Worries
It had been roughly an hour since they finished lunch and started practice. Jiho, who had been watching the second-years rehearse, suddenly dashed toward Seoeun on stage.
“Noona!”
“Ah! The call’s here!”
As soon as the bass cut out, the rest of the band stopped playing too. They had the volume cranked up so loud during practice that there was no way they would have heard a phone ring. But today was the special event where the seniors were graciously putting in the labor for their juniors. Seoeun had given her direct junior—the bassist Jiho—strict orders to come running the moment any contact from the OB seniors came in.
With the session halted because of Seoeun’s call, Suhyun took the chance to stretch. Choi Kang had pointed out that he was just standing there too stiffly, so Suhyun had been trying to loosen up his body while practicing guitar. Even in the middle of all the thumping and bumping, he couldn’t let the quality of his playing slip, so his eyes naturally stayed glued to the fretboard. But after watching him stare at it nonstop, Seoeun had advised him to try communicating with the audience sometimes too. He had no idea whose rhythm he was supposed to follow. For a guitarist with zero stage experience, there was a mountain of things to worry about. Performance-wise, he still had a long, long way to go.
Seoeun hung up with a bright smile.
“Hey everyone! The OB seniors are here! First-years, let’s gooo!”
She led the freshmen chicks out of the auditorium like a kindergarten teacher taking her class on a field trip. After all, seniors always preferred the fresh, bright-eyed first-years. It was a lot like how grandmothers always doted on their grandchildren more than their own children.
Juyeon climbed down from the stage and plopped into one of the audience seats.
Aaah… I really don’t like the seniors…
Both juniors and seniors were burdens to Juyeon. She much preferred practicing only with people from her own generation. Especially when Seoeun wasn’t around—that was when things felt the most overwhelming. Seoeun was basically her parent and her rock-solid shield all in one. Even if they were sitting at a huge eight-person table, as long as Seoeun was there, Juyeon wasn’t scared. But without her, even just two seniors sitting across from her was enough to make her shrink into herself.
Choi Kang stayed seated on his drum throne and pulled out his phone. It was the only chair on stage that wasn’t allowed for the other instrumentalists or the vocalist. To him, it was like home—a fortress that gave him psychological stability.
Suhyun also took off his guitar strap, thinking he’d rest for a bit, but Hana remained standing, quietly plucking at her strings.
“Hana. Wouldn’t it be better if you took a break too?”
“…No.”
She had seemed in a good mood just a little while ago, but now the atmosphere around her had completely changed.
“…Is something wrong?”
“No.”
She said no, but her expression told a different story. The song her hands kept repeating was Dawn is Blue, the 23rd generation’s original track.
“But… isn’t that song pretty easy?”
It felt a little rude to say it outright, but among all the songs they’d prepared for the performance, Dawn is Blue was on the easier side difficulty-wise. The only truly challenging part was the solo Suhyun had written himself—and that was his responsibility anyway. Hana’s part mostly consisted of simple backing chords and a few arpeggios. In other words, there wasn’t much reason for her to be stuck on it.
“…The seniors are coming.”
There was a one-year gap between Suhyun and the rest of the 23rd generation members. The difference in how much they knew about the underclassmen was almost nonexistent, but when it came to the seniors, the story was completely different. The only senior Suhyun had actually talked to was Jaejun, Seoeun’s boyfriend. Because she knew that, Hana couldn’t bring herself to share her worries with him.
“Ah… are you worried the seniors might scold us if we mess up?”
“No. They wouldn’t do that. The performance is only two days away. Why would people who aren’t even the main generation bother yelling at us?”
“Then what’s the problem?”
If the seniors were just going to give them nice compliments, Suhyun couldn’t think of anything in particular that would be an issue.
“…Never mind.”
She almost said it, but the words that had climbed up her throat went right back down. It was something he wouldn’t understand anyway. Hana knew it better than anyone: among all the members, she was the one who took music the most seriously. Deciding to make an original song had all started from her own greed. The others had all praised her and said she was amazing, but Hana was terrified of being evaluated. Especially in front of people who had far more musical talent and knowledge than she did.
The 21st generation’s Jaejun-oppa, who was called a legend in Spirit, or the 18th generation’s Byeongcheol senior. There was even a senior from the 16th generation whose actual job was being a drummer.
“I’m gonna step out for a bit.”
With her chest feeling tight, Hana set her guitar on the stand and walked down the stairs. Suhyun followed her down, but he headed toward the seat next to Juyeon.
“Once I graduate… I’m never coming back…”
Juyeon was muttering some mysterious incantation like a shaman, even though Suhyun had no idea who she was talking to.
“What are you doing?”
“…I was making post-retirement plans.”
“You’re already thinking about retirement?”
“No. Retiring from Spirit.”
When you thought about it, there was only about half a year left until the 23rd generation became OBs.
“You even plan that stuff in advance?”
“Yeah. I’ve decided I’m never coming back. Ever.”
“Nobody calls doing absolutely nothing a ‘plan,’ Juyeon.”
“I-I’m doing this for the juniors who would feel burdened if someone like me showed up…!”
Juyeon had appointed herself as the Dark Knight without anyone asking her to.
About ten minutes later, the door to the small auditorium swung wide open.
“Hey~ Kang~”
At the booming voice that sounded like a battle cry, Choi Kang shot both arms straight into the air.
“Welcome, hyung-nim!”
Among the OBs, Choi Kang was a superstar. Even if he hadn’t had such a bold personality, the fact that he was a bald drummer alone would have left an unforgettable impression.
“Juyeon! Suhyun!”
When Seoeun called their names, the two of them timidly stepped in front of the group of seniors.
“Ah. Hello.”
“Hello.”
The only familiar face was Jaejun. Suhyun’s endurance test had officially begun.
“Oh~ So this is the new kid!”
“Yes! That’s right!”
“What’s your name?”
“I-I’m Lee Suhyun.”
“Got it! I’m Jang Eunho from the 17th generation. I played guitar too! Hahaha!”
Not knowing how to respond, Suhyun just laughed along.
“Wait, where’s Hana?”
Hana was also quite famous among the seniors—not so much for her skill as for her stunning looks. Last year when she joined as a freshman, there had even been rumors that Spirit had finally produced its own idol.
Seoeun looked around, unable to spot her either.
“Suhyun. Where did Hana go?”
“Oh. Yeah. She said she was going somewhere a little while ago.”
“Really? I guess I should give her a call.”
The phone rang, but Hana didn’t pick up.
“Hmm… Since the seniors are already here, it’d be good to run through everything right away…”
“Just have the first-years go first. Yoon Hana will probably show up soon.”
Jaejun, arms crossed, offered a slightly lazy suggestion.
“Yeah, that sounds better. First-years! Can you all get ready for the session?”
The first-years headed to the stage. The second-years split into two teams: the hospitality team and the search team. The ones in charge of looking after the seniors were Seoeun and Choi Kang. It was also Seoeun’s way of being considerate toward the two loners who felt uncomfortable around upperclassmen.
“If you find her, come straight back. Got it?”
They had come out into the hallway, but the quest to find Hana felt pretty hopeless.
“…Want to look together?” Suhyun asked Juyeon.
“No. It’ll be faster if we split up. I’ll check from the sixth floor down to the third. You take the basement up to the second.”
“What if she’s not there?”
“She should be somewhere around there by the time we’ve looked… Hmm… Just call her if you find her.”
“Okay.”
Suhyun took the elevator down and found Hana in a somewhat unexpected place. She was sitting on a sofa placed rather randomly beside the dance studio, biting her nails. She seemed so lost in thought that she didn’t even notice him until he was standing right in front of her. From her phone, Dawn is Blue was playing at a very low volume.
“Hana.”
Suhyun called her name.
“…Huh? What? How did you get here?”
“The seniors are here, so I came to find you.”
“Whoa. They came way earlier than I expected.”
“It’s been over thirty minutes since you left your spot.”
“Ah. Sorry. Let’s go.”
The moment she stood up from the sofa—
“Hey.”
“Yeah?”
The whole time he had been looking for her, Suhyun had been thinking about why her mood had dropped so suddenly. The reason she couldn’t let go of such an easy original song.
“I really think your song is good.”
Suhyun’s face filled Hana’s wide eyes.
“No, um… this might be none of my business, but…”
A friend. A friend is someone who stays by your side when you’re struggling. Someone who tries to help you solve your problems. So this was simply something Suhyun felt he had to do.
“I bet the seniors will all listen to it and really like it too.”
“So… you don’t have to be so scared…”
It had no real basis. It sounded like something he was just saying because he noticed she was down. If he was going to encourage her, he could have at least put more effort into it.
“Who said I was scared?”
But strangely enough, Hana’s worries melted away like snow. What arrived in their place was a warm spring. For some reason, she felt like right now, she could let Suhyun’s almost-flirty words slide without pretending not to notice.