Chapter 15
Chapter 15
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 15
Chapter Title: Internationalist I
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Shin Noah
1
There’s hardly anything as important to a person as their mental fortitude.
I already emphasized this in Old Man Show’s anecdote. Even if you know how to split the heavens with a single sword strike, once your mentality crumbles, you’re done for.
I, the Undertaker, also put tremendous effort into mental management.
Allow me to introduce my own unique method of doing so.
For about 5 to 7 loops’ worth of time—roughly a century—I work diligently. I run myself ragged east and west to prevent the world’s destruction.
Then, in the next single loop, I enjoy life.
“What’s the world’s destruction to me?” I cut off those thoughts.
I avert my eyes from the lives I could save. I steer clear of the fates I could alter. I prioritize only my own life, my own peace, my own amusement.
I spend that full 20-year loop or so entirely on healing my mind, treating it like a delightful vacation.
It’s a side event loop that veers off briefly from the main story route, something like an extra chapter.
You might criticize it as cowardly, but there’s no helping it. Even I, as a human being, have limits to my mental endurance.
Without a method like this, I wouldn’t have lasted through the grueling regressor life spanning all the way to the 1183rd loop.
And it just so happened that the 90th loop was perfectly timed as a “vacation loop.”
It was truly ideal timing. To reclaim my mentality, which Go Yo-ri had launched all the way to Mars, I absolutely needed some rest.
“So, I’d like to ask your opinion. How should I rest in a way that would earn me praise like, ‘That bastard really knew how to vacation like a champ’?”
“Wh-why are you asking meee…?”
The fairy trembled violently, her head gripped in my hand.
It was the Tutorial Fairy.
In a normal loop, I would’ve swiftly slaughtered her before she could kill Seo-gyu, but this 90th loop was what you might call my sabbatical year. I could act however my heart’s compass pointed.
Well, it also helped that in the previous 89th loop, I’d rounded up all the fairies and subjected them to a grand hellish survival program, which had somewhat washed away their lingering grudges… Anyway.
I’d captured the Tutorial Fairy and dragged her to a corner of the waiting room.
At first, the little thing resisted, but after I folded her elf ears twice to turn them into half-elf ears, she became very obedient.
“No, I’m just asking. It occurred to me that I’ve hardly ever had a proper, in-depth chat with you.”
“Eek. Why did a lunatic like this have to end up in my sector…? Fairy No. 264 is the most unfortunate fairy in the universe….”
“Now, now. What misfortune is there in a guy who was about to blow off a civilian’s head?”
“B-but, b-but! If you don’t instill in people that this isn’t a joke, it’ll lead to far greater damage and tragedy later! From a utilitarian standpoint, my response wasn’t wrong!”
“You’re a utilitarian, huh.”
I learned a new fact.
This is one of the delights of regression, I suppose.
“Anyway, give me your opinion on my vacation. You fairies all have your lives pawned to the Fairy Lord, right? You must daydream every day about going on a vacation.”
“Eeeek? H-how did you…!”
The fairy jolted in surprise within my grasp.
“You! Could you be one of those ‘regression-possession-reincarnation’ types that the seniors warned about until our ears fell off?”
“Regression-possession-reincarnation?”
“Regression, possession, reincarnation! Those cursed protagonists! And now this exam variant: a precognitive ability user! Our fairies’ most terrifying enemies! Because of you lot, in literature, we fairies get treated like early-game mobs!”
“Oh. So in fairy society, do people like that regression-possession-whatever actually exist in real life?”
“No? They just show up as regulars in classic fairy tales.”
As expected, Old Man Show and I are special.
I felt a bit deflated, having hoped there might be more comrades out there.
“I see. Anyway, don’t worry—I’m not particularly hostile to your Fairy Lord. You just need to give me advice on a 20-year vacation plan. If it’s unsatisfactory, I’ll grind your head into fairy juice.”
“Eeeek! That’s some horrific wording! I could win a lawsuit with the Fairy Rights Committee!”
“There’s no such thing on Earth.”
“What kind of barbaric civilization is this…?”
In the end, Fairy No. 264 raised the white flag.
“Mm, mmm. Anyway, you’re saying you’ve been granted 20 years of free time? And during that period, you want to go a bit wild?”
“That’s right.”
The fairy then put on a resolute expression.
“If Fairy No. 264 were given freedom and power as strong as yours, I’d plunge a revolutionary bayonet right into the Fairy Lord’s gut!”
“…….”
A utilitarian and a revolutionary militant, huh.
I learned a new fact.
Whether this is one of the delights of regression… well, I’m not so sure.
I’ll mention it later, but the fairies were actually divided into republicans and royalists. Not important right now, though.
“Plunge a bayonet? How? You’ve got an explosion seal on your heart. Rebel against the Fairy Lord, and it’ll burst immediately, melting your whole body.”
“H-how do you know even that…? Mmm. No, if you already know that much, it actually makes things easier. Anyway! The Fairy Lord is a far more ruthless absolute monarch than the bourgeoisie! Even if it costs Fairy No. 264 her heart exploding, for the progress of history and the innovation of civilization, the Fairy Lord must be subjugated!”
The fairy flailed her arms.
“Human! Your human race may be physically primitive and frail, but spiritually, you’ve achieved remarkable linear development! We—the entire [Fairy Revolution Club], Fairy No. 264 included—were deeply moved upon reading history books from hundreds of years ago about how you chopped off the heads of absolute monarchs!”
So there was such a club.
“Unfortunately, fairy society is in a hopeless state beyond self-salvation…! But if a strong human like you helps, external salvation might be possible! Human! Help us so that the red flag can pierce the Fairy Lord’s navel and flutter proudly that day!”
If this were a game, there’d be a ‘ding’ notification sound and text like, “A new route has opened. Will you aid the fairies in their revolution?”
“Hm.”
I was intrigued.
There had been one loop where I fought the Fairy Lord. Recreating it this time not alone, but as a coalition army with the fairies…
But I shook my head.
“Sorry, but I’ll have to decline that offer.”
“Wh-what…? Why, human!”
“My mind and body are a bit worn out right now, so combat routes are a no-go. I’m in the mood for support roles instead. What I need now is a hot cup of coffee for a lonely city man, not the tear-streaked fury of a revolutionary charging barricades with a red flag.”
“What petit-bourgeois thinking is this! Even at this moment, fairies are killing humans under the Fairy Lord’s evil commands—against their will! Your fellow countrymen! Don’t you see their blood, sweat, and tears? Aren’t you afraid of Marx-sensei’s scolding?”
“Sorry, but the country I live in has anticommunism fundamentally embedded in its national spirit…”
“Capitalist dog! Betrayer of the people! I curse you!”
“Instead, I could hire you personally and let you curse to your heart’s content.”
“I pledge eternal loyalty. Master.”
Of course, around the 210th loop, I did end up joining the [Fairy Revolution Club] as a guest member and firing the first shot of the revolution, but that’s a story for another loop.
I successfully hired the Tutorial Fairy.
“Uh, excuse me… big bro?”
Ah. Right.
By the way, Seo-gyu had been standing beside us, eavesdropping on the whole conversation. After all, I’d saved him from having his head blown off by the fairy.
For some reason, Seo-gyu was looking at me with the eyes of someone staring at a madman.
“What should I do from now on…?”
“Your ability is to run an internet community, one that any Awakener can access even without a network.”
“Huh?”
“The community name should be SG Net. Good luck.”
“Huh?”
I parted ways with Seo-gyu.
I farmed a silver bell from a souvenir shop, then piggybacked the fairy. I could feel her tilting her head behind me.
“But human master, what do you plan to use me for now that you’ve hired me? World conquest? Revolution? Dictatorship? Ice pick shanks? After succeeding in your country’s revolution, do you export the overly meritorious second-in-command abroad under the guise of internationalism?”
I have no idea what materials Fairy No. 264 read during her Earth research to end up with such distorted prejudices.
But as the fairy said, I am a capitalist dog.
I intended to dip my toes into the cutting edge of modern consumer culture.
“No.”
“Then?”
“We’re opening a convenience store.”
2
A 24-hour convenience store.
Before the Gate incident, these were commonplace small shops you could easily find in Korea.
They might not evoke as much nostalgia as a neighborhood mom-and-pop store, but once the world’s destruction accelerates, convenience stores proudly earn a spot as “items of memory.”
-Kid, go to the convenience store and grab some Dunhills.
This was a common taunt Awakeners used to harass the newbie.
From my regression experience, even after currency values collapsed, there were surprisingly many Awakeners who refused to ditch their wallets.
People who only used debit cards back in the day started carrying paper bills around after civilization crumbled.
Partly because cards stopped working, sure… But to them, money was like a talisman of sorts.
The stubborn belief that the world hadn’t ended yet. Or a wishful amulet hoping it wouldn’t.
It was pretty bizarre, but when multinational Awakeners gathered for operations, they even had a custom of exchanging their countries’ bills. Koreans with won, Americans with dollars.
Just like soccer players swapping jerseys after a match.
At one point, my wallet had collected over 30 types of bills.
Why am I bringing this up all of a sudden?
To emphasize that in a crumbling world, people don’t just cling to money—they place enormous value on “memories.”
“We’re going to create the world’s one and only normally operating convenience store.”
“Ho.”
What an ambitious aspiration!
I forcibly occupied a convenience store in Seoul (the owner had fled anyway) and made my declaration. It was the very convenience store where I first met the Saintess, full of memories.
Even after hearing my grand plan—one as chest-thumpingly epic as world conquest—Fairy No. 264, or rather, our store’s Employee No. 1, just blinked.
“What dog-eat-dog bullshit is that?”
“What’s ‘dog-eat-dog’?”
“The most fitting Earth equivalent for ‘gogyefapu’ would be ‘dog.’”
Dog grass-munching nonsense, huh.
But I was someone who’d lived nearly 100 lives. I was a master at persuasion.
“Fairy No. 264. Your world revolution theory has a massive flaw.”
“Hoeok?”
“The world is vast, and there are many people. Begging them one by one to join the revolutionary cause is something only amateurs do.”
I declared solemnly.
“A true master doesn’t seek out people. He makes them come to him.”
“……!”
“We’ll create a convenience store that draws workers from every nation on their own two feet. This place will be the revolutionary base of the Sixth International! You’ll be the vanguard’s first flag, the proud clerk of our store. The rise and fall of our International depends on how sincerely you serve the customers!”
“Store manager comrade…!”
The fairy prostrated herself on the still-dirty store floor, shedding chicken-shit tears. The fairy tears carried a floral scent, instantly filling the store with sweetness.
Saved on air freshener costs.
“I misunderstood you all this time, store manager comrade! I pledge eternal loyalty!”
“Good. Since this is a business for the revolution, I hope you’ll handle customer service at the head store 365 days a year, unpaid.”
“Yes! Unpaid!”
She’d merely switched from being the Fairy Lord’s slave to mine, but Fairy No. 264 looked happy.
If she’s happy, isn’t that what matters?
I stole a party banner from a nearby intersection.
I flipped it upside down and scrawled letters with my paint skills, which were no better than a child’s. Then I hung it in front of the store.
[Our store is open for normal business.]
Thus dawned the historic opening of humanity’s final convenience store at Seoul’s Jamsu Bridge, the “Sixth International.”