Chapter 83
Chapter 83
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 83
Chapter Title: Accomplice I: Shin Noah
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83
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Accomplice I
Shin Noah
1
I didn’t immediately respond when I encountered the worst enemy, the outsider god-class monster called ‘Mugan.’
Instead, I waited for the right moment to arrive.
For an infinite regressor, ‘waiting’ is on another level entirely. Multiply the anger and anxiety you feel when your food delivery is three minutes past the estimated time by about thirteen, and you’ve got an infinite regressor’s wait. It could truly be called superhuman patience.
During this time, I focused on building up my strength as much as possible.
Did I train in martial arts, you ask? As if. As Old Man Show had said, my combat sense was closer to a beaver’s. Don’t underestimate the battle talent of someone born to be a supporter.
But even for someone like me—no, precisely because it was me—there was still a way to maximize my power.
“No Do-ha, Workshop Master.”
“…….”
No Do-ha’s expression was ordinary.
Her face was basically set to rotten by default, so even if it rotted further now, it just added ordinary on top of ordinary.
“No, I haven’t said anything yet. Why are you glaring at me like you’re staring into a shithole?”
“Because whenever you call me ‘No Do-ha, Workshop Master’ instead of ‘No Do-ha, Highway Management Corps Leader,’ there’s a high probability you’re about to spew some personal sob story…… And your personal pain, rage, grudges, favors, ‘I’m so human’ poses, signals that only I can see you’re human—it’s all just a pain in the ass for me, nothing more, nothing less…….”
“No Do-ha, Workshop Master. Haven’t you been working too much lately? I’ve got some free time too. How about we take a little vacation together? Just the two of us backpacking, like college buddies.”
“You fucking…….”
“As expected. I knew you’d like it.”
And so, No Do-ha and I set off on a trip.
If it had been after the 380th cycle when I established the ‘Idea Ranch,’ we could’ve ridden dinosaurs together amicably (which we did later on), but unfortunately, we were only in the 100th cycle right now.
If I’d been alone, I could’ve zipped along using something like lightness skill. If No Do-ha hadn’t been my companion, I would’ve used Aura Burst to speed us both up.
The latter option was shot down again when No Do-ha shyly said, “Oh, if you wanted to watch me commit suicide firsthand, you should’ve just said so sooner…….” Such a shy one.
Thus, our means of transportation were extremely limited. Finding the absolute best option under such constraints was proof of my caliber as a regressor.
Rooooad...
No Do-ha rode the vehicle with me, maintaining her ordinary expression as we moved along.
“Undertaker Awakener…….”
“Yes?”
“Is this really the best method……?”
“Yes.”
Rooooad...
“No matter how precious fuel is these days, don’t we have something flashier like a dump truck, the power of the Highway Management Corps, or your miracle regressor powers? Even a bicycle would do…….”
“Hey, you’re a good joker. We can’t waste the Corps’ assets on a private trip. Bikes would break on these rough roads anyway.”
Rooooad...
“But fuck……. No, seriously. Where the hell did you get this shitty yogurt cart from? Huh?”
That’s right.
At that moment, the two of us were riding the world’s first and only Fresh Manager exclusive riding refrigerated electric cart, the third-generation model Coco (Cold & Cold) 3.0.
It was also known as the ‘yogurt lady cart.’ With its apricot-colored exterior, beautiful as it was, it was that ancient relic capable of instantaneous travel between neighborhoods.
I gripped the steering wheel while No Do-ha sat atop the cart. I’d even customized it with top-grade cushions, so her butt wouldn’t hurt.
“Hey now. Mind your language. For all its looks, this is a ‘yogurt cart’ monster.”
“Huh? A monster……?”
“That’s right. No matter how rough the road, it climbs without issue. No matter how remote the neighborhood, it steadfastly arrives. It’s a miraculous vehicle. No Do-ha, Workshop Master. Have you ever seen a yogurt cart broken down or wrecked on the roadside?”
“No, I haven’t…….”
“Exactly. Most Koreans have only observed yogurt carts as ‘somehow intact.’ Even on terrain that seems physically impossible to traverse, this monster produces the result of ‘somehow successfully traveling.’”
“What bullshit……?”
“Behold.”
Rooooad...
An asphalt road stretched out before us. The cart bravely advanced over paving so cracked it was hard to tell if it was concrete or Choco Pies.
Clunk—the cart’s wheel caught on a concrete ledge. No Do-ha’s face darkened.
“Oh, it fell off…….”
But oddly enough, the cart stuck right to the concrete surface and climbed back onto the smooth track.
“…Huh?”
Its movement technique was on another level.
No matter how crumbled the concrete, no matter how messed up the tiles, no matter how bumpy the tree roots jutting out, the yogurt cart just jostled a bit and went straight through ‘without any issues.’
It traversed national highways so damaged that not even cars, let alone ordinary people, could pass—wobbling side to side, yet it sped along just fine.
The pinnacle of Korean engineering. An SSS-grade lost technology artifact.
“Hah? What the fuck, this idiotic……?”
“This is the yogurt cart monster. Go ahead and praise me, Workshop Master.”
“Wait, does this thing even run without charging electricity or anything……?”
“Yep. And the fridge that No Do-ha, Workshop Master is sitting on right now? Put drinks or food in it, and they won’t spoil easily. I even kept meat fresh for over a year by stuffing it into yogurt-shaped containers.”
“Good lord. Fuck, if there was something this good, you should’ve told the Highway Management Corps right away instead of playing backpacking cosplay. We need to collect these carts nationwide and assign them to the Corps. In this shitty era, it could revolutionize logistics—no, even serve as wheelchairs for the elderly and infirm…….”
“Oh. There’s only one.”
“…….”
“I gathered some relatively intact-looking carts and experimented to see if mass production was possible, but the only one that exists as a ‘monster’ is this one. So I just use it as my personal ride.”
“Shit…….”
Anyway, the two-man party consisting of the underworld’s shadowy mastermind and the overworld’s great demon traveled without incident.
No Do-ha grumbled with her mouth, but she enjoyed everything there was to enjoy. With luxurious meats, vegetables, and carbs packed into the refrigerated cart, and cooking them up at mealtimes, how could she not?
“You know, Undertaker Awakener…….”
“What is it?”
“You’re utterly useless in my life otherwise, but your cooking skills are national treasure level. Without that, I really wouldn’t treat you like a person…….”
“……?”
As someone born with the four syllables ‘workaholic’ embedded in her DNA from birth, No Do-ha must have unknowingly suffered burnout while running the Highway Management Corps all this time.
The longer the pleasant camping trip lifestyle continued—one day, two days, three days—the more serene No Do-ha’s face became. The fatigue and grime weighing on her mind were washing away.
I was that good at comforting and caring for weary souls.
“Hey, you fucking damn regressor bastard. How long are you gonna wander around outside? If the Three Thousand Guild Leader finds out, huh? You really wanna see me drop dead?”
“……?”
Finally, on the sixth day of our trip, our merry backpacking party arrived at our destination.
The Taebaek Mountains. Jeongseon.
With the once most famous mining region for Koreans (now famous for something else) right before our eyes, No Do-ha wore her utterly ordinary expression.
“What kinda backwater dump is that……?”
“As you can see, a village.”
Jeongseon’s mine had a village formed around it. But the terrain was a bit unique.
In the middle of a cliff-like mountainside, a massive cave was hollowed out, and village buildings sprouted up like mushrooms right there.
A mining village, you could call it. Feng shui straight out of ‘back-to-the-mountain-facing-water,’ taking just the first character.
“The houses are made of stone……?”
“They used fireproof materials. Not bad building stuff.”
“The villagers seem abnormally short……?”
“In this era, being tall just wastes extra nutrition, so it’s convergent evolution.”
“All the residents have thick beards……?”
“It’s a way to maintain constant body temperature. Highly adaptable villagers.”
“No matter how you look at it, aren’t they dwarves……?”
Hmm.
I nodded.
“That’s one way to put it. But calling them dwarves is a bit speciesist, isn’t it? Please use the term ‘dwarf’ instead.”
“You said backpacking trip, and you bring me to a first-class Void embodying another race, you mad bastard…….”
Dwarves. A staple race in fantasy genres.
In any work, they’re born with the national spirit of ‘master blacksmiths.’ Thus, the high-quality weapons crafted by dwarves are treated as lost technology legacies, much like the yogurt cart we were riding right now.
Now you can guess why I dragged myself all the way to this remote Void in the Taebaek Mountains under the pretext of strengthening my power.
That’s right.
I came to loot some gear.
2
I first discovered this place, colloquially known as the ‘Jeongseon Dwarf Mine,’ in the 54th cycle.
Back then, I’d just founded the Highway Management Corps, so I was traveling the nation to complete the Great Unity Map (upgraded version).
The Jeongseon Dwarf Mine looked like it had jumped straight out of a creative work.
The sound of ‘clang clang!’ hammering iron echoed from all directions, and dwarves scurried about tirelessly.
As if mining in the Taebaek Mountains had never declined—the dwarf village rang nonstop with pickaxe strikes, hammer blows, and noise pollution.
But the Voids of this world aren’t that lenient. This place, which would revive as a flashy mining village again, had its flaws that prevented calling it an ordinary village.
“Hello?”
-…….
“Do you understand me? Hello? Hello? Can you perceive me?”
-…….
“Race inferior to elves. Your beard is extremely ugly.”
Clang!
The ‘dwarves’ slammed their hammers onto the anvils without any reaction. They completely ignored us.
In fact, looking closely at their faces, you could tell they deviated quite a bit from typical dwarves.
First off, thick beards. That was fine. But where eyes should be, there were ‘eye sockets,’ and where mouths should be, ‘mouth holes.’
Not wordplay.
No eyelids or lips existed.
-……, …….
Clang, claaaang-!
Their forearms were abnormally muscular and bumpy like Hercules statues, throwing their body balance into eerie distortion. The meaty lumps exhaled bizarre breathing sounds from their ‘mouth holes’ as they endlessly hammered.
-Oh……. Ohun……. Oh… oh…….
It wasn’t air stored in lungs and exhaled; it was like their whole body was a leather drum, with air whistling out from within.
Not the breath of life, but a whistle from the abyss.
“Hmm.”
Even for this Undertaker, history’s greatest linguistic genius, dwarf language seemed a bit tricky. Well, of course. It wasn’t an Earth language.
A pang of regret lingered in my mouth.
‘If I could commission weapons from the dwarves, surely incredibly effective magic swords against monsters would be born.’
After touring the mining village, there were seven blacksmith dwarves in total, and none could communicate.
In the end, in the 54th cycle, I only pinpointed the Void’s location. I returned with no other gains.
3
“Wait…….”
No Do-ha interrupted my old tale.
“Then why the hell did you drag us to this godforsaken boonies? They don’t speak, and they’re not making gear for you……?”
“Oh. It’s fine. I wasn’t planning to commission weapons from the dwarves anyway.”
“……? Then why?”
“Sigh, think about it, Workshop Master. No matter how impossible normal communication is, if these are really monsters mimicking fantasy dwarves, then surely their hammering and pounding hold profound secrets, right? Just like how a protagonist gifted in martial arts gains great insight from watching a swordmaster’s swordplay, a master blacksmith could awaken to countless subtleties just from observing these dwarves’ hammering.”
“Hah……?”
“And the ore these monsters are pounding—it’s not a mineral found on Earth. Probably something called adamantium or whatever. Naturally, the technology to smelt that ore into weapons is monopolized by these dwarves, not modern Earthlings. To process that mineral, an exceptional blacksmith needs to learn the technique from the dwarves.”
“……?”
“Gasp. What a coincidence. Right before my eyes is the greatest craftsman in Korean history from the Three Hans—the Samhan Jeilgong. Ta-da.”
“…….”
“Taa-daa—”
“…….”
“…….”
“…….”
“…….”
“Oh. So. You’re saying you’re gonna eyeball the technique for handling some Earth-nonexistent ore like adamantium or whatever from these speechless monster fuckers, then forge an SSS-grade weapon for your personal use……?”
“Exactly.”
“Hey. Please just die already.”
“Ah, I heard that last cycle too.”
“……?”
“Last cycle, I forced Aura Burst and got here in less than a day. So you choked me to death. Said I was making you look ridiculous. Told me to die for real if I was so eager. I didn’t think you’d actually kill me, but anyway. That’s why this time, instead of Aura Burst, I brought the yogurt cart monster to make it more comfortable for you. Didn’t I do well?”
“You fucking insane psychopathic bastard—.”
My throat was choked.
This time, I didn’t die.
Infinite Regressor Telling Tales