yes. Assistant."
"Are you dozing off while drinking coffee? In the military?"
In the military, what coffee? Not an officer, just a soldier.
If I said I wanted to drink coffee, a kick to the back of the head would come flying.
From this time on, you are not a noble young master! A chick! A second lieutenant runt! Bonus.
"Still, you came back well."
As per Marcus-senpai's words, I was one of the ones who came back well.
Unlike someone who lost limbs or only had a dog tag left.
"Was military life fun?"
"What do you mean? It was bullshit."
"Hey. You started talking like a soldier from the start. Are officers good?"
Ah fuck. Do I have to explain from the beginning again?
"I didn't enlist as an officer. Senior."
"Huh?"
"I enlisted as a soldier."
There was an awkward silence between me and Marcus-senpai.
Now, the next thing that comes out is what I, remembering my past life, would predict!
It would probably be 'What the hell, this bastard?'
"What the hell, this bastard. Are you joking now?"
Oh, got it right.
"Unfortunately, it's not a joke."
"...If that's a joke, then either you're crazy or I am. I have no choice but to think one of the two."
Saying both are crazy and then picking one is what?
Rather, crazy or less crazy. Something like that.
"Did you really enlist as a soldier?"
"Yes."
"A noble young master?"
"Yes."
"And you went to the battlefield?"
"Yes."
While sipping coffee and nodding, the senior let out a sigh.
What kind of crazy guy is this? That expression. Same as the professor earlier.
"...Did you get a head injury in the battlefield?"
"I almost did after getting bombed by magic."
"This guy, is he really crazy?"
Almost swearing, but too sad to refute.
The me from the past, what was he thinking when he applied for soldier enlistment. Shit.
"Then, what did you do as a soldier?"
"What else? Just whatever."
"You went to the battlefield. Did you mess with the elves of Luzens?"
What messing? Our unit completely stripped their souls.
"...Yes. Well, we did mess with them."
"What? You enlisted as a soldier but didn't even fight properly?"
"Combat? Forget it, I just recruited a few comrades. Enough?"
Then Marcus-senpai muttered 'Disappointing! I thought it was the hero who turns the tide or something!'
This guy. What kind of place is the battlefield? A bunch of guys who thought they were heroes and died!
"Senior. Let's stop with that story. Talking about the military in front of someone who hasn't been discharged for long is a big no-no."
"You, who enlisted as a soldier despite being a noble, have something to say."
"Still, when I was discharged, I was discharged as a non-commissioned officer, not a soldier. Sergeant."
"Proud. My younger brother who is three years younger than you would be a lieutenant."
The senior who clicked his tongue finished his coffee and said.
"So, what was the purpose of visiting the assistant's room?"
"After hearing that, I hit my forehead."
"The story of the bastard who enlisted as a soldier was too funny, so I stopped."
Kyaaak! Stop! Stop! Stay!
"Actually, I was planning to re-enroll next year, but this schedule got twisted and I re-enrolled in the second semester."
"Speaking of which, that makes sense? Did you misread the date?"
"Instead, it just happened that way."
There's another sadly hidden legend here.
I clearly said I would re-enroll next year. I said that.
How did the academy immediately approve it as re-enrolling in the second semester this year.
What kind of talk is this. The female student in the romance novel who rejected me in the past.
That woman is still at the academy. As the last year of 4th grade.
"I thought maybe you were going to confess again."
"...Senior. Do you know why the saying 'a pen is stronger than a sword' came out?"
Saying that, I grabbed the pen in front of the desk, and the senior immediately surrendered.
Be careful. Exposing someone's dark history? You'll become an unbacked gangster.
"Anyway, about those juniors. I wanted to know what lectures they were taking."
"Hey. No matter how much of an assistant, you can't tell students' lectures to anyone."
"Maybe I'll feel uncomfortable if I meet them. Especially Selena."
"Um. I have to tell you right away. Especially Selena. Wait!"
Selena Ifreet. The top beauty. The heroine in the romance novel. And the female student who rejected me in the past.
I never want to bump into her. If I did, I might die of embarrassment.
"Ah, but if you change your mind and confess again, no?"
Hahaha. I immediately grabbed the pen on the desk and pointed it at the senior.
Fortunately, the pen tip was covered. If not, I would have been attempted murder.
*
"His Highness. This is the list of Medal of Honor recipients."
The Medal of Honor. Proof that only the Empire's top heroes can receive it.
From commander to lowest soldier, once you receive it, you get tremendous courtesy.
Invitations to imperial events fly, and everyone except the emperor salutes first.
Not only the person, but their families are treated with the utmost respect.
Instead, it's hard to receive it. Stepping over the threshold to the afterlife is a basic option.
After going there, you have to chat with the reaper a bit.
"Among these four, we will select one."
"Hmm."
The war ministry minister, holding the report, looked at it for a moment and shook his head.
"No. Among these four, turn all of them into Cross of Honor recipients, and re-do the Medal of Honor recipients."
"Eh? Why? They all have solid achievements and firm loyalty to the Empire."
"I know. I know, but something else is needed. The war is over now."
The minister's words, the deputy who brought the report let out an 'Ah' sigh.
"How many did you kill? Of course that's important. But the standard for this Medal of Honor is how many of the Empire's soldiers did you save? This is the criterion. The order came from above."
From the war ministry minister's perspective, 'above' is only one place.
The deputy also just let out a groan 'Ugh'.
"But Minister, the criterion for rescuing allies is too vague."
"Most of it was probably done as part of the operation under the commander's orders. I know, but is there no way? That rumor from last time. A soldier saved an entire company."
"Frankly, it doesn't make sense. How can one person save over a hundred?"
That's right. Yeah, that's how it is. The war ministry minister put a cigarette in his mouth.