Chapter 151
Chapter 151
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 151
Chapter Title: Chapter 151
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[Let's take the fastest route first.]
The Saintess's "broadcasting" voice rang out.
For reference, the Saintess wasn't in Seoul—she was lurking nearby. After forming an alliance with her, I'd immediately given her a piggyback ride and brought her along.
[The most efficient path is Busan to Jeju Island, then from Jeju Island to Japan.]
Hidden from O Dok-seo's view, the Saintess read the script I fed her line by line.
I kept moving my lips so O Dok-seo wouldn't notice.
At that moment, the Saintess used [Time Stop] to painstakingly decipher the movements of my lips, one by one.
Script: Undertaker. Voice: Saintess.
In a way, it was a slightly more old-school broadcast than an internet stream. Closer to the format where PDs or writers craft a program from a pre-written script.
Through the Saintess's voice, and with the Saintess using my script, we issued instructions to O Dok-seo.
[The first hurdle here is securing a boat from Busan to Jeju Island. That's the problem.]
[This is also before the Examination Bureau's anomalies have spawned, and even if one had, Jeju Island is domestic territory, so it couldn't be used.]
[If your aura mastery were sufficient, you could pull off Equal Distribution, but this is still the ultra-early game. It's tough to demand high-difficulty techniques from the character.]
[It would take over ten years on the Korean Peninsula alone to train her that far.]
[But don't worry.]
[In a speedrun, a safe boat is a luxury. Flip your thinking. Instead of riding a boat to Jeju Island, just 'drift' there.]
"What?"
O Dok-seo jumped in surprise.
However, O Dok-seo, playing the role of the game character, had no free will.
[Come on. Follow this road straight ahead, and you'll find a library on Yeongdo. It's half-destroyed, but the Yeongdo Library Reference Room is mostly intact.]
[If you go to the location I'm directing, you'll find a book called [Hamel's漂流記].]
[Now put that book in your backpack and jump into the sea.]
"What?"
O Dok-seo looked around frantically.
But she wouldn't have spotted me. I was watching her from quite a distance away, hidden in the shadows of the ruins.
The Saintess (me) murmured softly.
[Jump in. Into the sea.]
"......"
[There are life vests and wooden planks over there somewhere. Equip those and jump.]
"...Aaaahhh!"
Splash.
The sea off Busan swallowed the book-possessed girl (self-proclaimed).
"Hyaah! C-C-Cold! Fucking cold!"
[The character's yapping noisily. Just ignore it lightly.]
[Some of you viewers might know this, but Hamel was originally Dutch and was headed to Japan when his ship wrecked.]
[He drifted to Jeju Island on ocean currents. Our final destination is also 'Japan,' so it's similar to Hamel in many ways.]
"Hieeek! I-It rocks! It's rocking! Ahp! Heup, eep, w-water! Water's coming in!"
[The reason I chose the 'book-possessed' O Dok-seo for this playthrough has its logic too. O Dok-seo has red hair.]
[In old Joseon, Westerners were called red-haired devils because their hair and beards were bright red.]
"Ahp- eep! Ahp! W-Wave! S-Save me! I'm dying! Mister! Hieeek! I'm dying! For real!"
[Don't worry.]
[O Dok-seo's personal color is perfect for becoming a red-haired devil—it's no exaggeration.]
[And now that she's packed [Hamel's漂流記] in her backpack, the entire ocean's energy will help drop her on Jeju Island.]
[From countless playthroughs I've tested, the ultra-early-game O Dok-seo's survival rate for drifting safely to Jeju Island is a whopping 81%.]
"What? W-Wait! Then the remaining 19%— Hyaak! W-Waves! Waves! Hiaaaah?"
O Dok-seo screamed.
I leisurely walked across the sea surface, following her from afar. I'd planned to rescue her if needed, but she was so cowardly. Tsk tsk.
A short while later, O Dok-seo was dumped onto the beach by the waves.
Jeju Island landing.
"Ugh, uuek....... Hic......"
[Ah. As expected. We've successfully arrived on Jeju Island in just 31 minutes and 14 seconds.]
[In this game, the sea is far more dangerous than land. There are still deep-sea anomalies without proper攻略 guides.]
[But even a total newbie who just cleared the tutorial can cross the ocean easily by using character traits and items like this. Pretty simple, right?]
"Simple my ass, fuck, ugh, uueeeek!"
[No time to dawdle. Take the bare minimum rest and get moving again right away.]
"Hng, I don't wanna anymore......"
While O Dok-seo suffered from land sickness, I quickly dashed to Seongsan Ilchulbong and fetched the 'monkey's paw.'
The anomaly that sickened Kuro and once put even me, the Undertaker, in dire peril.
Specifically, it threatened my hairline.
When Sim A-ryeon's healing couldn't cure the hair loss, my head spun.
It was an anomaly full of issues in many ways, but in this outer god subjugation, the 'total luck conservation' item was key to the攻略.
I had to grab it here.
[Do you all know this?]
[After arriving on Jeju Island and getting captured by Joseon, Hamel eventually escaped after 13 years.]
[He fled Joseon to none other than Japan—our exact destination.]
[Normally, you'd have to wait a full 13 years for [Hamel's漂流記]'s cooldown......]
[But as you know, this 'logout game' is a buggy mess. Of course, there's an exploit here too.]
Toss.
I secretly tossed her a charcoal stick. O Dok-seo was still reeling from seasickness, out of it.
"Huh......? Pencil lead? What am I supposed to do with this?"
[In the past, prisoners in jail would scratch marks on the walls to track how long they'd been imprisoned.]
[O Dok-seo is currently in the position of 'one detained by Joseon.' So, enter any room surrounded by walls on all sides.]
O Dok-seo entered a ruined house. This was another spot I'd scouted in advance.
She went down to the windowless basement, locked the basement door behind her, and began writing characters on the wall with the charcoal.
正正正正正正正正正正 正正正正正正正正正正 正正正正正正正正正正 正正正正正正正正正正 正正正正正正正正正正
The Saintess's voice flowed.
[Hamel was detained for about 13 years. No need to account for leap years here.]
[365 days times 13 is 4,745. Divide that by 5 to get 949.]
[So, in this sealed 'prison' space, write the '正' character 949 times—]
Not long after.
Snap. The charcoal broke. O Dok-seo finished scratching the wall. Her fingers, which had gripped the charcoal, were pitch black with grime.
"D-Done......"
[Perfect. Now [Hamel's漂流記] will judge that O Dok-seo spent 13 years in detention.]
"Wow....... What is this? How did you figure out a攻略 like this?"
[It only works for Jeju-bound and Japan-bound trips. If your aura level were high enough, you wouldn't need it anyway.]
[But right now, this is the fastest.]
As we left the house and walked, a ferryboat that hadn't been there before now lay exhausted on the beach.
"Eh. I don't know how to row. Is that okay?"
[It's fine. This ferry will reach Japan safely no matter what.]
"Fuck, this is nerve-wracking......"
O Dok-seo boarded the ferry and landed safely in Japan.
Of course, "safely" here meant arriving with all limbs intact.
"Ugueeeek......"
[Japan arrival in 59 minutes.]
"I-I'm never....... Never riding a boat again......"
[Now we farm the 'hated medicine.']
The Saintess casually brushed off O Dok-seo's despair.
For reference, unbeknownst to O Dok-seo, the Saintess had crossed the strait comfortably on my back.
The Saintess's [Clairvoyance] had a 1,000 km radius limit. To stably provide navigation voice guidance to O Dok-seo, she had to move somewhat too.
[The 'hated medicine' can be obtained from various spots across the Japanese archipelago.]
[The closest is Sasebo City in Nagasaki Prefecture.]
[This city's coastline has a naval base. Not a human one, but an anomaly naval base—the whole area is Void.]
[But follow my guidance, and you'll reach the command center safely. Trust me.]
Midway, anomalies that spotted O Dok-seo and tried to annihilate her appeared, but I quietly handled the small fry.
O Dok-seo arrived safely at the command room.
And the moment she flung open the door.
"Eek!"
O Dok-seo gasped at the scene inside.
"W-What is this......?"
I—and the Saintess—said calmly.
[The line from protagonists in wasteland genre works who kill themselves.]
Dozens, hundreds of dolls hung from the ceiling by their necks inside the command room.
Some dolls wore white admiral uniforms, others medieval knight armor, still others suits of entertainment industry folk.
Anomalies of beings once called 'commanders,' 'knights,' 'producers,' 'commandants,' 'presidents,' 'teachers,' 'trainers,' and so on in various games.
This was a place I'd learned about via the Magical Girl Council in the 590th loop.
Swinging—
The mannequin-like anomalies dangled right in front of O Dok-seo's nose.
"Hieeek!"
[They all took the 'hated medicine' and died unable to endure the surrounding characters' loathing.]
"S-Scary....... This place is too scary......!"
[Ah, of course they're not real humans. They're just phenomena derived from fiction and parodies.]
[Since they're treated as already dead, they can't affect living humans much. Now, approach the nearest doll and open its mouth.]
"M-Mouth? You want me to open that thing's mouth?"
[Hurry.]
"Eeee......"
O Dok-seo sniffled as she pried open the doll's mouth. I, hidden in the shadows, also unsealed another doll's mouth.
Inside the mannequin doll's mouth. A bright red pill lay on its tongue.
It was the 'hated medicine.'
I farmed two of them. One went into my hand, the other to the Saintess.
[Now consume the medicine.]
Gulp.
O Dok-seo, me, the Saintess—we three swallowed the 'hated medicine' at the exact same instant.
Without delay, I pulled out the monkey's paw from my bosom. I'd fetched this anomaly from Jeju Island precisely for this moment.
I whispered softly to the hairy hand.
"Monkey's paw, monkey's paw. Grant my wish."
-......
Tremble. The monkey's paw shook.
The wish I murmured was this.
――――――――――
1. Bring all sorts of 'misfortune' upon O Dok-seo, me, and the Saintess (hereinafter 'us'). Specifically, make everyone we meet hate us.
2. The misfortune inflicted on us should be limited to us as much as possible. In other words, no dragging others around us into it.
3. The 'misfortune's' backlash—i.e., 'luck'—should only activate at moments we desire.
――――――――――
Twitch!
The monkey's paw twisted.
-U, kkigik, gik.
The monkey's paw's reaction was bizarre. As if it never expected a mere human to wish for something like this—its hairs stood on end.
That's right.
This was the 'proper way to use total luck conservation' I'd arrived at after countless experiments.
It might sound paradoxical, but you shouldn't wish the monkey's paw for lottery wins or the like.
The opposite.
-Make every lottery ticket I buy from now on a total bust.
Misfortune.
Collect and bank misfortunes of a size you can handle, misfortunes so natural they're a given, one by one.
What happens then?
The more misfortune you endure, the harder the 'total luck conservation' works to grant you luck of matching weight.
And someday, at the moment you truly need it, flip all that accumulated misfortune into luck.
If the 'monkey's paw' is trying its utmost to cause side effects on the wisher—.
Then from the start, twist those side effects to ultimately deliver luck later.
-Uk, kkigigik, gik, hik, kkigik.
Twitch twitch twitch!
The monkey's paw spasmed as if resisting my wish, but to no avail.
An anomaly couldn't defy its essence. Thus, it had to submit even to a mad human wishing for 'misfortune' instead of 'luck.'
For an anomaly stripped of its essence, only annihilation remained.
-Kkigigihikii......
Slink.
Finally, the monkey's paw vanished into thin air.
My wish was granted.
At that exact moment.
[...Ah.]
The Saintess drew in a short, false breath. This was a one-on-one conversation meant only for me, not O Dok-seo.
[Indeed....... In this way, manipulating human emotions.]
"How about it, Saintess? Starting to find me repulsive?"
[...Yes. If I hadn't heard the explanation beforehand, it might have been tough.]
The Saintess steadied her breathing.
It hadn't been long since the loop began. Her favorability toward me wasn't that high yet.
Naturally, even if the 'hated medicine' reversed it, the swing wasn't huge. A mentally strong Saintess like her could endure.
But what about others?
From now on, everyone we met would feel an inexplicable dislike.
That dislike would grow. They'd block our path subtly, slander us, constantly downplay our achievements.
Happy days were not in the cards.
As time passed, misfortunes would pile up for O Dok-seo and me inevitably.
[...Come now. By consuming the hated medicine just now, we've instantly raised this game's difficulty.]
[But in exchange for upping the difficulty ourselves, at one single moment, we'll get absolute luck. And we can choose the timing of that luck ourselves.]
Yes.
From now on, O Dok-seo and I, the Saintess—we, as game character, player, and broadcaster, three personas in one mind, would move in perfect unison.
Endure misfortune together.
Bank the weight of misfortune.
And when the most critical moment arrives, the instant that loathsome [Operator of All Phenomena Entertainment] reveals itself.
[That's when we convert all our misfortune into luck.]
"......"
O Dok-seo swallowed.
In the darkness beyond her sight, the Saintess and I quietly exchanged glances.
[This is to kill a god.]