Albert Bucks
Rebecca was a devout person.
She prayed to the gods several times a day.
When she woke up, before meals, before bed.
Whenever she had free time, she clasped her hands and closed her eyes, reciting her prayers.
But that did not mean she was blindly pious.
Rebecca was the kind of person who would seek help from the gods while knowing she could find her own way through it.
When battle broke out, she prayed for protection to the front lines, and if the situation turned dire, she would personally grip a spear and turn the tide herself.
Already, I must have owed my life to her more times than I could count.
“Cooluck… Ugh… A, lbert.”
But the thought still crossed my mind.
Priests were a rear support class, rooted in healing and support.
“R, run… F, fight!”
Even if the overall boost in physical ability from holy power was there, weren’t they still just well-trained ordinary people?
“Ugh… C, urk… I don’t… want to die… A…”
So I asked.
A priest, yet you wield a spear, and how is your body holding up?
To that, Rebecca answered.
“Ku… H…”
It’s fine.
She only said that.
And, stupidly, I believed it.
***
Rebecca encouraged the people every day, dreaming of hope.
Smiling and speaking brightly to everyone as if they truly belonged in the same world, the survivors found hope in her.
After one round of greetings.
If it’s a cardinal, I wonder what kind of person he is even if I don’t know the details?
What is there to say? An incredibly high-ranking official.
Such a person came all the way here to save us…
There’s no way the church would abandon someone like that, right? As long as we somehow stay attached to this group, we’re fine.
And Rebecca carried that mixture of hope and greed.
Either way, it was exactly as her intention.
But this method often brought side effects.
“You.”
“Yes.”
“What’s so great about making such a cheerful smile?”
“…Yes?”
“I buried my son yesterday. The day before, I buried my wife. Everyone else has done the same. No one in the family is left alive! Either dead or dragged to the front lines! So what the hell is it that makes you smile so brightly all the time?!”
“Wait, you seem way too worked up. I’m…”
“Shut it! Cardinal, right? I said cardinal? You high-ranking types never understand. You don’t even care! You’re all fat-bellied nobles back in the capital, pounding your stomachs! What kind of suffering are we experiencing, what state of mind we’re in! We’re… C, urk!”
Those were the types I usually dealt with.
“Hey.”
“Fuck, look what you’ve brought, the brat too!”
“Are we easy targets?”
“What?”
“Yeah. Exactly. Cardinal Rebecca is a high-ranking official, and you, what kind of life you’ve led and what mindset you have here. You don’t even know or care about those things.”
But that was it.
“Why do you say it’s our fault? Did we kill the demons? Did we deliberately exclude civilians from the relief list? No. You cardinals came out yourselves to save us.”
“If you’d come just a little faster, you could have saved my son too. Don’t say such pathetic things. You useless person shouldn’t even be allowed near our group. It’s the cardinal’s mercy that you’re still here.”
“I’ll just go back to the capital after saving the cardinal. So don’t get in my way.”
I said that and looked around.
The dozens of pairs of eyes staring at me lowered their gazes in a hurry.
It was irritating.
These were the ones who had kept their mouths shut and just watched until I spoke up.
No gratitude to the ones who had saved their lives, and no desire to get involved either.
“And you. Do you remember what that man said earlier? Fat-bellied nobles pounding their stomachs in the capital… even with the cardinal right here, do you still have those thoughts?”
I sighed at the sudden surge of emotion and calmed myself down before speaking.
“The First Prince is commanding the front with a sword in hand. The First Princess has organized a special unit with the personnel from the Magic Tower. The Second Prince is learning statecraft. At fifteen years old. The highest-ranking officials you were screaming about don’t know your situations, of course.”
I was already carrying far too much.
The noblest of us were fighting the most fiercely.
“So stop whining and follow us. Unlike you lot, the only burden you carry is your own life, isn’t it?”
I didn’t remove the hand resting on my sword and issued a threat.
Most of them had already lowered their eyes.
Of course. If we left them because they were annoying, they’d die anyway.
Even if some of us twisted and fought our way through, casualties would still happen.
Just one less gaze would mean death.
“Huff.”
I let out an annoyed sigh and turned back to Rebecca.
“You’ve worked hard.”
“So, don’t say anything unnecessary. It just brings pointless noise.”
“But don’t you remember? What happened back then?”
Back then meant the one survivor who stole the internal supplies and ran off.
It was the two of us who had been standing guard together. We never touched the survivors, so I thought it was safe to assume they were easy prey, and we stole the food and fled.
I was already a light sleeper, so I woke up quickly and chased them, only to find both dead at a distance of two minutes.
It wasn’t something worth calling fortunate, but we had killed the monster and recovered the supplies.
“The watch is enough for me to handle alone. You don’t need to do something like that for me.”
“Hmm, but I have to see Albert offering himself for my sake?”
“…Ugh. Stop changing the subject.”
I forgot to scowl at her sudden words and turned my blushing face away.
“Well, it’s half serious. Having an example makes it easier to lead, and it seems better to have a close relationship with me, right?”
It sounded like an evil plan, but.
“If I lead well and more people listen to me… I can save them. Yeah. I will.”
She moved with thorough judgment meant for others.
Why she obsessed so much over other people’s lives was obvious.
I hadn’t said it?
In the past year, only I and Rebecca had survived in this group.
I thought I had made the best choice in an unreasonable situation, but Rebecca’s thoughts were different. If she had done a little better, worried a little more, she might have saved them all.
It was probably just an irrational, empty thought.
I shared a moment of silence with Rebecca and headed to distribute the rations.
One hard lump of millet bread and dried, shriveled meat jerky.
Some regions had their own cultivation, but in the capital and nearby areas, that was all we could eat.
Ah, I secretly handed half a piece of jerky to the man who had screamed at Rebecca earlier.
He had followed the pre-arranged plan well.
From his own words, he was an orphan with no spouse, yet the acting skills were so convincing I had almost suspected someone other than the one I had agreed to.
It might be useful to use it often when surviving.
So, as long as we survive.
***
A year had passed again.
At fifteen, I had reached the 4th Realm and refined my skills to my own style.
The ones who had trained me were probably just at the 2nd Realm at best. Copying their movements wasn’t a good choice.
Rebecca was still stuck at the 3rd Realm.
That was how holy power was. A power granted by the gods. No matter how much the technique improved, if the gods had no leeway, it couldn’t be solved.
The strange thing was the spear.
The spear was a man who acted out his resentment in front of the survivors, took a bit more food, and left.
Unlike his name, he wielded a spear he had picked up. He had talent, and he had paid his dues at the 2nd Realm.
…That was it.
In one year, he had died again.
To the monster. To the looters. To bad luck. To an empty stomach.
People had died for all sorts of reasons.
“…”
“Rebecca.”
“…Yes.”
Rebecca maintained a bright atmosphere among the survivors, but when it was just the two of us, her face grew gloomy.
That sight was heartbreaking, yet somehow I felt a strange superiority in the fact that she showed it to me alone, making me feel disgusted with myself.
“Albert.”
“Yes.”
“Is this meaningful?”
Well…
I couldn’t say.
This way, we might just last another day and die.
It was better than doing nothing, so maybe it was fine.
I couldn’t judge it.
But.
Even so, if I added one more word.
“Rebecca. Honestly, if you hadn’t been there, I would have died.”
“At that medical shelter? There were many others there besides me. Not some fake like me, but real people who could raise Albert. Real people with the talent to reach the 4th Realm at fifteen. …Perhaps they would have been Luke’s companions who brought Albert. I wonder.”
Hmm.
Actually, Rebecca often did this.
Of course she would.
She had gathered them for two years, only for them to die anyway.
But today’s was especially harsh.
So, instead of the usual platitudes, I decided to approach her with sincerity.
“Maybe. Certainly, there would have been skilled people besides the fake cardinal Rebecca. Maybe they could have grown stronger faster. But Rebecca.”
“If we assume she made a different choice there, no matter what choice she made, I would be stronger now, and… happier, I suppose.”
“…Why?”
This ruined medical shelter was a place where many people had passed through.
Surely there had been skilled swordsmen, wise mages, and devout priests.
The swordsman would have made me stronger and more lethal.
The mage wiser.
The priest would have taught me a heart that understood the gods.
But.
“I can still say this clearly. Right now, I am the strongest.”
That was all.
I would grow stronger, but that was it.
Back then, I had no purpose.
Even if it was visible, revenge was all I wanted, and revenge had to be worth it.
The opponent threatening the empire’s lives.
At best, a few scraps would be left.
I hadn’t even wanted to live back then.
But now?
I definitely had the will to live.
I swung the sword with clear purpose, stood at the front to protect something, and never hesitated to become evil for someone.
Probably, no matter what choice I had made then, that was the feeling I could never have.
And the one who gave me that feeling was not anyone else…
“…Huff. Anyway. That’s what I mean.”
“…Frh. Okay. Sorry, digging another tunnel. Thank you for the comfort?”
“Then shall we start?”
“Yes, we should.”
Rebecca finally smiled weakly and habitually stroked my hair.
Her height was gradually catching up to mine, but she didn’t care.
I followed her lead and reflected on it.
Clearly, I was stronger than anyone who had made a different choice.
If I hadn’t followed Rebecca, I would have died long ago.
The reason I’ve survived so far is only because of Rebecca, you.
So. The me who is alive is stronger than the me who died.
***
It took quite some time for us to reach Mueller’s Marquisate.
Mueller’s Marquisate was one of the cities closest to the capital and the only safe road leading to it.
At the checkpoint of Mueller’s Marquisate.
“Then, everyone. I have something to say.”
“Cardinal?”
“Yes. Speak.”
Rebecca opened her mouth heavily.
“We will part ways here.”
“…What?”
“What are you…”
“As you know, Mueller’s Marquisate is the entrance to the capital. Even with our help, you could survive this far. But outside, it’s different. You’re dying from empty stomachs, clutching your bleeding necks.”
“That’s…”
“…”
The moment Rebecca said she was leaving, the people looked uneasy.
Of course they would. If the group led by a cardinal was among the survivors, they wouldn’t be treated lightly.
But they didn’t speak. No, they couldn’t.
If they had been born as people, they wouldn’t have to suffer the trouble of seeing others leave just to make their own lives easier.
“So. We are going to save them again, just as you were saved.”
“Cardinal…”
“Why do you have to do this?”
A doubtful voice returned to Rebecca’s declaration.
To that question, Rebecca answered with a gentle, benevolent, yet rather pompous face that only I could see.
“Impossible…”
“Cardinal should rest too, shouldn’t you? At the very least, supplement your stamina in the capital…”
“It’s fine. The road to go is long.”
Even with her perfectly reasonable answer, Rebecca’s expression never wavered.
Of course. We couldn’t enter the capital.
There was no way to leave a nun pretending to be a cardinal.
And so, Rebecca and I turned our steps.
In case the church personnel who had overheard us came after us.
We left in a hurry.
Rebecca spoke up again.
“Albert.”
“Yes.”
“Keep saying it, but you can go into the capital.”
This was the first time I had reached Mueller’s Marquisate.
Because of that, whether these survivors could enter the capital was unknown.
Whether they would let me in too was equally uncertain. It might have been worth trying. No, not trying would have been the stupid choice.
But.
“Then what about Rebecca?”
“She’ll just wander around and die somewhere.”
“In times like this, it’s nice to have someone by your side.”
If I went to the capital, Rebecca would die.
Even without going to the capital, if the cardinal pretense was exposed, she would die.
I wouldn’t just watch that happen.
“And if we go in, we’ll just be sent back to the front anyway.”
“That’s true.”
“There won’t be a place for Rebecca there.”
“That’s true.”
“In that case, I’d rather run around with Rebecca. It’s better to be with the gorgeous Rebecca than some stiff man.”
“…H, huh. I really know how to handle men, don’t I?”
“It doesn’t suit you when your face turns red saying that.”
“…”
Whether she was embarrassed or flustered.
Rebecca cleared her throat several times but her face still didn’t return to normal, so she pulled the hood of her priestly robe deep over her head.
I thought it was hidden, but the way she kept fidgeting like that was strangely cute.
I was embarrassed.
