Chapter 44
Chapter 44
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 44
Chapter Title: Returner I
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Shin Noah
1
There are a lot of crazies among the Awakened.
I don’t know about other places, but the Awakened from the Korean Peninsula definitely have a high rate of nutjobs. Like Dang Seo-rin, who’s dead serious about her witch cosplay, or Cheon Yo-hwa, who calls her guild a girls’ high school.
But at least those two understand human language, so they’re relatively tame.
Today, I’ll talk about one of the most standout lunatics among the lunatics—a certain dignitary known as the Sword Marquis of Yuldo Kingdom.
2
As I’ve covered so far, the ‘Wheel Murderer’ incident wrapped up somehow.
But the fact that the Saintess had fallen still hit me like a truck. It had been a while since I’d taken such a mental blow.
If I had to find a similar case of damage, it’d be around the time Go Yo-ri—whom I’d believed was a ‘good person’ through and through—smashed a grand slam right into the back of my head.
What does that mean?
‘Vacation season it is.’
A shout echoed from the far side of Busan Station’s concourse.
“You fucking bastard! What kinda bullshit is that?!”
“Hoi.”
There was also the pop of a firecracker going off—pew!
Seo-gyu, the man who exits the stage faster than anyone, eliminated.
“Kyaaah!”
People screamed and scattered in all directions, thanks to the fairy who knew nothing of human hearts. A familiar sight.
With this, SG Net would never be born. In other words, I’d voluntarily given up one of my means to control the Awakened, both subtly and overtly.
What’s there to hide?
I, the regressor Undertaker, had zero intention of saving the world in this, my 108th round. Seo-gyu biting the dust was as good as proof I was taking a break.
‘And that guy... he’s way too weak to women.’
Seo-gyu had long ago fallen completely for Go Yo-ri and sold out the Saintess’s info.
I could kinda understand that. Go Yo-ri’s mind-control beam was just that powerful. Even I nearly fell under hypnosis and started printing some 19+ gore doujinshi out of nowhere.
But the previous round was a different story. Thinking back now, that bastard Seo-gyu had been 100% recruited by the Saintess.
He’d probably slyly manipulated SG Net’s public opinion or fanned the flames of fear around the Wheel Murderer.
Cooperating with the Saintess? No issue there.
The problem was hiding it from me!
‘Ungrateful wretch. Betrayer. After all I’ve done for him.’
I’d raised him like a precious gem, and in the end, his bond with a female colleague outweighed his life-debtor-cum-master.
For the record, I hold grudges for a while. How long? Uh... about 200 years, give or take?
When a regressor holds a grudge, it’s not just May showers—it’s hail, frost, and sandstorms raging 365 days a year.
Unfair that mistakes from the previous round punish you in the next? Life’s unfair by nature. That little bro needed a good spanking for a bit.
Where else in the world is there a big bro like me?
Seo-gyu loved Italian-style pizza so much that I’d deliberately spared a pizza artisan in Busan and even helped him open a shop. My brotherly love was that devoted.
‘Pizza confiscation!’
For daring to disappoint his big bro, Seo-gyu would endure a pizza-less life for the next 200 years—Rounds 10 through 15.
Anyway, Seo-gyu paid for his sins with a ‘hoi’ from the fairy.
The real issue now was how to make the most of this vacation.
Crouched in a corner of the concourse, plotting my getaway plans, Fairy No. 264 came trotting over.
“What are you doing, human?”
“Planning my vacation, as you can see.”
“Vacation?”
“Yeah. The world’s screwed anyway, so I might as well enjoy some peace and meaningful time. If I’m taking a break, it’s gotta be something fresh I’ve never tried before, right?”
“Hoeek. So you really are a madman... Seniors told me not to go near madmen...”
The fairy scampered off.
As usual, I farmed some silver bells from the station’s souvenir shop, then sank into thought alone.
Suddenly, a conversation with the Saintess from a previous round struck my mind like lightning.
-The Awakened all love you!
-No, only 50% of them do. The strong ones make up most of that 50%, but plenty of the rest were gunning for you. Like the Sword Marquis of Yuldo Kingdom.
Her words unintentionally bruised my ego.
I, Undertaker, was a lowly regressor, but I prided myself on treating people fairly and helping them without bias. To avoid turning arrogant from endless regressions, I always used polite speech with new faces.
If I put my mind to it, I could make 90%, no, 95% of the Awakened adore me.
“Alright.”
I stood up from my crouch.
In this round, I’d win over the Sword Marquis of Yuldo Kingdom.
3
You can tell the Sword Marquis is a crazy old coot just from his title ‘Sword Marquis.’
Anyone who’s read wuxia novels knows it’s a honorific. One reserved not for male experts, but female ones.
Yet our world’s Sword Marquis was unmistakably a sixty-something geezer with a magnificently trimmed goatee.
Doesn’t the back of your neck prickle already?
“This Seat is the supreme under heaven!”
And his self-reference was ‘This Seat.’
True to calling himself the Sword Marquis, he carried a sword everywhere—but it was a fake one he’d swiped when some kendo dojo went bust. Aluminum, through and through.
Now you know exactly why I never got chummy with the Sword Marquis across 108 rounds. Total nutjob old man.
“Moreover, the greatest across the ages!”
There you have it.
You might be thinking, ‘Oh, the classic trope where the crazy guy turns out normal once you dig into his backstory? I knew it.’
If so, sorry to disappoint—I’ve got bad news. You’ve got zero talent as a fortune-teller.
A true madman is leagues beyond that cosplay crap. Dig into the backstory, and it’s like approaching a radiation zone—the crazy meter just climbs higher.
“Finally, This Seat is the Sword Marquis of Yuldo Kingdom!”
“Uh. What’s Yuldo Kingdom?”
“Hah! You don’t know Yuldo Kingdom? Alas! It’s the nation righteously founded by His Highness the Grand Duke, risen in fury against the tyranny of those English barbarians.”
I looked it up later: Yuldo Kingdom’s real name was the Principality of Shirand, a micronation.
Even I, fluent in eight languages, couldn’t fathom what fateful overlap this old fart saw between the English ‘Shirand’ and Korean ‘Yuldo.’ Ask the Babel construction laborers, and they’d just shrug.
For reference, Shirand—no, Yuldo Kingdom—opted for absolute monarchy over democracy. Even a strict class system. A bit late to global trends, sure.
Going further, Yuldo’s government philosophy came straight from Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
Back in the Three Kingdoms era, Emperor Ling of Han—Liu Hong—was a thing. That emperor, dubbed the Later Han Emperor Ling, was a cutting-edge trendsetter for his time.
1,700 years before Britain’s Wealth of Nations, Liu Hong grokked capitalism on his own.
-The nation is my property. Thus, offices are my private assets.
-Shouldn’t you show some sincerity to borrow someone else’s private property?
Ditching outdated bloodline-based appointments, he grounded offices in the one true faith of the world: money.
This reformist sold high offices for top dollar, and even offered installments for cash-strapped subjects. Contrary to popular belief, capitalism’s sprouts bloomed in the East first.
Though Liu Hong’s reforms failed, they inspired countless revolutionaries later.
Even capitalism’s homeland, Britain, couldn’t escape the influence.
Late 20th century, a Briton in some godforsaken spot decided to found a nation. He learned statecraft from ancient sages.
-Sell noble titles to fund the country?
A true East methods, West tools reversal—West path, East motive.
This Englishman went further, opening borders not just to locals but the world. Money knows no borders or nationalities, as Brits know well.
That openness rippled to far-off South Korea. Enter our star, the Sword Marquis.
He shelled out 70,000 won base, 250,000 with options, for a Yuldo barony. First Korean to reclaim nobility since the Korean Empire fell.
The old man puffed his nose sky-high.
“Call This Seat Sword Baron from now on.”
Sword from wuxia love, baron from his title.
Insane naming sense, but the tragedy didn’t end there.
While humanity splintered by race and nation, monsters treated all equally. When Seoul vanished in Korea, East Anglia evaporated in the UK.
No way a nearby micronation survived. Yuldo Kingdom, boasting a whopping four citizens, vanished into history’s pages.
It was also the world’s fastest-fallen nation post-Gate incident.
“This can’t be! My homeland destroyed!”
The old man swallowed his rage, nation lost overnight.
Had he folded here, he’d be third-rate. But he rose nobly. A patriot’s tear: one drop suffices.
“From now on, This Seat shall carry Yuldo’s legacy!”
Shortest-lived nation now got shortest revival movement.
“Yet how could This Seat presumptuously claim Grand Duchy when indebted to His Highness? This Seat claims only a lesser title, below duke—call me Sword Marquis henceforth!”
That’s right.
Sword Marquis in hanja? Sword Marquis—marquis of the sword.
From baron, skipping viscount and earl straight to marquis—a rarity even in Yuldo, which had no marquis rank.
Thus, New Yuldo Kingdom’s official name became ‘Yuldo Marquisate,’ ruled by a marquis. Sole citizen: the Sword Marquis himself.
Any sane person hearing this origin would think, ‘Get too close to that geezer, and my address might change to the loony bin.’
But amazingly, the Sword Marquis survived. Amid world’s end and monsters’ rampage, he endured. Far from asylum, Awakened couldn’t get enough of him.
His title’s literal prowess? Nope.
Answer: NO. He didn’t even know aura. How fierce could a fashion kendo guy with a prop sword be? Bet an elementary kid with a fresh yellow belt in Haedong Gumdo outclasses him in sword aura.
His survival strategy? Unexpectedly agricultural.
“Um, sir.”
“......”
“......”
“...Sword Marquis.”
“Oh, a junior of the martial world? What brings you?”
“Nothing much, just inquiring on this spring’s harvest...”
“Gah! Farming’s heart and care. Trust This Seat handles it well—why spy?!”
“No, not spying...”
“Gah! Chatty young junior! Annoy This Seat more, and your guild gets no food!”
Behind the bellowing Sword Marquis stretched golden wheat fields.
His ability: [Plant Cultivation].
Grows crops regardless of climate, soil, water—and accelerates growth 3x to 6x. Bullshit SSS-grade power.
Thus, ‘crazy old man’ evolved to ‘untouchable, unmockable old man.’
“Know this? This Seat could rot your bellies! Fancy a taste of famine peak?”
“......”
Sword Marquis.
To Korea’s misfortune...
This mad old coot was the peninsula’s sole food lifeline post-civilization collapse.