Chapter 40
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 40
Chapter Title: Leaving Lingering Attachments is More Cruel
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『Sera's Perspective』
Sera felt a profound sense of wrongness the moment she regained consciousness.
She couldn't pinpoint exactly what was off, but it was nothing like her usual mornings.
First, she opened her eyes. Her vision was filled with green.
'...Green?'
Her bed sheets were definitely white. So where had this green come from?
She reached out and groped forward.
A firm texture. Ridges like a washboard, hard and solid.
"Kerur..."
A familiar whimper reached her ears.
'...Gob?'
Only then did Sera grasp the situation.
She was lying on her bed in her room, embraced by Gob.
Gob was smaller, so it wasn't a full embrace—just his head resting against her chest.
Sera sat up sleepily in bed.
"Ker... Ker..."
Gob slept on with steady breaths. She stared at him blankly.
She tried to recall what had happened.
'I remember talking and then collapsing...'
Everything after that was fuzzy.
From the circumstances, it seemed Gob had carried her collapsed form to the bed.
'But why are we lying in the same bed?'
There were no traces of anything intimate having happened.
And there was no reason for them to have just slept together platonically.
Sera stared intently at Gob's face.
He slumbered peacefully, utterly oblivious to the world's dangers.
'We used to sleep together all the time before.'
Sera recalled the days they spent together in the cabin.
Sleeping with Gob had strangely kept her nightmares at bay, and once she realized that, they'd always shared a bed.
She'd hug him tight, like he was her security blanket.
'Come to think of it, I didn't have any nightmares last night either.'
Her mind felt refreshingly clear, like a bright blue sky.
Sera gazed at Gob for a moment longer, then reached out toward his face.
She gently stroked his cheek. Rough, weathered skin that spoke of hardship.
"Kerur..."
Gob let out a whimper and cracked his eyes open.
His slit pupils shifted toward her.
Sera pulled her hand back.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."
"Keruk..."
Gob waved it off as he propped himself up.
He was sitting now, but he still looked half-asleep.
'Lying here like this, we almost seem like a married couple.'
The situation and the atmosphere both felt just like that.
Natural and comfortable, as always.
"I'll make us some tea."
Sera slipped out of bed to prepare it.
There was no stove, but she conjured a flame with her magic.
By the time the tea was warm, Gob had shaken off his drowsiness.
Slurp. Sera lifted her cup and downed the tea in one go.
The Rentrio brew slid down her throat, warming her from within.
"Did anything else happen yesterday?"
Sera finally voiced the question that had been nagging at her.
[You suddenly collapsed, so I put you in bed.]
"I figured as much. Thank you."
She expressed her gratitude first.
"But why were we in the same bed?"
She asked the question that had truly been burning in her mind.
[After moving you to the bed, I tried to leave, but you suddenly hugged me tight.]
"...Me?"
The circumstances pointed to her having done the hugging, but she had no memory of it.
[Yes. You held on and wouldn't let go.]
"I see. I'm sorry."
She had her doubts about whether it was true, but Gob didn't seem like the type to lie.
...A brief silence followed.
The scratching of a pen broke it.
[So, are we going back to how things were before?]
The words on the note Gob held out.
Sera racked her brain to understand what he meant.
He was probably asking if they could return to being as close as they were in the cabin days.
'Can we really go back to that time?'
She thought about it briefly, but the conclusion came quickly.
"No. We can't go back to how things were."
It was an obvious truth that needed no further reflection.
If she fell under Lucy's Oblivion spell again, her memories would rewind to before she joined the hero's party.
Before she became a saintess. Back to her days as an ordinary nun.
She'd had no strong sense of purpose then. Just surviving day by day was enough.
No hatred for monsters, no longing for what she'd lost.
A deficient but happy time. Not a speck of dust in her heart.
That innocence was surely why she could grow close to Gob.
But not anymore.
She wasn't pure or clean like that now.
So they couldn't go back.
"To be honest, it feels like someone else's memories have lodged in my head."
The cabin days felt like they belonged to another person.
She remembered the actions and thoughts from back then, of course.
But they felt distant, like observing someone else's life—emotions faded.
Recalling joyful moments brought no joy.
Sad memories stirred no sadness.
"It's confusing whether that was really me, and forcing myself to remember gives me headaches."
It couldn't be helped; the Sera before and after losing her memories was worlds apart.
By her current standards, forming a human bond with a monster was utterly impossible.
Even now, with those memories intact, she remained skeptical about human-monster relationships.
Especially as long as Gob wore a goblin's form, they couldn't share intimacy like before.
How could she love a monster when she hated them more than anyone?
No matter that Gob's essence was human, they couldn't return to that.
"So, it'd be easier if we pretend we just met today."
"Kerur..."
Gob hung his head low, letting out a faint whimper. Was that an involuntary sigh?
The more Sera spoke, the darker Gob's expression grew.
Seeing him on the verge of slamming his head on the table made her chest tighten too.
'Are the memories with me that precious to him?'
Gob seemed to long for the Sera from the cabin days.
Not that anyone called them lovers, but back when they naturally did things lovers would.
In truth, Gob's feelings for her were obvious to anyone. Sera wasn't blind; she'd noticed long ago.
"Keruk... Ker..."
Gob kept sniffling.
He raised an arm to wipe his eyes.
"...Are you crying?"
Sera asked tentatively, but Gob really was crying.
Snot and tears streaming down pathetically.
"Don't cry. What am I supposed to do...?"
She pulled a handkerchief from her bosom and wiped his messy face.
"It's not like our connection is over. We'll keep seeing each other, right?"
Words of comfort poured from her lips.
Given the situation, she was just trying to put out the immediate fire.
"I just need some time to adjust."
She'd meant to be firmer, but her resolve weakened, leading to vague words.
At that moment, Gob lifted his bowed head.
His tear-streaked eyes met hers briefly, then he scribbled on the notepad.
[I'll wait.]
Sera didn't catch what he meant to wait for at first.
[The tea was good. I'm heading out.]
Gob bolted from his seat, flung open the door, and was gone.
Only then did it hit Sera. She should have steeled herself and spoken clearly.
Waiting was pointless. There was no going back.
She could chase after him and stop him even now if she wanted.
But she couldn't bring herself to do it.
Her inability to refuse a plea hadn't changed.
『Gob's Perspective』
Gob left Sera's room and headed straight to his own.
He made a beeline for the bathroom mirror.
'Wow, I look hideous.'
Already goblin-ugly, now with tears and snot smeared everywhere—a total mess.
Splash splash! He scrubbed his face roughly.
'I showed her my ugly side. You shouldn't cry in front of a girl.'
Someone had told him that once, though he couldn't recall who.
He'd tried his best to hold back, but there came a breaking point.
-So, it'd be easier if we pretend we just met today.
The moment Sera said that, tears flooded out uncontrollably.
She was the first person in this world to smile at me.
The first to reach out her hand, to hug me, to care for me.
The one who cried for me when I was hurt.
If such a person suddenly declares we're strangers who just met today?
'Who wouldn't break down crying...?'
If he'd even suspected she'd say that, maybe he could have braced himself, but yesterday's mood had been great.
She'd apologized, they'd shared the secret of being fellow monsters, and they'd even slept in the same bed.
'I was really shocked when she suddenly turned into a succubus.'
Horns, wings, and tail sprouting from her naked body—it was insanely sexy.
He'd thought it was a cosplay event prepared for him and nearly freaked out.
If he hadn't taken the libido suppressant, he'd have gotten hard and triggered a quest window right then.
Sera seemed bothered by being a monster, but he'd actually liked it.
Beautiful in any form, and sharing the monster plight made them feel even closer.
'She said she just needs more time to adjust, so I'll wait a little longer.'
He had nowhere else to go anyway, plenty of time to wait.
Now that the misunderstanding was cleared, it probably wouldn't take long.
'Just a bit more patience, and we can go back to those days.'