I Don't Want to Go Shopping
I don't want to go shopping.
Just yesterday, I had managed to accept my transformed appearance as a woman, at least a little, and resolved to try living in a way that suited my changed gender.
That was why I had asked Mom to help me buy underwear and other necessities, and why we had planned to head to the mall together after breakfast this morning.
I had comforted myself in my own way and firmly resolved to adapt to this new life.
“…I don't want to go.”
The scrap of fabric Mom tossed into my arms made that firm resolve waver.
What I held in my hands was neither a particularly feminine bra nor anything with a bold design. It was just a plain white camisole she had given me to wear underneath since I had nothing that fit—and yet the soft touch of the fabric made my face burn with inexplicable embarrassment.
I had felt the same thing when I put on the sanitary underwear on the first day. Strip away the “women's” label and it barely looked any different from men's briefs or a sleeveless undershirt. But the moment I actually tried to put it on myself, a strange sense of rejection welled up.
“Still… I have to wear it….”
I muttered under my breath as I picked up the camisole with trembling hands.
Right. I had to put it on and go out.
I still needed to submit the paperwork at the Association, and no matter how much I recoiled, I had to wear underwear.
I took a deep breath, squeezed my eyes shut, and pulled the camisole over my head.
“Ugh, this feels so weird….”
Whether it was the unfamiliar sensation of the smooth fabric against my skin or something else, my body instinctively shrank in on itself. The girl reflected in the mirror when I snuck a sideways glance still looked completely foreign.
Thin shoulder straps hung on my slender shoulders, and the camisole—long enough to cover my lower half like a short dress—had its back hem resting lightly over my tail.
The black sanitary panties I had put back on were uncomfortably rolled down at the rear because of the tail. Unlike the front, which was almost completely hidden by the camisole's hem, the back of the panties peeked out every time my tail swayed.
I was only looking at my own reflection in the mirror, yet it felt like I was peeping at something I shouldn't see.
Was it because of my cheeks and ears, flushed red with shame? Or because of the way my tail and toes kept twitching for no reason?
“Is this… really me? Haa….”
Whatever the reason, I couldn't spend the whole day staring into the mirror and feeling embarrassed. I tore my eyes away from the girl in the glass and pulled the tag off the new clothes I had just taken out of their packaging.
I hurriedly pulled on a plain white T-shirt with no brand logo, then shoved my legs into the freshly washed pants that had a hole and strap for my tail.
“Mom! I'm ready!”
I called toward the living room and hurried out the door.
“It took you that long just to put that on?”
“I needed to prepare myself in my own way….”
Mom was already waiting by the front door, hand on the doorknob, fully ready to leave.
“You said we were stopping by the Association too. Let's hurry. We're going to be late.”
“…Huh? Late? It's just the two of us. What are we late for?”
I tilted my head at the odd remark and followed her out of the house.
The moment Mom finished submitting the documents at the Association, she suddenly called a taxi, shoved me into the back seat, and headed straight for a massive department store on Olympic Boulevard.
I had thought something was off ever since she mentioned being late, but why was she in such a rush when we didn't even have an appointment?
“My little girl. What's got you pouting so hard?”
“Mom….”
Being shoved into a taxi like luggage and dragged all the way to a department store was already annoying, and that awkward “my little girl” nickname grated on my nerves too.
But more than that—
“Why are Jihoo and his mom waiting for us?!”
“Oh my, my new daughter. I'm so glad we can keep our promise this quickly.”
Why were those two standing in front of the department store waiting for us?!
“Hm? Didn't your mother tell you?”
“She didn't!”
Having Jihoo's mother constantly call me her new daughter or daughter-in-law was already stressful enough, but facing Jihoo himself right now was even more awkward.
“Hey.”
“Hyeek!”
Jihoo had somehow come right up beside me and spoken, startling a weird noise out of me.
“D-Don't just call out to me like that! You scared me.”
“Is that really something to get that startled over? You're embarrassing me.”
“A-Anyway!”
I deliberately avoided his eyes, unable to meet his gaze.
After the complete mess I had made of myself during yesterday's phone call, looking him in the face felt unbearably awkward.
“So. Did you actually submit that country-bumpkin name?”
“What's wrong with Miri? It's fine.”
“Park Miri is way too old-fashioned.”
“Are you ignoring the Park family name right now?”
I latched onto his words and argued just for the sake of it, but the truth was I also thought Park Miri sounded pretty old-fashioned.
Among the names I had considered while talking with Jihoo yesterday, there had been more stylish and prettier options than Park Miri. But I had deliberately chosen the old-fashioned one.
I still didn't feel ready to use a more refined, prettier, more feminine name—and I still felt more attached to the name Park Min.
I also didn't want to get attached to a fake identity's name.
“M-More importantly, why are you even here? You're a professor. Go do some work.”
“What work is there during finals season? And your mom called me to be the pack mule. My mom just decided to tag along when she saw me leaving.”
“Mom….”
I frowned in pure exhaustion and turned my head away.
Even if her son had turned into a fragile little daughter, you couldn't just drag your kid's friend along as a shopping porter.
We weren't just buying outerwear—we were here for underwear too. How was I supposed to shop for that with that guy right next to me?
“Haa….”
A sigh escaped me at the sheer hopelessness of it all.
Just imagining spending the entire day as a dress-up doll for two middle-aged women while Jihoo snickered on the sidelines was already giving me a headache.
“Dear, don't worry so much.”
As if responding to my sigh, Jihoo's mother gently patted my shoulder.
“If you want, I'll just buy you a whole wardrobe.”
“…Excuse me?”
I couldn't understand why a wardrobe had suddenly entered the conversation.
Did she mean she would buy so many clothes that I would need a new wardrobe?
If she was going to buy that many clothes, it would still feel too burdensome, so I planned to politely decline and just accept the thought.
“No, please don't. I only need a few outfits….”
“This mother-in-law will just buy a few suitable shops for you. Whenever you need clothes, come pick some out and take them.”
“Excuse me…?”
The proposal so thoroughly shattered the bounds of common sense that only a dazed sound escaped my lips.
What was she saying she would buy me right now?
“Ah. Would shops be a bit insufficient after all? Maybe I should just buy the small shopping mall near your house and renovate the whole thing.”
My mind went completely blank at the absurd suggestion.
This was the moment I once again felt deep in my bones that when you were dealing with a world-famous chaebol family, the scale of their spending was on an entirely different level.
“Ma'am. That would make me too uncomfortable, so I'll have to decline.”
“But my new daughter needs to try lots of different looks and get used to them…. And that much isn't really a burden at all…. Can't you just accept it if I buy it for you?”
“No, even so, that's far too….”
She was talking about turning a seven-story shopping mall into my personal closet. How was I supposed to just accept that?
Even imagining it made my stomach twist with the weight of it. It actually felt like a dull ache was forming in my gut.
In the end, I barely swallowed the sigh that tried to burst out and forced a single word past my lips.
“Mother.”
“Ah… dear?”
Right. Jihoo called my mom “Mother” too. Calling the parents of a friend I had known for twenty years “Mother” wasn't strange at all.
“Mother. I'm grateful for the thought, but it's still far too much.”
“Oh… is that so?”
“Let's just all go shopping together today. Mother. Okay?”
“Of course! If that's what my new daughter wants, then that's what we'll do!”
If I could dodge an overwhelming gift with just one change of address and a tiny bit of cuteness, it was a bargain.
Even if it meant I couldn't escape becoming a dress-up doll, it was still better than receiving a gift that would leave me uncomfortable every single day.
“Ugh…. You crazy bastard. You should've just taken it.”
I thought I heard Jihoo muttering in horror behind me, but I ignored him and followed the two mothers as they headed into the department store first.
And the moment I set foot inside the department store, my head filled with the regret that I should have just accepted the shopping mall after all.
“Min…. I mean, Miri. How about this color? It seems like it would match your hair.”
“My child. Could you measure her size first? Her body changed a lot when she awakened.”
If I had known we would be dragged into a high-end lingerie store right from the start, I never would have suggested shopping together.
“Then, ma'am, I'll escort you inside for a moment.”
Completely at a loss, I was politely guided by the staff and practically shoved into a fitting room deeper inside.
“Hiih….”
“There's no need to be so tense, ma'am. So, what size have you been wearing until now?”
“Ah…. Well….”
I couldn't exactly say “just panties,” and I didn't have enough knowledge to make something up either.
With an awkward expression, I lowered my gaze and barely managed to open my mouth.
“65C….”
“Ah…. I see.”
I had just said whatever came to mind, yet the staff member's eyes instantly filled with pitying sympathy.
Why…?
“Th-Then I'll remeasure your size for now. Please don't be too disappointed. Shall we start by removing your top?”
Feeling bewildered by the incomprehensible sympathy, I nodded at her words.
I awkwardly turned around, took off my top, and carefully hung it on the hanger.
Left in only the thin camisole, I was about to turn back around when—
“Ma'am…. You'll need to take everything off.”
“…Neheh?”
“There's no need to feel so embarrassed. Size isn't everything…. Ahem. What I mean is, we're both women.”
I'm not a woman, though.
I tried to say it, but her firm gaze crushed the words. My lips only twitched before I squeezed my eyes shut and, with trembling hands, finally managed to pull off the loose camisole as well.
“You have a really lovely shape, ma'am. You can be confident!”
No. That confidence is currently being destroyed in real time.
“Then I'll take the measurements, so please try not to tense up, ma'am.”
I tried hard not to focus on the staff member's hands.
Every time the cold measuring tape touched my skin, I barely managed to suppress the way my body trembled on its own.
“Yes. Your bust and waist measurements are done, ma'am.”
Thinking it was finally over, I reached for the camisole I had taken off—
“Now I'll measure your hips, so could you take off your pants as well?”
The bolt-from-the-blue request made me drop the camisole I had just picked up.
“C-Can't I leave them on?”
“You have a tail, ma'am, so for accurate measurements we have no choice.”
“B-But…. But!”
In the end, overwhelmed by the staff member's firm attitude, I had no choice but to lower my pants with trembling hands.
With both eyes squeezed tightly shut, I had no idea how much time passed.
“Yes. Your measurements are complete, ma'am.”
“I-It's really over now, right?”
This time I truly intended to put my clothes back on and escape this hellish fitting room.
“Now I'll bring the lingerie your companions selected so you can try them on.”
“Y-You said it was over….”
“Well…. Beastman underwear has a different way of being worn, you see. It's extremely difficult to get the size right without trying them on directly.”
“Hwaaang….”
At last, my shame reached its limit. I covered my face with both hands and sank to the floor.
“M-Ma'am! Just hang in there a little longer. You have to look good for the boyfriend who came with you!”
“Who said he's my boyfriend?! He's not!”
“Ah…. Then perhaps an older brother…?”
“…”
I already don't want to shop anymore. I want to go home.
I want to throw everything away, curl up under my blanket, and just hug my tail….