Chapter 78
Chapter 78
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 78
Chapter Title: Promoted II
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Promoted II
Shin Noah
“What?”
“Your Excellency. Upon reflection, I’ve never truly enjoyed my life up to now.”
Yoo Ji-won said.
“Even if I’m hit with a Time Seal and forced to repeat the ‘happiest day of my life,’ objectively speaking, that happiness doesn’t seem all that valuable.”
Uh….
What the hell is this guy saying?
“While ordinary people spend their sealed time enjoying happy days with family or flirting with lovers, the best I could hope for is reliving the day I got into university or topped my department—forever. Just imagine it, Your Excellency. Is that truly the most valuable happiness? I’d feel utterly wronged.”
“No…. What…. So what are you trying to say to me?”
“Esteemed Vice Guild Leader, Your Excellency. In the next regression, please inform me in advance that you are the Regressor who promises the gospel of an eternal day, the prophet and savior. Then this lowly sheep will toil tirelessly to craft the ultimate happiest day, knowing it will comfortably enjoy heavenly days in paradise.”
“……”
Silence filled the barracks.
“Uh, so…. If I’ve got this right, you want me to use Time Seal on you, but first, you’ll personally prepare the happy day you’ll repeat forever?”
“As expected of Your Excellency. Such keen understanding.”
“Are you seriously fucking insane?”
“Vice Guild Leader, Your Excellency! I’ll serve you faithfully like a loyal dog until this world ends. So please, I beg you, make this promise with your worthless subordinate.”
“It’s already almost destroyed! No, Ji-won, I’m sorry. This vice guild leader messed up. Truth is, I lied. There’s no way someone like a Regressor could exist, right?”
“I’ve always trusted Vice Guild Leader, Your Excellency, completely. But doesn’t that mean our bond isn’t trivial? Of course, next regression’s me might be too foolish to recognize you as the savior. In that case, just say, ‘I know you murdered someone at 15 and dumped the dismembered body in Bukhansan’s wild chervil patch.’”
“What? You killed someone in middle school? No, more than that…. Hey! Let go of my pant leg! Huh? Hey, let go! I said let go! Hey! Yoo, aide! You crazy bastard!”
In all my time as a Regressor, I’d encountered countless lunatics, but Yoo Ji-won was the first true psychopath to exploit my regressions so ruthlessly and single-mindedly for his own pleasure and happiness.
Even looking back now at the 1183rd regression, no one else came close.
What was even more astonishing… was that this guy didn’t just talk big—he truly devoted himself to me until the very moment his life ended.
-Grroooaaar!
In the 5th regression, I charged into battle against the Ten Tribes and lost my head in just two minutes.
But plenty of other Awakeners died before me in that fight, including Yoo Ji-won.
“Vice Guild Leader, Your Excellency! Danger!”
Yoo Ji-won even threw himself in front of the Ten Tribes’ tentacle heading my way. He leaped out from the side and tanked it for me.
I was dumbfounded.
Because I could’ve dodged that strike even without him interfering.
If there were an ‘Award for the Year’s Most Pointless Death,’ this would’ve been a finalist-worthy masterpiece.
If he weren’t my direct aide who’d been through thick and thin with me, I might’ve even clapped and laughed.
“Hey…. Yoo, aide—no, Ji-won…. What the hell kind of new bullshit is this…?”
“Cough.”
Yoo Ji-won spat blood, a clean hole blasted through his chest.
His blue eyes gazed up at me with an earnest intensity that would never grace this world again.
“Next regression… Your Excellency, promise….”
Thud.
And he died.
“……”
This is insane.
4
I was floored, but I wasn’t cruel enough to ignore the dying wish of someone who’d died in my place (even if it was a dog’s death—death’s death, right?).
I regretted not being a bit more heartless, but it was too late. I ended up delivering his last words to the Yoo Ji-won of the next regression.
“I see.”
The silver-haired cool beauty nodded.
This was still before the world had fully collapsed, so supplies were plentiful. Yoo Ji-won had looted a convenience store with just an axe and turned it into a fortress.
According to him, it had always been his store, but I didn’t buy it. He lied more naturally than he breathed.
“I understand you claim to be a Regressor. I also get that you possess the Time Seal ability. But these are all unproven assertions, aren’t they?”
“I know you’re a psychopath too.”
“Not surprising. Everyone around me has known for ages.”
-Kyaaaaak!
Mid-conversation, a monster smashed through the convenience store window. It looked like a giant cockroach. I channeled aura into my staff and pierced its mouth with a neat hole.
Crush! Yoo Ji-won followed up, smashing its head with his axe for the kill confirm. The monster twitched.
Yoo Ji-won had always possessed exceptional combat sense. Glimpses of that talent shone through even then.
We resumed our talk as if nothing had happened.
“What more proof do you need? I even know you love Romance of the Three Kingdoms and majored in Latin.”
“Huh? Hm. Hmmm…. Indeed. Quite intriguing, but still just unproven claims.”
“Fuck, I know you killed someone at 15 and dumped the chopped-up body in Bukhansan’s wild chervil patch. Believe me already, you psycho bastard!”
“…Oh.”
Yoo Ji-won blinked.
“Very well. That statement just boosted the credibility of your claims.”
“Why? Because it’s a truth no one else knows?”
“More precisely, because it’s ‘wrong information.’ It was at 14, not 15, and Dobongsan, not Bukhansan.”
“……”
“If your ability were mind-reading or secret-probing, there’d be no reason to feed me false info on purpose. Meaning you heard incorrect details from someone else. And I’m confident my murder was never discovered.”
“……”
“Hmm, regression, huh. And last regression’s me turned you into a mailman to deliver a letter…. Fascinating. Not many get to experience something this rare in life.”
This is insane, for real.
I grabbed a canned coffee from the store shelves and chugged it. Yoo Ji-won didn’t stop me.
“Let’s call this delivery fee paid. I’ve passed on your last words, so I’m out.”
“Ah, sorry, wait two minutes. I’ll come with you.”
“What?”
I freaked out.
Turning around, I saw Yoo Ji-won rolling up the national and city maps from the counter and stuffing them into his trunk.
By the way, the convenience store’s most striking decor was the ‘Tutorial Fairy’s’ skin. I didn’t misspeak. This bastard had skinned a fairy and mounted it on the counter wall like a trophy.
I’d bet my life he’d done that to at least two kinds of living creatures.
“Hey, what do you mean ‘come with’? You’ve got tons of supplies here. Just hole up.”
“That’s the worst option.”
Yoo Ji-won pushed up his glasses.
“Last regression’s me ended up leaving here to join your guild, didn’t he? Since I’m leaving anyway, joining you now will let me rise faster.”
“It’s not my guild—it’s Dang Seo-rin’s.”
“Ah, is that so? Sorry. Please keep correcting my mistakes from now on.”
“No, forget corrections—just don’t follow me! Hey. Hey! No, bastard! I don’t like you anymore! Get lost!”
Yoo Ji-won didn’t get lost.
Far from it—he latched on like a parasite. The host he chose was named Three Thousand Worlds.
Yoo Ji-won threw himself into witch cosplay more enthusiastically than any guild member, personally proving he had not just Minimap but also the ‘Dang Seo-rin Favor Skill.’
“Wow, Vice Guild Leader. Where’d you find such a cute kid?”
“It’s the honor of three lifetimes, Great Witch, Your Excellency.”
“……”
Selected as an early Three Thousand Worlds member, Yoo Ji-won rose faster and higher than his 5th-regression self. You could also call it peak clownery.
His official title: Operations Director, aide to me (Vice Guild Leader) and special secretary to Guild Leader Dang Seo-rin. In short, he’d solidly claimed the guild’s No. 3 spot.
As the No. 3 in Korea’s top guild, it was like landing No. 3 in the nation’s top conglomerate pre-apocalypse—plenty to brag about anywhere.
But our silver-haired psychopath Yoo Ji-won didn’t care for others’ opinions.
“Yoo, Director.”
“Yes, Vice Guild Leader, Your Excellency.”
“…We’re about to fight the Ten Tribes. Shouldn’t we hold your funeral first?”
“Ah.”
“Anyway, from what I see, you look happier this regression than last. I don’t know your definition of happiness, but this seems like a satisfying afterlife, no?”
“Hm.”
Hm, he said. This bastard.
He stared blankly into space with a blank expression and said ‘Hm.’
Visually, his lips formed a perfect ‘ω.’
“Vice Guild Leader, Your Excellency. It just occurred to me—if 6th-regression me is happier than 5th, there’s a good chance 7th will be even happier, right?”
“Ji-won. What are you saying, Ji-won….”
“Please tell next regression’s me to try for an even happier time before the funeral….”
“Hey!”
By now, you can probably guess how this episode wraps up.
That’s right. No need for an epilogue—straight to the conclusion: Yoo Ji-won, that utter scumbag, used his direct superior (me) as a last-will delivery boy every time.
From 6th to 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th.
Whenever I tentatively asked if he was finally happy enough for a funeral, he’d say:
“Hm. Won’t next regression be a bit happier?”
Delaying his seal indefinitely.
What kind of guy is like this?
I’ve read countless webnovels since the 550th regression and encountered infinite Regressor protagonists, but I’ve never seen a character exploit an infinite Regressor like this.
And this guy…. Later, from regressions where the National Highway Management Corps was founded, he occasionally went under No Do-ha instead of Dang Seo-rin.
“This Minimap is exactly what our National Highway Management Corps needs…. Thanks to it, tracking members’ positions in real-time is a breeze. Heh. Thanks for the free talent intro, Undertaker Awakener….”
“……”
A few regressions later, Yoo Ji-won had smoothly risen to Operations Control Room Director right under No Do-ha in the Corps.
So, viewing it long-term—over centuries—he was truly ‘climbing the ladder,’ step by step.
From regular guild member to my aide. From my aide to Three Thousand Worlds’ No. 3. From there to power player in the National Highway Management Corps.
A miracle creating something from nothing! Witness to a success story!
I couldn’t even guess how this happened.
A monster of ambition promoting every regression? Isn’t that the real monster?
Even more shocking: in 1183 regressions, this anything-goes careerist never once betrayed me.
One drunken night with soju, I asked why. His answer was a sight.
“Huh? Betray Undertaker, Your Excellency? I’d sooner die.”
“No, why? You’re a psychopath.”
“Stop the psychopath prejudice. You’re a Regressor with Perfect Memory—you store everyone’s every move and judge them. So I have to stay in line across all regressions to avoid offending you. Common sense, right?”
Yoo Ji-won held his clear soju glass, gazing blankly at the full moon. His eyes held a wistful glint.
“I can’t fathom how anyone on Earth could be dumb enough to betray you. On one hand, it’s amazing. Why are so many people this stupid?”
“……”
I really… don’t get this guy….
But put another way, no one understood Yoo Ji-won like I did. Around the 50th regression, I became certain of one thing.
Even if everyone else wanted Time Seal, this bastard never would.
I once thought he was born in the wrong era.
Wrong. He’d thrive in any era. Even in a civilization-collapsed apocalypse. Hell, he was optimized for it.
At this point, half out of duty, half joking, I had to ask Yoo Ji-won the ritual question.
“Ji-won.”
“Yes?”
“Is it happy now?”
A chess piece wandered the map, then toppled forward with a click.
So my silver-haired aide, near-unique Three Kingdoms fan, founding member of my regression life, psychopath friend pondered with hand on chin before replying:
“Next time, I think I can be a little happier.”
- Promoted. End.