Chapter 218
Chapter 218
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 218
Chapter Title: Dreams Without Normalcy
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-Have you ever had a dream, even once?
Mugan's counter-question was half right.
To me, the regressor Undertaker, what people commonly call a 'dream' never came.
What visited me were only 'dream-monsters' that mimicked the appearance of dreams.
In fact, my tale had hinted at this several times.
--For instance, [lucid dreaming].
Lucid dreams were something even ordinary people could attempt. But I far surpassed that level, wandering through dreams as if they were reality.
--For instance, [precognitive dreams].
Just before the goddess of night, Nut, brought about the world's destruction, Kim Joo-cheol appeared in my dream and warned me of the crisis in advance.
Readers with good memories would have already sensed something off here.
Because Kim Joo-cheol himself, who supposedly warned me of the crisis, had no awareness of having done so.
Therefore, it wasn't Kim Joo-cheol himself. The phenomenon called a 'precognitive dream', or perhaps such a monster, had simply spoiled the future crisis for me.
--For instance, humanity's [collective unconscious].
Originally, the concept of the collective unconscious was merely an unproven hypothesis in academia.
But in this world, it existed.
Here, I encountered Go Yo-ri and the Sword Ghost. I also met Cheon Yo-hwa and Lee Ha-yul after the world had ended. At Jeju's Seongsan Ilchulbong, I saw Kuro endlessly rolling its head, and even the original owner of the Monkey's Paw.
In other words.
"I do dream something akin to dreams. But my dreams are one of two things. Either a lucid dream that perfectly replicates reality, or..."
I looked at Mugan.
"...nightmares featuring monsters. In fact, if we consider even lucid dreams as a type of monster, then all my dreams are monsters themselves."
"Good heavens. An aftereffect of [Perfect Memory Ability]? Or a side effect of [Regression]?"
Mugan muttered, furrowing his brow.
I shrugged.
"Either way, if something 'different from reality' appears in my dreams, that alone proves a monster has invaded my dreamscape."
A kind of litmus test.
That's why I couldn't ignore it when Kim Joo-cheol appeared in my dream making a fuss.
While others could dismiss nightmares as mere nonsense dreams, in my case, there was a high probability they were connected to dangerous monsters.
"That's why I brought you here, Mugan. If there are monsters parasitizing my dreams right now, you can track them with your abilities. While searching for the original Undertaker, we might as well clean house."
"Excuse me. Could you please not use an exiled divinity as a vacuum cleaner, Senior...?"
"A former exiled divinity. Anyway, if your nausea has subsided, hurry up and follow me. Next, we have to make my next self commit suicide."
"Ah, sure. No complaints there. In fact, I like it."
Stepping over my corpses, we finally arrived at the final boundary line.
The 5th cycle's Undertaker.
The last point where [Perfect Memory Ability] fully collected memories from beginning to end.
As we approached, the Undertaker, who had been reporting on Three Thousand Worlds Guild duties at Busan's train station, turned around.
Our eyes met.
-.....
They were pitch-black pupils.
Though the eyes of the Undertaker from any timeline were equally ominous, those from the ultra-early phase of the 5th cycle were on another level.
Dead eyes.
Pupils burned to ash.
Not so much 'a person casting a shadow' as 'a shadow taking human form.'
An aura like that.
-What are you?
That shadow opened its mouth.
The mouth was covered in the same jet-black darkness as the eye sockets.
I gave a wry smile. Even looking like that, it was amazing that after meeting Dang Seo-rin, it had become a bit more human.
"You from the future, Undertaker."
-What?
"This is a dream, and you're merely a character in it."
-.....
The Undertaker stared at us expressionlessly.
At this time, I hadn't set a 'password.' I hadn't anticipated ever reminiscing about the past through dreams.
So, from the 5th cycle Undertaker's perspective, I was naturally suspicious.
"I don't want to clash with force. You can tell just from the amount of aura. I am a powerhouse beyond your comprehension."
-...What brings the future me here? Planning to teach me how to subjugate the Ten Tribes?
"Hmph."
Mugan snickered beside me. When I squeezed his interlaced hands hard, he quickly apologized, "Sorry! Sorry, Senior!"
I turned my head to look at the Undertaker. He was slightly furrowing his brows.
"5th cycle Undertaker. I have a question for you. Do you recall meeting Dang Seo-rin for the first time in the immediately previous cycle, the 4th?"
-Dang Seo-rin?
"Yes. From your perspective, it was just a few years ago. Moreover, you've now mastered [Perfect Memory Ability]. Logically, the memory in your head should be perfectly preserved and freely recallable."
-.....
The Undertaker parted his lips, then closed them.
Like someone opening a drawer in their memory cabinet expecting something utterly obvious, finding it empty, and repeatedly opening and closing it.
-...Why?
For the first time, a faint emotion flickered across the 5th cycle Undertaker's default expressionless face.
Confusion. Bewilderment.
-I definitely met Dang Seo-rin. Just a few years ago, as you said. Yet the memory is... strangely hazy.
"......"
As expected.
I sighed inwardly.
Until now, I'd believed some memories had naturally faded over hundreds or thousands of years. But even the 5th cycle Undertaker not remembering clearly was odd.
-Impossible. Can't be. The day I met Dang Seo-rin was undoubtedly a turning point in my life. My memory can't be this hazy......
Slash.
With a single strike from me, the 5th cycle Undertaker's head fell. At the same time, the landscape of the 5th cycle dream collapsed.
In the pitch darkness, I asked,
"Mugan. No trace of monster aura in this dream either?"
"None. I scanned from the 250th cycle to the 5th, but nothing detected. Only Senior's presence is terrifyingly overwhelming."
"So, the possibility that a monster tampered with my memories is extremely low."
"Yeah."
Then, only one conclusion remained.
"...I've formulated a hypothesis for why my memories before the 4th cycle are so vague."
"Heh. What is it?"
"[Time Seal]."
A long sigh escaped my lips.
"I've also lost memories of the people I erased with [Time Seal]."
As you all know, when someone is hit by [Time Seal], all memory of that person vanishes from the world.
Their existence itself is erased.
Except for one person: me, the Undertaker, who used [Time Seal].
"But what if the reason I'm the only one exempt from forgetting their existence... is a side effect of [Perfect Memory Ability]?"
"Huh?"
Mugan blinked.
"What do you mean, Senior?"
"Those hit by [Time Seal] have their existences completely erased. I was no exception. But by coincidence, I gained [Perfect Memory Ability], causing a clash between the two powers."
"...Ah!"
The skill that erases existence: [Time Seal].
The skill that eternally remembers existence: [Perfect Memory Ability].
The two abilities I possessed were perfectly opposed.
"In the end, their collision produced a bizarre result. Everyone on earth forgot the people erased by [Time Seal]--"
"But only one person, Senior, remembers them!"
Exactly.
And thus, the crystal tombstones were erected.
Until now, I'd thought the crystal tombstones were proprietary to [Time Seal].
But it was the opposite.
In truth, [Perfect Memory Ability] had forcibly revealed the locations of the missing people that [Time Seal] desperately wanted to hide.
"Come to think of it."
My lament continued.
"I always wondered why tombstones shaped like crystals were erected. The shape seemed oddly out of place. But thinking about it... 'memory' is the act of reflecting oneself. In other words, a 'mirror.'"
"So, not crystals, but actually......"
"Mirrors. Tombstones made of mirrors, not crystals."
"Ah-ha," Mugan said.
"Then, Senior, you couldn't see the crystal tombstones from the start. You were originally like everyone else. Completely unable to remember the missing people hit by [Time Seal]."
"Yes."
"But in the 5th cycle, ta-da! Senior coincidentally obtained [Perfect Memory Ability]. And only then did the crystal tombstones start appearing!"
I nodded.
"My hypothesis is this. From the 5th cycle onward, I remember people erased by [Time Seal] without issue."
"Yeah."
"But for those erased before the 5th cycle, even I have no memories of them."
Here, I raised a finger.
"And... the pre-5th cycle Undertaker very actively erased his human connections."
"Yeah."
"Imagine someone whose family and nearly all human relationships have been erased."
For example, what if memories of even one mother were erased by [Time Seal]?
It would still be fine. As seen with soccer player Kim Joo-cheol and his son Kim Si-eun, losing one family member doesn't suddenly shatter a person's mind.
Just a vague sense of emptiness.
But what if--not one, but all family memories are deleted?
Not just family, but friends too?
Not just friends, but all close acquaintances hit by [Time Seal]?
If the pre-5th cycle me had ended up in such a situation?
"Amnesia...!"
Mugan said.
I nodded.
"Yes. Memories become like a half-built Jenga tower."
"Indeed. With family memories forming most of childhood gone, adolescent friends vanished, and later acquaintances all zapped away, it makes sense."
"Yes. So the only remaining memories were trivial ones, like survivors met at Busan Station tutorial. And unimportant human connections."
Such minor memories would naturally fade over a few years even before gaining [Perfect Memory Ability].
This is the truth as I infer it.
In conclusion, I, the Undertaker, appear as an 'extra' with no ties to this world, as if dropped from the sky--.
And simultaneously, an 'amnesiac' unable to recall anything about my past.
In short, whether I wanted it or not, I ended up with the most 'protagonist traits' imaginable.
...No wonder the exiled divinity [Administrator of All Phenomena Entertainment] took an interest in me. Anyone could see these were attributes pushing me to be the protagonist.
"Wait, Senior. Then why can't the 5th cycle Undertaker recall Dang Seo-rin well? You didn't [Time Seal] her."
"...Probably because someone was near me."
"Huh?"
I closed my eyes.
And recalled. The memory of first meeting Dang Seo-rin.
The faintly hazy, low-resolution scene flickering with static.
-Eyes full of venom.
-You're that guy, right? The sole survivor at Busan Station. The weirdo always asking people strange questions.
I opened my eyes moments later.
"...At the moment Dang Seo-rin and I first met, there was a 'someone' next to me, or next to Dang Seo-rin, whom I can no longer remember."
"Ah."
"Let's call that someone... X for now. X was probably an incredibly precious existence to me. Precious enough that X's absence created a huge gap in my memories. Thus... the data of my first meeting with Dang Seo-rin was partially corrupted."
Who could it be.
Someone who survived and escaped the Busan Station dungeon with me? Or someone Dang Seo-rin brought to recruit me?
I couldn't know.
I couldn't recall.
'Erased person X.'
X must have been a crucial human component of the pre-5th cycle me, so when X was [Time Sealed], my memory took a severe hit.
"However......"
"However?"
"Among my memories, there are people I sealed in the 4th cycle too. Like soccer player Kim Joo-cheol."
My memory of this Kim Joo-cheol was also hazy. Perhaps X was by my side even when I sealed Kim Joo-cheol.
In any case, regarding 4th cycle Kim Joo-cheol, I could vaguely recall him.
Even without [Perfect Memory Ability] at the time, I could somewhat remember.
"If my hypothesis is wrong, I should have completely forgotten Kim Joo-cheol too, since I sealed him before gaining [Perfect Memory Ability]. But I remember."
"Heh......"
"Why can I recall Kim Joo-cheol but not myself, my family, or X? This remains unexplained."
We experimentally entered the dreams of the 4th, 3rd, 2nd, and 1st cycles as a test.
Of course, results were nil.
[404 - Not Found]
[404 - Not Found]
[404 - Not Found]
Because some insane regressor had erased all his human connections, no substantial memories remained.
"......"
It left a bitter taste.
Why did past me seal away so many precious people?
While the question of whether the Undertaker was originally a monster was clarified, another riddle emerged.
[404 - Not Found]
This was my starting point. Origin. Birthplace.
--The void spread across the outside world might somehow be subjugated.
But would the day ever come when I could conquer this void entrenched within me?
Silently, I gazed long at my origin shrouded in error messages.
7
There is an epilogue.
"Ah! Wait a second, Senior."
As I tried to exit the dream, Mugan grabbed my collar.
Wondering what trick he was up to, I eyed him suspiciously. Mugan imitated Cheon Yo-hwa's laugh, chuckling ah-ha-ha.
"Nooo. Don't look at me like that. Look, even though I'm a monster from an exiled divinity, you've treated me pretty kindly, right, Senior?"
"I'm treating you well because you share a body with Yo-hwa. Otherwise, no mercy."
"Ah! So! Ruth! Less! To me, who endured days stained with abuse and torture inside Cheon Yo-hwa's head every day, your attitude was quite touching!"
I scowled. Touching, my foot.
Well, Mugan could feel 'touched.' Probably something like, 'This is a situation to feel touched, so feel touched; reproduce one of the following three poses for feeling touched.'
I shook my head to clear the thought and asked,
"So?"
"So, I've prepared a small gift."
Ahem, Mugan snapped his fingers in a pose.
Suddenly, the [404]-plastered landscape shifted to a hospital corridor.
A place we'd visited in the dream just before.
"...Isn't this the hospital where my mother presumably worked?"
"Yes! Right. While you were hopping between other dreams, Senior, I kept analyzing data by synthesizing all the dreams."
"Hmm."
I didn't nitpick.
From the start, in this 'hidden picture find' project, Mugan and I had a give-and-take contract. We'd exchanged what each wanted.
"Thanks to that... I restored this too!"
Creak.
Mugan opened the hospital room door.
The place where mother (presumed) worked was obstetrics. Unlike her son who would bear the moniker Undertaker, his mother worked in the field of bringing life into the world.
Deep inside the room. A mother covered head to toe in noise, her face and clothes unrecognizable, lay diagonally on the bed--.
And cradled in her arms was a tiny newborn baby.
"That's you, Senior."
"......"
"Probably."
Ah-ha-ha, Mugan laughed.
"Not certain. Since Senior cleanly erased all his human connections. Still, this woman has the highest probability of being your mother, and this data exists from around the time she likely gave birth to a child your age?"
"...You restored this."
"Yeah, did good?"
Mother (presumed) performed no actions. She simply held the baby.
Restoring what actions she took at that time was impossible.
The newborn was the same.
No sense of 'is this me?' at all. A small patch of noise covered the baby's face center.
"......"
Still, I could only watch the mother and child for a long time.
"Well."
I thought of Busan Station.
"No matter how much my memories are covered in [404], that place can't be my true starting point."
I realized anew.
Even without memories of my origin, does that hinder defining me as human?
Originally, no human remembers their own birth.
Even with a blank at memory's starting point, the fact that I, Undertaker, am human was certain.
The scene before my eyes, the 'hidden picture' found in the regressor's life, proved that.
"How is it? Like it?"
I looked at Mugan.
Mugan struck a triumphant pose. Like a game character automatically posing when left idle, without a millimeter of error. Even the tap-tap of his toe on the floor until my reaction, perfectly precise.
Yet somehow, that sight no longer grated.
I said what needed saying.
"Thanks."
Mugan grinned.
"Then, Senior-Senior, what do you think about granting control and dominion over the tutorial fairies back to such a kind-hearted junior?"
Instead of answering, I pulled out a paper from my pocket.
The paper reading 'No' was chewed up by Mugan with a sulky face, then spat out, ptoo.
Epilogue end.
-Person Without Roots. End.