The Hourglass
What does it feel like to fall for someone?
Yoon Hana had only ever imagined it vaguely. She had never once felt the sensation in any concrete way. She had also been deeply skeptical about whether she even needed to know. Did she really have to like someone? Was it wrong if she didn’t like anyone? Her mindset had been that she would rather go to one more concert than waste time on some pointless guy out of idle curiosity. In reality, the friends around her who were dating didn’t seem particularly happy. The only things they ever talked about were huge fights, how their boyfriends had let them down, or how the guy had gone drinking with another girl and then gone completely silent—which was apparently a hundred percent proof of something. From Hana’s perspective, the one who always gave advice and listened patiently, dating seemed like a deeply flawed activity, the kind of noisy, empty show that rattled around like a cart with no wheels.
That was why she had looked down a little on people who flailed desperately over romance, treating them as somewhat foolish. But that was the story up until yesterday.
Hana, fresh out of the shower, stared into the mirror.
It was an uncharacteristically quiet mutter. In one hour, she would have to see Lee Suhyun’s face again. Yesterday and the day before, she had fallen asleep thinking only of his face, and it looked like the dark circles under her eyes had sunk even deeper.
No… I want to look pretty… Today of all days, I have to look pretty…
Even if it wasn’t for Suhyun, today was the day she would step onto the stage. It was the day she had to look the coolest and prettiest she possibly could.
Hana sat down calmly in front of her vanity and began applying her makeup. After finishing with sparkling, idol-like eye makeup, she completed the look with a deep pink lipstick.
“Whew.”
She wasn’t the only one going up on stage. An instrument was practically an extension of the performer. Hana took out a cloth and meticulously wiped every speck of dust from her guitar until the deep cherry-red body gleamed like it was brand new.
Next came the outfit. She put on the clothes she had bought while shopping with the other members beforehand. The outfit was quite revealing, so she had considered changing at the venue, but with her guitar and effects pedal bag to carry, she didn’t want to add any more luggage. So she left the house in her stage clothes—a leather skirt paired with a white crop top—and gathered her things. Guitar gig bag on her back, pedalboard bag in her hand, Hana gave herself one last check in the mirror.
Honestly, if she imagined the kind of preparation Suhyun was doing at home right now, her own efforts were more than sufficient. The weather was clear. It was a perfect day for an outdoor performance. In just a few hours, she would be standing on stage again. This was the moment the semester’s hard work would bear fruit, the time to prove why the band existed. Her heart swelled with emotion.
And standing on that stage with Suhyun was something that made her heart flutter. It was an embarrassing way to put it, but she finally understood what it meant to feel excited. Today was great, but she already found herself wishing tomorrow would come quickly. After the hectic performance and after-party, she wanted to slowly walk around the festival with him, just the two of them. Maybe she would ask him to buy her some snacks. Lost in these thoughts, she headed toward the school gate and before she knew it, she had arrived on campus.
“...I’m screwed.”
Meanwhile, Suhyun sat on the club room sofa, clutching his hair like a despairing artist. He was nervous. Now that the performance was actually today, he was incredibly, unbearably nervous. The small auditorium they had rented for practice and rehearsal had been manageable. But the thought of performing on that vast outdoor stage… and with that huge crowd watching him… made his stomach churn so violently he thought he might actually throw up.
“...You okay?”
Park Juyeon leaned down, peering at his deathly pale face.
“...Juyeon. What if I mess up?”
“Then we’re doomed.”
“What if I seriously ruin everything?”
From Juyeon’s perspective, Suhyun’s worries were both understandable and completely useless.
“Suhyun.”
“Yeah…?”
“That’s just how performances are.”
Whether you were popular or a loner, whether you had the right personality for it or not, standing on stage as a group came with a certain level of responsibility. Even if Juyeon was a good singer, she could still forget lyrics. No matter how much of a natural performer Choi Kang was, if he got too excited and sped up the tempo, that would ruin the show too. Everyone already knew they had practiced enough. Even if mistakes happened during the actual performance, the chance that the other members would blame him was close to zero.
“...I’m scared too.”
Not knowing how to offer cool words of encouragement, Juyeon simply stood beside him in solidarity.
“There are so many people, and having to sing in front of all of them feels insanely stressful.”
“And… you play guitar, so you don’t even have to do any talking…”
In most band performances, the vocalist handled the MCing and between-song comments.
“I practice my comments too, you know…”
In truth, Juyeon found talking between songs more difficult than singing itself. The broadcasting practice she did was partly to prepare for moments like this.
“But… I still did it. Right, Suhyun?”
Juyeon placed her hand over his to stop him from tearing at his hair.
“Someone as timid as me—maybe even more timid than you—managed to do it.”
—Creak.
Someone opened the door.
“You can do it too, Suhyun.”
“...What are you two doing?”
A third party barged into the conversation before the door even closed. At the sound of Hana’s voice, Suhyun naturally lifted his head and looked in her direction.
“Why are you two holding hands?”
“Suhyun was… tearing at his hair…”
Juyeon quickly hid both hands behind her back like a child caught sneaking candy.
“Lee Suhyun. Were you pulling your hair out?”
“Hana. What if I ruin the performance?”
Suhyun repeated the same question. Hana glanced at Juyeon, then took Suhyun’s hand.
“You can’t ruin it, Lee Suhyun.”
“...Huh?”
“There are two guitars. So it won’t get ruined.”
Hana smiled with absolute confidence. The only two people on stage playing the same instrument were the two guitarists.
“Even if you make a mistake, I’ll just cover for you.”
“Did you know? I can play all your parts too.”
Songs that featured two guitars inevitably required splitting the parts. Deciding who played what involved personal preference, of course, but skill and balance were equally important. That was why Hana had practiced and analyzed every song before assigning parts to Suhyun, carefully deciding how much to give him.
“So trust me and even if you mess up, it’s fine. Just enjoy it, Lee Suhyun.”
After all, a band wasn’t something you did for other people’s sake. It was something you did so the people playing could enjoy themselves. Especially since this was Suhyun’s first performance, Hana’s wish was that he would have fun.
“Hana…”
An indescribable sense of reassurance filled Suhyun’s chest. Clearly, “I’m nervous too” was no match for “I’ll carry you” when it came to providing relief.
“Haaaaat!”
The door burst open. Choi Kang had arrived. True to everyone’s expectations, he was wearing a sleeveless tank top.
“Oh. At least you didn’t go with the skull one?”
Hana let out a knowing chuckle as she greeted him.
“No! I actually got caught by Seoeun noona while I was on my way and had to change!”
Seoeun had predicted that Kang would try to wear something that didn’t match the concept and had ordered him to send her a photo in advance. Sure enough, he had tried to show up in a skull-print tank top, so the two of them had compromised on a plain black one.
“Everyone! Are we all here?”
Lee Seoeun, the last to arrive, led the members outside.
“Oppa! Photo! Hurry, hurry!”
Han Jaejun, summoned by Seoeun, was forcibly appointed as the official photographer for the 23rd generation.
“One. Two. Three. Taking the shot.”
What was the point of being called a legendary former president if he was going to be this thoroughly dominated by his girlfriend? Jaejun’s authority was being completely dismantled.
“Done?”
“Yep! Now a vertical one!”
Man, she really has a lot of requests.
“Oppa, you can’t come during the day, right?”
Seoeun checked the photos on her phone while also confirming her boyfriend’s schedule.
“Yeah. I should be able to make it for the regular performance tonight.”
“Are you coming with the upperclassmen?”
“With the kids from my cohort.”
“Got it. You know I’m always grateful, right, oppa?”
Seoeun glanced around quickly before giving Jaejun a short kiss on the cheek. Jaejun’s face immediately brightened with satisfaction, as if his earlier complaints had never existed.
It wasn’t intentional, but Hana, who happened to witness the scene, felt a strange emotion stir inside her. Her thumb brushed absently against her lips.
Will there ever come a day when I can naturally do something like that with Suhyun?
Right now, she couldn’t quite picture it. Would it become normal once they were officially a couple…? The seed of damp insecurity planted deep in her heart began to sprout ever so slightly.
“Everyone! Let’s pack up and get ready to head to the stage!”
Hana deliberately waited for Seoeun, who was returning after seeing Jaejun off.
“...Unnie.”
“Yeah?”
Hana’s unusually hesitant attitude actually made Seoeun nervous. Had some emergency come up? But the question that came out of Hana’s mouth was completely unexpected.
“Unnie… how many days after you started dating did you have your first kiss?”
Why was she suddenly curious about this? At this point, after more than a year of dating, what reason could there be for her to suddenly wonder about it? Seoeun’s gaze drifted toward Suhyun and Juyeon, who were walking away. Aaah… So that’s what this is about. She really shouldn’t tease her cute juniors about this… but she couldn’t resist messing with them.
“We did it before we started dating?”
“Ugh. Lame, unnie. Don’t lie.”
“Why do you think I’m lying?”
Well… because something like that… was obviously supposed to happen after you started dating… Hana’s eyebrows drew into a straight line.
“Hana. What’s with you~? Don’t tell me you dress like that but you’re actually super conservative?”
Seoeun wrapped her arm around Hana’s waist, which was fully exposed by her crop top.
“Hana.”
“Y-yeah…?”
“Time is precious, you know.”
Hana tilted her head in confusion.
“There’s a reason people say you shouldn’t date guys who haven’t finished their military service, right?”
Hana’s eyes widened in shock. Inside the invisible hourglass, the sand was still pouring down.