Chapter 51
Chapter 51
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 51
Chapter Title: The Judge I
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Shin Noah
1
Continuing from the last episode, let's keep going with the necromancer's story.
The reason I suddenly recruited the Baekhwa Girls' High School student council president—who's the second craziest person on the Korean Peninsula (first place, of course, goes to the Sword Marquis of Yuldo Country)—wasn't because I wanted to be besties with lunatics, obviously.
There were broad and deep reasons for this.
And I must caution that I'm far from a black幕 character.
I'm not the type who draws up a plan all by himself, then watches it fall apart while smirking sinisterly.
Those Haraguro types are all adults stuck in childish trauma from communication failures in their youth, swapping hope in humanity for contempt for mankind—unable to escape it in the end.
"I see. But why are you telling me this while leering at me of all people...?"
"That's not the important part right now. No Do-ha."
"I see. Should I gouge out your eyes, brine them in salt, and serve them with soy sauce...?"
"Salty food isn't good for the body."
"You fucking regressor bastard..."
True to her rough childhood, No Do-ha quickly flew into a rage and spat curses.
Of course, as a morally upright adult, I knew how to respond calmly to her anger.
"The Cheon Yo-hwa I scouted on my own this time will be classified as a key asset in our plan."
"Why? Because you're a pervert with a serafuku fetish...?"
"I don't like those uniforms. Try being my age sometime, No Do-ha. They all look like kids."
"No, aren't you already basically a thousand years old by your own subjective standards, you geezer? How am I supposed to reach that age...?"
"That's not my problem. Anyway, the key reason Cheon Yo-hwa's necromancy is important is that it provides us with a stable supply of 'manpower.'"
"Hmm..."
No Do-ha sipped her coffee. It was the coffee I'd brewed.
Over my thousand years (771 at this point, to be precise), my barista skills had steadily trended upward. I still couldn't perfectly replicate Old Man Show's café au lait, but excluding that, I'd reached the absolute peak.
Even No Do-ha, who treated cynicism like her signature style, warmed up when drinking my coffee. "Fuck, why is this so damn good...?" she'd mutter.
Made me proud. This is the joy of being a regressor.
"Is manpower really that crucial? In this day and age, the only thing in excess is people..."
"I'm talking about National Highway Management Corps manpower."
"Ah—"
No Do-ha nodded, clutching her coffee mug with both hands.
"Yeah, managing this organization has made me realize it bit by bit. These Corps members are basically suicide squads. Send them into the Void, and there's a 20% chance they come back as flower-headed aliens or whatever..."
"Now we can hand the dangerous work to zombie corpses, and survival rates will skyrocket."
"That sounds plausible...? Let's try it."
"But first, there's a condition."
"What condition...?"
I glanced around. The Saintess had been silent with no lines so far, but she was quietly sipping her bundled coffee.
I flashed a broad grin in front of my trusty 'Regressor Alliance.'
"From now on, all of you are Baekhwa Girls' High School alumnae."
"..."
"Here, this is the 96th class yearbook. I've already doctored it. See the Class 2 photo? Just claim it's you and the Saintess from your school days. I was vice student council president. You were president, No Do-ha, and the Saintess was secretary."
"..."
"And this is Baekhwa-specific material I prepared. Dorm names, lists of teachers you interacted with often, school-exclusive slang—it's all here. Memorize it."
"..."
No Do-ha glanced at the Saintess.
The Saintess nodded.
"I've already memorized it."
"...Fuck, is this for real...?"
It was real.
"Hello! Seniors! Nice to meet you!"
A few days later.
We got a front-row seat to Cheon Yo-hwa slamming her head to the ground right in front of us. Not just her—the entire Baekhwa Girls' High School student council, real live survivors, not zombies, lined up in a row.
"Uh, yeah... I'm No Do-ha..."
"Feel free to speak casually to us, Senior! Ehehe. We heard from Undertaker Senior that the junior student council could help. Use us like dogs however you want!"
"How badly did you brainwash this kid...?"
No Do-ha shot me a reproachful glare.
I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. What an ignorant, foolish reaction. The 109th cycle's Awakeners hadn't experienced what kind of lunatic group Baekhwa Girls' High School was yet.
"Don't let your guard down. Disrespect their concept, and hell unfolds from there. Consider yourself warned."
"No, they seem like really nice kids...?"
"They are nice. But only temporarily. Every single one is a cannibal who goes insane without eating human flesh at least once every four days."
"..."
Baekhwa Girls' High School joined the National Highway Management Corps.
That very night, six Corps members 'enrolled' at Baekhwa.
Enrollment requirements weren't tough. Just drill a hole in their skulls.
"What the fuck?"
Only then did No Do-ha grasp the severity.
"Undertaker Awakener, what kind of insane freaks did you bring in...?!"
"I warned you ahead of time."
"I didn't think it'd be this bad...!"
"By the way, how'd they die?"
No Do-ha handed me the incident report. True to her ex-civil servant roots, she documented everything on paper even in this crumbling world.
――――――――――
Victim A: What's this? New recruit?
Cheon Yo-hwa: Hello! I'm Cheon Yo-hwa, Baekhwa Girls' High School student council president!
Victim B: Huh? Girls' high? Student council? What's that, some roleplay?
Cheon Yo-hwa: Yes? No, I really am the Baekhwa Girls' High School student council president!
Victim A: Aigoo. Our newbie picked up some weird shit somewhere. You look way past high school age just from your face—what...
Victim B: Yeah, kid. Roleplay's for someone like Dang Seo-rin—people don't interfere then. No one acknowledges a scrub Awakener like you. Student council? Please.
Cheon Yo-hwa: (eerie smile)
――――――――――
Yeah.
This much was enough.
According to the attachments, parts of Victims A and B's bodies were found in canned goods.
I diagnosed the cause of death.
"This was suicide."
"For real...?"
No Do-ha shuddered.
But she, like me, was a pro at dealing with the 'Sword Marquis.' A master who'd maxed out the 'Lunatic Diplomacy' skill specialized for crazies.
The moment she clocked Cheon Yo-hwa as Sword Marquis-level crazy, No Do-ha switched modes.
"Junior Cheon Yo-hwa..."
"Yes! Senior No Do-ha!"
"How's your college entrance prep going these days?"
"Huh?"
"Sigh. Back in my day, student council presidents were expected to get into Seoul National University at least. You're aiming high too, right, Junior Cheon Yo-hwa...?"
"..."
No Do-ha immediately asserted discipline and worked Cheon Yo-hwa like a dog. For reference, both No Do-ha and I had forged Seoul National University admission certificates to shove in her face.
Fakes, obviously. So what? What're you gonna do about it?
I was even set as a German lit major. My German was flawless, as everyone knows.
With [Perfect Memory] on top, I could recite Goethe's Faust and Schiller's poems on the spot.
I raised an eyebrow, feigning concern.
"Hmm. Isn't this basic for a Baekhwa student council president?"
"..."
Overwhelmed by her seniors' authority, Cheon Yo-hwa teared up and submitted.
If she'd been 'fake,' she'd have surrendered and dropped the act here. But Cheon Yo-hwa was real. Baekhwa existed in her head, and so did its traditions.
"I'll work hard under your guidance, Seniors..."
The academy city monster that once terrorized all Awakeners on the Korean Peninsula vanished without a trace. Just a pitiful student remained.
Self-inflicted wound, indeed.
"Oh. Zombie legions really are useful...?"
And No Do-ha confirmed Cheon Yo-hwa's value, even sustaining 'this level of roleplay.'
No reason to hesitate anymore. The avatar of pragmatism, No Do-ha, immediately rebranded Corps dispatches as 'field training' and forced it on Cheon Yo-hwa.
The National Highway Management Corps' unit structure evolved.
-Scout Unit: Baekhwa Girls' High School guards (zombies). Led by at least one Awakener. They breach the Void first to scout dangers and report to the main force. Zombies can't make fine judgments, so only simple tasks.
-Main Force: Strike team of at least two Awakeners. Patrols roads between cities, escorts migrants or caravans, commands zombie scouts.
-Support Unit: Repair crew that can fix damaged roads on the spot. In other words, manual laborers.
Adding the 'scout unit' via Cheon Yo-hwa propelled the Corps to new heights. Member disappearance rates dropped from 20% to under 5%.
Zombies turning into real corpses increased accordingly, but no one cared. In a world without human rights, zombie rights were a luxury too far.
"The true utility of corpses...?"
Corpses were great.
They didn't need food, felt no pain, required no rights consideration, and followed pre-programmed orders only. Once you tasted it, zombies were an addictive drug. Especially for a utilitarian like No Do-ha.
She'd awakened to a new taste.
2
"Undertaker Awakener. What are zombies, really...?"
One day, she asked me that.
"Pardon?"
"Think about it. Cheon Yo-hwa's zombies all perform their roles. Guards, students, teachers... They only follow inputs, so no handling surprises, but within roles, they look pretty human..."
"What are you getting at?"
"Aren't these just NPCs, not zombies...?"
No Do-ha's eyes gleamed darkly.
"You called them zombies based on looks, Undertaker Awakener, but that's not accurate in my book. Cheon Yo-hwa's a necromancer, but not mass-producing 'zombies'... She's designing a sort of 'NPCs.' Like installing 'AI' in a sense..."
"Hoo."
Not zombies, but NPCs.
Purely judging by utility, not appearance. Classic No Do-ha naming.
"Fascinating interpretation. But does it change anything?"
"Well, we'll find out gradually from here..."
No Do-ha smirked.
"But in my view, a-whole lot could change..."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah. With that in mind, could you call Dang Seo-rin the guild leader for me...?"
Even as Corps leader, No Do-ha couldn't order Dang Seo-rin around. But as the sole member of the 'gourmet pilgrimage club' with me, she'd come at my word.
The next day, Dang Seo-rin showed up at Corps HQ, reeking of annoyance.
"What's this about? I'm busy."
"Sorry. I asked the Undertaker Awakener to summon you. It's something only Three Thousand Worlds' grand witch can do... Oh, and this is a Necronomicon copy I found by chance at that old bookstore last time. Perfect binding for your library, I thought..."
"As a guild leader surviving on the Korean Peninsula, cooperating with the Corps is only proper."
"Could you cast some magic incantation...?"
Thud.
Dang Seo-rin plunked massive books on the table—titles even unfamiliar to regressor me.
[Supreme Court Precedent Collection], [Three Concepts Latest Precedents], [Civil Execution Law], [Key Dispute Tax Precedents], [Criminal Procedure Law: Statutes and Precedents]...
All brutally thick. Designed to physically and mentally destroy heads. Even Dang Seo-rin hesitated before their overwhelming presence.
"What for?"
"No worries. Grand Witch just needs [Repeat] [Voice Read] [Play] on them..."
"Th-that so? Fine."
Dang Seo-rin entered the warehouse and cast Song Enchantment.
Soon, countless precedent books in the warehouse flipped page by page, automatically providing 'voice read.' Quite the magical sight.
Then No Do-ha sent Dang Seo-rin off and dragged Cheon Yo-hwa to the warehouse.
"Junior Cheon Yo-hwa..."
"Yes, Senior!"
"Bring three guards and station them here. Ask them to [memorize every sound from this warehouse]..."
"Huh? Inputting that much detail drains a ton of stamina."
"Senior's orders..."
"Uwaaaang..."
And that's when I gaped in shock. I couldn't fathom the mindset needed for this idea—nor could I help but admire it.
"No Do-ha, you don't mean...?"
"Yep."
No Do-ha sneered.
"Now that the Corps is stable, isn't it time to build a court...?"
This woman... was trying to make 'AI judges' out of zombies!