2.75, The Thirteenth Trial(?) - The Gods' Tale
As soon as I, Tyrrhenus, arrived at Mother Gaia's palace, I had to shout like some kind of herald. This was that important.
"Mom, honey!!!! Big news, great news!!!!"
"You startled me! Why are you yelling like that?"
"Oh my, Tyrrhenus, what kind of state is that? How can a sea god come dripping water into the palace? What on earth is that look?"
"No, honey, Mom. That's not the point right now. I just came from seeing Sis, and get this... those two have definitely got feelings for each other!!!!"
『What?????』
The two of them reacted in perfect sync, jumping in shock just as I'd expected. How could this be anything ordinary! But that wasn't all.
I spilled every last detail of my chat with Sis, chattering away like a total gossip. This was worth it—hell, a guy charging in saying he likes a woman who could beat him in a strength contest? That was no small thing. We couldn't just let it slide.
"Hold on, honey, hold on. So you're saying Heracles fell for her before we even cooked up any plans?"
"Seems like it... no, it's definite. If what I heard is true, it's absolutely definite, honey!"
"I can vouch for that. Our Adamantia doesn't know how to lie. You two know that too."
"N-No way. Then... wouldn't it be bad to go through with the plan now? It'd just shatter Heracles's illusions, right?"
"Good point. Maybe we should just leave it be?"
Thalassa and I felt the need for a cool-headed analysis of the situation, but then lightning struck from Mother.
Her eldest daughter must still be the prettiest in her eyes—even though Sis hasn't shown her face once.
"What nonsense are you spouting! We need to trigger the earthquake right now!"
"Mom, but Heracles already likes Sis. Revealing her face for no reason could cause a huge mess!"
"You insolent girl, you really won't listen to your mother? Do you two believe Adamantia is ugly too? Do you want me to tear you limb from limb?!"
"Mom, why are you yelling?!"
"......"
Mother's roar left the sea Protogenoi—me and Thalassa—with ringing ears, and the earth palace trembled. I had a gut feeling that if Uranus-brother woke up, things would get way messier, so I decided to calm Mom down first.
"Mom, I get you're mad, but if you wake Uranus-brother, it'll complicate everything. Let's talk quietly first."
"Quiet my foot! Do it now! Or else you two won't see me for a thousand years—got it?!"
"Mom, what kind of talk is that? Getting this furious over something like this? Am I your son or what?"
"Exactly!"
But Mother wouldn't budge an inch despite our protests. If anything, she ramped up the rage, throwing a full-on tantrum. It reminded me of back when she sent Typhon storming Olympus. No stopping her like this—what now?
I sent Thalassa a telepathic vent she couldn't overhear.
Thalassa hinted at dumping all the blame on me, scary as hell, but what could I do? Right now, keeping the eunuch... er, Uranus-brother upstairs asleep was priority one. Truth is, even he doesn't know Sis's real face. Mom says the adamant scythe was forged in Tartarus, so he's never seen it. If he came down for no reason, it'd be trouble—Mom would get even madder.
"Are we doing it or not?! This was your idea, Thalassa! Decide already!"
"F-Fine, we'll do it. Happy now? But if it backfires, it's all on you, Mom!"
"Of course it's on me! A man who likes our eldest has shown up after seven thousand years—naturally I'll take responsibility."
"......"
Whoa, Mom, aren't you loving Sis a bit too much? I felt a twinge of jealousy, but then I remembered she'd spent seven millennia single, just smithing away, and all I could do was sigh. If Nereus ended up like that, I'd go berserk too. I get it as a parent, but seeing the Earth Goddess acting up over her ancient daughter? Wild. How lonely must she have been?
As I clicked my tongue, Thalassa signaled Mom that the earthquake prep was ready.
"Mom, we're set. You shake in sync with me—just a little, very lightly."
"Got it, you brat!"
*Rumble rumble rumble—*
Mother and Thalassa shook ever so slightly in perfect timing, and I could see Sicily shaking in the distance. Definitely enough tremor to set off the fire alarm, like Thalassa said. Heracles must've glimpsed that veiled true face by now. Time to see if Mom's "lie" was true or our suspicions were right—it'd all come out in the open.
But oddly, someone who shouldn't be there caught my eye too.
"Honey, isn't that Eros?"
"Oh my, it is. What the hell is that kid doing there?"
"Why else? Our plan worked!"
"Wait, Mom—could be an obedience arrow."
"You wanna die?!"
Mom still hated our logical take—common sense: what beauty goddess hides her face for seven thousand years? We couldn't buy it, so we stared down the fidgety Eros to see what arrow he'd loose. And then...
"Golden arrow?"
"A golden arrow?!"
"What did I tell you? I said our eldest is pretty! I'm telling Adamantia everything!"
"Mom!"
Now she was practically dancing with glee, vowing in high spirits to tattle our "logical" scheme to Big Sis. Thalassa whined, but Mom ignored her. Clutching my last shred of hope, I watched closely to see if this spark of love was one-sided or mutual. What my far-sight revealed...
Two golden arrows.
"Ah, we're screwed."
"N-No, we... we made this match, right?"
We prayed Big Sis wouldn't erupt in mega-rage and turn Etna into a supervolcano. A Protogenoi praying to someone? Laughable. But her lava baptism? No thanks. Cleanup was no joke—we couldn't foist it on Nereus or Poseidon. Lava flowing into Thalassa and me would just enlarge Sicily, and it was our job as nature incarnate, Protogenoi and all.
"Finally retired, and now this mess..."
"Tell me about it... But maybe she won't blow up?"
"Thinking about it, weren't we the ones brainwashing everyone that Sis is ugly?"
"........."
Thalassa clammed up. Truth was... Sis had holed up in the forge for over six thousand years, meeting barely any gods. Just her pupil Hephaestus, the Cyclopes, Mom, and us two. Cyclopes and Hephaestus weren't ones to badmouth looks, so scratch them. Mom knew the real face, so scratch her. Who the hell spread this rumor for six millennia? Terrifying.
"But it's weird, right? I always said all my daughters are beautiful, so which god started that down below? Not Hephaestus, surely."
"Who knows. Maybe Uranus-brother?"
Wait, what?!
"What? Uranus did it?"
"Yeah. Who else? Must be payback for the adamant great scythe."
"True, that bastard Uranus would totally do it."
Ahh, Uranus-brother... thanks.
"Still odd, though. After his dick got sliced, he rarely leaves this palace."
"He's the sky Protogenoi. Can go anywhere in the heavens—why leave?"
"Fair point. He does have mobility powers."
"And the motive's clearest. Turned into a eunuch by Sis's scythe—how much must he hate her? Bet he twisted every rumor, true or not."
Ahh, Thalassa, I love you! Best wife ever!
"Totally plausible. That fucker—I'll rub salt in his wounds!"
"Sicily salt's nice and coarse. Perfect for it."
"Gotta be. ...Now off with you two."
『Yes, Mother! Take care!』
Best to bail fast in times like these. Linger too long, and she might sniff out our fib. She wouldn't buy Uranus-brother's defense anyway, but just in case. Sorry, Uranus-brother. Sacrifice for our happiness! You're involved too, kinda! Yeah, this is righteous.
『To Sis (Big Bro) and Heracles, the newly born pair—may the sea's blessings abound!!!』
We didn't forget to bless Sis and Heracles, hedging against Mom's suspicions. My brilliant brain at work. And honestly, I started looking forward to calling Heracles brother-in-law. Weird guy, sure, but he snagged the most potential-packed sis among us brothers.