I Love You So Damn Much, You Idiot
A moment later, Jeok Seong seemed to regain his senses. Spitting out a sharp gasp, he raised his head and glared at me.
Set into a head as massive and crude as a boulder were thick, greasy lips that looked like greed incarnate. Beads of sweat—likely from overexerting his lightness skill—dotted his brow alongside smears of dirt. Quite the striking impression. An entirely negative one, that is.
Jeok Seong began bellowing at the top of his lungs.
"You scoundrel, Daoist Cheongun! How dare you lay a bed of thorns before my senior sister's path?! I'll kill y—"
"Shut up."
Sick of looking at him and even sicker of hearing him, I didn't even let him finish before stomping his head back down into the dirt.
"Dammit, whose path is full of thorns?"
You're the bed of thorns. How on earth did the path of my love end up choked with a bramble that smells like chestnut blossoms?
And no, that wasn't a metaphor—Jeok Seong literally reeked of chestnut blossoms. Whether from Kongtong or Wudang, anyone who set their heart on the Dao ought to purify their body and mind to awaken to the celestial truth, yet here this guy was.
Jeok Seong flailed desperately for a good while, trying to escape from beneath my boot. The moment I casually lifted my foot, he scrambled up and rushed straight to Eun Ae-hyang's side.
"Senior Sister! Did that bastard harm you in any way?!"
"I'm fine. Calm down."
Eun Ae-hyang tried to soothe and settle him, but her words fell on deaf ears; Jeok Seong was still practically foaming at the mouth.
"Worry no longer! A villain of that caliber is nothing before my supreme art, the Demon-Subduing Sword Technique! I'll cut him down in an instant!"
"......You don't even know how to use the Demon-Subduing Sword Technique."
Yet Jeok Seong had already drawn his sword and leveled it straight at me.
"Now that the Demonic Cult is vanquished, that scoundrel blocking Senior Sister's future is the demon itself! Therefore, any swordsmanship that strikes him down is, by definition, the Demon-Subduing Sword Technique, is it not?!"
Hearing such preposterous gibberish, a deep sigh escaped me unbidden.
"You're truly talking out of your ass."
"Now then! Daoist Cheongun! Why don't you draw your blade?! Is there some kind of problem?!"
"I've got a mountain of problems."
I was currently wrestling with a few profound dilemmas: Did I truly need to unsheathe a blade just to tenderize this lump of meat into porridge? And if I did draw my sword, how exactly should I beat the living daylights out of him? Among several other similar considerations.
A sneer spread across Jeok Seong's face.
"The prestige of the world-renowned Wudang Sect has truly hit rock bottom! To think they hail a weakling like this as the future of Wudang!"
......Right, yes, of course. I really ought to carve Wudang's signature pine emblem into this bastard's forehead. Slice off his waist, too. Maybe lop off an arm or two while I'm at it.
No matter how hard a parrotfinch flutters after an egret, the egret never deigns to look back. But if the finch dares to drop shit on the egret's leg, the egret will look back—specifically to tear that little bird's asshole to bloody shreds.
If he insulted me, I could brush it off as nothing more than the petty jealousy of an amateur. But insulting the Wudang Sect? Unacceptable. Tolerate that, and I'd essentially be taking a foul dump on my own soul.
Slowly, I raised my sword, leveled it at Jeok Seong, and focused qi into my dantian.
"Fine. Since that mouth of yours has run for so long, it's lived a full enough life—wait, what?"
I froze and peered straight ahead. For some reason, the air around Eun Ae-hyang had turned distinctly ominous.
Silently glaring at Jeok Seong, whose attention was still entirely fixed on me, Eun Ae-hyang tapped him on the shoulder with two fingers.
Jeok Seong turned around.
"Hm? Senior Sister, what is i—OOF!"
Mid-sentence, an ungodly sound tore from his throat as he was launched straight into the sky. An instant later, the airborne Jeok Seong plummeted back down, his face planting directly into the dirt.
Watching this unfold, Eun Ae-hyang raised her boot and stomped his head deeper into the soil, just as I had done moments ago.
"Guh-ack!"
"Junior Brother, you've grown remarkably insolent."
Eun Ae-hyang looked down at him with eyes as cold as a frozen lake. Even without seeing her face, Jeok Seong seemed to feel the murderous chill radiating from her, and his entire frame shuddered.
"W-What do you mean by that......?"
"I've taught you quite a lot over the years, haven't I?"
"Y-Yes, of course! That is why to me, Senior Sister is no different from a second master! But why......"
"My shadow."
Huh? Her shadow?
Eun Ae-hyang continued smoothly. "The old adage says that one should never block their master's path, nor dare to step upon their master's shadow. Yet you stood on my shadow the entire time."
Well, doing that was indeed considered rude. But could anyone even see a shadow that clearly in the crack of dawn?
Yet Jeok Seong seemed wholly persuaded by her reasoning.
"So that was it! To think I committed such insolence without realizing! Please forgive me, Senior Sister!"
His muffled voice bubbled up through the dirt. Judging by the sheer volume of his shout, the man's durability was undeniably extraordinary. It finally made sense how someone so utterly devoid of tact had managed to survive in the martial world.
Eun Ae-hyang let out a sigh and turned to look at me. At that moment, her voice rang inside my mind. It was the Secret Sound Transmission, a technique that sent thoughts directly to an intended listener.
'The mood's ruined. Let's postpone the duel.'
I nodded and transmitted back.
'Then the hundred-and-first match is a draw as well.'
At my response, Eun Ae-hyang glared at me and puffed out her cheeks.
'The match hadn't even started, so it's void.'
'We've already fought a hundred times. Does one more really matter?'
'It matters.'
'Why?'
'It's supposed to be a duel between the two of us. An intruder got in the way.'
'Fair enough.'
Still, ending things like this felt unsatisfying. Then again, it wasn't like we could fight right in front of Jeok Seong. If we clashed as usual and wrapped things up by morning, it would only arouse suspicion. If suspicions mounted, we might be forced into a real duel to the death—a life-and-death struggle.
And that was something I absolutely refused to let happen.
I shook my head. I need to think of more varied moves... Wait. Varied moves? Different options?
......A brilliant idea struck me.
Up until now, we had crossed blades a hundred times trying to determine a winner. Yet no winner had emerged. In that case, couldn't we settle the score with something else entirely? As long as it took the form of a contest, it would work. Whether it was fist fighting, lightness skills, spearplay, or even hunting! We could compete in literally anything.
Ah, how did such a genius thought even cross my mind?
Ah.
It's because of that bastard Jeok Seong.
Thinking that, I gazed down at Jeok Seong, whose face was still planted firmly in the dirt under Eun Ae-hyang's boot. Even that hideous carcass of his looked downright lovely right now.
Yeah.
I love you so damn much, you idiot.
Had my emotions leaked onto my face? Eun Ae-hyang asked through sound transmission.
'What's with that look? Is there something you want to do?'
Oh, you bet there is. Since things had turned out like this, I might as well pitch it to her right now. What if she refused? Then we'd just keep doing what we'd always done. A winner would emerge eventually either way.
I sent my scheme over through voice transmission.
'Then let me make a proposition.'
'A proposition?'
Eun Ae-hyang pondered for a moment before indicating she'd hear me out. Good. All or nothing.
'Over our hundred sword duels, did you ever see a way to beat me?'
'What do you mean by that? Are you saying I'm weaker than you?'
'Not a chance. If you were, a winner would have been decided long ago. I'm saying this out of respect for you.'
'......Honestly, between the mercurial shifts of my sword and the auspicious harmony of yours, it feels impossible to reach a conclusion.'
'Right. That's why the time before last, we even tried swapping sword styles to duel.'
'That was fun, though.'
Right, right. It was fun.
Wait. What? You had fun too?
Thinking I'd misheard, my eyes flew wide open, whereupon Eun Ae-hyang glared at me as if she wanted to murder me on the spot.
Ah, I'd better change the subject before digging any deeper. If I didn't, she would undoubtedly unsheathe her sword and restart the fight right here. If I probed even a single word further on that topic, she'd probably turn this into a duel to the death just to silence me, Jeok Seong or no Jeok Seong.
I swiftly steered the conversation toward my real objective.
'So, starting from the next match, what do you say we compete with something other than swords?'
'Something other than swords? Spear? Staff? Fists?'
'Quick on the uptake. If there's anything else you have in mind, we can lay down the rules before we compete.'
Having heard out my proposition, Eun Ae-hyang stopped sending transmissions and simply stared at me blankly.
'Why are you staring at me without saying anything?'
'Are you admitting that even the sword of Wudang, pillar of the martial realm, cannot easily best the sword of Kongtong?'
'Think whatever you want.'
Had her words been intended to demean Wudang, I would have insisted on settling the score with swords next time as well. But Eun Ae-hyang's sect was none other than the Kongtong Sect, which, alongside our Wudang, manifested the ideals of the Dao through martial arts. Between the two sects, more than twenty Alliance Leaders of the Murim had been produced throughout history.
My goal was to elevate Wudang's prestige, not to tear down another's sect. Kongtong's legacy was undeniably great enough to rival Wudang's.
......Though naturally, they fell just a hair short of our Wudang, which stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Shaolin as the orthodox wellspring of the martial arts.
Meanwhile, Eun Ae-hyang pondered a moment longer, gently closed her eyes, exhaled, and dispersed her internal energy. Seeing that, I dispelled mine as well.
Then, in perfect unison, we sheathed our swords.
Lest we arouse any suspicion, I deliberately raised my voice and declared, "I shall postpone our duel for next time! But mark my words! I will defeat you and exalt the glory of Wudang!"
Predictably, the first to react to my words was Jeok Seong.
The moment Eun Ae-hyang released her internal energy, Jeok Seong freed his head from beneath her foot, popping his face out of the soil with an audible plop to glare at me. Seeing his features plastered with dirt, sweat, snot, and tears, I nearly gagged.
I take back calling him lovely. He was far too damn ugly to love, whether as a martial artist or a fellow human being.
Jeok Seong shouted, "You villain! Where do you think you're going?! Did you think you could provoke the future of the Kongtong Sect and flee so easily?!"
"What? Flee?"
"Backing down first is fleeing! What else would it b—ack!"
At that moment, Jeok Seong's eyes rolled white into his head, and he pitched forward onto the ground. Eun Ae-hyang had struck the back of his neck, knocking him cold.
After checking that Jeok Seong was out like a light, Eun Ae-hyang let out a sigh and spoke.
"Then I will be the one to propose the next contest."
"Oh? Got something in mind already? Say the word. I'll beat you at whatever it is."
"I'll send a carrier pigeon sometime this evening. The location will be written there, so come tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? That's sooner than our usual schedule."
"My, my. For someone claiming to be a supreme master, do you not even have the freedom to arrange your own schedule?"
"Damn, you sure have a sharp tongue. Fine. Tomorrow it is."
With our agreement sealed, I turned around. Before departing, I cast one last glance over my shoulder.
Eun Ae-hyang was waving her hand slightly, her expression entirely deadpan.
I gave a nod, kicked off the ground with all my strength, and vanished from the clearing.
Since we parted earlier than usual, I could afford to take my time heading back to Mount Wudang. I decided to pick up some dumplings on the way.
And that choice turned out to be an exceptionally wise one. Just like the morning before, Yeong Yeong was waiting for me right by the gates, and thrusting the dumplings into her hands allowed me to dodge her interrogation.
Tomorrow.
I can't wait.