Quite the Turn-On
Slumped across the bedroom table from the Duke and Duchess, I tipped the bottle, gulped down the liquor streaming into my mouth, and let out a deep, boozy breath.
"Whew...! But honestly, I don't think this is my fault. Wouldn't you agree?"
I jutted my chin out shamelessly and puffed my chest.
"......"
"......"
Urtega remained as expressionless and impassive as ever, but Pitora sat with her head buried against her chest, her face flushed a furious scarlet.
"Look, I'm not criticizing a healthy marital life, but... you know the situation in the Duke's Castle right now, don't you? Seriously. Did you even know an assassin snuck into my room?"
"...Did they?"
"'Did they?' Did you seriously just say 'did they'? Father, what happened to that grand boast you made? You swore you'd never tolerate an assassination under your roof."
"......"
"Hmm...?"
Seeing him shut his mouth in silence struck an odd chord of dissonance within me.
How should I put it? It felt subtly different from his usual blank slate. A razor-sharp, inexplicable intuition screamed that he was lying through his teeth.
"...Father. Did you really not know?"
"I did not."
He spoke quietly, heavily, and with resolute certainty. I narrowed my eyes into a slit.
It felt suspiciously like he was trying to gloss over the truth using solemn, suffocating intimidation.
"Father. I've never reached the pinnacle of Demi-God myself, so I don't know the exact range of a Demi-God's senses... but I do know the theory, you see?"
"......"
"And going by that theory, the idea that a Demi-God's senses failed to catch an assassin infiltrating the castle makes zero sense. I mean, didn't you promise you'd never allow an attempt on my life precisely because you were confident you'd notice?"
"......"
"Don't tell me... you noticed the assassin sneaking in and deliberately played dumb? Because making a little brother or sister with Mother took priority? Come on, that's not it, right?"
"......"
Slowly, Urtega's eyes shifted away from mine.
That subtle evasion was practically an admission of guilt. A low groan escaped my lips.
This bastard had genuinely been so absorbed in screwing his wife that he couldn't care less whether an assassin slipped into his son's quarters.
"Wow. Unbelievable. Is this real life? Seriously, Father..."
"...I had faith that someone who drove a Demon King to the brink of death would not fall to mere assassins. You have a capable guard at your side... and in truth, you dispatched the threat and walked here on your own two feet, did you not? Furthermore, I sensed no thirst for blood from them from the very start. Therefore..."
"Are you making excuses right now? The great Urtega?"
"......"
"I'm seeing quite a few human sides to you today, Father."
"A-Alzen. What on earth are you talking about? Hm?"
Having cooled down just enough to look utterly bewildered, Pitora peered at me in confusion. I flicked a glance her way, took a long, hard drag from my cigarette, and exhaled a thick cloud of smoke.
"Pheeew... Man, I'm losing my mind. Father, don't you feel like you've been losing your dignity and edge lately? It feels like you're slowly devolving into comic relief..."
"Alzen? I don't know what you're getting at, but stop. Your father must have had his reasons..."
"No, Mother. I'm not criticizing Father right now. I'm purely expressing my heartfelt admiration."
With that, I raked my gaze over Pitora from head to toe.
Unlike her usual attire, she was dressed in an extraordinarily thin nightgown, leaving the contours of her body and fair skin practically on display.
"H-huh...? Wh-why are you looking at me like that?"
The sight of her instinctively covering herself was like watching a voluptuous flower in full, intoxicating bloom.
Skin smooth and flawless without a single blemish; warm, gentle crimson eyes framed by long, dense eyelashes; plump, scarlet lips... and above all, magnificent, steep curves without the slightest trace of sag, flowing down into a tall, striking silhouette.
"Holy shit..."
The curse slipped out before I could catch myself.
My mouth was itching. I could afford to push my luck just a little further, couldn't I?
"Father. Honestly, this is completely absurd and infuriating, but I'll concede. Mother is honestly pretty hot. I'd believe it if someone said she was a succubus. If I were in your shoes, I probably would've ignored assassins and everything else too."
"A-Alzen?!"
Utterly scandalized, Pitora pulled her arms tight around herself.
"...Stanasila Aljen. Watch your tongue."
Urtega glared at me with murder in his eyes. I merely shrugged.
"Frankly, you ought to forgive this much insolence. An assassin broke into my bedroom just now, remember? Three of them, to be exact."
"Phew..."
At my retort, he let out a heavy sigh and nodded. It was his way of letting it slide just this once.
"Um..."
Gauging the atmosphere, Pitora carefully interjected.
"I haven't been able to follow the conversation for a while now. Alzen, what do you mean by assassins all of a sudden?"
"Hm? Father didn't tell you?"
"Not a single word."
Pitora shot Urtega a venomous glare before finally looking me over in earnest.
"Are you hurt anywhere?"
"Not a scratch."
"And you handled the assassins properly?"
"Yes. Killed two and left one alive."
"Then we must interrogate him."
"...That won't be easy. The moment he realizes his situation, he'll likely take his own life."
"Do not worry. The Duke's Castle mages are well-versed in interrogating such individuals."
"I doubt it..."
If this were some run-of-the-mill assassin guild, the mages might have worked wonders, but our opponent was Greenjack.
Considering how massive their network was and how peerless their skills had to be to remain undetected in the dark all this time... high hopes were out of the question.
"Well, I'll leave that in your hands to handle as you see fit... Anyway, Father. It's war. With Greenjack."
"...Why?"
"The assassin I kept alive is an executive of Greenjack. And that greedy woman who hoards talented people..."
I stopped myself before mentioning the Third Imperial Princess, cutting my eyes toward Pitora.
"?"
She had been listening intently, and tilted her head when she caught my look.
"Father. Wouldn't it be better to send Mother back to her room for now? I can't speak freely like this."
"It is fine. Pitora needs to know about this matter regardless."
"Hmm... I understand you trust her, but wouldn't it be better for her not to know?"
"What on earth are you talking about?"
I looked uncomfortably at Pitora's curious face before checking Urtega's expression again. His stance hadn't wavered in the slightest.
"...Then I'm laying it all out, alright? You're sure about this?"
"Do not make me repeat myself."
"Fine, if you say so..."
Left with no choice, I explained the entire situation, laying bare the background of how things had unfolded—including the presence of the Third Imperial Princess lurking behind Greenjack.
"...!?"
The moment I finished, Pitora's jaw dropped in absolute horror, and she brought her hand down across Urtega's back with terrifying ferocity.
"Are you out of your mind?! Of all the people in the world, you had to cross the imperial family?!"
Smack! Whack! Slap!
"...Pitora. Our son is watching. Maintain your composure..."
"Who cares about composure right now?! I can't take this anymore, I swear! How do you manage to cause a catastrophe the second I take my eyes off you?! Just when I thought things had finally quieted down lately!"
Crack! Smack! Thwack!
"...It could not be helped. I did not intend for this to—"
"Whether you intended it or not! If something like this happened, you should have told me immediately! We should have put our heads together to find a solution, so what on earth were you doing all this time?!"
Smack! Thwack! CRACK!!
Did she reinforce her body with mana? The impacts were sounding more vicious by the second.
Damn, that had to hurt like hell.
If she hit me like that, my back would cave in and I'd be coughing up a basin full of blood.
"Mother, spread the hits out more evenly. Right there, a little higher, yes. A strike there really knocks the wind out of—"
"And what did you do so right to flap your gums like that?! Stanasila Aljen!"
"...Excuse me?"
Cold sweat beaded on my brow as the arrow of her fury suddenly pivoted toward me.
"Wait, uh... Mother. In this specific incident, I'm purely the victim here. What could a powerless guy like me even do? I just got dragged into—"
"Get over here! You need a beating too!"
"Wait! Mother! Mana! At least take the mana out of your swing! You're going to kill your son!"
CRACK!
"Aaaargh!"
It was just a single blow, but a searing, fiery agony surged through my nervous system and rippled across my entire body.
All the strength drained from my limbs, and I collapsed limp onto the sofa.
"Phew... Honestly! The men in this family are the problem! There isn't a single sane one among you!"
"...Look, it's not my place to say, but it's not like the women around here are entirely normal either..."
The murderous glare she leveled at me made me shut my trap instantly.
"Haaah..."
After a moment, having calmed down slightly, Pitora buried her face in her hands and sank back onto the sofa.
"...Did you say Berick is an executive of Greenjack?"
"That's right."
"How did you find that out?"
"Just, you know, the usual. I just knew."
"I see..."
She didn't pry any further. After pondering in silence for a brief moment, she straightened her posture.
"Is war with Greenjack unavoidable?"
"Yes. Most likely. The Third Princess is obsessively greedy for talent, and she despises losing the assets she's acquired. This time, I killed two of her assassins and captured an executive named Agelmeyer... That alone guarantees they won't leave us in peace."
"...Then negotiations are out of the question as well."
"Right. The Third Princess is the mastermind pulling Greenjack's strings, but at the end of the day, Greenjack is an assassination syndicate. Even bringing it up would be dangerous. And even if we did, they'd simply try to erase everyone who knows the truth. Besides, the motive behind this conflict stems from 'Stanasila Aljen's capabilities'... It won't end unless I die. As long as I'm breathing, Greenjack will never rest easy."
"...Then."
Biting her lip, she asked with a faint trace of hesitation in her voice.
"Do you think... it's possible to persuade Berick?"
"Persuade him...?"
I gave her an odd look.
"Did you already know?"
"I don't know the specifics. But... I could feel that the boy's heart no longer belonged to Stanasila."
"Are you saying that was 'a mother's intuition'? Impressive. Hmm..."
It seemed she desperately wanted to return Berick to his rightful place.
Back as the second son of House Stanasila—Stanasila Berick.
"It'll probably be impossible."
"Still, we won't know unless we try, will we?"
"I don't know about persuasion, but if you truly want to keep Berick alive, subduing and locking him up would be far faster. Though I doubt even that would work."
"......"
A heavy shadow fell across Pitora's face.
Urtega and I could do nothing but watch in silence.
"Why... why does this world keep tearing my family away from me...?"
That softly muttered lament struck a deep, piercing chord in my chest.
Even though none of this was my fault, an irrational surge of guilt welled up inside me with nowhere to go. Purely on reflex, I tipped the bottle back and drowned it in another heavy mouthful of liquor.