Chapter 172
Chapter 172
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 172
Chapter Title: The Toilet Tub Theory
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7
Four days had passed since Busan and the Ark were submerged in the mega monsoon.
The Ark was faithfully fulfilling its role as an ancient civilization artifact submarine.
Which meant it was bobbing around inside the massive water pillar.
[It's quite the exotic sight. It really looks like one of those orbital elevators from a sci-fi movie.]
The Saintess offered that assessment.
Sure, watching a colossal H₂O geyser shoot up from the surface to the troposphere might seem romantic from the outside.
But those aboard the Ark were getting a real taste of what it felt like to live in a hillside slum.
Finding any "romance" in a watery hell where the interior flooded in real time and everyone's bodies were soaked through wasn't easy.
[People from other regions have come out to gaze up at the water pillar all day long. It's visible from Japan, too.]
"How's the damage situation?"
[No major damage to the other Arks■.]
There was some noise in the Saintess's telepathy, but it was still intelligible enough.
And how were we communicating with the Saintess even in the midst of this mega monsoon, you ask? It was thanks to a method we'd stumbled upon by chance.
My current position was between Compartment 9 and Compartment 10 of the Ark.
To put it precisely, it was the exquisitely positioned "9¾" point.
Yes, that famous checkpoint to the magical world of another dimension, right alongside the Han River.
Only from this spot could we manage halfway decent communication with the outside.
We'd discovered it last round when Dang Seo-rin had put up a sign there for fun.
No idea why this "magical power" worked even in the mega monsoon. Ask the anomalies.
"Any signs of the mega monsoon shifting to other regions?"
[None so far.]
[Three Thousand Worlds guild■ members are flying around the geyser on recon in real time, but nothing unusual■ has been spotted yet.]
[...Except for the sheer height and size of that water pillar surging endlessly, which is bizarre in itself.]
"Hmm."
I nodded.
Just as expected.
'For now, we've averted the destruction of East Asia.'
If I hadn't done anything, the "mega monsoon" would have stretched across the Korean Peninsula, the Japanese archipelago, and even the Chinese mainland, dumping rain for a whopping 200 days.
Actually, it could have been 300 days. "Summer" and the "monsoon season" kept going until every city was submerged.
A true mega monsoon.
Rain Oddity. Eternal summer.
The majesty of an ocean-class anomaly.
[Um, Undertaker.]
The Saintess's voice grew cautious.
[In other rounds....... Did this kind of monsoon repeat every 6 years?]
"No. It's a relatively recent anomaly. It used to head mainly for Southeast Asia or the Americas, but lately it's turned toward the Korean Peninsula."
[Why would that.......]
I had my own theory on that.
As I've told you all many times before, in this world, the various outer gods maintained a sort of balance.
Any astute, wise readers who could recall Three Kingdoms lore at the drop of a hat would describe it as "a cauldron split into factions."
"Picture a bathroom tub."
[A bathroom tub?]
"Yes. Filled with red, orange, yellow—seven colors of liquid."
Thanks to some very unique dyes, the seven liquids in the tub neither mixed nor encroached on each other.
But then someone—me, the Undertaker—suddenly yanks out the plug with a plop.
What happens next?
"A massive uproar erupts in the tub, which had been neatly dividing the world into seven pretty shares. Total chaos."
[...So the seven dyes represent the seven outer gods.]
"Exactly."
First, the red (Infinite Hell) and yellow (Myriad Phenomena Diversion) nearest the drain get sucked helplessly down the pipe.
The outer gods have been subjugated.
Now, the other colors, who were chilling fat and happy in their territories, start gathering around the drain.
To conquer the regions once held by red and yellow.
"This drain is the Korean Peninsula."
[.......]
"More precisely, 'the region where an outer god like Infinite Hell was subjugated.'"
Maybe that's why increasingly bizarrely powerful anomalies keep swarming around me with each round.
Ultimately, it's a battle between whether this drain—me—gets clogged first or the tub empties out.
"I call this the Toilet Tub Theory."
[...Undertaker's naming sense is sometimes hard to grasp■. Like Ubiquitous.]
What's wrong with Ubiquitous? It's cool.
[And calling it a toilet tub instead of a bathroom tub makes me feel like you really have some mileage on you.]
Why does having a tub in the toilet symbolize maturity?
That's when it happened.
-Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep.
A blaring alarm rang out from the Ark.
Sirens.
The sound resembled Japan's tsunami warnings. The puppet threads Lee Ha-yul had strung throughout the ship vibrated with a pale green glow, blasting out noisy sound waves.
The interior erupted in chaos instantly.
-It's dropping again!
-Everyone grab something! Anything!
-Buckle up! Forget your bags! Buckle first!
Aura-proficient veteran Awakeners bellowed from each compartment.
I couldn't focus solely on the Saintess anymore.
"Sorry. Looks like the typhoon currents are acting up again. If you spot anything odd from outside, contact me immediately."
[Got it. ...Be careful, Under■■■taker.]
Boom!
The moment the connection cut, the massive Ark shuddered violently. The hull tilted, then plunged downward.
Like a submarine struck by a torpedo, the bulkheads rattled.
-Aaaah!
-Stay calm! Stay calm!
The mega-monsoon's colossal typhoon currents were anything but gentle.
Void poison disguised as seawater surged, swirled, and slammed relentlessly.
Each time, the 12-Ark fleet got swept along.
Some days, the water level surged to 8,000 meters above sea level—Everest height. Others, it plummeted to 2,000 meters.
Abnormal altitude shifts.
Naturally, the survivors were in grave danger.
Headaches, fainting, bleeding, eardrum ruptures, altitude sickness were routine.
In severe cases, bodies bounced like billiard balls, smashing into bulkheads and shattering spines.
Even now, medical Awakeners clustered around Sim A-ryeon worked three shifts nonstop to heal the injured.
Without Sim A-ryeon, the casualties would probably be at least ten times worse.
-Beep-beep-beep......
The sirens from the puppet threads gradually died down. The Ark's vibrations slowly subsided too.
But there was no time to relax.
-Fuck, it's flooding again!
-Buckets! Get the buckets moving!
Whenever a "drop" or "rise" happened in the mega monsoon, flooding inevitably followed.
Just like on day one, entire compartments submerged.
But now the survivors were used to it. Unlike day one's heavy losses, people now efficiently bailed with buckets in unison.
-Anyone with body mutations?
-Over there, help that person to the treatment room!
-Move in pairs! No wandering the ship alone!
"Hmm."
After four days, the survivors' movements had sharpened.
Even SCVs could join combat if needed. Humans adapt to their environment and overcome—that's life.
Even if a compartment flooded in the blink of an eye or limbs turned froglike, humanity had the strength to accept it.
As a Regressor, my role was just to provide "strategies" and "systems" to sustain that resilience as long as possible.
My chin nodded in satisfaction.
'At this rate, I can step away briefly without major issues.'
I headed straight back to command.
The moment I opened the hatch, a monkey wrench flew at me. Whoosh. I dodged lightly, and Noah (formerly No Do-ha) glared at me with pure hatred.
"Noah. Throwing whatever's in your hand like that could hurt someone."
"Damn......"
"What if it had been someone else coming in?"
"I can tell it's you just from your footsteps. You've got the most annoying gait from the start......"
Muttering that, Noah looked utterly exhausted.
No surprise.
Anyone who's lived in a submarine knows the Ark was far from comfortable.
Sirens blared constantly, injuries piled up, and free rollercoaster rides happened whenever.
Seo-gyu, who prided himself on being a tough guy, lay unconscious on his bunk, strapped down tight. Dang Seo-rin's face was hollow.
Except maybe Yoo Ji-won, who seemed suspiciously like she'd taken a masterclass from Napoleon himself on sleep, the command staff were all at peak fatigue.
"Rejoice, everyone. I took a quick look around—no fatalities in this flooding."
"Oh. Yeah. That's fucking great news."
Noah snarked.
"Excluding the fact that we have to endure this shithole for another 36 days, fuck, we'd have cracked open a wine bottle by now, but here we are......"
"That's why I have a proposal."
"What proposal......?"
"Not lopping off my head instead of that wine bottle."
I cut off the line from last round's convo early. Hatred deepened on Noah's face.
"There are two ways to subjugate the mega monsoon. One is the endure meta. Just hold out another 36 days, and it's done."
I shrugged.
"For reference, that's what we did last round."
"Then do that again. Why pretend to suggest another strategy......?"
"Last time, it took a full 31 days before zero fatalities."
......
"We didn't care since it ended after one more week anyway."
Setting up puppet threads for smooth compartment comms, bailing with buckets to prevent flooding, somehow managing external contact with the Saintess between compartments 12 and 13.
All knowledge bought with past rounds' sacrifices.
"But we're only on day 4 now. Unless you love the rollercoaster thrill so much you want more, it's the perfect timing to explore option two."
......
Noah stared at me blankly.
Stress had burst her iris veins, leaving her left eyeball bloodshot.
Normally, medics would swarm to polish the supreme dignity of the peninsula's eyeball like a diamond, but wartime.
No spare Awakeners for a mere eye issue.
"So, that second strategy hasn't been verified yet—it's a first try this round......?"
"Correct."
"If it fails......?"
"It'll be the mother of success."
"You fucking bastard......"
Noah squeezed her left eye shut and glared fiercely (try it; it's tricky).
"So, what's the strategy......?"
8
First, I changed Lee Ha-yul's species from Homo sapiens to turtle shell.
"......, ......"
"If it's uncomfortable, just say so anytime. Ha-yul."
......
"Ah. Sorry. Left the maid doll behind, so you can't talk."
Thwack! Ha-yul punched my nape. Didn't hurt a bit.
For the record, I was in swim trunks. Ha-yul wore a haenyeo suit.
Not because it was summer and time for abs and fanservice.
It was to claim the title of first human to swim at 8,000 meters altitude (underwater).
Noah recoiled.
"Are you seriously insane......?"
"Yes. There has to be an anomaly core inside that mega monsoon. A 'eye of the typhoon' equivalent."
Squeeze. I tightened the custom belt. The turtle shell of Lee Ha-yul pressed closer.
Ha-yul flailed all limbs in protest, to no avail. She was essential for this op.
"How do you plan to find that core in this massive storm......?"
"Connect tons of Ha-yul's puppet threads between Arks, creating a vast spiderweb."
Twelve Arks total.
Link kilometer-long threads between them, carefully avoiding tangles.
Then the twelve "radars" crisscrossing the typhoon would automatically pinpoint the core.
"Ah. First try, so high failure chance. If the Saintess confirms we're dead, just endure the 36 days."
"No, without you, we'd collapse soon anyway. This shitty world......"
"Then I'm off."
Clang. I opened the window.
Seawater tried to rush in, but my pre-made aura barrier prevented it.
"Our Ha-yul likes swimming on trips, right?"
"......! ......!"
"Let's be the first humans to swim in the sky. Ready, dive. One. Two-."
"......!"
"Two plus half of two. Two plus two's half baaan. Two plus two plus two's half-."
"......! ......!"
"Three."
Splash!
I channeled aura into my legs and dove into the water. Brutal currents engulfed me.
Ha-yul seemed thrilled, drumming my back with her fists nonstop.
Of course, this wasn't revenge for the Uyuni Desert incident. Absolutely not.