Chapter 14
Chapter 14
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 14
Chapter Title: Dad Can't Even Say Bad Words and Is Too Pure!
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The next day, news arrived of the Academy Dean and Discipline Officer Rilmi's mysterious deaths.
On top of that, the Northern Spire was abuzz with the announcement of Dad becoming the heir and having his count title restored.
Thanks to all that, I got to skip lessons and rest.
‘That’s a bit weird. They should’ve just wandered lost in the labyrinth right up until their deaths, not gone this quickly.’
I wondered if there’d been some issue with the illusion spell, but the demise of those crude villains didn’t exactly fill me with regret. I had no time to waste on them anyway.
This was a crisis point where everything could explode at any moment!
Axel had heard the news about Dad becoming the heir—who knew when he’d come charging in?
‘No way, am I seriously facing off against the final boss this soon? I don’t even have any weapons! Is this really it for extras like us—just a gruesome bad end?’
In the Northern Spire, it was just me and the muscular maids left, and I sank into the sofa with hollow eyes. The maids, thrilled that Dad had been named House Mirmod’s heir, started chattering nonstop.
“Lady Sien, congratulations! I hear the Duchess is gifting you a new mansion! You’ll have your own pretty room soon!”
“A-And that means we get to serve the little lady too!”
The maids kept going, their words bursting out like dialects on steroids.
Even as they spoke, their eyes gleamed so fiercely that I shrank back a little.
They were definitely on my side, so why did they feel so intimidating…?
‘At least these maid sisters plan to stick with me for life.’
My heart warmed, like being wrapped in a cozy blanket, all my jitters melting away.
I should reward them with some carrots to make them like me even more, right?
These were the fierce maids who’d beaten down the Dean’s lackeys without a second thought for the consequences. Having them in my corner was bound to pay off.
I flashed a sun-bright smile and patted their steel-hard arms.
“Hey, when I grow up, I’ll build a muscle training room in the mansion!”
At my masterstroke promise, the maids’ eyes went wide.
“G-Goodness!”
“It must be my birthday today…”
“Hey, no crying! Crying causes muscle loss!”
Watching them beam with joy, I let out a quiet sigh inside.
They had no idea how close our fates were skating to death!
‘The three heir candidates are all in danger, but Axel’s the one with the strongest lust for power. He’ll wrap up the war fast and rush back, no doubt.’
In the novel, the great villain Axel Mirmod appears as the heir to the villainous ducal house.
He purged every Mirmod family member who stood in his way during the bloody clan strife.
Now that Dad was the heir…
He’d be proudly at the top of Axel’s purge list.
‘I figured there’d eventually be a power struggle with Axel someday, but I didn’t expect it this soon.’
Axel.
A bloodthirsty murderer with a real… filthy sexual taste to boot. Total trash.
‘How do I beat that bastard?’
As I racked my brain for the original protagonists’ training methods and the locations of high-end artifacts from the novel, I bit my lip hard.
I, Sien Mirmod. Age five. Currently taking over the villainous ducal house one step at a time.
Fortunately, my gamble with the Academy Dean had paid off.
So now, it was time for a new gamble. No time to sit around moping.
I took off the pink wool hand puppet the maids had knitted for me with such care, then whispered tough-like, straight out of a noir film.
“I’m doubling down.”
The maids tilted their heads at my serious declaration.
“Pardon?”
I tilted my head sharply, fixing them with a cold, threatening glare like a block of ice.
“Bury that jerk.”
First things first, I needed to prepare a shovel to bury the guy who’d oppose me and torment my sweet Dad and me. Maybe even make him a nice little mound.
And to do that, my top priority was, of course!
I said it with the most menacing expression.
“Let’s go to Grandma.”
“Sure thing!”
“As expected from our baby lady—you must really like Grandma!”
…It wasn’t about liking Grandma; it was just part of the plan.
In other words, Operation Grandma Charm Offensive was a go.
‘I, Sien Mirmod, have a plan for everything.’
“Even with so little influence, the Duchess adores you.”
“Our baby lady really is so pure.”
Contrary to their thoughts, I wasn’t pure—I was a calculating kid.
There’s a big difference between someone who’s seized real power once and someone who hasn’t.
The family power players might ignore Duchess Lukella, but she had tons of potential and lessons I could learn from.
Well, luckily, most of the family’s kids and heirs overlooked that fact.
‘These clueless maids. But do I really look that pure?’
I studied the maids seriously.
Was I not threatening enough? I thought I’d look super scary, like a gazelle before a deer.
‘I need to puff up my chubby cheeks like a venomous pufferfish!’
I widened my eyes and blew air into my cheeks until they bulged. Finally facing my terrifying expression, the maids’ eyes grew huge.
“As expected of our baby lady—you’re so cute when you’re playful!”
Sigh…
I thought to myself.
Failed. Total fail.
I’ll look scary once I’m older!
Still, I wasn’t going to Grandma just to act cute. I planned to pump her for info on the Mirmod family’s heir situation, starting with Axel.
‘Know your enemy and know yourself, and you’ll win a hundred battles.’
House Mirmod was crawling with villains.
They loved slaughter, ripping people apart, and could flick away a kid like me with a finger. Total terrifying threats.
Especially Axel Mirmod!
I knew the basics about Axel from the novel since he was such a famous villain, but info straight from family mouths would be different. Plus, I had a serious request to make of Grandma.
While I clenched my tiny fist and pondered the future seriously, the maids started whispering among themselves.
“How is she so adorable?”
“She must be thinking about cake. Her eyes are sparkling!”
“Could be candy too!”
…Sigh.
“Not cake or candy?!”
“Oh dear, oh my! Sorry, baby lady!”
These maid sisters were all so peaceful without me? No one grasped how serious this was!
But…
Even so, I curved my eyes into crescents and gave them a big grin.
They were all precious people to me.
“Gimme cake!”
…Though, to be fair, I did want cake!
***
When Sien decided to visit the Duchess, Lukella was in the middle of tea with three close vassal house ladies.
A table engraved with the family crest, exquisite tea sets, and four noblewomen seated in a circle.
Today’s tea time topics were varied.
A messenger bird from Axel Mirmod on the war front—mostly boasting about wiping out the enemy.
Of course, the letter was arrogantly devoid of any respect for elders. It even mocked the now-powerless lady a bit.
Delphia the Grand Lady’s illusion summon spell was another topic. She’d declared she’d make a flashy entry into the heir race with it—oblivious that an heir was already set.
Even the incident of Great Thief Molly, a family pickpocket, illegally occupying a holy relic…
It covered matters that would be extremely taboo in normal high society tea chats.
“Oh, ma’am. Did the Academy Dean die suddenly?”
“I heard he mysteriously passed in his sleep.”
“Then we’ll need to pick a new one.”
But the Duchess remained utterly indifferent throughout their talk.
The three ladies exchanged glances, then spoke up in unison.
“Oh, we heard Mathias has been named heir.”
“Indeed.”
“…And the Council Chairman approved it too, right?”
“Yes.”
“Will His Majesty just… sit idly by?”
“What can be done? We wait.”
The Duchess sipped her tea expressionlessly. Her elegant demeanor showed no real interest, even in her son’s reinstatement.
The family ladies exchanged looks.
Having served as the Duchess’s closest aides for years—even sticking by her after her fall from grace in the family—they were as tight-lipped as they were quick on the uptake.
Surely, Lady Lukella had a topic she wanted to discuss…
Then, the youngest of the three piped up.
“Oh, I heard Mathias has a daughter. They say she’s awfully clever.”
The other ladies exchanged dismayed glances and sighs. Some shook their heads, lips pressed tight.
Everyone there knew the Grand Lady and Mathias the Archduke weren’t on great terms.
Plus, Mathias’s daughter, Sien Mirmod, was the child of that infamous ‘wicked woman’ known for her malice in the family.
Sure, she was just a kid, but the daughter of a wicked woman? Suspicious.
On top of that, that ‘wicked woman’ was tied to the District Devil Incident—the very reason Mathias had left the family.
The District Devil Incident.
It was when Yuella, Sien’s mother and Mathias’s lover, failed to summon a demon.
Unable to summon it, she was dragged to the temple and met a miserable end.
Mathias couldn’t stop her death, but afterward… he slaughtered everyone who’d denounced her to the temple. The world called it the Bloody Purge.
The Mirmods did commit endless atrocities, true. But Mathias Mirmod killed everyone involved in Yuella’s death in ways too gruesome to speak of.
No way would the Duchess enjoy such an unpleasant topic?
“…Mathias’s daughter, you say?”
Duchess Lukella set her teacup down on the table.
It hit with a thud that could’ve shattered it—thank goodness it didn’t.
Her breathing? It rasped loudly enough to fill the quiet tea room.
Everyone stared at her in shock, ready to beg if needed.
Just as the lady who’d brought it up bent to apologize—
Like a lamp wick catching flame, the Duchess lit up and spoke.
“Oh yes, the Archduke’s daughter—have you all seen that honey bun?”
“Y-Yes? Honey bun?”
“…M-Ma’am?”
Unlike the baffled ladies, Duchess Lukella added more.
“That honey bun of his is just so cu—no, so bold.”
Now it was honey bun…?
Lukella, who’d never shown such fond emotion for anyone, used this unexpected pet name, and the youngest lady choked.
“Hic, hic!”
But who cared about choking? The usually cool, emotionless Duchess was acting out of character.
How had Mathias’s daughter won over her own grandma?
“Why so surprised?”
At Lukella’s cool words, they finally snapped out of it.
But they still didn’t get it.
What reaction were they supposed to have?
The boldest lady spoke up.
“Y-Yes, quite. Lady Sien is truly re, remarkable…?”
“Ahem.”
The Duchess lifted the corner of her mouth and cleared her throat.
Seeing that, a white-haired elder and a middle-aged woman’s eyes gleamed—they read her intent and rushed to flatter.
“Exactly. The rumors are everywhere. I hear she’s doing splendidly in her lessons.”
Students are supposed to attend classes diligently.
“She has an unyielding spirit that never backs down. Even in the garden, she stood firm against the slander toward the Duchess, right?”
It was just kids bickering—and she’d won.
“And at only five, she speaks so, so impressively!”
Five-year-olds normally speak well.
Relatively, Sien was a bit delayed in appearance due to her reincarnation penalty. But the people there passionately overlooked that.
“Indeed.”
Nodding contentedly as she soaked in the flattery, the Duchess declared seriously.
“Listen well.”
“Yes?”
The three ladies’ gazes focused on her.
“That child seems to be a genius unlike any in Mirmod history.”
“A g-genius?”
If word of Sien’s scheme with the Dean had spread, they might’ve nodded along seriously.
But the scheming Dean had mysteriously died, Mathias buried the incident, and Sien kept quiet.
So at this point, calling Sien a genius was absurd.
Yet the Duchess nodded with a rare smile.
“Yes. Normal kids that age are just snot-nosed brats. But that honey bun? Surprisingly sharp.”
She stared at her teacup, lifting her mouth corner slightly.
“Not that I’m all that pleased about it.”
At that, the three ladies watching Duchess Lukella exchanged secretive glances.
Ones that said she clearly adored Sien.
Because every time she said ‘honey bun,’ her cheeks nearly split from grinning.