1. The Lame-ass Tale of a Tiny Demonic Sword
Suddenly dropped into another world one day. Honestly, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited at first. Rugged female warrior, haughty female mage, aloof female thief—adventuring with them! Friendship and love blooming amid trials and tribulations! But reality? Jack shit.
Hygiene was abysmal, monsters crawled out of every crack, and human lives were worth less than flies. Lucky for me, though, I had my cheat key: the Status Window.
I adapted to this world, climbed all the way to Gold-rank adventurer, and thought I was on a roll. Then I realized the world was crawling with real monsters. Heroes, archmages, Elder Liches, Dragon Lords... No matter how strong I got, I was just a snack in front of the true beasts.
After that, I lived like a regular adventurer. Flirted with the cute receptionist sis, caused a ruckus at the tavern, conquered a dungeon or two. But who knew a goblin den was a backdoor to a dragon's lair?
[Intruders... eliminated.]
We were thrilled at the hidden treasure when the nest's guardian greeted us. A Solium golem, made from metal rarer than mithril, adamantine, or orichalcum. Halves physical damage, immune to magic, absorbs holy power. And just like that, our party's adventure ended there.
Me? As the frontline tank, I got smashed into pulp by the golem's fist first. I thought that was the end of my life... but nope.
[Ho? A soul dwelling in such sacred metal?]
I have no clue what happened, but when I came to, I was in an Elder Lich's lab. Not resurrected, mind you—just my soul stuck in the golem's fist, made of Solium.
The Elder Lich found it fascinating and started experimenting on me.
[Hey! That hurts! It fucking hurts!]
[And it can even send thoughts with such a clear ego! How intriguing.]
[You bastard!]
Unfairly enough, I couldn't move my body anymore, but I could still feel every sensation. The Elder Lich gleefully chewed, tore, tasted, and toyed with me for research. But even the decayed sorceress, who endured eons, couldn't make progress.
[...Sorry. Looks like I can't extract your soul from that metal.]
[Eh, whatever. Wasn't expecting much anyway.]
By then, we were the only ones around to talk to, so the Elder Lich and I had gotten pretty chummy.
[As atonement, I'll forge you into the ultimate sword!]
[No, don't! I said no! Gaaah!]
Using soul-infused Solium as the base, she hammered me with cursed elixirs, her own Elder Lich bones, dragon hearts, shards of an evil god's relic—every impure material imaginable. Into the worst demonic sword worthy of her infamy.
[Heh, hehehe. See? I was right all alo—...]
[Hey, wait. I still can't move!]
And in the process of forging me, the Elder Lich ground herself into the mix, tossed me aside, and fell into hibernation. I was left alone, pathetically.
Dozens more years passed like that. After endless waiting and loneliness, a fearless adventurer party finally found me.
[Just die. No, kill me...]
"Jay! Check this out!"
"That ominous aura, that insane bloodlust. No doubt about it—this is a demonic sword!"
"Looks expensive. Grab it anyway."
And so, I successfully debuted into the world as a sword.
The first few centuries were great. Sure, I missed walking on my own two feet like back when I was human, but sword adventures had their own charm. The thrill of hearing a heart stop up close, the joy of watching faces twist in agony as I sucked out souls.
Sometimes I'd devour too many souls and end up in a battle royale inside myself, but it was still idyllic days of fulfilling slaughter. Devouring countless enemies', rivals', and even owners' souls made me stronger by the day. My fame spread naturally across the world.
The whisperer from the abyss's deepest pit. A blade more vicious than a demon that takes all but gives one. Demonic Sword Carbalt.
My legend grew, and in every era, there were idiots willing to sacrifice everything for power. I became a symbol of despair and woe, countless lives falling to my edge.
Ha, that was my golden age. The problem? My infamy got way too high. Especially since I was a demonic sword forged from Solium—called "God's flesh"—the epitome of blasphemy just by existing.
Once my true nature leaked, the church sent inquisitors. I repelled the first couple easily, of course. But when they came in dozens, with saints joining in...
I seduced holy knights hunting me, fought the church across many owners' hands for ages. But even I met my end.
"What a dangerously cursed thing. Seal it in the Vatican Secret Vault's first chamber."
"Understood!"
Once rumors spread that I was church bait, no one wanted to claim me. I ended up rotting in a musty warehouse corner.
[Ho? Newbie?]
[Who the hell are you?]
[Me? The bloodstorm of battlefields! The fearsome demonic sword Bloodsucker...]
[Yeah, don't care, relic.]
The vault had other ego items besides me. Mostly nasty ones like me, sealed after rampaging through mind-controlled owners. But exceptions exist everywhere.
[Sigh. Vulgar trash always drags down my class.]
[Why you picking a fight?]
[Of course a brute like you couldn't grasp my noble purpose.]
Holy Sword Aries, slumbering in wait for a hero. Unlike us sealed threats, she was enshrined for her value—a divine relic.
Our shabby magic-circle prisons in the corner? No comparison. She stood proud in the vault's center, atop a tall altar: a blade of pure white, its beauty magnetically drawing the eye. Infuriating, but mesmerizing.
[Staring like that? Even I'd feel the pressure if I were prettier.]
[Fuck off.]
If only for that dogshit personality.
Anyway, I was half-resigned. The vault's defenses, guarded by saints from every order, were impenetrable. A demonic sword like me would rot here forever.
Or so I thought—until one day, the vault door opened silently.
[What the—?]
Stepping inside was a girl who looked about sixteen. Platinum blonde hair cascading in soft waves. Eyes like stars twinkling in a black cosmos. The kind of surreal beauty that would've had human me dropping to one knee with a proposal.
What's the point? I'm a sword now. Plus, that ultra-holy aura? No way she's my owner.
I sighed and shelved my hopes. I could guess who she was. Probably the hero here for the holy sword. New Demon King must've shown up.
[Come, new hero! Draw me and receive the holy sword's blessing!]
Aries bellowed triumphantly at the hero's arrival. I was a bit jealous. Good for her—escaping this stuffy prison.
Watching the hero blankly, something felt off. Why's she heading for me instead of the holy sword?
[Hero?]
"Found you."
Ignoring the holy sword's call coolly, the hero approached my display rack. She reached out carefully...
No. Wait. Hold up.
[Gaaaaah!]
The hero is chosen by all gods. Her body brims with holiness. And I'm a demonic sword of impure power.
The moment she drew me, the clash of demonic energy and divine power wracked me with agony.
[Let go! Let fucking go, you bitch!]
Her hand gripping me burned from the backlash too. But she stayed expressionless, unfazed by pain.
"You. Be mine."
[Gaaah! Hurts! It fucking hurts!]
[Get a grip, hero! That's an evil demonic sword! You—Carbalt! What have you done to the hero?!]
[I wanna know too! I'm sealed— what the hell could I do?!]
Sparks flew from the collision; I rebelled harder. Darkness tendrils lashed from my blade, whispers of ruin invading her mind. Useless. Her overwhelming Blessing of All Gods blocked every attack, every temptation.
She just gripped tighter, doubling my pain. Aries looked shocked, like her lover got NTR'd right in front of her. (Swords don't have faces? Whatever, vibe.)
I was shocked too. Sure, I wanted a new owner for adventures—but not the hero. Can't even draw or swing me properly—what kind of owner is that?!
Suppressing the backlash to swing me? Might as well attack with that power. Hell, from the start—
I bellowed my injustice.
[Why ignore the perfectly fine holy sword and fuck with me?!]