Wait, Is This Crazy Bitch Out of Her Mind?
Even after turning it over in my mind for quite a while, no decent solution presented itself. Hoping to squeeze out whatever information I could, I turned to look at Vanes Clock.
Incidentally, Weller and Vivian weren't paying the slightest attention to us, chattering away animatedly as they pored over the field boss report. Judging by their endless banter—debating how they couldn't fathom its sheer size and wondering whether Weller's magic could take it down—their little gossip session wasn't ending anytime soon.
"Vanes Clock. You said you were receiving real-time updates on the Predator Root, didn't you?"
"The Predator Root...? Is that the wasteland monster's name?"
"Hm? Ah, well, something like that. Not that I came up with the name myself."
"The Predator Root... That isn't bad. May I refer to it by that name from now on?"
"Do whatever you want."
She pulled out a pen, jotted something down in her notepad, and then met my gaze again, nodding with stiff, businesslike efficiency.
"You asked whether I receive information in real time. Yes, that is correct. I am in periodic contact through a communication artifact."
Removing the artifact from her ear to show me, she fitted it back into place.
"Then how is the Predator Root moving right now?"
"Please hold on a moment."
She pressed a button on the artifact, whispered something under her breath, and nodded.
"They report no unusual movement."
"...And around the Predator Root? Is there anyone there?"
"...? I will inquire."
She looked as though she didn't grasp the intent behind my question, but rather than asking for clarification, she whispered into the artifact.
"They say there are neither people nor beasts—hm?! Hey! What's happening? What was that noise just now?! Answer me!"
Her calm, level tone spiked in volume, taut with sudden urgency.
As all eyes snapped toward her, Vanes, wearing a grave expression, froze completely still.
"...Who are you?"
Her voice, directed into the artifact, brimmed with surging hostility and murderous intent.
Tension skyrocketed in an instant, and she ground her teeth.
"I don't know who you are, but do you intend to wage war against the Adventurer Guild?... What?"
Speaking with whoever was on the other end of the line, she cast a glance in my direction.
"Why are you looking for him?... Is that a threat? Inconceivable. I have never heard of a human capable of such a thing... What?"
Her furious muttering trailed off as her gaze shifted to me once more.
I had a distinct feeling I knew who was on the other end, so I held out my hand and gestured with a flick of my fingers.
"Vanes Clock. The other party wants to speak with me, don't they? Hand over the artifact."
When I spoke with the face of a man who already knew everything, she hesitated for a second before biting her lip and reluctantly surrendering the device. Her belief that I was some kind of prophet or divine incarnation had likely played a major role in her compliance.
I gave a faint smirk, wishing that were actually the case. If I truly were a prophet or an avatar, the road to the ending would be a hell of a lot easier and shorter.
"Testing, testing. Can you hear me?"
I fitted the artifact into my ear, pressed the button, and casually tossed out a greeting. An immediate reply came buzzing back.
"Ah! Big brother! I'm finally hearing your voice in person! Nice to meet you! So, so nice to meet you!"
The voice was excessively cheerful, bubbly, and loud.
"You've got quite a nice voice! Such a soothing baritone! Oh! I haven't introduced myself, have I?! My name is Sardy! I came all the way here just to meet you, big brother! Hey, I'm out in the wasteland right now, so won't you come over here? Talking like this is just so unsatisfying! Huh?! You can do that for me, right? Don't worry! As long as you listen to me and behave, nothing dangerous will happen to you!"
Her voice burst forth as if unable to contain its overflowing emotions, ringing loudly in my eardrums. The breathless, suffocating weight of her expectations exerted an oppressive, stifling pressure. It was a voice far too undignified and frivolous for a Demon King.
Having only ever encountered her dialogue as written text in the game, I had never experienced this side of her before. It was a situation where panic was warranted, yet only a single thought popped into my head.
Ah, so that's the gimmick she's playing this time around?
For a Demon King, this chick really was something else... A laugh slipped out before I could stop it. Whatever tension had been creeping up on me melted away completely.
"Hm? Big brother, what's so funny? Tell me too, come on! I want to laugh too!"
Yeah, why should I be the only one taking things seriously? Demon King or whatever, what did it matter? Even if she killed me, it wouldn't be the end of my existence anyway. There was no reason to overthink dealing with someone I might end up having similar conversations with dozens of times in the future.
Gulp, gulp!
I took a hearty swig of alcohol, savoring the fiery warmth that bloomed deep in my chest. Moments later, the liquor seeped into the depths of my brain, pleasantly unraveling my frayed nerves.
Cutting straight through the buzzing voice shrilling in my ear, I spoke up.
"Hahaha. Indeed. Good to hear from you, my old friend."
Shall I play the clown a bit myself, then?
If I could throw her off-balance, I might just squeeze out some unexpected intel. And if not, whatever.
"...Huh? Friend? Are you talking to me?"
"Naturally, I am speaking to thee. Who else would I be addressing?"
"I don't remember ever becoming friends with you, though?"
"Ah, of course. Naturally. That is only to be expected."
The sheer absurdity of roleplaying back and forth with a Demon King amused me so much that laughter seeped into my voice. The drunken buzz staining my mind and limbs lent a rhythmic, sing-song cadence to my speech; my lips curled up to match that cadence, and my shoulders swayed along with it.
"And yet, it remains an undeniable truth that we are companions! Did we not slaughter one another over and over again? Countless times I took thy life, and countless times thou didst take mine—by every conceivable means and method! Is that not the very hallmark of genuine friendship? An endless fellowship forged in blood and demise! A bond so profound and visceral that nothing in this world could compare! Through it all, did we not lay bare our innermost souls, acknowledge each other, and come to understand one another? If such a bond cannot be called friendship, then what can?"
At the very least, it wasn't a lie. Whenever I had encountered her in the game, it had always been a matter of killing or being killed.
Furthermore, at the end of their mid-battle conversations, she had always offered the protagonist a chance to become friends. Options to accept or decline would pop up, but it was nothing more than a meaningless illusion of choice. Being a demon, she could never become one of the protagonist's heroines. Because of that, the community forums had gone up in flames back then, much like they did over Cacciola.
In any case, ever since I realized the choice was purely cosmetic, I had always chosen to accept her offer of friendship. So I could proudly declare myself her friend with a clear conscience.
"...Big brother. Is your head okay? Are you sick or something?"
Even without seeing the Demon King's face across the line, I could picture it clearly. Mainly because I was certain the party members staring at me right now wore that exact same look.
Naturally, it wasn't my problem. After all, who they were looking at wasn't me, but 'Stanashila Aljen.' Being a possessor was remarkably convenient at times like this.
"Hahahaha! My mind is as sound as ever, O Urea! My dearest companion!"
"My name is Sardy. Did you already forget when I just introduced myself? That's so mean! Can you even call yourself a friend like that?"
"Ah! Dear me! Forgive my confusion! Wast thou Cornell, who once gathered herbs in the countryside? Or perhaps Aias from the butcher's shop?"
"...What?"
"Hahaha! My apologies, friend! Keeping track of thy ever-shifting past is a task too burdensome even for me! Who art thou in this moment? Where art thou, and what art thou doing? Art thou perchance the Iron-Blooded Knightess, Tyro Bollard? Thy blade reaped enemy generals and led an entire nation to victory! Oho! Or art thou the Witch Schola! The continent's greatest heretic and the very wellspring of plague! Even the Emperor quaked in terror at the mere mention of thy name! And what of Pino, the Divine Maiden beloved by nature itself! The continent's very first Druid! Thy majesty and deeds shook the heavens and the earth! Ah, and we must not forget Bane Balani! That dreadful dark mage! Accursed apostate! Thou wert revered as the harbinger of all things vile and loathed! Or perhaps Remong Minor! The great and terrifying prophet who foresaw calamity, plague, and war! At thy prophetic words, the Imperial Palace trembled and the Church shook in its boots!"
"...Who the hell are you?"
"Ho-ho, did I not already say? I am thy oldest friend!"
"Speak plainly. Who are you? What are you?"
The bubbly, radiant cheerfulness from moments ago collapsed into a damp, suffocating darkness. Feeling a strange thrill of superiority at shattering her little act, I took another sip of alcohol and smiled slyly.
"Hahaha. But thou already knowest, dost thou not? And have I not told thee already? I am thy old friend."
"...Heh, heheheh... I don't know. I don't know you at all. Heheheh...! I only meant to test the waters, but you... you really are an amusing bastard, aren't you...? I don't know how many centuries it's been since I was last shaken and caught off guard like this. Fascinating. Absolutely fascinating. It's been so long since my blood ran this hot...!"
"How fortunate that I could offer some small solace to the tedium and ennui rooted as deep as an ancient tree within thee."
"You understand my boredom and weariness?"
"Of course. Didst thou not say so thyself? That thou existest simultaneously in the past and the future—that thy present is both past and future, leaving thee trapped in a ghastly purgatory where thou canst neither reminisce nor harbor hope. I could not perceive the world as thou didst, yet I could sympathize with it. I told thee then that I would refuse such an authority even if it were offered for free. And to that, thou didst answer that hadst thou been given a choice, thou never would have chosen such power either."
Silence lingered for a moment before a low chuckle slipped from her lips. Though damp and somber, that laughter was tinged with an oddly faint warmth and anticipation.
"Ah, but tell me, Hilda, Lafiti, Elysia, my dearest friend—what business prompted thee to seek conversation with me?"
"Ah, right... No, forget that now. Originally, I was planning to toy with you while playing the role of 'Monster Tamer Sardy'... but I'm dropping all of that."
"Hmm, is that so? My apologies if I have spoiled thy amusement."
"It's fine. Right now, this very instant—this unforeseen 'time' and 'space' is the greatest joy and pleasure I could ever ask for. How wonderful that I chose not to look into the future."
"......"
"I'm so thrilled that I can't even fathom who you are. I'm practically going mad wondering how you figured out I was a Demon King. Heh, heheheh...!"
Her low laughter suddenly climbed into a passionate pitch.
"I want to see you. I don't think I've ever felt this unable to control my emotions. So, won't you come to where I am? If we're friends, you can do at least that much, right?"
Like hell I would.
"Regrettably, my present self lacks the might to slay thee. Meeting me now would bring thee naught but disappointment."
"Ah, now that you mention it, you did say we forged our bond by sharing countless deaths... Hahaha. What kind of nonsense is that? We're friends, but we can only meet when we're able to kill each other?"
"That was the nature of our accord."
"...How strange. No matter how far back into the past I search, I have no recollection of such things. Just who was the 'me' you saw? And what on earth are you, claiming you can kill me?"
"Haha, dost thou yearn to know? Yet I shall not grant thee an answer. Leaving it shrouded will surely bring thee far greater delight. This much, however, I can say with certainty: I am thy friend, and thou art mine."
"Aha. Ahaha...! You're right. It's exhilarating...! I feel like I could cry! Every time your voice echoes in my ear, shivers run down my spine! I can feel the boredom and apathy etched into the depths of my soul burning away into ash! My blood is rushing! My entire body is surging with motivation and power! Ah! Stanashila Aljen! Just who the hell are you?! Who are you to make me ache and crave like this?! I want to see you! I need to see you! Right now!"
"I sympathize with thy sentiment, but alas, it cannot be."
"Then I'll come see you! Right now! To that very spot! Wait for me! I'll be there soon!"
Wait, is this crazy bitch out of her mind?
Judging by her fervor, she wasn't even going to bother concealing her identity as a Demon King; she was going to come barreling straight here at full throttle.
A bead of cold sweat trickled quietly down my neck.