Chapter 158
Chapter 158
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 158
Chapter Title: I'm an Infinite Regressor, But I Tell Stories
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“Ah, ah, ah… *zzzt*, ah…”
* * *
The [Operator of the Myriad Phenomena Amusement] cut a bizarre figure.
To start with, television static—their trademark—was crackling all over their body.
Their voice glitched like a broken AI. Even a Vocaloid track composed by a total novice producer would sound like a master singer compared to the [Operator of the Myriad Phenomena Amusement] right now.
“*Zzzt*, ah, ah… Aaah…”
Anyone could see they’d taken a fatal blow.
But all those odd traits were mere trivial ornaments compared to the ‘outsider god’s’ appearance.
“Eek.”
The most flustered was O Dok-seo. She looked back and forth between the outsider god and me, at a total loss.
“G-Girl…?”
That was right.
The outsider god had taken the form of a ‘girl’ with ‘white hair’ wearing a ‘white dress.’
The sight of the pale girl constantly shrouded in noise, black liquid oozing nonstop from bullet holes, was pretty heartbreaking from the perspective of someone who hadn’t yet lost their humanity.
“What… How did this happen, Mister? Ah, could it be the outsider god deliberately took this form to stir our pity…?”
“No, it’s planned.”
I dropped the Walther PPK pistol.
The ‘Godkiller’ could no longer serve any purpose anyway. That treasure’s role had only ever been to inflict a mortal wound.
It was a surprisingly little-known fact, but the gun that had delivered the killing blow to Korea’s god wasn’t a Walther PPK—it was a different firearm. The PPK had jammed.
In that sense, malfunctioning at the most critical moment, it was the perfect Chekhov’s gun. But this treasure’s job ended here.
“While you were meditating under the waterfall to sense the connection to the god, the writers were locked in the hotel building.”
“Huh? Oh, uh, yeah, I know that…”
“That’s when I asked them to write stories related to the [Operator of the Myriad Phenomena Amusement].”
Right.
To quote exactly what I’d said to the writers:
‘You all just focus on writing. Oh, and if you’re starting a new novel, make sure a god appears in the opening. Fix the god’s name as [Operator of the Myriad Phenomena Amusement].’
‘Let us out of here!’
‘Then I’ll leave you to it, writers.’
And when I’d made that polite request, I’d actually given them one more hint.
When describing the [Operator of the Myriad Phenomena Amusement], portray them exactly like the ‘white girl’ right in front of their eyes. I’d earnestly begged them for it.
As a result, the [Operator of the Myriad Phenomena Amusement], drained of power after taking a mortal wound from me, had no choice but to transform into the form forced upon them by humans.
In short, I’d collaborated with the writers to fix the outsider god’s appearance.
“No, why? What’s the point of that form? Isn’t it kinda in bad taste?”
“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Jeez, this is why you modern otaku kids are so hopeless. You just don’t get it.”
“…?”
“Dok-seo, that ‘white girl’ is one of the roots of Korean genre fiction and the least harmful form for a god to take when interacting with characters. Now that they’ve become that, the [Operator of the Myriad Phenomena Amusement] can’t threaten us anymore.”
“…???”
As soon as I finished speaking, the white girl shrouded in noise extended a slender hand.
And moved her lips.
“Ah, ah, ah, ■, ah.”
“Hello? Hello? Hello?”
“Hello? I’m a god.”
“Hello, am I ■ a god?”
“Hello? I’m a god?”
Like a broken cassette tape, the outsider god kept repeating the same lines.
O Dok-seo’s jaw dropped.
“Aaaah? N-No way! Don’t tell me this is that famous…?”
“Yeah. Allow me to introduce the cliché: [Hello, I’m a God].”
Some explanation was in order here.
These days, when protagonists reincarnate, it’s either via an accidental traffic accident from the [Reincarnation Truck] or a deliberate hit-and-run from [Posting Hate Comments]. But back in the old days, a different cliché ruled.
The ‘old days’ I’m talking about are from before KakaoPage or Munpia even existed.
Back then, aspiring writers were all going through their chuunibyou phase, churning out parody subculture novels like mad. And that’s when a mega-hit from Japan’s islands crossed over.
Like the Beatles’ British Invasion conquering the American music scene, this island hit bombed the mental worlds of Korea’s otaku brats.
The bomber was called [The Night Where Fate Lingers].
Translated to human language, it was ‘Fate/hollow ataraxia.’
Bathed in the moonlight’s blessing, the otaku went feral, flooding the scene with parodies. What a killer moon.
And among [Fate/hollow ataraxia]’s characters was a white-haired white girl—
Parody writers seized on this white girl character as the ‘god’s’ proxy, always sticking her in the prologue.
For example, the prologue starts with the protagonist meeting an unfortunate end. Then they suddenly open their eyes to find themselves in a vast white expanse.
‘Wh-Where is this? I’m sure I just died…’
‘Hello? You’re already dead. Sorry for killing you by mistake, so I’ll grant one wish and reincarnate you into a new world.’
‘Nande (What)? Wait, then who are you to say this to me?’
‘Me? Well… If I have to put it in your human terms… Shall I say 『World』?’
‘W-World…?’
‘Yeah. Hello? I’m the 『World』.’
Exactly.
Originally, it wasn’t a ‘god’—it was the 『World』.
The key here was using dignified double quotation marks (『』) instead of weak single quotes (‘’) to emphasize the god’s majesty.
Anyway.
As these parodies poured out like summer monsoons, over time, the ‘white girl god’ cliché started seeping into perfectly normal works too.
By then, the white girl had lost her original name of 『World』 and fully established her identity as a ‘god.’
A girl god appearing in the prologue to send the protagonist to another world (reincarnation) or rewind time for a second chance (regression).
That’s the historical origin of the ‘white girl’ who says ‘Hello? I’m a god.’
Literary origin, even. Fate is literature, after all.
“Well, of course, Fesna wasn’t the only origin. The ‘Truth’ character from Fullmetal Alchemist played the same role. You can see it in Japan’s AA works too. Still, the ‘white girl’ form for a god is best traced back to Fesna…”
“No, I’m not curious about any of that TMI.”
After hearing my flawless explanation, O Dok-seo had the gall to look exasperated.
“Plus, didn’t you say you only got into subculture around the 555th cycle? Later than me, and because of me. How do you know about 90s old tales?”
“Hey now. It’s the 2000s, not the 90s. And I’ve sunk the 555th, 556th, and 557th cycles into subculture. Naturally, I recovered all the old materials, read them cover to cover, and even decrypted every secret post in various cafes with amateur manuscripts.”
“No, fuck, now I see you’re not just a Three Kingdoms problem—you’re a total disaster. What kind of monster did past me turn me into…?”
That was when a cough came from the side.
The Saintess was staring at us with an expressionless face.
“No matter the origin, you’re saying that the form the [Operator of the Myriad Phenomena Amusement] has taken now is the ‘least harmful’ one for a god, right?”
“Yes. That’s correct.”
“Then it’s time to finish it off.”
The Saintess stated calmly.
“The final blow to end this speedrun broadcast.”
Indeed.
“Dok-seo.”
“Y-Yeah?”
“Take out the laptop and run it.”
“…”
O Dok-seo rummaged in her backpack and pulled out the laptop. The very same treasure the [Operator of the Myriad Phenomena Amusement] had left behind.
The laptop’s pure white desktop. And the white Notepad file contained the same question and answer as before, etched in.
[What is this world?]
[This world is a ‘speedrun’ game broadcast.]
A battle for interpretive dominance over the world.
Here, we had won. We hadn’t handed the world over to some piddling outsider god.
I placed a hand on Dok-seo’s shoulder.
“In the [Hello, I’m a God] cliché, the god always grants the human one wish.”
“…”
“Tell that outsider god: [My wish is for you to acknowledge this answer too]. Dok-seo, you’re this outsider god’s noh, so you can force your own interpretation on the god.”
*Zzzt!*
The noise clinging to the outsider god’s body intensified. I could sense them desperately clinging to their existence.
The outsider god reached out and grabbed O Dok-seo’s toe. Then, as if pleading with her, they parted their lips.
“Danger. Warning.”
“The entity known as the Undertaker is dangerous.”
That’s what they said.
O Dok-seo and the Saintess both froze.
In that frozen breath of time, the outsider god muttered.
“The Undertaker is a regressor.”
“A regressor is an absolute being. No one but the regressor themselves can notice the world looping. Thus, the regressor becomes the ruler of time and causality.”
“The Undertaker is exterminating entities that can detect their own regressions—ones called ‘outsider gods,’ one by one.”
“To monopolize time entirely on their own.”
“…”
“If even this entity is sealed, one more being capable of at least minimally interfering with the Undertaker’s regressions will be gone.”
“Allowing the regressor absolute dominion over time. Question. Is that truly the right choice for humanity?”
“The one who must be subjugated is not this entity. It’s the Undertaker. This entity is an ally.”
“This entity intended to inform humanity—through the individual O Dok-seo—of the existence of the regressor known as the Undertaker.”
“The Undertaker names this entity a monster. Counterquestion. But isn’t the Undertaker the most dangerous monster among all monsters?”
“…”
“Originally, ‘regressors’ are a cliché from creative works. Only this entity alone can block the regressor known as the Undertaker.”
“Warning. If even this entity is sealed, humanity will have no hope left. The regressor will escape the net of creative works and stand alone.”
“O Dok-seo.”
“You must subjugate the regressor and become the protagonist yourself.”
Silence descended on the white space.
The silence’s main gravity emanated from the Saintess. We hadn’t explicitly discussed it, but I was watching the Saintess as her monitor, and she was watching me as mine.
So that whichever of us fell first, the other could immediately execute them.
The outsider god was just trying to shake the bond between us with demagoguery, but like all such rhetoric, their words held about 10% truth.
However.
I didn’t bother with excuses or arguments. I simply waited for O Dok-seo’s reaction.
There was no way I’d betray my trust in her now, nor any reason for her to doubt me. If she wavered at another being’s words, it wouldn’t be trust or friendship.
“…Mister.”
“Mm.”
“Just to make sure, the way to seal that outsider god—it doesn’t have to stick strictly to the ‘speedrun game broadcast’ format, right?”
That’s what she said.
I blinked and tilted my head.
“Well. If there’s a better way, I don’t mind at all…”
“Yeah.”
O Dok-seo sat down and placed the laptop on her lap. *Tap tap tap.* Her fingers danced like a lively pianist’s.
“In that case, I think this is way better than some speedrun broadcast.”
O Dok-seo turned the laptop to show us.
On the white screen, her newly edited answer was emblazoned in big letters.
The answer was:
[What is this world?]
[This world is a novel written by ‘O Dok-seo’ about the ‘Undertaker.’]
Holding the laptop, O Dok-seo spoke.
“I’ll write your novel, Mister.”