31.5 Gigantomachia - Eros's Tribulations -
War was no fun for Eros. He couldn't play pranks, couldn't flaunt the power of his golden arrows or lead arrows. Lead arrows were fairly useful in battle, but watching those crude Gigases slaughter each other out of pure hatred wasn't entertaining in the slightest. It was just another battlefield, nothing more.
Eros had been assigned to guard the palace alongside his mother and Aphrodite. A fancy way of saying they'd been pulled from the front lines.
"Mom, this boring war should just end already, right?"
"You're telling me. I'm dying for a nap here."
"Exactly! Wars like this are zero fun."
"Eros, try to act mature for once. Olympus is in crisis right now."
"...Yes, ma'am."
"Still, it's worrying. We were ordered to defend the palace, but it's basically just me doing it."
That was true. Aphrodite was a powerful goddess—daughter(?) of Uranus—but combat wasn't her forte. Cronus's daughters were all out there fighting like hell, so you might envy their spot, but defending the palace was just as crucial. Maybe even more so. The issue was that safeguarding the sprawling Olympus palace boiled down to a handful of nameless heroes and Aphrodite.
"Pfft, with the battle raging that fiercely outside, who'd bother sneaking into the palace? Half the Gigases have already bolted."
"Thanks to Goddess Adamantia. To me, does that make her an aunt? Or a cousin?"
"Then she's my great-aunt? A goddess like that marrying Heracles—who saw that coming?"
"No kidding. What kind of god marries goddesses like her...?"
"You're thinking about Heracles too, Mom?"
"Of course. Greece's number-one stud, isn't he?"
"..."
Aphrodite had married Hephaestus and carried on a long affair with Ares, but she was always drawn to handsome, strong men or pretty boys. As the goddess of love, lust, and beauty, that was just who she was. No grounds for criticism—it was perfectly natural. Love was unpredictable, lust boiled up organically, and beauty was its own reward.
"And you just handed one of my treasures to Heracles out of nowhere. Thought I wouldn't notice?"
"Figured you knew."
"Yeah. That ring probably helped him snag three powerhouses like that."
"Even just three was a surprise."
"Tell me about it."
With that ring, he could've lured any number of goddesses. That was the eerie power of Aphrodite's treasure. Armed with something so potent, it'd be no shock if he went after even more, no matter how mighty his first wife was. That was the nature of men, as far as Aphrodite knew.
But Heracles showed no such inclination.
"I heard you laid a trial on Heracles?"
"Kinda, but I can't exactly tell him to rack up more wives. It's a little dull, but still kinda fun."
"Oh ho? Even you're scared of Gaia, huh?"
"Who wouldn't be?"
Eros's voice carried no conviction. He'd gone to the trouble of imposing a trial, only to end up shooting a golden arrow at Gaia, leading straight to her marriage with Heracles. That alone should've been plenty amusing. But an ending where he stopped at three wives and lived happily ever after? A total letdown. Still, provoking Gaia's wrath was out of the question. Eros was stuck in a frustrating limbo.
"Cr-crisis! The Gigases!"
『『『Kuhahahaha! The palace is empty!』』』
It happened right then. Just as Eros went limp with boredom, one of the palace doors exploded inward, hurling a nameless hero aside as a pack of Gigases stormed in.
The startled Eros reached for a lead arrow—but before he could loose it, a Gigases's burly arms clamped around him.
"Let go!"
"Hahaha, what a spitfire! You're Eros, eh?"
"And this one's Aphrodite. Heard she's one lewd goddess."
"Shut your mouth!"
"Ugh!"
One Gigases leered with a sleazy grin and groped for Aphrodite—only to get blasted away. As an earth mother goddess of Rhodes and one of the major deities, she could handle a couple of them no problem.
But the intruders numbered over ten. Too many for Aphrodite to fend off in close quarters alone. And the Gigases gripping Eros brimmed with overconfidence.
"Whoa there, ease up on the rough stuff—unless you wanna watch Eros's neck snap."
"Mom! Can't shake this bastard!"
"Aww, so cute. Think that'll make me let go? Behave, or I'll rip those wings off."
"No, Mom!"
"Eros!"
The situation was hopeless. Eros pinched the arm, bit it, flapped his wings furiously—nothing worked against the Gigases's thick, iron-hard forearm. Meanwhile, the remaining seven or so circled Aphrodite, grinning with foul intent.
No matter that she was the goddess of lust—this was a horrifying, perilous bind. There was zero arousal to be had from such brutish giants.
"Alright, strip. Show us that pale body of yours."
"Shut it! I'm no harlot!"
"Course not. But if you don't give us some fun, who knows what happens to Eros? Wanna see your boy's wings torn off?"
"You filthy scum. Think threats will make me yield?"
"Eh, with that monster sis around, we're not looking to claim you. Just a quick thrill and we're gone."
"..."
The Gigases were beyond reason, eyes rolled back in a frenzy of survival instinct, battle stress, and lust. Marriage? Not even on their minds. Just gratification and out. Aphrodite shuddered despite herself at their feral menace.
This was no mere dalliance—the proud major goddess trembled at the brink of becoming playthings for these seven abominations.
Right then.
"Sis is scary, but bro-in-law ain't?"
"Urk..."
"Shit, it's Heracles!"
"Ah, fuck that bro-in-law prick!"
"Watch your mouth."
"Uwaaaak!"
In a flash, the Gigases clutching Eros had its skull caved in, massive body tumbling to the floor. The seven dwindled to two in an instant, heads smashed and sprawled.
Heracles, warhammer in hand, had appeared from nowhere, aiming it at the rest.
The tables turned. The two survivors seized Aphrodite, looping an arm around her neck.
"Kyaa?!"
"One more step, and I snap Aphrodite's neck."
"Let go of Lady Aphrodite, or I call Adamantia."
"Wha—"
"Drop her now, and I'll mercifully just shatter your shoulders. Keep this standoff going, and Adamantia's getting the call right this second."
"..."
Cold sweat beaded on the Gigases' foreheads. They'd tried to intimidate—and gotten it thrown back at them. Tear off Eros's wings? They might not regrow. Snap Aphrodite's neck? She'd just pass out briefly. But their precious "equipment"? One and done. And sis showed no mercy. Caught trying to rape a goddess? Gruesome ends awaited.
"Choose: release the goddess and run now. Shoulders broken, but you're free—and I won't tell Adamantia."
"Hah! As if we'd trust that!"
"Gaia's rounding up all survivors on Sicily anyway. Miss your mom? Do what I say."
"..."
"Think it over. Sparing you two? Easy."
He wasn't bluffing. Heracles respected his three wives as husbands ought, and they reciprocated in kind.
In the end, the pair had no choice but shattered shoulders.
"Kuaaaak?!"
"One hit—quit the drama."
"No, Dad! It hurts!"
"Who the hell's your dad? Don't call me that, creep."
As if the harrowing ordeal had never happened, Heracles went about snapping their bones.
Aphrodite stared at him, dazed, appraising his handsome face and chiseled physique like a connoisseur. She'd admitted her interest—and now, this whirlwind savior had her full attention.
And watching it all, Eros thought:
Looks like something even more entertaining's brewing.
The goddess of love fawning over a man? That promised real amusement.