9. Good to the End
[ Leny? Leny? Selena! ]
No matter how much my brother called my name beyond the communication device, Selena was just rolling her eyes in confusion.
‘What do I do. What do I do! What am I supposed to do...!’
It was three years and six months ago. That is, when she had just entered the academy. Selena was the one who received confessions from all sorts of seniors at the freshman welcome party.
At first, she rejected them with a smile, without hiding the sorry look on her face. But as one became two, two became four, she got tired. Her reactions became sharper, and in the end, she cut them off coldly.
Karl was one of those cases a month later. The coldest one. She was angry at the confessions pouring in to the point where academy life became impossible. It wasn't because of Karl, but as if irritated by him. She showed an overly cold demeanor beyond what's necessary.
“W-well? Haha. I get it. Sorry. Still, we can be friends, right?”
Karl said that, and after that day, he was never seen again at the academy. A bit worried, she checked and found he had taken a leave of absence, and she didn't hear from him after that.
Even after Karl disappeared, the confessions from male students continued. Among them were Schlippen, Wilhelm, Alexander, and Joachim from the same year. Naturally, she rejected all confessions, but not as sharply as before. She had adapted to some extent. Now she was indifferent to such things. And she felt sorry for Karl who had reacted too extremely.
Time passed, and during the second semester of her fourth year, preparing to graduate in a daze.
“Selena. That guy returned, right?”
“Eh?”
“Karl. He returned.”
The unexpected news from Etbin. Karl, who had disappeared for over three years, had come back. She met him. It was really Karl. He seemed to have changed a lot, but anyway, it was him.
And at that place, she heard shocking news.
“Enlisted as a soldier?”
He himself said absolutely not, but the timing matched too perfectly. It was because of the confession he made that she had reacted too sharply. And then he took leave, but as a noble, he enlisted as a soldier and went through the war.
No matter how you think about it, there was definitely her fault in Karl having to go through such hardship. But it didn't end there. During the war, he saved her brother too. Whether he knew or not, it didn't matter much. The guilt she had been harboring from before welled up.
[ Selena. Are you listening to what your brother is saying― ]
Selena suddenly got up from her seat and went straight to find Karl. You are that nameless hero who saved our brother? If so, why didn't you say it was me when I was telling the story. Maybe because I would feel sorry. Or maybe because I would feel burdened. Was that why?!
‘Idiot. Idiot! You idiot!!’
She didn't know he was such a good person and vented the irritation accumulated because of others. She had to tell him. Sorry. Thank you. She had to do it. But even after searching for him all day, Selena couldn't find Karl.
‘He's avoiding me. Maybe because he thinks I'll feel uncomfortable. That's why he's doing this. Definitely!’
Selena clenched her fists and kept hitting her own head.
Meanwhile.
“Phew. Here, no one would know.”
Karl, who had been hiding somewhere in the academy to avoid the incoming students. His stealth skills as a soldier, reaching the rank of sergeant, were top-notch. It was natural that Selena couldn't find him.
*
No one finds me. I am the wall. I am an object. I have experienced being a sergeant. Yeah. I am the Dark Knight. Toridus...!
After being confirmed as a Medal of Honor recipient, three days passed. During those three days, I hid every day except for lectures. It was so thorough that if someone saw me, they'd think I was an escaped convict. Even though this wasn't a battlefield, what could I do. If I walked normally, they'd come running saying 'There's the elf killer!' Even if I shouted to listen to me, it was useless. Everyone's eyes were on the Medal of Honor. I, the one who was actually there, didn't care, but I couldn't understand why they were doing that. I knew the medal was great, but it was overdoing it. If anyone heard, they'd think I saved the princess or the crown prince!
‘If rumors spread, wouldn't they send assassins?’
Damn, if that happened, it would be too unfair. I swear, the elves I shot dead are within ten fingers. After all, my marksmanship was so good that even the angel senior turned into a demon. I am the one who achieves the miracle of 10 shots, 3 hits. I stepped on the taxes the empire citizens paid like poop several times. But what can I do. The gun I shot and this gun are too different. There, guns shoot 700 abada kedabra per minute, but this isn't it. I don't know if this was made to shoot or to improve marksmanship. Why human development requires war, I can understand. Since there must be at least one person who thought of making better things instead of fighting with such shitty things!
“Karl-senpai. For now, let's postpone the group assignment meeting. Right now, it's... a bit like that?”
“…I'm going crazy.”
The group had been formed, so we had to meet each other once and greet, right? But these people put greetings at the back and started with 'senpai!' so nothing could progress. In the middle, female students were glaring at their peers. If they were from the same soldier background as me, maybe I wouldn't care. But these are all civilians. No, they don't even have military service obligation, so they're not even civilians? Anyway, there was no reason to tell army stories to these chicks. After all, army stories are fun only among those who know. Whether that guy is a PX soldier, boiler soldier, or barber soldier, it doesn't matter. As long as it's military service. Otherwise, no matter how funny the story is, ordinary people just tilt their heads.
Tadadot!―
Hmm. So the trackers finally caught up here. Time to leave this place too. This place inside the building is deserted. My favorite place... Goodbye now...
“Karl!”
What? How did I get discovered in one go? Even our squad leader couldn't do that? This kind of tracking was only possible with someone who had the tracking skill. But there was no way that human was here. What to do. First, run away. If caught, they'll ask how many elf ears I cut or something.
“Karl! Wait, wait!”
“…Selena?”
When I turned my head, it was Selena who had tracking skills at the level of a patrol officer.
“Stop there. Stop. Hands up. If you move, I'll shoot.”
“It was you?!”
I said if you move, I'll shoot... eh?
The person who saved our brother. That nameless hero. It was you, Karl. At the moment the story came out of Selena's mouth, I suddenly felt ashamed. I don't know why. It just felt like my secret that I wanted to hide was revealed. I didn't do anything bad. I did a really good thing. But still, I don't know why I feel this way.
“Haa, haa.”
In the middle of rough breathing, Selena approached right in front of me.
“Honestly.”
“Eh?”
“Honestly, tell me. Karl. Really... it's not because of me?”
“What... no way. That I enlisted as a soldier?”
“Yeah. That. That you, as a noble, without being an officer, did soldier life. And went to war and experienced that hard work. All of it.”
I couldn't answer immediately. Selena's words were true. Why did I do such crazy things. To forget the pain and shame of being rejected. It wasn't something I could do with a clear mind, but anyway, Selena was involved in the cause. I couldn't say there's no connection. Honestly, it hurts a bit. I could have rejected her less painfully. I heard that other humans rejected with smiles. But why was I the one who got cold rejection! I understand everything else, but it's sad that only I got rejected coldly! Selena!!
“I told you, Selena. No.”
Even so, I gave her a clear answer again. No. It's not because of you that I did that. My misfortune is not your fault. The answer I gave Selena was not just for pride. If I said yes, it would feel like my hardships and memories so far would be downgraded to 'just that.' Since it was ultimately my choice, I thought it was right to bear everything myself.
“Really...? Really, no...?”
“I told you. I'm a bit weird, but I'm not a crazy guy who enlisted because of rejection. I just did it because I wanted to. It was my decision, my action. That's all.”
*
Until the end. Really until the end. Karl never blamed me. He said it was okay to do it once. It was okay to say it honestly. That person protected me until the end. Just like that time, he kept smiling. Seeing such Karl, I suddenly smiled bashfully without realizing. Why was I so coldly rejecting his confession more than usual. Or why did I think there was no point in considering the continued male student proposals. I learned that I hadn't forgotten Karl even after time passed and kept him in a corner of my heart. It wasn't just because I felt sorry. It wasn't that I felt sorry and kept thinking and worrying.