Chapter 12
Chapter 12
Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 12
Chapter Title: The Price of Ability
I released the time clutched at my fingertips.
Time began to move once more.
The fallen leaf that had halted in midair dropped before my eyes,
and the wind rippled through the world again.
The birds soared freely across the sky once more,
and the silence that had blanketed the world gradually filled with sound—.
I slowly grasped the door handle.
'...'
Beyond the cabin,
there were two familiar presences.
Thank goodness.
Even I
couldn't revive the dead.
"...Ah."
My head throbbed.
Memories flooded in once again.
I took a deep breath and pushed the memories down.
Click.
I carefully opened the door.
Unlike before,
it opened smoothly without a single creak.
'...Where is she.'
I first checked in front of the fireplace,
then suddenly turned my head at the presence beside me.
There was the girl.
Right next to the door—
her small, frail body was flattened against the wall, trembling while clutching the rabbit.
I glanced at her.
'No blood... seems okay.'
It was too soon to relax.
Humans these days
could look fine on the outside but be hurt inside.
I cautiously spoke.
"...You okay?"
The girl flinched and lifted her head.
She checked the ceiling once,
the walls once,
the window once,
and even the floor...
"...".
Then she quietly looked at me standing beside her.
Her eyes trembled slightly,
and she nodded faintly, very faintly.
I examined the parts I hadn't seen while she was prone.
Her eyes,
her face,
the way she held the rabbit,
all exactly as I remembered.
"No injuries. That's a relief."
Relief that I wasn't too late brought a soft smile to my face.
In that moment,
the girl's expression crumbled.
Her trembling shoulders shook violently, and her small body quivered.
'She's scared.'
I approached carefully.
One step,
another step.
The moment I knelt before her,
she lunged at me, clutching the rabbit tightly.
I caught her in surprise.
She stretched one arm around my neck.
With her slender, trembling arms,
she clung to me desperately with all her strength.
"It's okay."
"...".
"The roof didn't collapse."
Only then did the girl burst into tears.
No sound came out,
but her trembling and tears spoke clearer than words.
'...She was really scared.'
It was the first time.
The first time this girl had shown her emotions so openly.
Even I could tell
how much fear and relief she was pouring out with her whole body.
I slowly stroked the girl's back.
"...I was late."
"...".
"Sorry."
At those words, her sobs grew fiercer.
Her small hands gripped my robe tightly.
As if she would never let go.
It was a weak grip I could shake off easily,
but her resolve felt vividly unbreakable.
I silently stroked her back.
No matter how long it took,
I intended to continue until she calmed.
I had
plenty of time.
"...Ah!"
My head throbbed and pulsed again.
Unfamiliar memories surged in like waves crashing over a breakwater.
Unconsciously, I clutched my head with one hand.
"...!"
The girl looked up at me with startled eyes.
I forced a smile.
'...This is bad.'
I tried to say I was fine,
but I was too busy holding back the memories to speak.
My head hurt.
The memories were pouring in.
Foreign fragments
too quickly—
tried to swallow my consciousness.
My vision blurred, and the world seemed to shake.
'Did I overdo it...'
Was it because I stopped the entire world?
The backlash was worse than usual.
As I tried to catch my breath—
a light weight settled on my arm.
It was the girl.
Her eyes were still red, tear tracks fresh.
But her small hand
was gently holding my arm.
Her fingertips trembled endlessly.
Fragile fingers that seemed they would break at a touch.
But—
they felt strangely straight and clear.
She was worried. About me.
"Ah..."
The girl's tiny lips
trembled,
quivered,
then pressed shut firmly.
The girl stood on tiptoe.
The hand gripping my sleeve carefully rose toward my forehead.
"...Huh."
"...".
A small hand.
It was warm.
The girl looked up at me with worried eyes.
'Don't hurt.'
It was strange.
I could hear the words.
Even though she hadn't spoken.
My head felt a bit clearer.
"...I'm okay now."
"...".
"Thank you."
At my words,
the girl's eyes widened round.
But—
she kept her hand on my forehead, just blinking.
"I'm fine."
"...".
"Really. It's nothing."
It was true.
Truly nothing serious.
This pain was purely from my own stubbornness.
I
am the sole eternity
that holds the world's time,
the world's possibilities.
Time passed,
time flowing,
time yet to come,
time vanished,
all of it is mine.
So—
when I use this power, all possibilities suddenly flood in.
Sometimes,
they are memories I've experienced,
sometimes fragments of futures yet to come,
and sometimes memories of 'me' from entirely different possibilities.
Before, it was fine.
Memories I'd lived through came back quickly enough,
unseen futures could just be tucked away in my mind,
and different possibilities were dismissed since this 'me' wouldn't pursue them.
Thus,
even when all the fragments rushed in, there was no confusion.
But...
Was it because I endlessly learned,
obsessively memorized,
and tried not to miss anything?
At some point,
they all started feeling like 'me',
and I grasped every possibility without discrimination.
As a result, the boundaries distinguishing them gradually blurred.
'Overload of memories... was it like this.'
I slightly
unlocked the seal on my memories.
As I repeated long slumbers, my old friend had grown worried about me.
That day he came to wake me as always,
he was with a vaguely familiar goddess.
"...Huh."
Half-closing my eyes, I stared blankly at her.
'...Who was it.'
I slowly traced back through my memories one by one.
"...".
"...Hello, long time no see."
"...Sigh."
She was the Goddess of Oblivion.
Perhaps because I recognized her so slowly.
She sighed and quietly raised her hand to examine my memories.
Silently,
very carefully.
As if, after a bookshelf collapsed
and books scattered everywhere,
searching for them one by one.
The goddess moved her hand along the tangled threads of my memories.
Time passed,
and she let out a longer sigh than before.
"It's a mess."
"That bad?"
"Yes. Your memories aren't just tangled; they've clumped together."
Between my worried old friend peering at me
and the goddess clicking her tongue and glaring,
I quietly turned my head.
Their gazes somehow stung more.
"Worse than last time. What have you been doing to let it get this far?"
"Sleeping."
"That's not what I'm asking...! I definitely gave you the Waters of Oblivion, didn't I?"
The goddess planted her hands on her hips and growled.
She had come before for the same issue.
My friend had noticed something wrong with my memories and called her.
Endless learning.
Obsessive acquisition.
Constant organization.
Repeating all that endlessly had caused confusion in recalling memories, he said.
The first time she came,
she gave me the 'Waters of Oblivion'.
If I set aside unnecessary memories and drink it,
I could slowly and naturally forget just those, she said.
A consideration from the gods to eternal time.
But—
I
hadn't touched it yet.
"Did you drink it or not."
"...".
"Silence isn't an answer, you know? Answer me, Lord Row."
I slowly turned to look at the goddess.
Her eyes narrowed.
"...You didn't, did you?"
"Yeah."
"...Siiiigh."
The goddess who had tilted her head back for a long sigh glared at me.
Her eyes held clear reproach.
"Why didn't you drink it? It's so tangled now, even unorganized memories might start vanishing."
"I don't know which memories are unnecessary. And..."
"And?"
"A me without those memories... wouldn't be this me."
The two gods looking at me changed their expressions slightly.
Letting out a small sigh, my old friend cautiously spoke.
"...Still, wouldn't it be good to drink it now?"
"I'm fine. I can manage somehow. It's not hindering life much."
"Argh, whatever! Do what you want, you stubborn old coot."
After that day,
I still never touched the Waters of Oblivion.
"...!"
"Ah... sorry."
Was it because the memory sharpened?
I must have been lost in it for quite a while.
The girl was shaking my shoulder with a lost expression.
"Just thinking for a moment."
"...".
"Really."
The girl still looked at me anxiously.
Her fingertips trembled faintly.
As if she might burst into tears again any second.
I slowly reached out and gently placed my hand on her head.
"Hungry?"
The girl stared at me blankly.
I rummaged through what I'd bought and handed her a red, plump fruit.
"...Couldn't get milk, so this."
"...?"
"It's what I used to eat a lot. The herbalist said even babies can have it."
The girl cautiously reached out and took the fruit.
Her small, frail hand wrapped around the round fruit.
"It tastes good. Crisp and tangy."
"...".
The girl's eyes wavered slightly.
Not distrust, not expectation—
hesitation laced with caution.
I waited quietly.
Her choices were always hers to make.
A moment later.
The girl parted her lips slightly and took a small bite of the fruit.
"...!"
The girl's eyes lit up.
And then,
for the first time.
She smiled faintly.
Very faintly.
But definitely.
"...Ugh!"
It started again.
I thought it was over,
but a shard of memory sharpened instantly.
My vision blurred for a moment,
and soon an entirely different scene unfolded before me.
A dilapidated castle-like place.
A woman who seemed excited somewhere.
"How do I look? How do I look? Don't I look like a proper knight like this?"
The woman smiled brightly at me.
...Who the hell is this.