The Unspoken Secret
Friday didn't hold any special meaning for Suhyun. Other people made a fuss about the weekend finally arriving, a time when they didn't have to go to school or work. But since he had no particular plans and wasn't the type to drink himself into oblivion, it was just another day that passed by. At least, until he joined Spirit.
"Ugh...! I don't wanna go...!" Suhyun sat in front of his computer, clutching at his bangs as if trying to rip them out. [Behavioral Economics Case Study] The search skills of clueless college students were all pretty much the same. After half-heartedly picking a presentation topic, Suhyun copied a few links into his memo app. With three other group members besides himself, maybe one of them would bring something decent? It was a lazy thought, but that was how most college students were. Back when he'd listened to those college senior mentors who visited his high school, he'd thought that becoming an adult would change things somehow. Yet even now, Suhyun harbored deep doubts about whether he'd grown into a much more impressive person than he'd been at nineteen.
He didn't want to see Kim Nayong's face. And being there with Park Juyeon made it even more awkward. For a moment, the urge to skip class entirely and drop the course nearly overwhelmed him, but he managed to force himself up and pack his bag. Leaving his gloom behind, he arrived at the lecture hall. Since the professor had instructed them to sit with their groups, Suhyun glanced around, searching for his teammates. Juho... didn't seem to be here. Nayong wasn't in sight either. Juyeon... The standard approach was to scan the areas where people clustered most, but his target was someone like him. Which meant...
Suhyun's gaze landed on the farthest corner seat in the back. Sure enough, there was Juyeon, curled up even smaller than her already petite frame. Finding someone in this harsh world who resembled you was a strange sort of comfort. Suhyun slowly made his way over and pulled out the chair beside her. The legs scraped against the floor with a low drurrrk. Juyeon slowly lifted her head and looked up at him.
"...Ah."
Juyeon let out a small sound upon seeing him. Their eyes met in the air.
"Hey."
Suhyun offered an awkward greeting.
"...Hey."
Back when they'd first introduced themselves, she'd immediately buried her face in her desk. Now, though, Juyeon accepted his greeting in a calm, soft voice. They must have grown a little closer. Just a little.
Of course, the conversation didn't continue after that.
Do I have to be the one to talk first again...? But saying something twice in a row would seem annoying, right...? I'd hate it if someone did that to me...
Suhyun worried.
Aaah... I wanted to eat the cream puffs... If I take them out now, I'll have to share, won't I? We are in the same club, after all. But if the other group members show up, I'd probably have to give them some too... Then I'd only get to eat two out of the five I bought... I don't want that...
Juyeon agonized over whether to muster the courage to eat the cream puffs or not. Her brief deliberation came to an end. She rummaged inside her eco bag and pulled out a paper bag filled with pastries. With her dainty fingers, she minimized the rustling as much as possible, quickly took out one cream puff, and held it out toward Suhyun.
"Huh?"
The fluffy cream puff suddenly appeared in front of Suhyun, who had been wondering when things would stop feeling awkward between them and Juyeon. When he turned his head, Juyeon lowered her gaze slightly and spoke.
"H-Here. Eat it quickly."
Suhyun's pupils trembled. What was this? What did this mean? Was this also part of the process of being accepted as a member of the band club? After hearing so many strange things from Choi Kang, this level of challenge didn't even surprise him anymore.
"...Do you not like it?"
When the pastry in her hand didn't move, Juyeon slightly raised her head to check Suhyun's expression. His face looked more serious than she'd expected, and she felt her heart shrink. It was obvious. Suhyun didn't like cream puffs. And she'd gone and given him one anyway! But taking back something you'd offered an asocial person was also an enormous ordeal. As Juyeon frantically tried to come up with a scenario where she could turn her hand around and stuff the cream puff into her own mouth instead, her head started spinning. Ugh... I should've just eaten it after class. Why did I take it out... Park Juyeon, you idiot. I knew I shouldn't have been brave... It was at that moment, while she was lost in thought, that—
"...Thanks."
Suhyun's fingers brushed against the back of Juyeon's hand as he took the pastry and brought it to his mouth. Resolve filled his eyes. He swallowed the cream puff almost without chewing, as if he were in some kind of speed-eating contest. Though he'd done his best to eat it quickly to fulfill Juyeon's request, for some reason her face didn't look happy at all.
He really doesn't like it—he just ate it to be nice!
Juyeon couldn't shake off her guilty feelings for the rest of the lecture.
* * *
Contrary to Suhyun's worries, the lecture went more smoothly than expected. Nayong didn't try to create another difficult situation like last time, and the materials Juho—the group leader—had brought received good feedback from the professor, so they decided to proceed with those. Just when it seemed they might escape the classroom unscathed, the saying about never letting your guard down until the very end proved true.
"Suhyun."
Nayong called out to him as he was zipping up his bag after class.
"Yeah...?"
"We were supposed to meet up later today."
"We?"
"Oh, don't be like that~ It's the Purple Storm kids."
Suhyun felt a chill run down his spine at her overly familiar tone. Since when had they been on such friendly terms that they held gatherings like this?
"Right."
"Let's have dinner together."
He didn't want to go. And he had plenty of reasons not to.
"I have a club meeting tonight."
A polite refusal. Nayong's gaze naturally shifted toward Juyeon, the fellow club member he'd mentioned.
"Really? Juyeon?"
Juyeon, who had been pondering what to do with the remaining cream puffs, flinched at the sound of her name.
"Uh... yeah?"
"Do you have a club meeting today?"
There was no practice scheduled, but it was the day of their regular social gathering. Juyeon's eyes turned to Suhyun. He looked somewhat troubled. Slowly, she nodded.
"Yeah. At six."
"Ah... I see... Then I guess it can't be helped. Suhyun, I'll call you! Let's meet up separately sometime!"
With a bright smile, Nayong turned and left the room. Juyeon watched Suhyun from behind as he lightly bit his lip. Do they not get along? But why did Suhyun even leave Purple Storm in the first place? Juyeon had known about the existence of the band club's small gatherings, but she had no idea what they actually did. She was curious, but she wasn't particularly fond of asking others questions so readily. Besides, today she'd already forced him to eat cream puffs he didn't like. She reaffirmed her resolve not to overstep and stood up, pushing her chair in. The leftover cream puffs should go in the fridge...!
"Juyeon."
Suhyun quietly called her name.
"Hm...?"
Why are so many people calling my name today? This is exactly why I hate group projects. I just wanted to sit quietly through class and leave quietly!
"I was wondering something."
"Yeah."
"What do you guys... do at the social gatherings?"
He'd succeeded in fending off Nayong, but Suhyun was still worried about tonight's gathering. He'd heard it was just everyone hanging out together, but he didn't know exactly what that entailed. If necessary, he was even willing to watch videos in advance to prepare. He believed that if it was Juyeon, she could give him a perfectly tailored explanation.
"Um... The social gatherings are..."
It might not have been a difficult topic for the other members, but for Juyeon, it was quite painful. After all, the gatherings had been created entirely because of her. They'd been born from Seoeun's suggestion of "Let's hang out after practice today!" being met with zero participation—which essentially made the gatherings a "Prevent Park Juyeon from Being Isolated" club.
"So, basically..."
Even though it was just her speaking, Juyeon felt suicidal impulses rising. Her face began turning bright red. When she looked like she was about to burst into tears, Suhyun panicked.
Why... why is she about to cry!
"No, it's okay! You don't have to say anything!"
If asking a question would hurt someone, he was the type of person who could set his curiosity aside.
"Thank you..."
The remaining students leaving the lecture hall glanced at the two of them with looks that suggested they might be dating.