It'll Be Fine
It would be fine.
Unlike Jihu, who still needed to get ready to learn how to handle mana and also had to join the big family gathering for the New Year holidays, I had nothing particular scheduled until the Monday next week that we'd agreed on.
My family never bothered gathering for New Year's Day itself, and even on Lunar New Year we would just share a simple lunch before everyone headed home soon after.
Even before I awakened, early January had always left me with spare time, but after changing like this—unable to pick up part-time work or make plans with any acquaintances other than Jihu, who knew the situation—I had even more time left over.
"Daughter~."
—Clink.
Rolling around in bed every day with nothing to do was getting boring, and once I went over to Jihu's place tomorrow I probably wouldn't have any chance to help at the shop for a while.
So I decided to spend today helping out at Mom's restaurant for the first time in ages.
—Crash!
Ever since becoming an adult I had helped at the shop whenever I had free time, so I could cook most of the dishes by now. Until recently I had even been skilled enough to run the place in Mom's stead.
Or so I had thought.
—Smash!
"Son."
"Yeah…"
Maybe it was because two body parts that had never existed before had suddenly appeared with my awakening.
I kept catching my horns on things and bumping into everything, and the slightest movement sent my tail knocking objects over left and right. Even Mom's eyes, which had first told me it was fine, gradually turned sharper.
"Don't you need to pack or something?"
"Th-that… I've already packed everything, and there's still plenty of time…"
By the time I had already broken more than four plates, ripped open a sack of rice with my horns and spilled it across the floor, or knocked over sauce bottles—when the accidents I'd caused just today exceeded the fingers on both hands—
"Then. You're in the way. Get out of my kitchen. My kid."
In the end I was kicked out of the kitchen.
Kicked out of the kitchen, I ended up lying on the living room sofa, half-heartedly smacking the real culprit—my tail—with soft little slaps.
"This is your fault I got scolded."
As if answering my complaint, the tip of my tail swayed left and right with a soft swish every time I smacked it.
"It's my own body. Why can't I move it the way I want…"
I let out a small sigh and released the tail I had been holding. Just like me, it flopped limply onto the floor as if sighing itself.
In videos of other beastman awakeners you often saw people using their tails like a second arm or swinging them like heavy weapons.
My own tail was thick, its scales gleaming, and it only moved on its own according to my mood. Most of the time it was nothing more than a cumbersome burden.
Still, when I curled up and hugged it against my chest there was a strangely comforting feeling that actually felt pretty nice, so maybe it wasn't a total burden after all.
"I wish it would just stay still when I want it to, though."
I muttered to myself and frowned slightly at my tail.
I was already worried about it swishing around on its own when I eventually took the bus or subway, and every time it moved Jihu and his mother seemed to stare at it, which made me a little self-conscious.
And above all, when I wore long pants the tail kept catching on the fabric and it was annoying.
At home I just solved it by wearing short shorts, but it was the middle of winter—there was no way I could go outside like that.
"While I'm at Jihu's place, I should figure out the tail problem too."
It needed to move at least somewhat according to my will if I didn't want it interfering with daily life from now on.
Jihu had said it would gradually become more natural with time, but I wanted it under my control as soon as possible.
Thinking that, I carefully focused my mind on the tip of my tail, but the more I tried to be conscious of it the more awkward it felt.
"Ugh. Forget it. Forget it. My stomach just hurts for no reason."
Every time I tried to put strength into the tail, a strange ache bloomed in my gut.
For the past few days I had been feeling a dull, knotted sensation somewhere in my stomach. I frowned and stopped trying to move the tail.
I had thought it would get better soon, but the tight, bunched-up feeling seemed to be spreading.
Still, the pain itself wasn't that strong, so it was probably just muscle soreness from the new tail.
Right now, if I simply lay still and relaxed the tail, I barely felt any pain at all.
"It'll be fine."
If it got any worse I would go to the hospital, I decided, staring blankly at whatever random channel was playing on the television.
Time passed, and it was finally the Monday morning I was supposed to head over to Jihu's place.
I slung the duffel bag I had packed in advance over my shoulder and stepped out of my room, only to meet eyes with Mom waiting in the living room holding a small pouch.
"Even if you've known each other forever, don't get too comfortable over there."
"I know without you telling me."
"Looking at the way you act at home, I worry."
What was wrong with wearing a big T-shirt and shorts as pajamas? I used to dress like this all the time when I was a guy.
Because of the tail they were a bit shorter than usual, sure, but they were still a lot more modest than those basically-underwear things I'd seen on a shopping site last time—the ones labeled High-Elasticity String High-Waist Short Pants for Tailed Beastmen.
I should ask Jihu about those later.
"And I prepared this just in case."
"What's this?"
Mom held out the small pouch she had been holding.
The moment I took it I heard the soft rustle of packaging inside.
Travel-size shampoo and lotion or something?
"I figured you wouldn't even think about this kind of thing."
I unzipped the pouch to check the contents.
Inside were round things sealed in square wrappers, packed full in every size imaginable.
I might not have been familiar with them, but I recognized what they were at a single glance. With trembling hands I picked one up and held it out toward Mom.
"M-Mom. What is all this…?"
"Oh my. Good heavens, you don't know what these are?"
"Would I be asking if I didn't know?!"
At Mom's shameless reply I slammed the thing in my hand onto the floor and shouted.
My tail, as if voicing my feelings for me, thumped the living-room floor over and over in noisy agitation.
"Why are you packing these for me?!"
"You give someone condoms for contraception. What, did you think I was giving them to you as toys? I didn't know the size so I just filled it with every kind."
"Aaaaaah!!!"
I clutched my head and screamed.
Mom. Have you actually lost your mind?
"Why would I ever need something like this?! I'm just going over to Jihu's for a bit!"
"Daughter. Contraception is something a woman has to take care of more carefully."
"…"
"Men always say they'll take responsibility, but the responsibility always ends up on the woman."
"No. Why are you giving me these today of all days."
"…Daughter. Don't tell me you're seeing some other guy besides Jihu?"
"Ah, seriously!!! How am I supposed to even get into that kind of relationship with a guy?!"
It hadn't even been a month since I ended up looking like this. How was I supposed to start dating a guy and progress that far?
One year… no, even if ten years passed, becoming "that kind of relationship" with a man was absolutely impossible. No way.
I had lived as a man for over twenty years. How was a man supposed to look like a romantic interest to me?
"Mom was just joking. I don't think my son is going to adapt that fast anyway."
"…Really?"
After I had yelled a few times, Mom took my hand with a reasonably serious expression and continued.
"Of course. My son suddenly became a woman, and I just wanted you to have some awareness that you're a woman now. So Mom played a little mean joke."
"Mom…"
Right. My outward appearance was female now, after all.
It had been dizzying, but thanks to Mom's joke I had at least become aware of a part I hadn't even imagined yet.
Even if she didn't show it on the outside, she seemed to be worrying about me a lot…
"Why condoms of all things, though?"
"A woman can carry condoms around, can't she? Guys keep one in their wallet too, right?"
Listening only to Mom's words, it almost sounded reasonable.
"Then why fill an entire pouch with them?"
Why go out of her way to pack this enormous quantity and variety of contraceptives?
Even if she had just handed me one random one, it would have been enough of a warning.
"That part's because Mom doesn't know Jihu's size."
"Ack! Ack! Aaack!"
"And I don't know how many you'll need either. So for now, a lot…"
"I don't know! I'm leaving!"
I let out a scream of pure horror at Mom's words, hurriedly shoved my feet into my boots, and bolted out the front door.
"Mom actually wouldn't even mind if you got into trouble!"
The sound of the door closing behind me, and Mom's voice still teasing me to the very end, both seemed especially loud.
Ah, seriously… my head felt like it was going to split open. I leaned my forehead against the wall of the elevator I had scrambled into and pressed the button for the first floor.
What kind of joke was that? My whole face was burning.
I was fanning my flushed face with my hand in the middle of winter when—
"Dammit… I brought it with me."
Only then did I realize that in my panic I had run out still holding the pouch stuffed full of those horrifying things.
I briefly considered going back up to leave it at home, but—
Jihu had already arrived at the apartment entrance long before the whole pouch fiasco with Mom even started.
Making him wait any longer would be rude, so I had no choice but to shove the pouch deep into the bottom of my duffel bag and hurry toward the Jihu who had been waiting for quite a while.
Every step I took made me hyper-aware of the rustling sound that seemed to come from inside the bag.
As I approached Jihu's car waiting near the entrance, the driver's side window slid down.
"Hey. Sorry. You waited, right?"
"Yeah. What were you doing that made you this late?"
"Just talking with Mom a bit."
"Well, that happens. Hurry up and get in."
I naturally opened the passenger door, closed it again, then opened the rear door and carefully slid my body inside.
Maybe because I had gotten shorter, it was strangely amazing that I could walk around inside the car just by ducking my head a little.
"Hey, Min. Can you turn the heater down a bit?"
"Y-yeah. Why?"
"Your face is all red. The heater must be too strong."
"Y-yeah yeah. Turn it down. Turn it down. It's a little hot."
Watching Jihu adjust the heater temperature made me feel even more embarrassed, so I buried my face in the duffel bag—only to flinch hard at the rustling sound and jerk my head back up in a panic.
"What are you doing?"
"…Nothing."
I should have just thrown the damn thing away…